After eleven left-swipe mistakes, ten right-swipe mistakes, two dick pictures and two hundred NO’s, I finally stumbled upon a Tomas without an “h”.

An interesting profile, I thought, but not in a good way. He had pictures of himself on a boat, with a Porsche, a picture of his Rolex, Italian shoes, pictures of gold. I was curious – I had always thought that men flaunting their wealth either had severe self-esteem issues or were looking for a trophy wife to go along with their other possessions. I wanted to experience it. What sort of personality could that man have? He was cute too. So I decided to swipe right. Bloody hell! We matched! I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad thing on this occasion.

Well, to my surprise, Tomas (without an “h”) started chatting with me straight away. He was living alone in Guildford but worked in South Kensington as a cook. He wanted to phone me and, after giving up my number, I had Tomas on the phone half-a-second later. He seemed sweet, yet abrupt as he talked. The call lasted two minutes – just a way to check if I was real and hear my voice I supposed.

The date was planned just before my second date with Doug. I planned to only stay one hour with him. I was officially a serial dater. Three dates with three different men in the same week! This time I swore I'd stop when I slept with one of them or started to have feelings. For the moment, Doug, Tomas and Stefano were all "friends".

The Date No.1

We decided to meet in Wimbledon, since it was between Guildford and Knightsbridge.

I arrived right on time at Cafe Kaldi, but Tomas was not there. He came 10 minutes later and I was as straight as an arrow, "You're late! Not very gentlemanly!"

Tomas blushed and apologised all through the date, which made me swallow my annoyance quickly.

Tomas was a very cute man: brown hair, blue almond eyes, discreet lips, but embraceable, but unfortunately, he had a dripping belly that could be seen through his too tight t-shirt. His stomach gave me the impression of a huge deflated balloon, and it was not sexy.

Tomas was a calm guy; he was really cute with his shy ways. I understood that he had two brothers, from Lithuania, and had been living in the UK for just over a year. His brothers and his mother were living in New Jersey in the United States. We had the same musical tastes, and I had nothing else to add about him. There was nothing I hated or loved on that date. I left the date completely neutral.

Well, maybe his belly? I had to admit I couldn't help but look at it. When he sat on the chair, his belly sat on his legs.

Would I see him again? Maybe. Why? Well, I felt a little bit weird on that date. There was something I could not describe about him. Was it his timidity that was blocking me getting to know him? Was the one-hour date too short? I was not sure, but I was still very curious and I wanted to discover more.

One Sunday evening, Tomas called me to plan our second date. He suggested we went to the cinema. I declined immediately and offered to have a look at other activities. I was still in shock with the two cinema dates I had had with Joseph the robot and Bozo the clown (Adrian).

After our call, I received the following text from Tomas: < Valérie, I never been married properly, but I have a daughter 11 year-old back in Lithuania whos living whith her mom. I love children and was dreaming to have a nice family but it didnt work woth that woman. Wouldnt be that a lil problem for you? >

Ok, Tomas had a daughter. He was honest; she lived with her mother in Lithuania, but at this stage, did it really matter?

I didn’t really care. I knew about it – great! But it wouldn’t stop me seeing him again. And what did he mean by not “married properly”?

Then, five minutes later, I received another text from Tomas: < Claire, I hope you understand. >

I kindly replied: < Sorry, wrong girl! >

He replied back: < Sorry, my Tinder was playing up. >

I just didn’t respond.

Date No.2

Tomas was there, waiting for me, looking so cute in his clothes that were more appropriate to his body type. This time, his belly wasn’t showing.

He told me that there was no cinema in Wimbledon. I strongly doubted it, but I did not want to go there anyway and was shocked that he ignored my unwillingness to go.

As we went to look for a place to have a quick drink, we stumbled upon a cinema. I looked at Tomas mockingly, with inquisitive eyes. He explained, embarrassed, that he had a Cineworld card and it wasn't a Cineworld Cinema. But it was the first Red Flag. It seemed a little cheap for someone who owns a Rolex and a Porsche.

Tomas and I went to eat in a pub, and Tomas wanted to resume the conversation about his daughter. I interrupted him by saying that it was not relevant at this point and that it did not bother me. I thanked him for his honesty, and I suggested that we spoke about it more in depth when things became more serious between us.

And then he added, "Val, i need to tell you something else. I do not work anymore. I've been sacked for the fourth time since I've been in London. It's very hard for me, but thank God, I'm lucky enough to live on benefits. They are the reason I'm surviving these days. So, I'd like to apologise in advance if I'm not taking you to fancy restaurants for now."

Seriously, the man behind the Porsche was saying this to me? Part of me wanted to keep listening and discovering. It was like watching a mediocre movie but still curious to see how it ends. Could it get any worse for God’s sake? No! The New Moi had heard enough.

I excused myself to go to the loo, and for the first time on a date, I asked a friend (Bianca) to make the run-away-from-date-call. A few minutes later, I was in a cab going home.

As if what Tomas had said upon our date wasn't enough, he sent the following text later that evening: <Hi Valérie, I thought I would ask this question: i did recon that we like each other very much and could have a very nice long family type of relationship but i was about to rent some property in London soon and need to pay a high deposit, sign a contract and stuff and would be deffinitely stuck in that place for long. So I thought we like each other and so on and why couldn't we move in together in to Knightsbridge, your place and see how the things will further go. We wont get to know each other well unless we lived together under the same one roof. We could pay the rent each 50% be nice couple we could save time and money and would be really cool ;) think about that please and let me know later today ;) we could try this movemnt in the next 7 days :)>

Dumbfounded, my mouth went Sahara-dry. I really thought it was a joke! Big laughs! Obviously, I never responded to this proposal, and it was the end of this cute adventure.

Was he what we call a gold-digger? He sounded like it. I bet he wasn’t messing with no broke ladies. Get down man, go head get down! Next!