After all the funny dates I had had, I decided to divorce Tinder. It wasn’t working. I could barely remember if I had ever had a great date from that app. It was too random for me. I needed more than just physical attraction.

At first, I had felt that Tinder was saving me time, but in fact, it was wasting it. Going on random dates and chatting online with random men to check if we shared common interests was not efficient. Meanwhile, websites like eHarmony, Match, and others, did this part for you. You just needed to establish a chemistry and be pleased with the physical appearance of your date.

But, I decided to divorce online dating as a whole. I wanted to meet people in the street; being charmed in the flesh, smiling at them, talking to them and experiencing them naturally. I didn't want to be limited by an app, by over-Photoshopped or camera-unfriendly pictures. I wasn’t willing to have an app that dictated what I could or should like.

Not being on Tinder, or any other dating app was pure deliverance. I felt free. I could live, check out, and breathe. I was breezy. I was looking at men around me; I was happy to open my eyes and see all these British hotties, finally. I decided that I was done with online dating. I had had my share of fun on it, and I was ready to mingle offline.

The first opportunity came when Stephanie from Celest Connections invited Camellia and I to one of her clients' parties.

The client had had an engagement party a month earlier, but he apparently needed to parade his fiancée more and throw another party, just for the fun of it. He had invited everyone in Chelsea, Notting Hill, Mayfair, Marylebone, and Paddington. If you were not living in one of these locations, you were not allowed in. Some of those location-snobs were ridiculous! Well, I had been invited to parties with people from Chelsea and Mayfair only where allowed; I suppose this made that man a little bit more tolerant.

To be sure that I wouldn’t turn up late, glowing Camellia came to fetch me in her executive Uber car. I was slightly aghast, as I had to finish my makeup in it, riding more like a roller coaster than a smooth limousine.

Camellia was excited, as she was about to introduce me to Michael, one of her dates from Celest Connections. She fancied him and couldn't wait to have my point of view.

When we arrived at Leon’s St James Park mansion, I realised that we were not going to a miserable party, and I was thrilled I had chosen to wear my new designer dress. We could see people on the terrace and they were all looking shockingly chic.

I followed Camellia towards the entrance of the mansion. And as we approached the building, I could distinguish a shadow smoking and dancing erratically, like a large phone vibrating in staccato. Camellia and I eyeballed him from head to toe. The man was probably the sole guest wearing such horrible clothes. He had on some 80’s multi-coloured ensemble and a fur coat, which burned our eyes. Then he started fidgeting around Camellia and I, “Hello!” he shouted at us.

Camellia was horrified; I could read it on her face, "How dare this clown speak to us!"

My face was probably saying the same, “Who the hell are you?” but accompanied with a polite smile. We just walked past him and into the mansion. We heard the multi-coloured guy in the back say, “Enjoy the music! Because I’m the DJ tonight!”

Inside, Leon, the host, appeared from nowhere and welcomed us like queens, giving us champagne, canapés and randomly introduced us to people.

A few minutes later, the party took off. Everyone was dancing and the music was fantastic! Multi-coloured DJ seemed to know how to entertain his guests; I was immediately in my element, and I started rocking the dance floor on my own while Camellia was searching for her future fiancé.

I was dancing like crazy and having a few pictures taken with some random Mayfair ladies on the dance floor, when Camellia came and pulled me away to meet Michael. Camellia wasn’t joking when she said the guy looked like a better version of Leonardo de Caprio. Michael looked manly, confident, and he had that je ne sais quoi enthralling vibe about him. As soon as I saw him, I wanted him to be my friend.

Camellia introduced us, and he started talking about himself and his job straight away. I felt like he was trying hard to impress me. Bless him, Michael wanted me to like him, but at this stage, I was falling asleep on the hottest tunes of the year, in front of Camellia, who was prompting Michael’s oration by funny remarks.

While I was not carried away by Michael's monologue, I felt an oppressing look, almost as if I was being sucked towards something. In fact, it was the DJ. The man was checking me out, but I wasn’t a fan of the package: blond, the very old Rihanna’s asymmetrical bob haircut, blue eyes, slim, with a rainbow style of clothes. He wasn’t my type at all. I looked away and pretended to listen to Michael’s very [not] interesting discussion with his annoying I-Know-I-am–hot look. Camellia seemed to be under his spell. She couldn’t stop smiling and looking at him with loving eyes. I realised that I needed to understand why my best friend liked him so much and started asking him some questions that mattered more than his job.

A few minutes later, I totally understood why Camellia was so smitten by Michael. He was eloquent and cultivated with a great gentlemanly manner, handsome, a proper British accent and he looked at you like you were the most interesting person in the world. He was a great guy. I was so happy for her and could see them together as a couple. Camellia looked at me, searching for an approval sign. I raised an eyebrow as a “wow!” smiled and reassured them. “I am euphoric to finally meet you, Michael. You're a fantastic guy and I feel like Camellia will be happy around you. You are exactly the sort of man she needs. And I am confident you’ll make a great couple.” Yes, I may have overdone it but I wanted to dance so badly!

Camellia seemed relieved and kissed Michael politely on the lips. I smiled, I was so happy for her and started questioning if I should join Celest Connections one day.

The party ended, and Leon began his after-party; food, music, drugs and crazy guests. Whilst I was congratulating Stephanie for her work with Camellia and Michael, the DJ came and joined our conversation. That was where I took a closer look at him. He really was not my type, but something in him was sincere. Why was this guy so dishevelled?

DJ started getting closer and closer to me, but oddly not with the same approach he had had with the other girls. He went on tiptoe, with less arrogance and certitude. He was cute, and when Stephanie left, we started to remake the world all night. The Dom Perignon made DJ Thor looked sexier by the minute.

