Table of Contents
P ART 1. YOUTH................................................................................................................ 6
1. Illinoisans in Alabama ............................................................................................ 6
2. A child is born......................................................................................................... 8
3. Vegas Vic .............................................................................................................. 11
PART 2. GOVERNOR....................................................................................................... 17
4. Moses and Aaron meet the Governor ................................................................... 17
5. The firstborn.......................................................................................................... 29
6. At the Mississippi River ........................................................................................ 32
PART 3. MISSION............................................................................................................ 37
7. Where to eat .......................................................................................................... 37
8. Hoover Dam.......................................................................................................... 41
9. Jethro advises Moses ............................................................................................ 42
PART 4. VIC ................................................................................................................... 44
10. Illinoisans in Las Vegas ...................................................................................... 44
11. Ten Laws ............................................................................................................. 47
12. Aaron falls into trouble....................................................................................... 51
PART 5. WANDERING..................................................................................................... 55
13. An unapproved broadcast ................................................................................... 55
14. Miriam................................................................................................................. 58
15. Spying on Illinois ................................................................................................ 60
16. Dathan and the Young Broadcasters .................................................................. 65
17. Meribah Saloon................................................................................................... 68
18. Heading to Missouri ........................................................................................... 70
PART 6. CONQUEST........................................................................................................ 72
19. Crossing through Oklahoma City ....................................................................... 72
20. Governor Balak and Hillbilly Balaam................................................................ 75
21. Prostitutes ........................................................................................................... 81
22. Texarkanans – distant relatives .......................................................................... 85
23. Going to Kansas.................................................................................................. 87
PART 7. GOAL................................................................................................................ 89
24. Moses reflects...................................................................................................... 89
25. Gateway to the east............................................................................................. 92
26. Joshua ................................................................................................................. 95
27. In Illinois........................................................................................................... 100
1. Illinoisans in Alabama
The Illinoisans came into Alabama,1 increased in numbers and grew strong.
The state was covered with them.2
During this time, a new Governor of Alabama was elected.3 He told the citizens, “There are more Illinoisans than us, and they’re stronger than us.4 Let’s deal wisely with them, or they’ll keep overpopulating. Then, they might riot and destroy us.”5
So, the Alabamans put foremen over the Illinoisans. The Illinoisans did backbreaking work, such as construct the Confederate White House and the State Capitol Building in Montgomery, Alabama.6
But the more the Alabamans subjected the Illinoisans, the more Illinoisans multiplied and expanded.7 The Alabamans ruthlessly made the Illinoisans struggle for low wages.8 Illinoisans cleaned up after Alabamans, picked cotton, maintained the public systems, and so forth.9
The Governor spoke to the Illinoisan nurses. Two of them were Shiphrah and Puah.10 He said, “When you help pregnant Illinoisans, and they deliver, if it’s a son, you will exterminate him. If it is a daughter, she will live.”11
But the nurses feared God, so they didn’t do what the Governor commanded.121 02 Exo 01:01 Now these are the names of the children of Israel, which came into Egypt; every man and his household came with Jacob.
2 02 Exo 01:07 And the children of Israel were fruitful, and increased abundantly, and multiplied, and waxed exceeding mighty; and the land was filled with them.
3 02 Exo 01:08 Now there arose up a new king over Egypt, which knew not Joseph.
4 02 Exo 01:09 And he said unto his people, Behold, the people of the children of Israel are more and mightier than we:
5 02 Exo 01:10 Come on, let us deal wisely with them; lest they multiply, and it come to pass, that, when there falleth out any war, they join also unto our enemies, and fight against us, and so get them up out of the land.
6 02 Exo 01:11 Therefore they did set over them taskmasters to afflict them with their burdens. And they built for Pharaoh treasure cities, Pithom and Raamses.
7 02 Exo 01:12 But the more they afflicted them, the more they multiplied and grew. And they were grieved because of the children of Israel.
8 02 Exo 01:13 And the Egyptians made the children of Israel to serve with rigour:
9 02 Exo 01:14 And they made their lives bitter with hard bondage, in morter, and in brick, and in all manner of service in the field: all their service, wherein they made them serve, was with rigour.
