2a As I mentioned earlier the vision that I was told, was now mine. It’s a little difficult to explain how it became my vision, but I could, and still can see every small detail in clear and vivid color, could taste the smells, and could hear the voices as if they were speaking right beside me. This all happened in the day time, not a dream, not a trance, just a clear motion picture-like scenario taking place right in front of me.
It began with vast plains of land as far as the eye could see, and I could see for miles and miles in any direction. The sky was dark with dreary clouds hung low with an oppressing feeling about them. People were everywhere, going to and fro, but seeming to have no place at all to go, just wondering around with no clear direction. In the middle of this darkness, surrounded by the emptiness of the open but familiar foggy landscape, was a mountain. Although the prairie was ugly, the mountain was as if the sun was shining brightly upon it, even though it was treeless, it did have one tree that grew right on the top of this inviting mountain.
It seemed that a group of the people in the flat land were trying to escape, or maybe just reach this mountain of refuge. As I began to look toward this beauty of a skyscraper, I could see that the bottom of the mountain was almost as dark as the land itself, but as my eyes crawled slowly up the hillside it became lighter in color until my eyes were looking directly on the top, where I could see a beauty that I have never seen before. Truly, the top was where I and the rest of the people gathered at the bottom wanted to be. The mountain itself was filled with pitfalls, cliffs, and boulders of many sorts, but the top, especially the tree was a splendor that I cannot describe, it had a peace about it, and the tree seemed to be the light of the whole valley plains. It was much, much brighter on top of the mountain, but as my eyes descended back down and then again across the level, but dreary land, I could see that the farther one was from the light, the dimmer it was. Then I noticed large birds, I believe that they were buzzards, flying low in the sky. These buzzards were attacking the people attempting to make it to, and climb to the safety of the mountain, where several but certainly not all wanted to be. These large fowl were pecking, knocking over, picking up and puking on the ones closest to the bottom of the refuge, but also those who already starting up.
As I stood in amazement, a large white and beautiful owl suddenly was standing beside me, and as he began to speak, I could hear a gentle softness in his voice that immediately gave me a peace. Things didn’t just get better with his presence, it was better, and he said: “Ross, The valley that is before you, is the world you live in and is called, egypt, babylon, and the flesh, the buzzards are demons, the people wondering around are those with no direction in their lives, and those trying to get back it to the mountain and climb it are called christians, and the vomit is oppression and depression. The tree on the very top is the Tree of Life, and the Light shining from it is our God… bye-the-way, my name is Wisdom.”
There were many things that happened in this vision, many steps to climb, and many obstacles to overcome, and many times the Owl talked with me. At this time, I’m only going to focus on a small portion of the vision, the part that changed my life in an astounding way, in that I will never be as I was before.
I was led to that mountain by the Spirit, and was told to reach the top anyway that I could, but to reach the top. As I began my upward ascend, the going was rough, wet with puke, littered with those also attempting to climb, and at places almost straight up. I would climb up one cliff and then another, only to fall back down. Soon I found that if I kept my eyes focused on the tree that sat on top, the slime was somehow a little less slippery, even though the going wasn’t very easy at all, it was getting a little easier with each step that I took. As I climbed, and still occasionally fell back, I’d made it to a large ledge, in about four hours, that was dark, damp, and wide enough to set down a take a rest. My arms and legs were just about to give out, so I sat on a flat rock and leaned back on a bigger one. As I sat there looking around, I noticed off from my right side was a very large cave. After a few minutes, I walked over and went inside this giant, darkened, hole in the ground, and there discovered that inside were many doors.
Doors of every colors and shape, some were brightly lite, some had music coming from them, some had voices that sounded like sermons coming from them, and all had a ‘welcome’ sign. And as I was pondering these doors, the Owl was suddenly beside me with his hand on my shoulder. “Ross, it’s not always the bells and whistles that one should look for, the road is not always easy.” That’s all that was said and as suddenly as He appeared, He was gone.
Walking and looking as I toured the darkness, wondering what each door was, I notice a door stuck way back in the corner, or maybe I should say, end of this dark cave, that had no light and I could tell was seldom, if ever used at all. I stood in front of that door what seemed like hours, just meditating, praying and thinking why such a door would be here, and realized that because of the scariness of it, it was seldom used. I perceived, or maybe it was a feeling from the deepest part of me, that each door was a way to the top and eventually to the Tree that sat on this beautiful, but scary mountain.
Brushing away the cob-webs, I reached for the handle, but could not find the strength to grab it. Stepping back to reconsider this act I was about to do, I realized that if I did open the door, it was a must that I go through it. I somehow knew that the other doors were not the ones to open, so I contemplated on this darkest of doors only, and also remembered that I could go back outside and continue the climb up the mountainside. Looking again and again at this rustic door, I noticed a small, old wood, decaying sign above it that was completely covered in dust, as I brushed it with my hand; I saw that it had written on it “Judgment.” This made a scary situation even scarier, so I stepped back again to rethink this, what seemed like hours, but it could have been weeks or years.
