Chapter 3: The 7-Day Challenge
On your first day, from the moment you wake up until you go to bed, make the intent to notice all the things you are grateful for.
There are so many things that we take for granted without giving them a second thought. The challenge is to look around you and notice these things or people and how they make your life easier or happier. Just keep your mind open and be grateful for as many things as you can.
Examples:
At the end of the day, record in your journal three things that you were most grateful for during your day, why they make you feel that way and your reflections on them.
That's all you have to do for day 1. Now, on to day 2!
Your mission for day 2 is to look for opportunities to help others and experience the wonderful sense of selflessness that comes from showing kindness. Being kind to others expands your heart to gratitude because it just makes you feel so good! Here are some examples:
People don't usually expect appreciation out of the blue so when they receive it, you can be certain it will make their day – and it will make you feel great.
Note: The key here is to be sincere rather than throwing out false compliments for the sake of flattery. Engage with people from a real sense of appreciation and empathy because they add value to your life.
At the end of the day, record in your journal how you went out of your way to male others happy and how it makes you feel.
Day 3: Mindful Positivity
On day 3, you will be on the lookout for negative things that you encounter throughout your day. These could be situations, people or things. Your goal is to find something positive in the negative, such as a lesson, takeaway, or a positive trait that offsets the negative one. Here are some examples:
Negative situation: You're caught in a traffic jam on the way home due to an accident on the road. You're going to be at least two hours late because traffic is at a complete standstill. You think of all the things you have to do at home, your family waiting anxiously, that report you have to write for your boss… it's a total bummer. What positive thing could you possibly be grateful for in that situation?
Well, for starters, that you're not in that accident, injured or God forbid, even dead. At the very least, your car would be totaled. Be grateful that you are safe and that your loved ones are safe and say a prayer for those less fortunate people in the accident.
That should be enough to keep you patient until you make it home. Spend the time listening to podcasts or even playing games on your phone. It's not the end of the world.
Negative people: We all know that type of person who is always so cynical and critical; the constant moaner and complainer who always finds fault with everything. Being around people like that can be extremely draining and frustrating.
How do you see anything positive in that type of person? Everyone, no matter how horrible they may seem, has some positive traits. They may be an animal lover. It may be that they express their criticism with a dry sense of humor that makes you smile despite yourself. It may be that they are brutally honest, in their own way.
Negative people usually have a reason for being that way. They could be scared or angry due to a past negative experience. Seeing them in this light helps you empathize with them and be more understanding.
Negative things: Your boiler breaks down in the middle of winter and the inconvenience and cost of getting it fixed have thrown your budget and schedule off track. However, you can look at the positive side and be grateful that you even have a boiler when so many people in the world still live without heat and running water. Be grateful that the money spent did not go towards medical costs for you or a loved one being ill or hospitalized. When you look at the bigger picture in this way, you will be grateful it was not worse.
This challenge will really make you think deeply about many things and help you realize that indeed, every cloud does have a silver lining. Record your reflections in your gratitude journal.
Affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself in order to condition your brain to believe them. Because they work to rewire your brain on a subconscious level, they are very powerful tools for making gratitude a lasting mindset.
All you have to do is choose two or three affirmations that resonate with you and repeat them to yourself throughout the day. There are two things to note here:
Affirmations must be said with conviction.
Affirmations must be in the present tense and never in the past tense.
Here are some examples:
I am so grateful for everything I have in my life.
I accept and appreciate all that comes to me in my life.
My life is filled with abundance and I am grateful for that.
I am grateful for my health and the health of my loved ones.
I am grateful for my loved ones and friends who encourage and support me.
You can choose two or three affirmations from the examples above. Google more by searching for "gratitude affirmations" or even write your own. Keep them posted where you can see them and repeat them throughout the day.
This is a very counterintuitive approach that is designed to "shock" you into gratitude. It was invented by the ancient Stoic philosophers who believed that all worldly desires and material possessions were a vice and that one must live only to cultivate inner virtue.
Negative visualization works by forcing your mind to imagine a worst-case scenario and in doing so, you immediately realize all that you have to be grateful for. Sit down, close your eyes and force yourself to imagine one of the following:
Losing everything. A terrible hurricane or flood hits your town and destroys everything; your home, car and all of your possessions. You are left with nothing but the clothes on your back. Visualize the terrible scene, and how everything you worked so hard for is gone. Enough said.
Death or illness of a loved one: Death and illness are facts of life. When you visualize the death or serious illness of a loved one, you will immediately realize that nothing – absolutely nothing – would matter compared to that. Be grateful that your children and family are happy and healthy. You will realize that having your loved ones in your life is all you need to be happy.
Contemplate your own mortality. Nobody likes to reflect on their own death and yet, we're all going to die someday. Reflect on your own mortality and how precious life is. We don’t know how long we will be in the world. What matters is that we enjoy every moment. Be grateful for every new day and never take anything for granted.
Many people find this exercise extremely uncomfortable and with good reason. But when you practice negative visualization, you should experience a dramatic shift in your perspective. Not having all you want and having a less than perfect life is nothing compared to losing all you have, losing a loved one or losing your own life.
Day 6: Become A Minimalist For A Day
A minimalist is someone who learns to live and function with only the bare essentials... Modern-day minimalists report that living with less has made them happier and more content. They are able to focus on what really matters rather than on material possessions and escape the endless cycle of materialism.
On day 6, your challenge is to live like a minimalist from the moment you get up. Simplify everything you do down to the bare minimum. This means eating simply, dressing simply, avoiding the use of time-wasting gadgets and TV and focusing on the simple things in life. Here are some suggestions:
This challenge is designed to make you appreciate all the blessings in your life that you take for granted. More importantly, it helps you see that if you were to lose almost everything tomorrow, you could still live very well with much less!
This challenge involves observing people that you encounter and finding a trait or quality in them that you admire. Here are a few examples:
You are at a crowded bistro for lunch and the waitress, dealing with dozens of demanding customers, remains efficient, polite and professional. She serves you with a smile and even remembers your name. Record your appreciation and admiration for her professionalism and patience.
Notice a mother playing with her child in the park and admire her patience and loving care of her child.
Notice the positive traits of your colleagues at work, such as working well under pressure, forbearance with a difficult supervisor or angry customer, or their willingness to run errands and help others.
Notice the wonderful traits of your own family members and tell yourself how lucky you are to have them in your life, even though you do have your ups and downs.