10 02 Exo 01:15 And the king of Egypt spake to the Hebrew midwives, of which the name of the one was Shiphrah, and the name of the other Puah:
11 02 Exo 01:16 And he said, When ye do the office of a midwife to the Hebrew women, and see them upon the stools; if it be a son, then ye shall kill him: but if it be a daughter, then she shall live.
12 02 Exo 01:17 But the midwives feared God, and did not as the king of Egypt commanded them, but saved the men children alive.
God looked favorably on the nurses. The Illinoisans multiplied and became even stronger.15 Because the nurses feared God, he let them have husbands and children.16
The Governor told all his citizens, “You will eliminate every son of Illinois, and you will let every daughter live.”1713 02 Exo 01:18 And the king of Egypt called for the midwives, and said unto them, Why have ye done this thing, and have saved the men children alive?
14 02 Exo 01:19 And the midwives said unto Pharaoh, Because the Hebrew women are not as the Egyptian women; for they are lively, and are delivered ere the midwives come in unto them.
15 02 Exo 01:20 Therefore God dealt well with the midwives: and the people multiplied, and waxed very mighty.
16 02 Exo 01:21 And it came to pass, because the midwives feared God, that he made them houses.
17 02 Exo 01:22 And Pharaoh charged all his people, saying, Every son that is born ye shall cast into the river, and every daughter ye shall save alive.
2. A child is born
One of Levi’s men married Levi’s daughter.1 The woman conceived, and on
January 15, 1929, she gave birth to a son. She saw he was a good baby, so she
concealed him three months.2
When she couldn’t keep hiding the baby, she took a basket and covered it with a blanket. She put the child in the basket, and she left it on the third floor of a private hospital in Montgomery, Alabama (the state capital).3 The baby’s older sister stood far off from the basket in order to see what would happen to her brother.4
That day, the Governor’s daughter went to the hospital’s third floor for a seltzer bath. She saw the basket in the corner and sent her assistant to get it.5 She opened it, saw the baby, and he cried. She had compassion on him and said, “This is a child of Illinois.”6
The baby’s sister came up to the Governor’s daughter and said, “Should I ask one of the Illinoisan women to nurse the baby for you?”7The Governor’s daughter said, “Yes.”
The sister found a payphone and called her mother.8 The Governor’s daughter got on the line and said, “Take this child, nurse him for me, and I will pay you.”
The mother took her baby and nursed it.9 The baby became a toddler, and the mother brought him to the Governor’s daughter. He became the Governor’s grandson.
The daughter called him Moses, because, she said, “I retrieved him from the hospital.”101 02 Exo 02:01 And there went a man of the house of Levi, and took to wife a daughter of Levi.
2 02 Exo 02:02 And the woman conceived, and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months.
3 02 Exo 02:03 And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river’s brink.
4 02 Exo 02:04 And his sister stood afar off, to wit what would be done to him.
5 02 Exo 02:05 And the daughter of Pharaoh came down to wash herself at the river; and her maidens walked along by the river’s side; and when she saw the ark among the flags, she sent her maid to fetch it.
6 02 Exo 02:06 And when she had opened it, she saw the child: and, behold, the babe wept. And she had compassion on him, and said, This is one of the Hebrews’ children.
7 02 Exo 02:07 Then said his sister to Pharaoh’s daughter, Shall I go and call to thee a nurse of the Hebrew women, that she may nurse the child for thee?
8 02 Exo 02:08 And Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, Go. And the maid went and called the child’s mother.
9 02 Exo 02:09 And Pharaoh’s daughter said unto her, Take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give thee thy wages. And the woman took the child, and nursed it.
10 02 Exo 02:10 And the child grew, and she brought him unto Pharaoh’s daughter, and he became her son. And she called his name Moses: and she said, Because I drew him out of the water.
Illinoisan with a hammer.11 Moses looked this way and that way, and when he 12saw that there was no one, he killed the Alabaman and hid him in a railroad car.
The next day, Moses went out to the rail yard again, and two Illinoisan men were punching each other. Moses said to one fellow, “Why are you hitting this man?”13
The fellow replied, “Who made you the police over us? Are you going to kill me like you did the Alabaman?”Moses was afraid. He thought, “Everyone knows about this.”14
When the Governor heard about the death, he wanted to murder Moses. So, Moses escaped from Alabama.
