I had just landed in London from Los Angeles, when I listened to my voicemails, and one of them was, “I missed you so much. It's so hard not to have you in my life. I don't want to be your enemy. I was angry with you and I tried to kill myself upon our divorce. I had so much love for you, it was killing me, killing my soul, killing my sanity. I wanted to hurt myself. I couldn’t stay in London anymore. You're still in my heart, baby doll."

It was Pierre. That call was weird. After all that time, I had my closure, I wasn't sure I wanted new drama now. A few weeks later, Pierre sent the following email to me: “Hi baby doll. I will be in London for two weeks from tomorrow. It would be cool to meet for a drink or coffee. I’ll be staying at the Mandarin Hotel in Knightsbridge."

I didn’t want to meet him. I wasn’t in the mood to see my former husband that week, after arguing over the phone with Taylor (story very coming soon). It was too hard for me to handle presently. I was in an emotional state of mind. I thought it was too risky, so I didn’t reply back and forgot about his trip to London.

The Date (?)

Monday evening, I was in front of my laptop, very proud to have sold one of the most profitable pieces of art I had ever had since I’d started my business. I was in the mood to celebrate. I was about to call Camellia, when an unknown number called me.

“Allo?”

“Val?”

“Yes!”

“It’s Pierre.”

“Oh, Pierre! How are you?” I responded back with a big smile in my voice.

“I am great. I wondered what you were doing in the next couple of hours.”

“I am at home now, but in the mood to celebrate. I’ve just sold a sculpture for £90,000! I’m so happy!”

“Would you like to have a drink then? On me? We could meet at the Mandarin?”

“Wow! The Mandarin! Business is good then?”

“I am working at the Mandarin Baby Doll. What about 8pm? I'll have a break around that time.”

“Well, I don't really like to go to your workplace. I'd rather go somewhere else. What about Tattersalls Tavern?”

“Is it expensive?”

“Excuse me? It’s a pub. Why? You wanted to invite me to the Mandarin!”

“Well, it would have been on the client’s note.”

It reminded me why I had divorced him. Pierre was so greedy and was always taking advantage of other people’s money like usual. And, it had been my money in the past.

I replied, "The drinks will be on me. See you at 8pm at Tattersalls Tavern.”

As soon as I hung up, I was nervous; I was overtaken by an overwhelming banging migraine. I had to find tablets urgently.

Thirty minutes and two tablets later, I was ok and was heading towards my date (?).

Pierre was in front of the Tattersalls Tavern. Even with an additional shocking two stone on his body, I recognised my former husband. The whole style made him look like a snowman; he had now grey hair and looked like he was in his fifties. He had changed so dramatically in two years. I could tell he was struggling with life. We simply hugged tenderly. We were both happy to see each other.

“How are you?”

“I'm fine, let’s get inside,” I breathed relieved.

“You look amazing! Not a grey hair, not a wrinkle! You're still beautiful!" he complimented.

I had to return a compliment, “You’re in good shape for someone on antidepressants.”

“No, I’ve put on so much weight!”

We walked into the pub and sat at a table. We smiled at each other for a few seconds, talking with our eyes. It was great to see Pierre.

After asking me a few questions about my professional life, and being quite shocked that I had quit the job I liked and had fought so hard to get. Pierre was babbling about his life and how many assignments he had received from all over the world.

He was earning a significant amount of money and he finally had the job of his dreams: being the bodyguards of High Net Worth Individuals.

I was listening to him, scrutinising his body language, his gestures, his eyes. All I could see were lies, lies and lies. I knew Pierre was lying; yet I decided not to say anything. My head was banging so much it was unbearable. Pierre asked, “Are you okay?”

I responded, “No, I am not. I have this migraine – I think it is caused by one of my teeth. I don't know, it happened all of a sudden, and now I am just dying!”

“You’re so extra!” Pierre replied, “You’ve always been dramatic.”

“I swear; it hurts.” Pierre gave me tablets, which instantly calmed my migraine. Wow, I had had four of them in less than three hours. Not a good sign.

My migraine calmed down and I looked at Pierre straight in the eyes, “Pierre, I have never told you this, but I would like to apologise for not being as supportive as I should have been with your businesses. We should have acted more like a team to that extent, and I wasn't. I suppose I was scared off by my first investment in you.”

Tears rolled down Pierre’s face, “You’ve always been the strongest in our relationship. You’ve always been the more successful one, earning more money. Yes, you are right, you should have invested more money in my British business.”

I clarified, "To be fair, Pierre, I was more talking about emotional and business support, not financial support. I think I should have used my marketing skills to try to build an empire with you.”

I waited a few minutes waiting for apologies, which never came from him. I was surprised Pierre didn't want to apologise for all his lies and his faults. He simply looked at me and smiled, “I really missed you, you have no idea baby doll. I never cheated on you. I flirted, I was tempted, I chatted up girls, but I swear to God, I never cheated on you. I loved you and I will always love you. You are my first love.”

