An elder of Mt. Athos used to tel young monks: “Do not strike up a conversation with your thoughts and imaginings!” Another elder said: “Above my cel many birds wil fly. I cannot forbid them. But that which I can do is to disal ow them to make their nest on my roof!” St. John of the Ladder says: “Even if your mind is constantly distracted from your prayer, you must struggle unceasingly to recal it. We shal not be condemned because our attention was distracted in prayer, but rather because we did not attempt to bring it back.” The “thoughts and imaginings” of which the first elder spoke trouble many of us a great deal and can be serious obstacles to prayer. A long and difficult struggle may be needed to cut them off completely. This is so because, in many cases, even though these thoughts and imaginings are foreign to our true nature, they have nonetheless become very familiar. They have established their lairs in us. We have become accustomed to them and, as a matter of course, consider them quite natural. When they come to disturb our prayer, concentration can be quickly lost. And these thoughts may not leave us when we want them to go away, especial y if they correspond to our uncontrolled desires, if they are indicative of a weakness in our wil . As we said, the struggle can be long and difficult. Let us be honest and not try to hide or justify our weakness.
There are many other and varied obstacles to prayer. There is hesitation, anxiety and pain related to nonexistent il ness. There is il disposition, hunger, thirst, sleepiness, impatience, remembrances, weariness.
We may recal details that we thought had been relegated to oblivion – telephone numbers, sayings of elders, irritations and annoyances of the past. Al these can be problems to beginners, but they should not dishearten us. In addition, there are imaginings and demonic fears that usual y trouble those who are advanced in prayer, and sometimes beginners to a lesser degree.
More fundamental y, we can say that the devil uses our negligence and our inattention to leave the heart unenlightened by the life of prayer, bringing a myriad of vain thoughts and imaginations to draw us away from the essence of prayer. But we must keep in mind that which is exclaimed in the Divine Liturgy: “The doors, the doors; in wisdom, let us be attentive!” The doors of the mind and of the heart must be wel guard, so that the originator of evil wil not control them and be able to enter freely.
It is most difficult to guard our thoughts and protect them from evil theories, demonic deceptions, false visions. Very particular attention is needed here. The purpose of prayer is not the vision of God, but the pouring out of his mercy. A strong desire to see God may be the beginning of error. Let us live as unworthy and incapable, as we certainly are, and if God should wil to appear to us, then al wel and good. But this should not be our agonizing purpose.
There was once an ascetic who was praying in the desert and a temptation came to disturb him.
Humbling himself as usual, the ascetic was tempted with the presence of a false light. Deeming himself unworthy to look upon the divine light, and wanting to shun false lights, he buried his face in the sand. The temptation disappeared and an inexpressible peace fil ed the heart of the ascetic. This story il ustrates how very much aware and sober we must be.
Let us therefore guard against obstructions. Let us stand courageously, like the ascetic mentioned by St. Neilos the Ascetic, who had been bitten by a snake while praying. He did not move until he had completed his prayer. “And he who loved God more than himself was not harmed at al .” A similar incident is mentioned by Pal adios about a certain monk cal ed Elpidios. He was bitten by a scorpion but did not move from his position of prayer either.
A characteristic of contemporary man, who is easy-going in some ways, is a strong sense of hurry, and great impatience. He expects a great deal quickly and without much toil. The impatience which possesses him makes him want to hurry in prayer; he wants instant results, here and now. He wants to reap fruit before even sowing. Without a drop of sweat, he expects miracles, visions and revelations. Such pure but naïve desires of contemporary man, who in spite of his folly does not cease desiring God, are frightful y and dangerously exploited by the many wolves in sheep's clothing, who have infiltrated the spiritual fold of Christ.