Take It to the Next Level
After about two months and a couple of trips to Baltimore on the Megabus for me, and a couple of trips to New York for Patrick, we were tired. Tired of the marathon weekends; we wouldn’t get a lot of time to spend together so when we did we would spend the whole day together. In order to please God with our relationship and maintain our purity we made sure to spend a lot of time outside or with friends; rarely were we ever alone together. We love God first before ourselves, and doing it God’s way allowed us to get to know each other on such a deeper level. We honestly just had a ton of fun together watching movies, dancing, going to the mall, on double dates, at games, attending church, etc. I developed really great relationships with some of the women in the church in Baltimore. I stayed with my sisters in the church, then Patrick would come to pick me up in the morning and our marathon day would start. Every time the weekend was over, it was hard. It got harder and harder and I fell more in love with Patrick and the church. On one particular date, I knew he was getting serious about our relationship - I just sensed it.
At the time, I was serving in the teen ministry. On the weekends, the teens knew that sometimes I would be in Baltimore visiting Patrick. They pretty much knew that one day I might be moving there. The teens were hip to the game. I had really great friendships with the girls in the ministry. Some of them were just starting to develop their own relationships with God. I was blessed to be able to watch.
3/10/13
I can’t stop crying I miss Pat so much already. God, idk how much longer I can stay away from him. I’ve never cried so much leaving him before. Idk what’s wrong with me. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him. He’s my other half. God you did your thing and I’m grateful but God move me please!!!! I just want to hold him forever. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I’m crying so much I can barely see. Every time he leaves it gets harder. Why God? God do not delay show me your will….
After a couple more months, Patrick and I believed it was time for me to move. I had to really count the cost in this. My whole life was in New York. I had grown up in the NYC church, literally. Members there knew when my mom was pregnant with me and when I was born; they knew me as a teenager and now as a single woman. My life was deeply rooted in NY to say the least. I had never really had any other place to call home. Sure, I lived abroad for five months and lived in New Jersey for two, but it was never home.
Now I was deciding that it was time to move on. Don’t get me wrong though, I had never wanted to stay in New York; I had always wanted to eventually leave. On the one hand it would be sad to leave the people I loved, but on the other hand I had to do what was best for me. I was only going to be a little over three hours away anyway.