“Stay dressed for action and keep your lamps burning, and be like men who are waiting for their master to come home from the wedding feast, so that they may open the door to him at once when he comes and knocks. Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes.”
Luke 12:35-37
Lord, here I find myself, I must admit, too often weak and distracted, taken up with the duties of the day and nearly swallowed by the routine in the mundane life, here in the midst of a culture of affluence and prosperity. Oh that I would remember how Sodom fell and that I would not be like their deeper heart condition – “Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.”71 Even though I may let myself, however unintentional, drift towards mental slumber and wander into the grounds of the self-life, You are continuously faithful to guide and direct my paths and alert me to my spiritual dryness. You, oh Lord, by Your providence have placed me in this time and in this culture, so should I complain against You? No, for I repent, turning unto You again this very day. And should I seek to escape this culture of corruption? On the one hand, I know it is far better to be absent from the body to be with You,72 however, I know there is work here yet to do, regardless if it is labor and toiling, work and hardship, pain and problems, yet You have good and lasting promises and joyous good works for me yet here as well; not only this, but that someone by the words I speak or write may be humble tool that You would use to save their soul. May Your will be done.
Never let me forget that my fellowship is not with this world, that being with darkness and sin, but with You now and here, in reality and truth; for here I must be found praising Your name, living for You, being prepared and trained up for eternity and the many trials that will come my way. For until the last beat of my heart and last breath of my lungs, till the life You have given and sustained, is call back to You, here it is I must be about Your will. In this, Lord, may I be so dressed for action, and with increasing dedication and time being shut-up to You, and may I be burn bright with the light of Christ.
Lord, should I seek You only when I am in want of relief, or when desirous of some good thing, or to know of some sort of thing I am to do? And although, Lord, I am to seek You in these times as well, rather how much more should I seek You when the comforts of life and routine commonality are upon me? Oh that I might increase in self-discipline and resolve to be alert and ready at the door. Without doubt, and You know Lord, many of my days physical pain comes to befriend me and remind me of my temporal weaknesses; yet in this too You have taught me, and preparing me still further, to praise You in the trials,73 for You only have my eternal best in mind.74 For what Satan means for evil, You use for good.75 May I dwell more on Your incredible goodness during trials, as I have so often in the past, more so soon (see chapter eight).
In this walk with You I am being prepared and made ready for many battles. You have shown me time and again that my focus is not to be on the battles, the trials, the enemy, nor even the overall war, but it is to be on and with You alone. Here, oh Lord, make me to be sober-minded and singular focused; only when I am walking with You, with full attention on You, am I able to understand how to put on the battle armor and how to use the weapons rightly.76 For how can I be strong in You and in the power of Your might77 if my attention is divided, or worse yet, wrongly locked upon things other than You? How can I be a right, true and maturing Christian if milk78 is what I drink and the cares of this world is my appetite? Oh Lord – forbid such! For like newborn babies I must long for the pure spiritual milk,79 however, I must only start with such longing – my longing must continue to grow and continue itself, to long for more and more of You. So help me, rather work in me Lord, a growing spiritual awareness and preparedness, paying much closer attention80 to Your word and Your powerfully working Holy Spirit.
And is it not even more than just being prepared generally, should I not be in the school of piety and holiness as well? For without holiness, shall I even see You? NO!81 Yet this school is not laborious nor unwilling, it is also not a mere moral legalism nor imprisonment of my desires, but one of joyously learning how I ought to respond and act like Jesus at all times, especially when the fires of affliction, trials and fears are sure to test my profession. Herein, Lord, for the sake of Your great name, the sake of Your dear Son and Your blessed Holy Spirit, try me and know my heart, lead me in the way everlasting.82
Lord, today you remind me yet again that to whom much was given, much will be required.83 So how could it be, as I have experienced in some of the years gone by, that I had ever become like some of those in the church in Ephesus?