He drove to Arizona, and he parked at a service station.15 In Phoenix, Arizona, a broadcaster named Jethro had seven daughters. The daughters came to the service station and began to fill their tanks.16 But there was a gasoline shortage, and the other drivers began to run the daughters off. Moses helped the daughters, and then he filled up their tanks.17
When the daughters returned to Phoenix, Jethro asked them, “Why did you come back so soon?”18They replied, “An Alabaman saved us from those jerk drivers. Then he filled up our tanks and drove us back.”19
11 02 Exo 02:11 And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Egyptian smiting an Hebrew, one of his brethren.
12 02 Exo 02:12 And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand.
13 02 Exo 02:13 And when he went out the second day, behold, two men of the Hebrews strove together: and he said to him that did the wrong, Wherefore smitest thou thy fellow?
14 02 Exo 02:14 And he said, Who made thee a prince and a judge over us? intendest thou to kill me, as thou killedst the Egyptian? And Moses feared, and said, Surely this thing is known.
15 02 Exo 02:15 Now when Pharaoh heard this thing, he sought to slay Moses. But Moses fled from the face of Pharaoh, and dwelt in the land of Midian: and he sat down by a well.
16 02 Exo 02:16 Now the priest of Midian had seven daughters: and they came and drew water, and filled the troughs to water their father’s flock.
17 02 Exo 02:17 And the shepherds came and drove them away: but Moses stood up and helped them, and watered their flock.
18 02 Exo 02:18 And when they came to Reuel their father, he said, How is it that ye are come so soon to day?
19 02 Exo 02:19 And they said, An Egyptian delivered us out of the hand of the shepherds, and also drew water enough for us, and watered the flock.
Moses was glad to stay with the broadcaster’s family. Jethro allowed Moses to marry Zipporah, Jethro’s daughter.21
She had a son, and Moses named him Gershom, because, Moses said, “I live as a stranger in a different state.”22
In the following days, the Governor died. Illinoisans cried to God because of the oppression.23 God heard them, and God remembered his agreement with their forefathers, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.24 God was worried about the Illinoisans.25
20 02 Exo 02:20 And he said unto his daughters, And where is he? why is it that ye have left the man? call him, that he may eat bread.
21 02 Exo 02:21 And Moses was content to dwell with the man: and he gave Moses Zipporah his daughter.
22 02 Exo 02:22 And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.
23 02 Exo 02:23 And it came to pass in process of time, that the king of Egypt died: and the children of Israel sighed by reason of the bondage, and they cried, and their cry came up unto God by reason of the bondage.
24 02 Exo 02:24 And God heard their groaning, and God remembered his covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob.
25 02 Exo 02:25 And God looked upon the children of Israel, and God had respect unto them.
Moses was managing a fleet of trucks for Jethro. Moses led the fleet through the desert and came to Las Vegas. In the neon lights downtown, Moses saw the Pioneer Club Casino – and the four stories tall Vegas Vic cowboy neon sign.1 God appeared to Moses as Vic. The sign glowed like fire but didn’t short out.2
Moses thought, “I’ll climb the fire escape and see this sign.”3God stood as Vegas Vic, and he saw Moses climbing the fire escape landing. “Moses! Moses!” the neon cowboy said.
Moses replied, “Here I am.”4
God said, “Don’t come close. Take your shoes off, because you are standing in a holy place.5 I am the God of your father, and of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.”
Moses looked down, because he was afraid to see God.6
God said, “I have seen the oppression of my children in Alabama. I have heard their cry because of that government, and I know their sorrows.7 I have come down to deliver them from the Alabamans. I will bring them out of Alabama to a better state – one with the richest soil in the world. This is the state of the Chicagoans, Springfielders, Rockfordites, Altonians, and Penfielders.8 Be with me, and I will send you to the Governor, so you can take my people – the Illinoisans – out of Alabama.”9
Moses asked, “Who am I, that I can go to the Governor, and I can take the Illinoisans out of Alabama?”101 02 Exo 03:01 Now Moses kept the flock of Jethro his father in law, the priest of Midian: and he led the flock to the backside of the desert, and came to the mountain of God, even to Horeb.