A very soft voice that sounded much like the Owl’s said; “The road well- traveled, seldom goes anywhere.”
My mind was made up, I was to open and pass through this door, and endure what I must. “My life as it is now”, I thought, ‘is not taking me to where I long to be, in the safety, security and peace of my Daddy.” I WAS determined to go through it…..And I did.
I saw things and I myself, in that room that was so hurtful, bitter, sad, and just plain painful, that I bent over in agony. But all that I saw was true, it was real and worst of all, it was me. Yes, I was staring at my own life, all the stupid and foolish things that I had done, and could see all the people that I had hurt. “Why did I choose this door’ I thought, ‘what have I done by going through that door.” Again I heard that gentle voice of the Owl say; “It can hurt now, or you can choose the easier but slower way to reach that Tree.”
I found strength to suck it in and persevered down that long corridor of the dark emptiness of my life.
I saw many things about my own life, many of which I will not relate to you. Even though I loved and pursued the Lord and thought I was living life as I should, with all the learning and growing that had taken place in my life in the last five years, I still fell far short of how life could be lived, and how I was still blinded to the many things of this world and not seeing things that God had in store for me. So before I finish telling the rest of the parts that I’m going to share, let me step out of the vision for a few minutes and explain a little of what happened in the next couple of years.
I had a talk with my God, after many hours of contemplating and agonizing moments, and with a determined voice and mind-set said to Him: “Lord, I know you as Healer, I know you as Savior, I know you as King of kings, Lord of lords, I know you as Deliverer, I know you as Beautiful and Wonderful, I know you as Truth, and I heard you as Wisdom, but I do not know you as Judge. I lay my life before You to be judged.”
The next months and years to come were the most awful, heart wrenching, belly-aching, life changing, and WONDERFUL time in my life.
In the vision I went on to eat of that fruit of the tree, and many things were given to me by the Owl, It was truly a life rendering, experience that would show me things that I would never had seen, if not for this vision. I was given a Gift, an inward ability to see things, and situations, not as they appear, but as they really are in the allegoric, and inner secrets, of the ‘games people play.’ There was many, many events in this climb up, and then back down this mountain of God, most of which, I will not share at this time, but all were truly, not of my flesh, given to me for a purpose that only my Lord will reveal. But I will share one more short story of what happened that made a great impact in my learning process.
As I was descending from the top of the mountain, where the Tree of Life grew, I was about two-thirds down and stopped to take a rest from several ordeals that had just taken place, and was standing there looking over the valley before me. I noticed about a dozen men, christians that were walking down a gully towards a prison camp that contained hundreds and hundreds of prisoner, all of which were christians. As I stood watching, I saw that two hundred yards ahead of them were several, if not scores, of the demons hiding in wait, behind rocks and the many cracks that were in the land. Just as I was going to shout a warning to these men, the Owl again appeared. “Ross, don’t warn them of the upcoming attack”. “But Lord,’ I spoke back in a snappy tone, ‘our people are going to be slaughtered.” And grabbing my right hand with His right hand, looked in my eyes and said; “Tribulations is what all have to go through, This is all given to us from the Father to bring about a purifying and special blessing to those who love the Father and Me. They must be tried as with fire.”
As I continued to stand there watching as this was playing itself out, I noticed that each of the men, marching to the rescue of those in prison, had armor on them.
Feeling a sigh of relief, I studied as the attack began. The armor was helping, but was not keeping them completely protected, for each time the christians turned their backs, where no armor was, they were hit by the fiery darts that were thrown by the demons. Many casualties occurred that day, but none were killed. All had retreated back to the mountain where they came from.
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3a I learned that day; don’t put your hand on someone’s business, or even God’s purposes, unless you hear from God to do so. We may think we’re helping, and to even bring about a change, but can easily cause damage in another person’s life, by stopping the redemption Power of the Lord. Our trials and tribulations are there because God loves us, not to hurt us, but to bring about a change in His time….. This is the Wisdom of God, Jesus Christ.
Looking at myself, after seeing this vision was a very hard thing to do, as what I was seeing, just made me sick to my stomach. It seemed the closer I’d gotten to God, the farther away I was. This scared me, thinking I might be on the wrong track.
For weeks, at least once a day, I would lay prostrate on the living room floor for lack of ability to stand. I would just lay there seeking Christ and answers that I knew were far beyond me and my earthly way of thinking. This was a very sobering experience for me that I would not trade for anything else that I had ever experienced.
Then with that soft and oh-so gentle voice that I heard before, God spoke; “Ross, you are not getting farther from me, you’re just seeing yourself in an earthly way, and the closer you come to me, the more your eyes are being opened. The light is getting brighter, and the brighter it becomes, the more you can see into the secrets of the heart.”