“I know.” I simply responded but I could not care less today.

I had divorced him for the whole package of lies I found; for the debts he had accumulated behind my back; for the fact that he was waiting for things to come to him rather than fighting for them. We were different. I was searching for something else. I wanted to conquer the world and Pierre wanted to conquer Chelsea. We had different ambitions.

Our couple had been solid until I discovered all the lies, which I suppose, made things harder for our divorce. Pierre hated that I hadn’t given him another chance. His love transformed into a very deep rage and loathing. We couldn’t speak properly anymore whilst communication had always been our forte.

I just replied, “Okay,” but sensing the cold atmosphere at our table I added, “I have to admit, I missed you too. Our daily lunch calls were the most unbearable loss. Those were the moments that made me realise that you would not be in my life anymore and it hurt."

Pierre reminded me, “I hate to rain on this, but I have to go back to work. It would be fun to catch up again before I go. I enjoyed tonight."

We left the pub and my migraine took over again. Pierre knew me. “What’s wrong with you? Let me have a look.”

“No!” I shouted, “You can’t do that!”

“Come on! I’ve seen worse and more of your body than this, baby doll.”

“No, no, no, please Pierre, don’t do this here!”

Pierre took my head between his hands, asked me to open my mouth and declared, “Baby doll, you have an abscess. You have to go to the dentist.”

“What! That can’t be possible! How? Why?”

“Here are a few tablets for you for the night, but you will need to go to the dentist first thing tomorrow!”

“God! I am so busy tomorrow!”

“Yes, beauty! Look after yourself and let’s catch up before I go.”

“Okay,” I moaned, my voice full of pain.

I caught a cab and went back home in pain, looking forward to my bed.

Post-date

At home, I was glad I had met up with my former husband. It was a lovely evening and despite him not being accountable for his mistakes, I enjoyed seeing him. I missed our friendship and the closeness I had had with him; I could say anything and everything.

The following morning, I went to see an emergency dentist. My left cheek was swollen. I couldn’t feel it anymore.

And yes, it was an abscess! I had to see my own dentist to proceed with a treatment. The emergency dentist gave me stronger tablets and recommended I saw my dentist as soon as possible. I was really upset, but happy I had efficient and stronger tablets to take in the meantime.

That week, I received a few texts from Pierre, and I couldn’t believe that he thought I wanted to get back with him! He was already considering living back in London. I was horrified. How in hell did he imagine that I wanted him back?

I started to think that the whole friendship idea with my ex-husband was a bad one. He wasn't ready at all. For a few days Pierre sent texts about us living back together, loving me more than ever, having our baby, registering his company in the UK and searching for a place to live. I soon had over 50 texts per day with hearts and kisses emojis. I tried to make him understand that I wasn’t up for a relationship but he ignored me.

So, I took the matter very seriously. Was it my fault? Maybe?

Because I had healed, that didn’t mean that my former husband had as well, and I had probably ignored the signs. All I wanted was to get in touch with him. I wanted to be a close friend of his.

I had to be rough and honest, and with Bianca’s help, I texted something along these lines: < Dear Pierre, I am sorry you misunderstood my feelings. I just wanted to be honest with you and more importantly put the final full stop on “us”. I needed closure that I found upon our meeting. I also realised that today, if I had met you, I wouldn’t look twice at you and I wouldn’t consider you to be my boyfriend. I have seriously changed Pierre; I am not that 22-year-old girl you met a couple of years ago. I had mature. London has changed me, and I am now dreaming ultra-big! I feel like it’s not an ambition I want to accomplish with you. I am sorry if I hurt you. I wasn’t meant to. Maybe we should just part ways with the best memories of our marriage. >

All I heard back from him was: <You are such an evil woman. The only reason why I do not wish for your doom is because of my faith! Go to hell you bitch! I am so happy I am leaving this fucking country tonight. Adieux, I hope to never see your face ever again in my life. >

From that day forth, I decided to never reply to his emails, and curiously, when I went to my dentist, it was as if my abscess had never existed. It appeared with Pierre and was gone with Pierre. His presence literally made me sick. That chapter of my life was now definitely closed. Pierre was part of my past and always would be. I was grateful I had met him. I was grateful I had divorced him. I was thankful I had learned so much from him and our relationship because it was probably why I was now where I needed to be. Pierre crossed my path and made me change my whole outlook on life, and I would always be grateful for that.

Also, now I was a proud divorcee. I had learned from my mistakes. I knew what I wanted; I know where I was going. And I couldn’t wait to challenge myself, day after day, with more surprises, more fun, more discoveries. I could now safely move on without regret. I was loving my life, still learning from my mistakes, and taking full responsibility of my actions. I was prepared to write a whole new fresh chapter of my life, next!