The Prohibition of Snow Boarding by Gary Heins - HTML preview

Acknowledgements

Special Thanks to:

Terry Abelin, Ernie & Martha Anderson, Lonnie Ball, Carl Bear, Lee Beebe, Michael Becker, Randy Benko, Tom Bennett, Darrel Berger, Joe Borque, Junior Bounous, Dave Broquist, Donna Brummer, Renny & Tracy Burke, Dave By-bee, Dave Cole, Doug Coombs, Dick Daly, Herb Davis, Sam Dibella, Dave Dutson, Derrick Dutson, Danny Edwards, Frankie Elliot, Bob Emery, Andy Erickson, Dave Etter, Jay Evans, Patrea Faulkner, Susan Federspeil, Kathie Gallardo, Alan & Marsha Garber, Victor Gerdin, Jim Gold, Rob Green, Dave Haller, Curt Hallock, Tom Hammerel, Henry Horn-berger, Brian Hubbs, Rick Jacobs, Paul "PJ" Jones, Barbara Kaplan, Mike "Spud" Kelly, Ron Kipp, Chris Latham & Beth Jones, Kip & Dara Laughlin, Anne Laughlin, Elton Lee, Rich Lee, Sally Lehrkind, Bob Leipheimer, Robin Locke, Shawna Lockhart, Kent Lundel, Dan Marsh, Dave McCormick, Mike McGovern, Theo Meiners, Glenda & Gene Miller, Matt Mer-ritt, Roy Meyers, Morris Miles, Warren Miller, Jim C. Moore, Dan Mortensen, Barb & Mark Mortier, Peder Neese, Debra Nelson, Kay & Gary Owen, Craig "Roper" Pearson, Vern Peterson, Tom Pettigrew, John Poast, Mark Reed, John Renko, Bud Ridenour, Rowdy & Amanda, Dale Rundel, Debbie Schell, Larry Simmons, Jeff Socha, Mike Sodergren, Lynn Steinmentz, Pepi Stiegler, Keith Talley, Larry Thorn­ton, Stephen Tobler, Jill Tower, Paul Trout, Cory Vellinga, Joe Waggonner, Stuart Wilde, George Willett, Jeff Zell, Jim Zell, Jane Dantz, Agnes & Matilda.

And Extra Special Thanks . . . to
GARY HEINS'S ROUGH READERS
(you know who you are)

This book,

The PROHIBITION
THE OF SNOW-BOARDING
by GARY HEINS U.S. SKI TEACHER

is

BANNED!

in parts of :

Colorado
Utah
California
Oregon
Washington
Idaho
Montana
& Wyoming

(That's pretty funny when you think about it.)

Hear what others might have saidabout
THE PROHIBITION OF SNOW-BOARDING
By GARY HEINS--U.S. SKI TEACHER

"When Heins infiltrated our PSIA organization in the early 1980s, we had no idea he was going to turn out to be so smart. I think he tried to tell us, but we didn't listen."

--Anonymous

"If I ever own another race horse as great as SeaBisquit, I'm gonna name him SkiBisquit."

--Jeff Bridges

"What I learned most skiing with Mr Heins is this: 'you can get further with a kind word and some fun . . . than you can with just a kind word.'"

--Al Capone

"I don't think this book is a question of Heins wanting to 'put feud on the table' . . . so much as it is he wants to . . . 'take feud off the table.'"

--Wyatt Earp

"There will come a man with a backwards name (Heins), and it will be his purpose in life to turn the ski industry around, and he will do well."

--Nostradamus

"I knew Gary when he 'infiltrated' PSIA in the early 1980s. I knew he was going to be a great ski instructor, but I didn't realize he would be this great."

--KL

"The key to Heins's success in reaching total freedom is that he escaped the confines of the SS locker room."

--Winston Churchill

"When you stop and think, it's truly amazing how simple skiing really is--basically just turning left-n-right with two planks on your feet down a snow-covered mountain. Then, what's even more amazing is . . . how so few Powers-That-Ski can just about totally mess it up. And, then! what's most amazing is . . . how much Gary Heins can write about it, straightening it all out, and making it endlessly interesting--it's better than my beloved Main Street or Babbitt. It's like, for skiing, he's written a whole new Infra-Scripture."

--Sinclair Lewis

"Most great skiers haven't bothered with snow-boarding, and nobody faults them for it--they know how great skiing is, the endless variety there is to explore using independent-leg-action and a pair of poles, and they know what a fiasco snow-boarding is, being hobbled so; but they keep their mouth shut, because they don't want to get themselves into trouble or make any enemies. We all had a subliminal top-secret meeting, and it was agreed that I'm the one appointed to spill the beans--hence,"

--GARY HEINS
U.S. SKI TEACHER

"You know: I don't think there's been a movie or a book of this caliber, of this controversy, . . . since the movie The Sheepman came out."

--Glenn Ford

Watch for SWINGIN' G BOOKS n videos

by GARY HEINS:

HAVE HARMONY with WOMEN
--Heinsian WESTERN SWING

ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER
--Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING

SIT DEEP in the SADDLE
--Heinsian WESTERN RIDING

poetry and song:

RIMES of an ANCIENT SKI TEACHER
--Heinsian SKI-BOY POETRY

MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'
--Heinsian SKIBOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC

friction:

THE GREATEST SKI INSTRUCTOR IN THE WEST

THE PROHIBITION
OF SNOW-BOARDING
--THE ENFORCEMENT OF TRUE DOWNILL SKIING
By GH--USST

some bonus books:

THE GREATEST SCHOOL-BUS
DRIVER EVER

ESCAPE ON TWO WHEELS
--Heinsian BIKE-PACKING

And watch for these columns:

RIDING WITH HEINS-SIGHT
(TWELVE READS)

SKIING WITH HEINS-SIGHT
(FIFTEEN UPRIGHT COLUMNS)

GOLFING WITH HEINS-SIGHT
(--NINE WHOLE COLUMNS)

"BUTT -FIRST" WRITING

--THE HEINSIAN WAY
(TWELVE INSTILLMENTS)

To send a Letter, or . . . To bring a GARY HEINS DOWNHILL SKIING lecture to your area, . . . or to find out his other services,

call the HeinsQuarters of the:

GARY HEINS

circa 1990

at the HeinsQuarters of the
SWINGIN' G RANCH