3 Jesus gave me the power to overcome addiction and parents’ divorce/absence as a teen and bipolar disorder as an adult
My mind drew back to my teenage years up to adulthood. Out of all the books I've read, the Book of Mormon has increased my faith and brought me closer to Jesus Christ more than any other book.
When I first started reading the Book of Mormon daily as a teenager, it was for 9th grade seminary. The more I read, the more I was drawn to it, to not just read the minimum. That was my first testimony of the book, the fact that it was hard to put the Book of Mormon down, even though it was scripture. It began to be "delicious" to me as Alma says in Alma chapter 32 of the Book of Mormon. I began to "feast upon the words of Christ". I started to understand that God could speak to me personally through His Spirit which came through reading Christ's words in the Book of Mormon. Certain passages would seem to jump out of the page and into my heart and soul, guiding me step by step, molding me into who I am today.
As I read the Book of Mormon, I noticed a tangible difference in my daily life. I was 14, had just moved out of state the previous year, following my parents divorce and my mom's clinical depression mental breakdown when she would get sent to a mental facility often for the next 4 years. Plus, I had my own struggles with social anxiety and an addiction. By all rights I should have been miserable. But I wasn't. And the Book of Mormon was a big part of why I was able to remain happy despite extremely difficult experiences because of the Spirit it brought into my life. When I stayed at my sister's mother and father-in-law's house in Tucson, AZ when my mom and dad couldn't take care of me I started to read the book of Mormon in the mornings because someone recommended that to me and it brought me peace in a very troubling time.
I can still remember when I was 15 after Seminary just walking to class in the snow feeling very bright and happy. My friend asked my why I was having such a great day and the thought occurred to me that it was because I could feel God's love more from my Book of Mormon reading. And because I read daily, I had many days like that; it helped me to be a kinder friend and a better student. It wasn't that God's love for me was changing, but I was changing to be more open to receive the messages of love He was already willing to send.
The Book of Mormon builds my faith in Christ so that l have enough faith to repent and ask for his enabling power to become more like Him. I know Christ has forgiven me many times as I repent. After I started reading the Book of Mormon daily, Jesus helped me overcome an addiction as a teenager. I followed my bishop's inspired counsel to read the scriptures daily which gave me power through Christ to conquer my addiction. I felt like Christ baptized me with fire as I felt burning, warm tingling sensations throughout my whole body as I watched resurrected Jesus during the Testaments, a movie about Christ's visit in the Book of Mormon and New Testament. I felt like Christ gave me spiritual rebirth by changing my nature in that I had no more desire to do evil including the addiction, but to do good continually.
Between ages 14 and 18 l lived with extended family or friends 4 different times and also lived alone at times in 2 states. With everything always changing in my life, my one constant became God's love for me personally which l felt closer to as l read the Book of Mormon.
Reading the book of Mormon daily also helped me to learn to speak, read and write Russian within 6 months when I volunteered there for 2 years teaching about Jesus, teaching English, and serving the disabled or at nursing homes.
Jesus has empowered me with strength and endurance to recover from a nervous breakdown and get through the last 3 years of clinical bipolar depression episodes, from extreme high manic episodes to extreme low depression episodes lasting several months. During those times, I continued to read the Book of Mormon and pray. While at a Crisis Recovery Unit for suicidal clinical depression, I knew God had not forgotten me. An image came to my mind from Christ of His hand reaching out to me, just like as He was walking on water and reached down to Peter when He was about to drown. Then, I felt Christ 'pulled me up' out of the water as He led me to find the treatment that would work for me with bipolar disorder, shock therapy. He sent my wife profound peace about me doing shock therapy, dispelling all her fears. Now it's almost been a year since my last episode.
And now in 2017, in april I heard from the Mormon prophet Thomas S. Monson at general conference "if you're not already reading the book of Mormon daily, please do so." Those words hit me with such power and I immediately committed to myself I would read the book of Mormon daily, which I followed from April to now, 8 months later.
I did notice a big difference. I experimented with just reading random pages each day and it was amazing that I remember particular days when I flipped to a page and I'd think, "how did God know how to guide me to just the right page to hear the words I needed to hear?" After it happened a few times I realized it wasn't necessarily because I needed a certain page number. It was because when I'm reading the words of Christ in the scriptures, the Spirit is able to enlighten me and speak to my questions and concerns, no matter the page number.
Today, Dec 21st I read in Alma 33 in the Book of Mormon and it described the time with Moses when there were venomous serpents and the only thing the Israelites needed to do to be healed and save their life was to look at Moses' serpent staff, small and simple thing to save them. The spirit taught me that Thomas S. Monson's direction to reading the Book of Mormon daily is the same as Moses' direction to look at his staff. The book of Mormon daily is just as effective for me to be healed and saved spiritually daily from the Serpent's (devil's) venom--temptations/sin-- as the serpent staff (Jesus on the cross) was effective for physical healing and saving because reading and applying the book of Mormon daily increases my faith in Jesus Christ's power to heal me spiritually and physically.
So I continue to read the scriptures daily so I can be more in tune to the spirit and be who God sent me to earth to be.
Through my faith in Christ, developed from Book of Mormon reading, Jesus Christ heals me spiritually from sin, blesses me with his spirit presence on earth, and empowers me to become like Him so that l can overcome any struggle and become worthy to live in his presence in glory forever.