Then, around 5am, probably fuelled by alcohol, DJ Thor and I kissed. Inexplicable! Camellia was long gone to lecture me and everybody was acting crazy and nonsensical.

So, Meet DJ Thor. Primary occupation: super-popular DJ who had made his reputation in the Nordics and was constantly travelling around the world. He had a girlfriend at each airport and they all knew about each other. Frankly, it did not bother me at all, and I was not interested in a serious relationship with him. In fact, I enjoyed the flirt and the fun of it. So it was in this form that my relationship with DJ Thor began.

Date No.1

I was amazed to discover how well educated DJ Thor was. We spent the rest of the night talking about art, culture and politics. I had been very quick to judge the book by his cover and I almost apologised to him, yet I didn't. After all, DJ Thor didn't know that I had thought he was the oddest DJ on earth when I had first seen him. We exchanged our numbers for an official date the following evening.

I went back home, collapsed in my bed, and woke up around 3pm. I hadn’t slept that late in a very long time. I had just enough time to get ready and join DJ Thor for our planned afternoon tea at 5pm at the Ritz.

In the cab I thought, why on earth did I decide to go to the Ritz with that crazy looking DJ? I wished we had chosen a funkier place in Shoreditch or East End. I wasn’t sure DJ Thor’s appearance would be appropriate at the Ritz, but I had no choice but to go now. Why on earth did he want to go there? And how could he possibly feel comfortable there?

At the Ritz, I didn't recognise him at all. He had removed his funky clothes, got rid of what was apparently a wig, and binned his fur coat.

So now, meet Sölvi: 34, Icelandic international DJ, short wavy blond hair, deep dark almond blue eyes, hitting the gym every day to make an elegant body to die for. Oh my! Sölvi was hot!

Sölvi was quite a renowned DJ and he was very proud of his accomplishments. In fact, he asked me if I had Googled him. I hadn’t, so he Googled himself and showed me the results. I discovered that he had entertained private parties all around the world, for famous faces like Madonna, Beyoncé, Britney Spears and more. In fact, his Facebook was full of pictures of celebrities. But, I was on a date with Sölvi, not DJ Thor, which he said were two different personas from two different worlds. I genuinely liked Sölvi more.

Date No.2

We were just kissing goodbye on the cheeks. And, I was about to hail a cab when Sölvi said to me, “Let’s do something crazy tonight!” I was thrilled at the idea. “Give me ten minutes.”

Sölvi started talking on the phone in Icelandic and next thing I knew, I was on a private jet full of champagne, heading to Reykjavik.

I was mega-excited. We were kissing like two passionate lovers. I knew I would probably never see him again in my life, but for once, I didn't care. I just followed my primary and bestial needs, and I was lecherous. I wanted to kiss him and he wanted to lick my lips. I wanted to sex him up and Sölvi was horny. We had sex in the jet. Here was my second real one-night-stand. It was the most intense sex I had ever had in my life. Being so high in the sky, feeling so high, sensing so much pleasure with a wine-altered brain, was a fantastic combination for the intercourse. It was passionate, sensual, and the Viking’s manhood was intense and pleasurable. His sweat was an aphrodisiac.

We arrived at Reykjavik Airport private airport around 9pm that night; a car was waiting for us on the tarmac.

The night was bright and beautiful, so Sölvi took me straight to Grótta Lighthouse where I admired the Northern Lights like a child admires his first Christmas tree; it was just majestic. We arrived right on time, as though Sölvi and the Lights had agreed a date and place. It was unbelievable and I was dumbfounded. We had passionate kisses under the lights and then Sölvi and I were driven to unknown and exciting destinations.

The experience was all so surreal. The driver drove us to see lots of dramatic scenery. Sölvi and I had the pleasure to see Reykjavik by night and its most cherished treasures such as the Þingvellir National Park, Gullfoss Waterfall, and Geysir where the earth's North American and Eurasian plates pulled apart. I enjoyed seeing Geysir and its geothermal waters and the cascades of Gullfoss Waterfall, where a glacial river thunders 32m into a canyon.

Around midnight, we decided to go dancing with other Vikings in B5, one of the best clubs in Reykjavik, or so I was told. “A place for ladies like you,” said Sölvi.

When we arrived, the bouncer in front of the club recognised Sölvi, so we jumped the queue in front of the crowd who looked at me like I was Whitney Houston. In the club, we sat in the VIP corner where Sölvi introduced me to one of his VIP friends, including a footballer named Kolbeinn. I looked at him with a disbelieving smile, wondering which team he played for, as I had never heard of him. Yet, a few months later, he was the one sending England home from the 2016 European Football Championship.

All through the night, Sölvi and I, were constantly interrupted by men and women coming to greet me, talk to me, and get to know me. I had smiles, hugs and kisses. I was a novelty there. There were indeed not a lot of black girls in Iceland.

As far as I am concerned, scrutinising the crowd, I had never seen so many blonds in my life. I felt like I was in another world. Blonds had never been my type, but these Icelanders had managed to make me change my mind. It was like Hotties Only Night, they were just very delicious. Pale yet hot (an English-man would look Spanish next to them), cold but funny, slim yet very masculine, and so open-minded. That night became one of the most amazing nights I had ever had in my life. Around 4am, we took the jet back to London where two chauffeurs were waiting for us at Farnborough airport.

I kissed Sölvi goodbye and I never saw him for real again. We tried to get in touch a couple of times, but life tore us apart, and we never had the opportunity to meet again. I liked the experience, and until this very day, DJ Thor and Sölvi have held a special place in my heart. Life went on and I had to write other chapters in my life. Next!