2 02 Exo 03:02 And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.
3 02 Exo 03:03 And Moses said, I will now turn aside, and see this great sight, why the bush is not burnt.
4 02 Exo 03:04 And when the LORD saw that he turned aside to see, God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses, Moses. And he said, Here am I.
5 02 Exo 03:05 And he said, Draw not nigh hither: put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground.
6 02 Exo 03:06 Moreover he said, I am the God of thy father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob. And Moses hid his face; for he was afraid to look upon God.
7 02 Exo 03:07 And the LORD said, I have surely seen the affliction of my people which are in Egypt, and have heard their cry by reason of their taskmasters; for I know their sorrows;
8 02 Exo 03:08 And I am come down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians, and to bring them up out of that land unto a good land and a large, unto a land flowing with milk and honey; unto the place of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the
9 02 Exo 03:10 Come now therefore, and I will send thee unto Pharaoh, that thou mayest bring forth my people the children of Israel out of Egypt.
10 02 Exo 03:11 And Moses said unto God, Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?
God replied, “Of course, I will be with you. Vegas Vic will be the sign that I have sent you. When you bring the Illinoisans out of Alabama, you will serve God from this sign.”11
Moses asked, “When I tell the Illinoisans, ‘The God of your forefathers has sent me to you,’ they will ask me, ‘What is his name?’ What should I tell them?”12
God said, “I am who I am. Tell the Illinoisans this:‘I am has sent me to you.13 Yahweh, the God of your forefathers, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, has sent me to you.’
“This is my name forever, and this is my memorial to all generations.14 I will bring you out of Alabama to Illinois – a state with large groups of racists – but one that also has the richest soil in the world.15
“They will listen to your voice, and you will go – you and the Illinois religious leaders – to the Governor. You will tell him:‘Yahweh, the God of the Illinoisans, has met with us. Now, please let us drive three days’ journey to Las Vegas, so we can worship.’16
11 02 Exo 03:12 And he said, Certainly I will be with thee; and this shall be a token unto thee, that I have sent thee: When thou hast brought forth the people out of Egypt, ye shall serve God upon this mountain.
12 02 Exo 03:13 And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them?
13 02 Exo 03:14 And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.
14 02 Exo 03:15 And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, The LORD God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath sent me unto you: this is my name for ever, and this is my memorial unto all
15 02 Exo 03:17 And I have said, I will bring you up out of the affliction of Egypt unto the land of the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Amorites, and the Perizzites, and the Hivites, and the Jebusites, unto a land flowing with milk and honey.
16 02 Exo 03:18 And they shall hearken to thy voice: and thou shalt come, thou and the elders of Israel, unto the king of Egypt, and ye shall say unto him, The LORD God of the Hebrews hath met with us: and now let us go, we beseech thee, three days’ journey into the wild
“I know that the Governor won’t give you permission to go.17 So, I will put out my hand and strike Alabama with all my wonders, and after that he will let you go.18 I will give the Illinoisans favor in full view of the Alabamans, and you won’t leave empty-handed.19 Every woman will ask her neighbor for their bank accounts, shares of stock, and gold. You will invest for your sons and daughters. You will take the wealth from the Alabamans.”20
Moses replied, “But, the Illinoisans won’t believe me or listen to me. They’ll say, ‘Yahweh hasn’t appeared to you.’”21God asked him, “What is that in your hand?”
Moses replied, “An umbrella.”22
God said, “Throw it on the metal grating.”
Moses threw the umbrella down, and it became a machine gun. Moses jumped back from it.23
God said, “Put out your hand, and take the umbrella by the end.”
Moses took it, and it became an umbrella in his hand again.24
God said, “With that, they may believe that I appeared to you.25 Now, put your hand inside your jacket.”
Moses did so, and when he took it out, his hand was mechanical – like a robot’s.26
17 02 Exo 03:19 And I am sure that the king of Egypt will not let you go, no, not by a mighty hand.
18 02 Exo 03:20 And I will stretch out my hand, and smite Egypt with all my wonders which I will do in the midst thereof: and after that he will let you go.
19 02