It was early one afternoon not so many years ago that as I sat on the front porch of my house and I was then called into the Spirit by a vision:
For some reason I found myself standing in the barn behind the house, what I was doing wasn’t clear, but at this particular moment I seemed to have been cleaning for I had a pitch-fork in my hands maneuvering some hay from one side of the barn to another. The barn was a mess, things strewn every-which-a way, and stuff that should have been put up and/or arranged a long time ago filled every space that there was. It was so messy and cluttered, the roof had started to leak, and several of the slats on the siding were beginning to come loose. There was virtually no room left in the barn, rendering it useless, or so it seemed.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw some movement through cracks in the slats of the siding, and could tell that something or someone was coming towards the place I was standing. Thinking to myself, I wasn’t afraid, and if it was some mischief then heck, I had a pitch-fork in my hand. Just a few moments later I could see that help had arrived. But I wasn’t expecting anyone, and besides, I didn’t have a clue to who this person is, or where he came from.
The man standing before me was big, and I don’t mean big like Hoss Cartwright, I mean huge like John Coffey, the man in the movie “The Green Mile”. He looked to be a mix breed of several different races, for I could see Oriental, Hispanic, African, and maybe a touch of Caucasian. But anyway he was a large fellow, and had this kind, full face smile that touched a spot inside of me, that I could feel all the way down to my toes.
He flung his hand up, and let out this big-ole howdy that sounded more like a song than it did just a greeting. It warmed me to the bone, and for the first time on that warm late summer day, I felt good. I was no longer tired and my back quit hurting. Responding with a hello, I asked if there was anything that I could do for him.
“No” was his come-back, “Just thought I come up here and talk a little, if you’ve a mind to”. It seemed the whole barn was lit-up and filled with the combination of sweet smelling grass, and the smell one gets after a brief summer shower. I don’t think that I’ve ever turned down a pleasant conversation and the chance to rest, so I pulled up a bale of hay and invited him to do the same. “Ross, I understand that you’re going through some stuff, and are pondering on some of the deeper things of your Daddy”. I knew what that meant, I often referred to God as my Dad or Daddy. “Often people search, but answers come in weird ways, at least some of the time.”
Looking at this giant of a man with his bib overhauls and a straw hat I could tell that he was a peaceful fellow with a gentleness and softness that one only dreams about but seldom, if ever, finds. His features were pronounced with a square jaw, rather large nose and a few wrinkles here and there, but something about him reminded me of a teddy-bear. I couldn’t tell if he was middle-aged, young or maybe older, but he was a welcome relief on that day.
“Yes I am troubled about a few things, where this world is going, what my place in it is, and why God is not doing something, just any-thing about the evil that’s going on. I can go to a grocery store or just about any public place and what I see is so many people troubled and beat down by the evil and oppression that they have done to others or has been done to them. One can read the news-paper or watch the news and see the turmoil and destruction that the world and mankind is falling into, all because of the ugliness and coldness that many in our population have piled upon themselves.”
Wow, did I really say all that to this stranger? I was thinking to my-self. He put his hand under his lower jaw as if to think, and was quiet for some time. As the thoughts were still running rampant in my brain, I was then glad that I didn’t give him the full length version of the many things that I wanted answers too.
Just about the time I was about to ask; “what can you tell me…”, He interrupted, “about the tree of knowledge, of good and evil?
“Yes. What about that tree?”
“In the garden,” he answered, “I placed the two trees, for I wanted a relationship with my people, not puppets, but a people that would love me and want to come under my protection that we would fellowship and nurture one another with our companionship.”
Wait a minute now, I was thinking. Did he just say that he placed the trees in the garden? “Who are you and I don’t know…”
“Your name?” he answered before I finished. “Well, my name is Jehovah-Jireh, some call me Father, some the Creator, some mother nature, some Allah, and some call me things that I shouldn’t repeat, but you have been calling me Daddy for years now. You don’t remember, but you were with me before the foundations of the world were created. You and I were together, and all others, were with me when the universe was formed. Since you now live between the eternities, none have a remembrance of our togetherness then.”
A little startled, and now a little confused about the profoundness coming out of this guys’ mouth, I shuffled my feet in a nervous way that people do when they don’t know what to do, and looking every direction except at him, I said; “this barn’s a mess, ain’t it?”
“Yes it is, but a beautiful mess in my opinion.”
I could see the potential of the barn, and with a lot of work and long hours, I could probably get it straightened out. Heck, that was what I was up there trying to do, I guess, it was going to take a lot of labor and surly couldn’t be done in one day, or even two, it would probably take a long, long time.
