2:00 a.m.
At times in the past years, God would periodically wake me out of my sleep to ask me a question. Used to shock me, but I grew to look forward to it. Well, red flag I awoke to a voice screaming, “Where is your king now?”
Again, I thought it was Jesus. Why? I don’t know since He never screamed at me before. That’s when the beating started. I was standing outside of God’s temple talking to Jesus. I was screaming mad about something. He made me walk away. When I got several paces, I turned and He was swinging. In my spirit, I was beat so hard that I could feel the blows. Lucky for me, men whose faces I could not see came to pull Him off of me.
His face hated me.
Afterward, He kept trying to pull me back to Him and when I would refuse, He would beat me more. In the process of this happening, God appears to help me. HE wants to know why I didn’t call HIM. Well, I was guilty because several weeks before I had cursed while speaking to HIM – I blamed HIM for allowing pedophilia. I was so mad that I carried a molested baby around on a silver platter not to mock HIM, but because I was so mad.
So I felt guilty. I figured if Isa was beating me that God was okay with that. But HE said no. Now HE told me not to speak to “Isa” anymore…but me and “I love Jesus”, I would try to ignore Him, but when He pulled me to Him, I would follow, get beat on when I refused sexual advances. God would keep coming to help me, but inside I still thought I was doing something wrong.
“Jesus” said He had to clear the snakes out of His house. He was talking to me! I thought “He” was talking to me. He told me that when I died and when He saw me He was going to hurt me. His hateful was very hurtful.
Christ had never approached me sexually before, but all of a sudden He’s as randy as a schoolboy and I'm the woman who is irresistible? Seemed weird. On top of that, He hit me way too hard for kissy- face to follow.