It's time to get the groove back by Adewale Adesoye - HTML preview

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Conclusion

W

ork on sexual satisfaction in your home. If one partner is more satisfied than the other all the time, there might be a problem. Talk with your spouse about his or her sexual desires time after time, and make sure you are on the same page at least 90% of the time. As much as I advise couples to have sex every single day or at worst, every other day, it is also important for you to know that the quality of sex is as important as the quantity of sex. Everyone is different, and we cannot all be the same way, so it is important for you to talk about what you enjoy and what you don’t enjoy. Learn to explore your bodies together; you will be surprised at how much you are yet to discover about your spouse's body. I always advise couples to go on a body adventure, explore each other's bodies and ask questions at all times. Never assume he/she would like it exactly the same way your ex-lover did.

I will not conclude this book without talking about God’s design for marriage. God is the marriage maker from the beginning, so we should let God teach us. His design for marriage is two people coming together to become one. The new living translation of Ephesians 5:31 says, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." It’s God’s master plan. If two people are joined to be one, it simply means married couples should see themselves as one. I have always heard this scripture since I was a kid but it never really came to the full understanding until a while ago. Do you know what it means?

  1. It means that if a man is engaged in physical abuse of his spouse, he is actually fighting against himself and vice versa. Can you imagine fighting against yourself? You will not be able to move forward in life or have a direction for your life because you are inflicting pain upon yourself.
  2. It means that if a man or woman is engaged in insulting words upon his/her spouse, he/she is actually insulting himself because both of you are one. For instance, if I say my wife is a big fool, then I am also directly saying that I am a big fool because we are one.
  3. It means that if you don’t show love to your spouse, then you are directly not showing love to yourself without knowing.

That is why many homes are in crisis today because they have forgotten about the real meaning and understanding of marriage. Two have become one.

Like I said earlier in the book, take your spouse on a date once a month and go with 2 sheets of paper and 2 pens. After the wonderful meal, both of you should secretly write two or three things that you want to improve in your marriage. Write what you want your husband or wife to do to you and exchange sheets. Both of you will then discuss and agree to do what the other partner wants you to do. If you love your spouse and want a great marriage, you would definitely work on those things. I advise couples to do this at least once a month or once every quarter. This will definitely improve your marriage.

I also advise couples to spend at least 2 hours every single day, locked up in the room, just the 2 of you. Not the time to take a quick nap or rest. It is time to connect, unwind, cuddle, kiss, and make love. Lay in each other's arms during this private time together every day. If you have little kids, you can reduce the time, but make sure you connect one-on-one every single day. Remember that lack of good and quality communication can create a whole lot of misunderstandings and confusion. Spouses don't talk anymore. They prefer spending more time on their computers, games, TV or hanging out with other friends. You have to create time for each other every single day. At least 2 hours indoor, with no disturbance and nobody sleeping within the allotted time. Just talk and play and have sex. It is also important that you begin every day with a few minutes of cuddling and snuggling before you get out of bed, this will increase the connection you have with your spouse.

Finally, I want to give you one advice I got from Pastor Creflo Dollar that has totally changed my life. He says to the husband, "How your wife treats you is none of your business, your business should be how you treat your wife." And to the wife, "How your husband treats you should be none of your business, your business should be how you treat your husband." In my opinion, this is the key to having a wonderful home and a wonderful sexual life with your spouse. Wake up every day and let your goal be to pleasure your partner, irrespective of how they act or treat you. This is a super cure to all marital problems and challenges.

Find out what your partner needs, and give it to him/her unconditionally. You now have a business to attend to. This business is greater than your regular job. This business is to please your spouse unconditionally; to treat each other with love and respect. Always remember that a negative reaction to your spouse can shame him or her, and might not want to make advances anymore. Do many things to surprise him/her and always say nice things.

Another thing you must never do is to deprive your partner. Do not deprive your spouse for any reason. If you don't feel like having sex, say it politely and schedule sometime the next day. It has to be a mutual acceptance. Someone once said, "If you go on a diet, all you think about is food, food, and food, same goes with sex. If you are ever deprived of sex, all you will be thinking about is sex, sex, and sex". A deprived man or woman will go out searching for it outside the matrimonial home.

The word of God says to the married in Ephesians 5:21 that we should submit to one another. We are to submit to each other and not deprive ourselves. The main aim of this book is to get couples back to the bedroom and start having regular sex. When I say regular sex, I mean EVERYDAY SEX. At worst, every other day. Don't you ever let two days go by without having sex, unless the other partner is sick or the wife is on her monthly cycle. God gave us sex for pleasure and procreation, that's why he puts that attraction in us.

Many couples think they don't need marital counselling. They believe that they can make it work on their own. You see teenagers that don't know anything about marriage getting married. In many cases, it’s not about the age, because you even see people in their thirties and forties behaving like teenagers. Virtually, everyone thinks they know about marriage, just walk up to the street and ask any random person what they have to say about a good marriage and you will see them come up with a list of dos and don’ts of marriage. If we all know, then why are there so many divorce cases and so many people drowning in their marriages?

Knowledge is power. The more you know, the better you will be. Not all the richest people in the world today are smarter than you. You are probably smarter than a lot of them, but they have an advantage over you. They have information that you don't have, and they know something that you don't know. That's why we see a high school drop-out richer than a professor. The same goes for marriage, the more information you have, the better your home will be. What kind of information, you may ask? Many people get their information from all the soap operas shown on TV. Wrong move. You are getting information from people that are not even married or people that have a rocky relationship. It's time to go for the right information. My advice is to seek the services from a spiritual, qualified, tested and trusted marriage counselor. You can also visit our website for more information and resources (www.getthegrooveback.com).

Take note of all the sex killers in this book and follow them unconditionally. You cannot do all these things and not have a better union. I want to know your results, so please drop a comment on my website at www.getthegrooveback.com or send me an email at getthegrooveback@gmail.com. I really want to know how things are going on in your marriage, and also want to know the results after practicing everything I have shared with you in this book. It’s time to get the groove back.

 

CONGRATULATIONS !!!!!!!!!!!