We sat there a few minutes, and no words were spoken, and after a long deep breath Dad began to speak. “Even though Adam never went back to the Tree of Life, it was and is still there for the taking. Its’ fruit is still available to this very day. There is great rejoicing and wonderful celebrations when one reaches up to take of the fruit that I have provided for each and every one. To eat of my fruit is to come back to me with pure agape Love, to walk with me again in relationship as we did in the beginning. Even though no one really remembers walking with me in the Garden, all have that subtle inner acquaintance, an almost memory of when we were there, and the communion we shared.”
Pausing a couple of seconds, and then moving a little closer to me, Dad placed one leg on a bale of hay that had an old board and a rusty can sitting on it and spoke.
“Again, what was it you wanted to ask me about the tree of knowledge, of good and evil?”
The closeness of His being was more than a little awkward, and I was more than slightly frightened, but I did manage to ask; “will you tell me about that tree of good and evil, what it is, and what’s it for?”
“If’s a tree of knowledge; it drives man to learn things, to expand himself beyond the relationship he had with me. Its’ purpose is; that I wanted my sons to have a chosen relationship with me, not one that was dictated without a choice. All of man is loved by me, all comes under my gracefulness, none are lost out my hand, but not all have the dependence and that intimate relationship that I and he longs for. Now, let me ask you a question. How do you determine whether something or someone is good or evil?”
“Well, I guess I haven’t given it much thought, I guess it just sort-of comes naturally to me. But, something is good when I like it, or it becomes an attribute to me and society, I’d guess it would make me feel good. I call someone or something evil when it causes pain or damages a person or thing in some way.”
“So you see evil and good as subjective, placing yourself as judge? And how much confidence do you have in your ability to discern some-thing or someone as good or evil?”
I snapped back a little quicker than I really wanted too “I guess that I really do place myself as judge and even though I make decisions rather quickly, I think that I’m usually pretty close to being right. I’ve thought my objectiveness is pretty well balanced, I think that I was probably taught well in my ability in viewing people and situations.” Pausing a few moments to reflex on what I just said, I spoke again. “It’s fairly obvious that my abilities to judge are mostly self-serving. Several times I remember that things or people I thought were good turned out the other way around, and vice-versa. Many times I’ve judged a situation as bad, when really it turned out really well.”
So, at this point Dad leaned towards me and with this big-ole smile, looked me right in the eyes and said; “you, and millions and millions of others have done the same thing. Some saying this is evil while his neighbor is grateful for it, others will like something that someone else thinks is disgraceful. So good and evil are subjective and cannot be trusted in the hands of any one that is eating of the tree of knowledge, of good and evil.”
“But what shall we…”
“..do to prevent this from happening?” He seemed to know my every thought. Continuing, with that big grin of his, and a voice that still sounded more like music than they did mere words. “Understand that good and evil are the same thing, the same fruit, and come from the same tree. It is not mans’ calling into judgment, that is to discern evil or good, he only does this to satisfy his own selfish needs without regards of what I am doing in the whole theater of life. There is no absolute to the reality of good, just a subjective thought that man puts on the meaning of that word. You could actually substitute the word good with the word evil. Man wanted in the Garden to be free and independent and therefore ate of that ‘good’ fruit as he was seduced by his own appetites instead of a continued communion with love, which is me.”
“I am sort-a following, but truly don’t thoroughly understand, but I sure can tell that understanding this concept would put an entirely different meaning on the life we live in comparison to the Life you have prepared for us.”
“Yes it would, when one chooses to live free of independence; he then chooses to live in Love. Independence simply means to live on your own, to make you own decisions, and therefore reap that which you have judged. To live in the Tree of Life is to choose to live under my direct Love, walk with me and desire that dependency that I will truly give from Love. Each and every day most people world-wide again and again picks of the fruit from the tree of knowledge, yes on a daily basis man can and does pick of that fruit because he has declared his independence and therefore has the right too. Jesus was sent to set all free, think about this.”
And at this point Daddy leaned over and put His extra-large hand on my shoulder. Thinking his hand would feel rough, it was not. It was soft, soothing and felt like He was hugging my whole body. I then noticed that His hand, just above the palm had a scar of what seemed like a long ago injury, deep, ragged, but healed.
“The freedom that I gave to all through Jesus was the choice to choose to be free indeed. Yes, man can then choose to give up his freedom that he may walk with me, in that fellowship that each person senses in his heart when quiet enough to hear, to cease from all his labors.”
