Blue Berets or Blue Helmets are the names often used in reference to the United Nations Peacekeeping force due to their light blue berets or helmets which they wear. Their role is to help countries to walk the difficult path from conflict to peace. The Blue berets are made up of soldiers, police and civilians from various countries. One successful case of their peacekeeping mission was in Sierra Leone where they operated from 1999 to 2005. The UN peacekeepers managed to disarm 75,000 ex-fighters including hundreds of child soldiers and destroyed more than 42,000 weapons and 1.2 million rounds of ammunition.
As children of God, we are supposed to be peacekeepers, not necessarily in the sense of joining the UN peacekeeping force but in a much broader sense.
In one of His beatitudes, Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God.” (Matthew 5:9). Many usually consider blessings in the material context, they think someone is blessed when they have physical wealth. However, not everything expensive and physical is a blessing, some of these things are a burden to the owner. Among the list of blessings which Jesus taught on the sermon on the mount, there is a blessing of being called a son of God which is given to those who are peacemakers. Though we are in a war, we only fight against the enemy – the devil and his works – but we maintain peace with our fellows (humans). Nevertheless, it is unavoidable that sometimes we might offend each other as people, though that should never be deliberate. Having done each other wrong, we need to make peace, we need to seek forgiveness or grant it, whichever is applicable.
In this chapter, we will consider passages from the Bible relating to two brothers: Jacob and Esau, and from them we will draw lessons on how to make peace by either apologizing for a wrong done or forgiving a wrongdoer.
Forgiveness is whereby when someone wrongs you and you decide not to charge them for their wrong, nor punish them, nor hold a grudge against that person. You waive any negative feeling towards that person who has done you wrong.
The Split
Esau and Jacob where twin brothers born to Isaac and his wife Rebekah. Before they were born, The Lord gave a prophecy to Rebekah with regards to her unborn children that the older shall serve the younger (Genesis 25:23). In Genesis the 27th chapter, the time came when Isaac wanted to bless Esau the older brother, so he sent him to the field to hunt game and make him savoury food that he may eat before he blesses him. On the other hand, when Rebekah heard this, she came up with a strategy of making Jacob pretend to be his brother and steal the blessings due to Esau. She wanted to fulfil God’s prophecy that the older shall serve the younger in her own way. There is a danger when we think that God cannot fulfil His word and we try to come up with our shortcuts to bring about what God had promised. We should not doubt God with regards to fulfilling His promises, otherwise, we end up trying to fulfil those promises in our ways.
Jacob stole the identity of his brother and went on to receive blessings from their Father Isaac, blessings which Isaac wanted to bestow on Esau. When Esau became aware of this fraud which was done against him, he hated his young brother Jacob and said in his heart "The days of mourning for my father are at hand; then I will kill my brother Jacob." (Genesis 27:41).
Esau wanted revenge, he wanted to murder Jacob but was waiting for an opportune time when their father is dead and the days of mourning are over. There are many today who are plotting revenge against those who harmed them but let it be clear with regards to what the Bible has to say concerning this issue.
Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay," says the Lord. Therefore "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Romans 12:19-21
It is not our duty to plot or wish harm on anyone who did us wrong, revenge is the prerogative of God. If you take it to be your responsibility to retaliate against those who did you wrong, then what you are indirectly implying is that you are making yourself God, because it is Him alone who has the right to execute revenge.
The words of plotting revenge by Esau, although he spoke them in his heart, they came to the ears of Rebekah. If the evil plots uttered in the heart could reach the ears of another human being, surely they are very loud and audible in the ears of God. Don’t even entertain thoughts of revenge in your heart, for God will know of it. Rebekah being aware of what Esau had planned informed Jacob about this plot and told him to flee to Laban’s place in Haran. Jacob obeyed and ran away and there was the split, the two brothers were now divided.
Making amends
It might appear to have been a good idea for Jacob to flee from Esau at that time but running away from problems is not the best way to solve them. One day your problems will catch up with you, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. About twenty years later as Jacob made his way back to Canaan, he made plans to be reconciled with his brother. We need to come to a point where we make peace with those whom we have wronged.
“Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord” Hebrews 12:14
Issues have to be resolved, don’t just ignore them and pretend that because it’s been a long time since you wronged that person, so it’s now water under the bridge. Twenty years later, Jacob knew that he had to pursue peace with his brother. No matter how long it has been since there was a disagreement between you and someone, you need to make peace with them.
“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First, be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24
Jesus is so serious about His people being in peace with each other to such an extent that He tells us to first be reconciled with our fellows before we offer gifts to God. So many times we just give gifts to God even though we are fully aware that we are not at peace with our brothers and sisters. We think that the gift will act as a bribe to silence God and He will ignore how bad we treated our fellows. It doesn't work that way, be reconciled to your fellows first.
Start making amends to be reconciled with those whom you wronged. Jacob made plans to meet Esau on the 32nd chapter of Genesis.
Get others involved
The last time when Jacob and Esau where at the same place, the latter wanted to kill the former, so certainly you would expect an explosive encounter when these two were to meet again. Jacob knew very well that this meet up he was planning with Esau can turn out bad. To avoid a negative encounter, he first sent an advance team of his messengers to meet with Esau to warm him up to a positive reunion.
Jacob could not leave anything to chance, he gave his messengers exact words to say to Esau lest they may be reckless in speech and add salt to injury (Genesis 32:3-5).