“But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first.”84
Oh Lord, you know how I have been in such a place, but You, oh You mighty Lord, You awakened me to my state, my state of great need for You; of course not in mere words or self-puffed-up knowledge85 condemning of sin, but authentically knowing You and rightly doing the good works You have prepared ahead for me; is this not what makes the reality of faith alone and my desire to respond by doing good works cheerfully related friends?86 Certainly yes! For if You have given me so very much, as You have given me the greatest of all, thus namely Jesus Your Son, Your Christ, how then shall I respond to you? Shall I not desire to be awake, alert and ready at the helm? Should this not be more than mere preparation, should it not also be a working out of the salvation which You have granted me?87 Still further yet, should this not cause me to fulfill the greatest of commissions, to live the greatest of commandments, to be built up in love and to build up my fellow man in Your powerful and working graces, even considering others greater than myself? Oh, and should I not be in prayer, prayer for those who are fellow laborers in the Gospel, those in need of regeneration, and yes, even authentically praying for those who hate me? Oh Lord, for if you have given me such grace, such pardon and favor, should I not but respond to You and let my actions show the truth even when no one else can see it but You alone? Oh Lord, You know – Oh how You know!
So then, how can I express, how shall I comprehend, how shall I intercede for my dear brothers and sisters? Lord, help me to express how the longing of the church sounds; help me, dear Lord, to listen, to feel, to intercede for the suffering, and the very blood that cries out from the ground unto You.88 And should I forget about those in bondage and prisons, those being abused and exploited by the evil one? Oh Lord, never, for You see and know such ones! Should not that which concerns You be not my concern as well? You see into places, places concealed in such a way as to appear good, living in the light, and even religiously pious, yet are dens of horrid evil. Take the priests in Ezekiel’s day, they tried such things,89 but You Lord know and reveal such wickedness. As a very cherished preacher once said to me, “God uses rocks and donkeys to speak”90, Oh Lord, how much more ought I to cry out to You and to be a voice for the voiceless, especially in light of Your great mercy and love You have lavished upon me, You being the Greatest when I was the worst? Oh to cry out to You, to lift high the voiceless and make the case of the widow and fatherless known91, and to verbalize for the persecuted and hidden soul; shall I not do as I am able, and even to call someone to their aide and make their reality felt?92 Shall I not make intersession my life’s response to what You have given me and do as I am able? Lord work this out in me much, much more than I am even now aware.
Even in these things, Oh Lord, I feel Satan tempting me to twist Your graces into my prideful and personal usage and wicked presumptions93 upon Your holy, good and perfect character. Lord, let me not, no never, do what is right in my own sight,94 for there is no wisdom in my eyes, only in repentance will it be healing to my flesh and refreshment to my bones.95 For You hate pride, arrogance, the evil path and perverted speech.96 But oh what promises You have for me and all who will be so awake and ready, prepared and working – “I love those who love Me, and those who seek Me diligently find Me.”97
So then since I have received so much, shall I not be like Enoch,98 who having no Bible, no formulated church, no men’s groups, nor fellowship with others that I know, shall I not walk with You all the more? For in knowing You is true insight,99 fellowship100 and friendship, closer than any human brother, sister, mother, father and although a symbol of Your church, even marriage.101 You have not left me ignorant of Satan’s devices102 and I know all too well, that there is no man, nothing of the flesh, that can offer deep, lasting and true freedom, joy and peace. For You call me to hate even the garment stained by the flesh103 and to turn away from trusting in the flesh – so why then would I, how could I dare give but an ounce of my time to the learning of enmities and vanities of death? Forbid this in me! “Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength.”104
How then shall I respond to You? How shall I forget to be diligent, not just merely laying hold of initial salvation, but really and deeply, passionately and rightly, in recognition and in humility, seek to know more and more and more, oh so ever increasing? Let me not be like Lot’s wife, looking back and longing for sinful ease,105 but let me be like the one who’s hand is put to the plow, focused forward106 and being trained by Your true107 and working grace.108 May the soils of my old man continually be plowed up and ready made fertile ground, always ready for Your word, the seeds of life – Christ Jesus Himself, and Your water, the growing and working of Your Holy Spirit, be ever increasingly productive till that great day. Be it ever so true. Amen.