The delay in seeing our prayer requests fulfil ed, in having our questions answered, is yet another point on which our life of prayer is tested. It is neither a matter of God not hearing our prayers nor of His being indifferent our suffering. God does not want us to be troubled and tormented, but to be in constant communion with Him with our fervent prayers, which should increase if not immediately answered. We should thank God whether He gives us what we ask for or not, since in either case He is acting for our own good. We should not be discouraged and disil usioned when we do not receive what we ask for in prayer. God may be testing our persistence. Let us not tire easily.
If we do not receive what we seek we should thank God, nonetheless, as if our prayer has indeed been answered, since He knows our true needs of the present hour better than we do. It may be that our hope does not materialize because what we desire is not essential, even though it may seem indispensable to us at the time.
If something is truly indispensable God wil provide it instantly. Therefore, even in the case of apparent rejection, St. John Chrysostom reassures that in essence we have succeeded. Any failure that brings benefit to our life is in fact not a failure but success.
“But Father, I am asking for spiritual things that are good for me, why is it that I do not receive them?” you may ask. Perhaps because your zeal for them is insufficient. Perhaps because the requests are not truly from your own heart, but contrived from other sources or motives. Perhaps you are not worthy to receive them at this time. It is not possible that God, who takes care of the birds, the irrational animals and the plants of the earth, and whose compassion for human beings far surpasses any paternal bond of kinship ignores us without reason.
Our drowsy yawning, our flight even from very first disappointment when everything seems to bother us, our indifference, accompanied by much carelessness and doubt, indicate quite clearly that in the final analysis we do not real y know what we want and what we seek. There are times when it is clear, as when we do not ask today when we were asking just yesterday, that we do not real y need what we pray for. The il ness of constant change in our desires, easily understood psychological y, can affect and torment our life of prayer.
Essential changes in the way we pray come from mystical experiences, divine breezes, subtle whispers of the Holy Spirit in humble, peaceful and understanding hearts. As our hearts improve, so does our attitude in prayer. St. John Chrysostom asks rhetorical questions and provides answers which summarize the matter wel:
“Are you in a state of calmness and serenity? Then, beseech the Lord to make more permanent this joy in your heart. Are you troubled by the onslaught of tribulations and temptations? Beseech the Lord to calm the storm in your life. Has your prayer been hear? Thank God. Have you not been heard? Persist in your prayer until you are heard.”
To thank God for pleasant things that come our way is natural. But to be able to thank God even for the unpleasant events that happen in our life is remarkable, and when this real y happens in our lives, we truly bring delight to God – and shame to the devil. Sorrow changes to spiritual joy. No one is more holy than the person who can be grateful to God in his suffering.
St. John of the Ladder says that effective prayer is characterized by two main elements: sincere thanksgiving and contrite confession. He clearly tel s us that our requests in prayer are sometimes not fulfil ed for one of the following reasons. We may be asking before the appropriate time, we may not be worthy, or we may be seeking out of a sense of vainglory. Another possible reason is that, if we do receive what we pray for, we may fal into sin of pride. Also, having received what we ask, we may fal into the other sin of negligence.