Guilt based Personalities
In the first six years of our lives the trunk of our character is formed, this is shaped primarily by those whom cared for us over those years. Be it Parents, Foster parents, Adoptive parents, extended family etc.. If we have received wounds by our primary carers it stands to reason they would have the biggest affect on our character and personality. I t also stands to reason that if there are blockages and conflict in relationships (with self, others and God) these areas are where we should be asking God to help us heal and find the freedom to love as He does.
For a lot of people the question is “Why ”, why did they not love me?, Why did they leave me?, why did they abuse me?. When these questions are being asked in ones heart, we are basically saying, “Is it me?” or, “Is it them?”, a child cannot really settle this. There is a conflict of feelings because there is love and dependance for and on the one/s that were supposed to care for us. Children mostly internalize parental conflict and abuse, they feel unfairness and injustice readily, but it is the thinking behind this that determines whether one mainly blames others (externalizes) or blames themselves (internalizes).
If we are a logically based sort of person we can perceive 'others' (primary caregivers that have wounded us) as the problem more easily as a child (the environment is unsafe, others are the problem). I f we are more emotionally based as a child we will internalize the hurts and trauma's more and self blame (the environment is unsafe, I must be the problem).
First borns are classic guilt carrier type personalities, they feel a lot more weight and responsibility weighing on their shoulders. They are closer to parents initially before siblings come along and usually have a lot more expected of them, academically, responsibilities wise and in respecting others and self. They are usually disciplined more harshly and through this tend to be more harsher on themselves. They can feel major guilt and have