7. It’s Easy Being A Polygamous
It’s Abuse
You’re Nothing More Than a Pimp and Your Wives Prostitutes
People have said some nasty things to me and my wives but these two things are the ones that I can never leave behind.
Its abuse and I always say to those people exactly how do I abuse them? I don’t belittle them, I don’t hit them, and I don’t force them to have sex with me. So how do I abuse them and their answer is always the same it’s against the Bible.
As to the Pimp and Prostitute angle I’m the only person who sleeps with my wives and so how are they being prostituted?
It’s the same answer because they really have no answer as to the part of it being against the Bible, well since I said I won’t quote directly from the Bible I’ll let someone else do it for me.
http://www.ezsoftech.com/omm/polygamy.asp
And I gave thee (David) thy master's house, and thy master's 'wives' into thy bosom, and gave thee the House of Israel and of Juda." (2 Sam. 12:8)
How is it that God Himself gave him his 'master's wives' if His intention was to keep the 'one man with one woman' rule? Even in the seventh generation after Adam we find that "Lamech took unto him two wives" (Gen. 4:19); Abraham had three wives; Jacob had 2 wives besides concubines; Moses did not forbid it, instead he brought Laws to regulate it, as has been mentioned in the previous heading.
Christians try to overcome these difficulties implying that the previous prophets had made mistake in marrying more than one wife. But the insurmountable difficulty faces them in case of Moses. Because Moses had brought a Law from God, and if it was God's intention to make marriage 'an union between one man and one wife', why did He give Moses regulations about polygamy? The above-mentioned Dictionary of Bible tries to gloss over this difficulty by saying, "Moses, who was correcting abuses, not suddenly abolishing them, did not forbid polygamy, but discouraged it."
It is a claim, which cannot be justified, because Moses himself married two wives: one was Zipporah, daughter of Jethro (known in Islamic language as Shuaib), the other was a Cushite woman whom Moses married in the 2nd year of the sojourn of the Israelites in the wilderness. (Num. 12:1)
There is no mention anywhere in the scriptures or any other writing that Zipporah was not alive at that time.
So far about Moses and the Prophets before him. Now we come to the prophets who came after this 'supposed discouraging'. We find that polygamy continued to be practiced even after the time of Moses, as by Gideon, Elkanah, Saul, Rehoboam and countless others. For the details, see Judge. 8:30; I Sam. 1:2; II Sam. 12:8; 21:8.
Prophet "David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem." (11 Sam. 5:13). Prophet Solomon "had seven hundred wives, princess, and three hundred concubines." (I Kings 11:3)
Now we came to the period after the ministry of Jesus Christ, SV. Mir Ahmad Ali writes in his translation of the Holy Qur'an:
It has often been asserted that Christianity interdicted polygamy and made monogamy obligatory on all. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
Ameer Ali, speaking of the general prevalence of polygamy among all nations, remarks:
"And so it was understood by the leaders of Christendom that there is no intrinsic immorality or sinfulness in plurality of wives. One of the greatest fathers of the Christian Church (St. Augustine) has declared that polygamy is not a crime where it is a legal institution of a country, and the German reformers, even as late as the sixteenth century, allowed and declared valid the taking of a second or even a third wife, contemporaneously with the first, in default of issue, or any other cause." (Ameer Ali, Life and Teachings, p. 220, and also Ameer Ali, Mohammedan Law, Vol. II p. 23).
So tell me how it’s against the Laws of the Lord and the teachings of the Bible. As to “polygamy is not a crime where it is a legal institution of a country,” take into consideration that this is a country which once upon a time outlawed alcohol and cigarettes, a country which once said that a man and a man cannot marry. Some people still oppose this idea but who are they to judge? So for me and others like me we ask how can they support this and oppose polygamous marriages?
It’s like I said before nobody was forced into this marriage they all chose to be a part of it and personally I think that if they made it legal it would help eliminate those sects which force young girls to marry against their will. But hey that’s just my opinion.
Isa 4:1-2 And in that day seven women shall take hold of one man, saying, we will eat our own bread and wear our own clothing; only let us be called by your name, to take away our shame. In that day shall the Branch of Jehovah be beautiful and glorious, and the fruit of the earth excellent and comely for those who have escaped from Israel
Not one verse can be found in the N.T. which annuls, invalidates, abrogates, reverses or contradicts any of God's principles of marriage as established in His Word from Gen. to Rev. The Lord said this;
Mat 5:17 Do not think that I have come to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I have not come to destroy but to fulfil.
