Blending a Family{1}
A woman may be the heart of the family but it falls upon the head to unite the family and you as a man are that head. Some parts of this section continue in the Role of a Woman.
When we married Roxanne and I use we because Diana was as involved in the decision as I was. So when we married Roxanne Diana had Moses and that meant that Roxanne would have to get used to the idea of not only sharing a husband but children as well.
Because you have to remember, when you marry a person you marry them with all their baggage, if it’s an alcoholic mother then that becomes your problem as well. If it is children they become your children, which is why as the head of the house you need to make sure that everyone works together for the good of the family.
So when Roxanne joined the family I told her that she was to think of Moses as her own and when she gave birth to Sarah and Penelope, Diana did the same sometimes we would take the girls and Moses out for a walk and people would always say what beautiful children we have and she’d thank them without batting an eyelid because to her they are her children as well if you ask any of my wives how many children they have the answer is always the same sixteen.
So it was with me when Jennifer joined the family Carl and Greg Jr. are not mine by blood but I love them just as much as I do any of my other children.
When it comes to blending a family the way that you as the head of the house behave sets the tone for how the family will work and how that child will be treated. If you have a child and you expect your wife to treat him as her own why then won’t you do the same for her child?
If you as the head of the house treat your own flesh badly how do you expect any women to trust you with her children?
I always say that children belong to the father because it is his surname they bear and if you can’t treat your children as a father should then you don’t deserve the title of father and more importantly you don’t deserve the title of man.
Blending a Family Where the Child is from the Father and the Mother is still in the Picture
Your role in this is to support your wife, treat her as an equal and not just someone who is meddling in your affairs and remember your relationship with your child is different to that of yours and your ex.
So if for example Roxanne was to tell Jessica that it’s bedtime I would back her up because our daughter needs to understand that even if Roxanne is not her mother by blood she is still her mother because of the mere fact that she married me. (See also role of a woman).
Blending a Family Where the Child is from the Father and the Mother is not in the Picture
Support your wife. See her as an equal and not just a stand in for the woman that left you and your child or children. (See also role of a woman).
Blending a Family Where the Child is from the Mother and the Father is still in the Picture
Just as you would expect your wife to accept and love your children when you blend a family you need to do the same. When Carl and Greg joined our family on the first day they moved on to the farm I asked them to call me dad but that was only if they were comfortable with the idea and before that I had them call me John.
Even though you will never be the final authority figure you still need to be seen as one. Never once in your actions or words should you show this child that you feel anything but love for him or her because to do so would mean that you feel exactly the same about your wife because as I’ve said befor the child is a part of her and you need to see it as a gift and not as her excess “baggage”. (See also role of a woman).
Blending a Family Where the Child is from the Mother and the Father is not in the Picture
Take the child as your own never let the child know that you are not its father not by your words nor by your deeds, if the father should make a return than you as that child’s parents (with your wife) need to decide whether or not you will allow him to see him or her. (See also role of a woman).