It's time to get the groove back by Adewale Adesoye - HTML preview

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Chapter Six

A force of Attraction

I

remember when I was growing up, I was more attracted to ladies that had smiles on their faces. Friendly and happy people always have people attracted to them. Just like ants are attracted to sugar, that's how joyful and happy people enjoy attraction. The Bible also says in Proverbs 15:30 "A cheerful look brings joy to the heart...." You can't enjoy life going about with a frown on your face and looking sad all the time. A sad and gloomy face is a turn off most of the time. Statistics have also shown that people with joyful and happy smiles tend to get married quicker than those who frown or always look sad. A lot of people exert a lot of high energy and excitement at work and just keep a normal or gloomy face at home with their spouse. Some people are even happier with their pets than they are with their spouses.

Someone once said that a smile is the prettiest thing you can wear. This is so true because the look on your face determines if you are approachable or not. Your spouse will not get closer to you if he always sees a frown on your face. It is a sex killer, and you will never achieve anything positive with a gloomy face. A smile is positive energy to the environment and also your spouse. Not a lot of people will feel encouraged to make love to a sad person or someone always wearing a frowning face. Someone once told me, “I find it very hard to make love to my wife because she is always looking very sad and unhappy all the time, even when everything is going on fine.” Although I didn’t hear from his wife to know exactly why she was not always looking happy, I will always advise couples to force a smile out at all times.

They say that it takes about twice as much more muscles to frown than it takes to smile. And a Chinese proverb says, "Every smile makes you a day younger." Life is always better with a smile on your face. A happy face will attract your spouse to you most of the time. We must always work at it because it might be the reason for sexual rejection.

I know it is quite difficult to smile under some certain circumstances in the home. Also, it is very difficult to be happy in a marriage broken by infidelity and many other marital problems. I know it is hard and difficult to handle, but you have to make it work if you have decided to remain in that marriage. Forgiveness is necessary if you want to have a wonderful sexual relationship with your spouse. Even God forgave us and keeps on forgiving us. I advise that you visit a marriage counselor in church to help you get out of that state if you are finding it difficult to cope under certain circumstances.

Humor in the home is vital. Some homes are so cold and boring and the couple just keep a neutral face all day and no sense of humor. Humor relieves tension in the home and can build communication between spouses. Laughter is a stress reducer, and it stimulates the immune system. Laughter lifts the spirit in your home and brings you together. Someone once said, "It is very difficult to stay mad at a spouse that makes you laugh." Research has proven that couples with a strong sense of humor are less likely to get a divorce. It is also important to know that each of us has a unique sense of humor; hence you need to know what makes your spouse laugh. Find those things that make your partner laugh by paying attention when he/she laughs. Find those things and use them as often as possible. This is not about being a great comedian, but finding what is funny in everyday life and enjoying yourselves.

Finally, my best advice to you is to have a quality relationship with God. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG), “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me, and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep Company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly.” It works.