“Lord”, I began to speak, now very much sober, “I can now see that I have lived my life pretty much out of touch with you. A selfish, self-centered life of independence, judging and making decisions from what’s been taught to me all my life, from my experiences, my success’, and my failures.”
“Pretty much,” He whispered back, ”and did you notice how many times you mentioned me and my? When one walks with the fruit from the Tree of Life, he then walks under my umbrella, no longer self-sufficient but dependent on me, and my Love to carry him and face every problem that the tree of knowledge can throw at him. I am sufficient. At that time there will be many less ‘I’s and a lot more we’s.”
This large man to which I was still a little skeptical about lifted me to my feet. His hand still on top of my shoulder, and without any energy or effort, raised me to a standing position, and then motioned to walk with him.
Standing beside Him, my six foot frame barely made it to His arm pit. I would almost have to look straight up to see His eyes, not realizing just how big this guy was in His overhauls, and that beautiful smile, it was something else, but I think I was lovin’ it.
As we began to walk out of the barn, I turned back for a look-see and again noticed what a mess the barn was in, but maybe not as big of a job to clean up as I earlier had thought, but still a mess.
We slowly meandered across the field and were heading towards a group of trees, as He sung a beautiful song that I had never heard. He sung with passion, as if it was a new song, and we talked about the beauty of the distant mountains and all the valleys that were between us and them. He said, “this is my farm, as far as you can see, you and I made it out of nothing, every branch and every tree, every river, every blade of grass, all the waterfalls, the oceans,” (and looking up) “as far as man can see. Turn around Ross“(and I did and He said,) “all the way back to me, and then some.”
“Wow, I have traveled, Lord, across our country several times and have seen your beauty many times, but I have a question for you. How do you explain…”
“…how you were there with me?” He finished my sentence.
“How could I be there with you?”
Ross, you and all the others were with me before the foundations of the world. Man is first a Spirit man, conceived in me, birthed in me, and we all were before this solar system was.
“Will we, at some point return again to you as we were?” I asked.
“Yes, there is not principalities, rulers, things in heaven, things of earth, nor anything in high places that can pluck anyone out of my hand, I will lose none. I Love to Love my people, and I Am able to keep all.”
As we walked in the woods, birds singing, critters scuffling, again I ask questions. “Lord,” (I was now beginning to see that He was real and that He was who He said He was; my Dad.) “As ugly as mankind treats each other, and with all the unadulterated evil going on, what is my right to defend myself, my right to see the difference between what is good and what is evil? Can I, if I see a wrong, step in and try to help the matter; can I intervene if I think I can help?”
“No and no to both questions, to live in your independence, you have an ability to exercise your so-called ‘rights’, but in reality you have no rights. Ross, Jesus didn’t hold on to or claim any rights, He gave up any and all claims, everything, that He could have a relationship with me. He, by choice, became a servant, and by doing that He opened all the windows in Heaven to give you the choice and freedom to give up your rights and become dependent on me. You were bought with the price, by what Jesus has given; therefore you no longer belong to your-self. No, you do not have any rights, not even any rights that you think religion and the tree of knowledge of good and evil gave you. Please do not confuse rights with abilities.” After a brief pause, He went on to say. “As helping others; sure we are to lend each other a helping, sound advice, or even a financial lift, but not unless I’m telling you too. I often use situations and circumstances to bring my people to a place in their lives where they will consider me, where they will turn loose of their ideals and consider me. I use situations to do that.”
“This is no small matter, is it Lord?”
“Most of the time the complexity of things is in reality just plain simple.” Dad turned and looked back at the barn that we came from, smiled ear-to-ear and said; “Ain’t that barn beautiful?”
“Well,” I replied, “the barns not so bad, it’s what’s inside of it, that’s all jumbled up, is.”
“You’re right, but it will be my pleasure doing it. I’ve had my eye on you from the beginning, that is, the beginning of time, and I see, but wanted you to see that this barn is a beautiful mess, it’s you Ross, all wrapped up in one bundle, a mess indeed, but beautiful.”
“Wow!”
I sat there stunned and a little startled, and leaning back on a rather large oak tree, I began to ponder. This was so amazing to me, that is, this whole situation, that I thought I’d take this opportunity to ask my Dad a few questions.
Before I could even ask, my Dad spoke. “Sure it is, that’s what I’m here for. Ask more than a few if you wish.”