Mat 5:18 For truly I say to you, Till the heaven and the earth pass away, not one jot or one tittle shall in any way pass from the Law until all is fulfilled.
Mat 5:19 Therefore whoever shall relax one of these commandments, the least, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of Heaven. But whoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of Heaven.
Statistics show that there are more women than men of faith and if we are to be equally joined together (2Cor.6:14,1Cor.7:39) then polygyny is a God sanctioned option for those who by faith are able to live this lifestyle. If faithful men desire to provide spiritual headship for more than one wife, and Christian women are strongly committed to plural Christian marriages then such are free before God to so marry without condemnation and excommunication.
Taken from http://www.biblepolygamy.com/directory.htm which states that polygamy and monogamy go hand in hand and polygamous marriages are not considered sin in the eyes of the Lord.
http://www.answering-islam.org/Authors/Arlandson/fulfilled.htm
The most salient and sometimes difficult statement on the relationship between Jesus and his disciples and the Old Covenant is found in Matthew 5:17-20, in the context of the famous Sermon on the Mount. The four verses read as follows in the New International Version:
5:17 Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. 18 I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. 19 Anyone who breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.
I’ll be the first to admit that I was born into it but then how do you explain Diana, Roxanne and Jennifer? When I was growing up I didn’t plan to have multiple wives but as I’ve said before the only plan that matters is God’s Plan.
Look if I was raised in a religious compound I would agree with you, from what we’ve learned about such places it’s that from birth you are taught that the only person who can get you to heaven is the Prophet.
Disobey him and you will not be allowed into heaven, if you are a man you can lose your wives and have to live with the heartache of having to watch your family being scattered and watching another man play husband and father to your wives and children.
The boys are chased when they are teens because they aren’t enough women to satisfy all the men. Yet those women are expected to get a boy because what father doesn’t delight in having a son? Only to have him chased away once he shows an interest in a girl or rebels against something as teenagers often do.
If you have a girl you spend your life worrying about what will become of her because most of these girls are taken out of school and forced into marriage. You worry about what will happen to her once she gets married because of the atrocities you might have faced in your own husbands bedroom.
So yes if I was born into that I would understand, but my home is nothing like that. My wives and my children are the most important things in my life and as much as it would kill me to lose them if they wanted to leave I wouldn’t stand in their way.
I always laugh at this because who wants to be the center of four women’s attention? Sometimes I feel like a child when they start on me. My kids always complain about this as well if one of them misbehaves then they have four mother’s yelling at them and then later on it’s my turn as well.
So yes sometimes it’s great having their focus on me but the minute I do something, I get it worse than the kids because they expect better from me and with each wife the standard gets higher. I mean if the scale starts at one and ends at four then Diana is on one, Roxanne is on two, Lina at three and Jennifer whose at four is the most disappointed of them all because the other wives put so much work into making me the man I am.
No I don’t in our home everything is always a debate because they are so many people involved. All the decisions which are to be taken are discussed and voted on and only in the event that no decision can be reached I have the final say.
Yes there are some things were I will not enter into discussions I will make the decision but those instances are far and few in between.
Oh my gosh I always laugh when people accuse him of this because their minds instantly go for the salacious. I can’t speak for the others but when we are together it’s not just about the sex our marriage is more than sex. And to be honest if he wanted to have sex he could just pay for it like he used to.
I’ve spent nights just lying in his arms, we’ve spent nights just talking, during school holidays we’ve spent nights just playing with the kids. Yes sex is a part of marriage but it’s just that a part of it.
Well I feel kind of awkward about this subject so I won’t take part in it. What I will say is that when I married him my perceptions of sex changed for the better.
I enjoy being with John and every minute I spend with him for me is heavenly. What people need to understand is that sex is just that sex and what John and I do in the privacy of our bedroom is just that private. But I can honestly say that my husband is no sexaholic.
1. Lack respect for women – see them as baby making tools
In the Chapter the Role of a Women we delve into this.
Children are a blessing from God and you can’t really plan for them and this reminds me of a friend of mine.