Some people whom you did wrong may be so bitter that a meeting with them can cause a violent outcome, so what should you do? Get others involved to act as pacifiers.
"Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that "by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.' And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17
If dialogue fails between just the two of you, don’t call it quits yet. Get someone else involved, a neutral party whose aim is to reconcile the two of you. If that fails, don’t call it quits yet, call the church to intervene. If (s)he refuses to make peace with you then you are no longer at fault. God will consider you to have done your part in pursuing peace and you are now exonerated. If you are the other party who is maintaining a hard stance in refusing to make peace even when others have been involved as well as the church, then just know that even God Himself will not forgive you your sins (Matthew 6:14-15).
It’s not always best to involve third parties when you have not made any effort alone to reconcile with the person whom you have issues with. Some matters don’t need to be exposed to third parties. Where possible try a one-on-one talk with the other person if it fails then engage the help of others.
Humble yourself
It takes humility for one to acknowledge that they were wrong and apologise. Saying sorry doesn’t mean that you are weak but it shows that you are strong. The proud person feels no need to apologise, but the humble ones see it as a must.
"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." James 4:6
Jacob as he sent his messengers, he commanded them, saying, "Speak thus to my lord Esau, "Thus your servant Jacob says: "I have dwelt with Laban and stayed there until now. I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, and male and female servants; and I have sent to tell my lord, that I may find favor in your sight." (Genesis 32:4-5). Jacob is now referring to Esau as his Lord and he considers himself as his servant, he is humbling himself like the prodigal son who planned to say to his father; “I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants."
If there was one person who had every reason to be proud was Jacob. He had a prophecy from God that Esau was to serve him, he had acquired great wealth, he had a big family, he even met with angels of God (Genesis 32:1). He needed nothing (material) from Esau but he understood that there was something so precious which Esau can give him which is forgiveness. No matter how mighty and great you are as compared to the one whom you offended, be humble enough to go and make peace with that person.
Let me take it to the other end, even when it’s you who has been wronged and the offender is not forthcoming to apologise, be humble and go and make peace with that person. It sounds crazy, doesn't it? You are the one who has been wronged, the offender has not apologised nor does (s)he acknowledge doing you wrong, why should you be the one who goes to him or her to make peace? But that’s what God expects you to do. Be the one who stretches out his or her hand to reach out to the other person.
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
Jesus died for us before we repented, before we asked for forgiveness, he reached out to us. We need to do the same to others. Jesus as He was being crucified, his tormentors didn’t even ask for forgiveness but He prayed for them: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do." (Luke 23:34). It takes humility to pray sincerely to God asking for forgiveness for those who wronged you even when they haven’t asked for your forgiveness.
Some people are so proud and they will never come to say that they are sorry, but you are the one who is called by Christ to humility. Be the one who takes the first step towards making peace. Do it for your salvation and in that way the other person can be drawn to learn of Jesus from your humbleness.
Give others a chance
The messengers returned to Jacob and told him that Esau was coming to meet him with four hundred men (Genesis 32:6). Esau was actually going to make an effort to meet with Jacob, the brother who stole his identity and blessings. You would have expected him to say NO, I don't want to talk to you because you did me wrong, but he was willing to give Jacob a chance to meet with him. Let us give others a chance to make peace with us whenever we see them making an effort to do so. The idea of ignoring their calls, or blocking their contacts is not right. Give them a chance and hear what they have to say.
When Jesus taught His disciples how to pray on Matthew 6:9-13, of all the things contained in that prayer, the only thing He explained afterwards was the issue of forgiveness. This shows how important and well connected to prayer this issue is. In the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus teaches us to say “… forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors…”. Do we mean it when we say these words, are we forgiving others?
Then after the prayer, He goes on to explain “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15). God copies from you how you forgive others so that He may forgive you too. If you don’t forgive those who did you wrong, then God also does not forgive you, but if you forgive, He also forgives you.
Fear Not
Wait a minute, the Bible said Esau was coming to meet with Jacob with an entourage of four hundred men, what are these men for? Could it be an army which he had mobilised to fight his brother? By the way, the messengers didn't come back with any response from Esau with regards to the message which was sent to him other than the news that Esau was coming with four hundred men. Probably Esau was not coming to make peace but to fight. With that in mind, Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed. To prevent or reduce any loss which might happen on this encounter, he divided the people who were with him into two groups, not for a fight but flight (Genesis 32:7-8).
In most cases we are so afraid to make peace with others because we are scared of them, we are scared that they might harm us or even take advantage of us. But remember God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).
What was done was already done, you cannot change the past but you can take charge of the present and the future. You did wrong in the past and but it’s now time to make amends, stop being scared. Satan will give you all sort of imaginations to make you scared of making peace with someone but you need to find strength in the Lord to soldier on despite all obstacles.
Pray about it
Jacob was scared, but his fear did not stop him from praying but drove him to prayer. Let not fear stop you from seeking God in prayer. He prayed asking for God to deliver him from the hand of his brother (Genesis 32:9-12).
Before asking for forgiveness from a person, first pray to God that He softens the heart of that person. Pray that God gives you the correct words and attitude when you offer your apologies. Pray asking God to remove any feelings of revenge which that person might be having. When God gets involved, that which could have been hard and impossible becomes easy and possible.
Even when you are the one who is supposed to forgive a