The 'Hao' Attitude by Neelam Birthare (Nicky BaBa) - HTML preview

Chapter 6

The Gist

Hao is a small little word as cute as our minions of animated movies but it has so many meanings. One fine meaning of Hao was not discussed in details because it is self-explanatory. As the word Hao stands for a yes and so the understood aspect of the Hao attitude is related to Never-quit early, dare-to-say yes needs no description. It is an obvious dimension of the multi-dimensional Hao attitude.

The hao attitude stands for attitude of never-quitting early, ignoring irrelevant, accepting what matters, giving importance to our personal relationships by a soft touch of informal attitude and most importantly; not surviving barely but living a life by adding flavors of fun, humor and uncommon common sense in it.

Hao-logy includes the attitude of ‘Move-on’ when you realize you cannot hold it further; just let it go. We respect the old proverb- a rolling stone gathers no moss; but guess what you are not a stone, you are a human with feelings, thoughts, emotions. Our lives are full of possibilities of having a great future. Settle for things which satiates the inner you but there is nothing wrong in ignoring those who never valued you. Why cry for fools?

One negative side of the Hao attitude is linked to the arrogant approach towards others which people practice at times. Many things in life are misunderstood because they are misinterpreted; John Milton in paradise lost has described the power of one’s mind so astutely when he wrote- “The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

It is clear that our mind plays a crucial role in determining our individuality. I can learn positives or negatives depending on my liking, disliking, interest and mindset. There are people who find flaws even in great heroic figures like Hercules, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Albert Einstein etc; they don’t even spare the almighty power which they entreat .On the other side, there are those who have the ability to find goodness even in so called diabolic figures like Ravan of Ramayan or Satan of Bible.

The Hao attitude is associated with arrogance too; but if we practice arrogance towards challenges and not the fellow being, we are utilizing its negative side in a positive way. The foundation of all abundance is respecting and valuing all the goodness which we already possess.

May be a majority of us are to inspired by the renowned dialogue of the heart-touching movie ‘fault in our stars’. It was stated as- pain demands to be felt. Thankfully at Indore when you are born in a Hao-culture you are aware that pain is not the only feeling which is to be felt. Why overrate pain? Every feeling demands to be felt; positive feelings like happiness, joy, love, contentment ideally need to be overestimated. The negative feelings like sadness, anger, jealousy, and pain are to be accepted. One can work on substituting them using the hao attitude. The Hao-attitude is a way of living life with your heart. It is okay to be a little crazy, a little freak, a little chilled, a little confused. This acceptance helps to simplify our lives because at the end we are humans and not robots. We cannot control everything.

While expressing good thoughts, sharing positive sides of life, discussing an ideal life we might feel a bit doubtful. The world say- this is all bookish, it is impractical; one cannot implement all such stuffs in real life.

Practicing simple principle is often far more complicated and sophisticated deal .It is believed that these principles sounds good but applying these ideas is not feasible; they shall remain in fictions only. The world calls it bookish because a majority of them failed to implement it. The concept was not unrealistic but it was hard to practice; not everyone is born with a caliber to live a life full of virtues.

I am a common man; I cannot hold all the goodness of the world in me but if I deny accepting the good things in life, I restrain myself from the possibility of improving by adding one distinct quality, one good trait, one minor positive change. The concept of computer science “Garbage In, Garbage Out” is applicable on our brains too; feeding the mind with good thoughts is essential.

The Hao attitude is a very clear-cut thing; it is about living a “Game-free” straight forward life. The dualism is to be avoided. Why be mongrel? Either preach what you practice or practice what you preach.

The essence of Hao-logy; depends on the way we apply it. I saw a teen using her attitude of courage and humor; when an immature guy teased her in the city traffic with a stupid comment coming from his insane mind. She responded to the eve-teasing as – Hao Re! chal ab aage dekhar gaadi chala le (ok.. now move on moron; and drive carefully)

I saw my best friend many a times diverting other friends from an irrelevant topic, with her skills she avoids many situations which may lead to a clash in our peer group- Hao Re! Jaane do.. kaam ki baat karo ( come on guys, move on ..Let’s talk sense)

My favorite teacher boosted my Hao attitude; she encouraged my confidence when I could not win the singing competition. In her sweet loving voice she said- Hao Neelam! We learn by participation only my child.

My brother who works in an IT company often goes to office even on weekends, many a times he arrives late at home. His friends says he handles a great load of work pressure, when I ask him how you feel about your work life he replies- Hao yaar ! kaam hai, kaam toh karna hi padta hai. My PC is my first girlfriend sweetheart. (yes..dude! Its work and work needs to be done)

I saw another cool friend of mine; she ignored the fool who ditched a charming lass like her when he cheated on her. She didn’t cry, screamed or yelled. Of course she was sad for a few days; after all acceptance takes time but then one fine day she said- Hao! ab gaya toh gaya..Jab dil aaya gadhi pe toh fir pari bhi kya chiz hai. (Well fine, what’s gone is gone; you cannot make a fool fall in love with an angel if he adores a donkey)

If you ever come to Indore; the walking-talking examples of this Hao attitude are best found on roads. They are not well-educated or cultured; these poor fellows don’t know the ABC of good manners and sophisticated living, nobody ever taught them, life is their whole sole teacher. They work hard selling vegetable, fruits, other edibles etc. They toil as bus conductors, cab drivers and indulge in all sorts of work to earn a living by hard work. These guys have an expertise in living life with a Hao attitude. They are not at all as fragile and maladjusted as me, the convent educated, single pampered child of parents who gets an anxiety attack on silly things. They belong to the category of people who change your ideas if you observe their lifestyle and you see the world with a new perspective; they make you realize the fact that it is not bold and beautiful. The reality is bold in itself is beautiful.

Ever you travel in the buses of Malwa-Nimaad regions of Madhya Pradesh, 70 % of time you will find an entertaining Bus conductor, who makes that suffocating journey a memorable experience of your life by his crazy and creative sense of humor. He cracks jokes with the villagers, calms down two urban ladies fighting for the window seat, finds a place to sit for the standing child, helps the newly married couple to place their luggage smartly and then ask that old wrinkled fellow with a big turban in Malawi Dialect  – Dada kaii laau kya tamare ( do you need something, grand pa !)

The male version of Air-hostess working on a salary 10 times lesser than those aviation personnel, but he respects his work as worship. He does his work in the same manner on a regular basis, full of zeal, happiness and holds no regret. He considers himself as the Rajnikant (hero) of his own life. He too has a sick mother at home, unpaid rent, an unmarried sister but he holds a Hao attitude towards life. He fights each day with a smiling face, living in present, valuing the moment. Sitting on my window seat; looking at the Rajnikant of the MP tourism bus my silly heart said to myself – “Bhaiyaaa… thoda hao attitude humko bhi sikha do yaar!!!!!” (bro... can you please teach me a little bit of hao attitude)

And I kept smiling for long….!!!! :)

- Nicky BaBa

Share your ideas, views, feelings and experiments about the Hao- attitude. Email @ nick.birthare@gmail.com

Allow me to learn from you! Take care.