He and his wife had been married for five years they had the house and the finances that they felt were sufficient to support a child so they started the process of having a baby. Three years passed and nothing so they went to a doctor and he tested them both healthy as horses so they went back to trying two more years passed and still nothing.
Then one day he comes to see me and he says that I’ve had the right idea the whole time have many wives and if one can’t produce then move on to the next one. I punched him out. When he came to, we both apologized started talking and as we were talking he reveals something about himself that I’d never known he had a son with an ex of his.
And I think when he mentioned this it was meant as a joke almost like wish I’d hadn’t kicked … to the curve now. We’ve all experienced those moments when things don’t go as planned and you wish you could just go back and take that offer you rejected.
So he tells me that when he was 23 he made a girl pregnant and when she told him he told her that he wasn’t interested.
For me the answer was as clear as the nose on his face, why would God give him another child when he’d thrown away the one he’d given him? The real tragedy in this situation was that his poor wife would have to suffer with him. He of course refused to listen and they are still trying to this day.
But back to our house yes we love having children but it’s a mutual decision and it’s not something we plan well except for with Roxanne.
2. Do you use condoms?
Sometimes, but not always but before you start screaming about Aids and other STI’s we are tested regularly and we are faithfully to each other, we don’t sleep around. Condoms are used only on rare occasions and that is only on request.
Why Can’t Women Marry More Than One Husband?
Well as far as I know no Christian women has ever done this before but I did do some research and it is very rare and practiced in cultures which do not believe in God and His Son Jesus Christ.
In those cultures a woman will marry brothers and choose whom she wants to lay with on any given day. It’s usually brothers because even if she isn’t too sure which of the brother’s is the father of her baby she will be certain of its last name.
So to close this issue no it’s not easy being a polygamist but whenever I look at my family I wouldn’t change it for anything. In my country alone of all the states only 11 of them consider polygamous relationships as a misdemeanor offence the rest of the country it’s either a felony or completely outlawed. To live as polygamist means that you live in constant fear of having your family being torn apart, constant fear of prison, of having your wives imprisoned and your children taking away so yes it’s easy being a polygamous.
Because of my choice to live this life my family has ostracized me, my parents don’t speak to me, my siblings are confused by my choices and I have no one to turn to but my husband and I’m grateful for Roxanne, Lina and Jen because where my flesh and blood have rejected me they’ve accepted me.
My father left us when I was three so my brother, my sister and I were raised by our mother. When I told her that I was planning to become a Sister Wife she was hurt and disappointed. Because she’d always taught us that you don’t need a man, you can do it on your own. So to her it was a bit of a disappointment because to her it seemed as if I doubted myself, but she met John and then Diana and eventually she realized that it wasn’t self-doubt that was propelling me into this marriage but love.
At the time I thought that we’d never get married because he was adamant that he couldn’t marry me without her permission, but I convinced him that she would accept us given time. Now she count’s the days until we visit or until she visits and every time I tell her we’re coming over she always wants to know who else is coming.
And whenever I say it’s just us, meaning John and our kids, she always says that there is more than enough room for all of us.
I grew up in a home like this so they’ve been pretty supportive the only downside is that we live in fear, fear that one day while were sleeping or eating or praying men with guns could just barge into our home and take away our husband and us and throw us in jail and they could take our children away from us, away from their homes where they are loved and cared for and take them to homes where no one cares about them. That is the only downside for me, the fact that someone who knows absolutely nothing about you and your family would dare to pass judgment on your lifestyle especially since we are all consenting adults.
My ex- husband when I told him that I was remarrying he was furious and when I told him that I was marrying a polygamist he was livid, but I told him that what I did with my life no longer concerned him and he said that he’d take me back to family court to gain custody of our two son’s and I told him that he could if he wanted to but no court would grant him custody. On that day he beat me up for the last time and the next time I saw John I was a free woman, after we were married I included them all in my will and said that I wanted them to have my children should I die. I’m an orphan so there was no one to challenge me when I decided to marry John except my ex and he didn’t have much ground to challenge me on. But like Lina I live in fear of the day when the police come because he told on me just to be spiteful.
Below are maps that illustrate this.
States which accept Polygamous marriages in the USA as per Wikipedia
