That night, after a long meditation and zhikr, I had my time to speak to Allah in my du’a. Rarely do I beg for God’s hearing in my native language as my Arabic prayers usually sufficiently long. But that night I prayed hard in silence until my tears flowed. I fear the wrath of God, I fear if I was not in His pleasure.
The prayer was voiced out of my heart, because my tongue sort of being locked from speaking loud, let alone beg. Shame to pray nonsense, my heart does not allowed it.
In my principle, I always surrendered to whatever pounds were given to me, I will accept the way it comes.
I knew all is written in Lauhul Mahfudz and I am well aware of the script that God had for me to play in this world.
I closed my prayer with al kahf, '… and those who expect a meeting with their Lord, do good deeds and do not associate Him in their deeds'.
My closing with …subbuhun quddusun rabbuna warrabbul malaikatuwarruh (The Most Holy Rabb my Lord, angels and spirits) and remained silence, sending my prayers to Lauhul Mahfudz.
The dream had surprised me at 5 am in the morning.
I can't remembered the first stanza of the dream, but the situation was in the event of me being haunted and hunted by the disbelievers, that disallowed me to uphold my faith, that they wanted to kill and wiped me out of this earth.
Inside a house, a stocky man stormed in and fired shots at me.…and I was killed.
I collapsed. While on my knees I felt the bullet pierced my chest from behind. Is this how it felt when I died?
O God, am I going to suffocate in my chest and die?
The spine felt very cold and the whole body was getting weak. My eyes did not move anymore. A blank stare and my heart said, ‘am I on the verge of death?’
I heard the voice of my mother's spirit (or maybe a woman). She held my head and said, ‘get your Roh (spirit) out of the body… and return you to God’.
She whispered and released my spirit from this rigid body.
My eyes were tightly closed, my sight became black. All blackout. Blackness.
Oh my god I'm dead. I don't know for how long I had been in the blackout period. But I felt like it was a short time.
When I woke up, I was at the STATION. Many people were waiting there. I wondered what they were waiting for, maybe a bus, or a train? It looked like a train station. I was accompanied by someone, unable to see her face.
We went to the inquiry counter on the upper level. So it was actually a multi-layer station with train in the lower ground and I was at the upper level.
I gave my name to the guy at the counter, my short name. Then the guy asked for my full name.
Then he gave me a piece of card. It was written my destination… Stranged that I could not remembered the words on the card. It was a bit like the ancient word to me. Definitely the name of the place was not nowhere near the earth.
I looked outside, there were some floating cars (but looked more like 2-seater flying carriage) or flying saucers. One of them came to pick up a woman.
I did ask the counter guy, ‘where the woman will be sent to? A little busy body. He said to a cold area in the south. I have no clue.
Then another the floating car came to pick me up. I was picked up a little faster than the rest.
‘You will be sent to a village’, the man whispered to me.
The village? Where? Then woke up from sleep.
I wondered about the meaning of this dream.
I was told once by my awliya guru about the village of the Prophets in the afterlife. The intermediate state, where the righteous will be sent to, out of this world, not on earth but the location as he described here.
The VILLAGE of the prophets located between the position of the index finger that lifts up on ‘shahada’, the witness statement in muslim prayer. The location is between the intersection of two roads. The path pointed up is going to heaven (Firdaus) and the path pointed down is going to hell. The place is near the ‘Firdaus’ station where the first inspection and approvals were given to the souls to allow them to pass through the gates of Heavens and Hell.
It was also mentioned in the Torah, the place between the Hades and the Sheol.
Is this my resting place, O God AlMighty?
Can I returned and worked in Your Ministry?
Allow me to serve You Rabb. Allow me to serve under the banner of your apostles and the angels…
Ya Allah. My tears flowed. I didn’t know why I shed tears but I have to accept what was written…the place isn’t bad at all. It is a resting place where prophets and his people lived in the hereafter.
Is there still time for me to earn your recognition for the work in Your Ministry O Allah?
But I am grateful. I knew my place to go, the life after grave.
This is 2015 and I still have time to find my way up, to be recognized and to be working in the afterlife.
O God, grant me the ‘closeness’ to you….