It was ten past three now. God, these girls should be on time at least sometimes! I mean it’s permissible if it’s just another day and you haven’t a thing to do except yawn. But certainly not now! You want to do away with these things quickly; you do not want to wait at a doctor’s clinic knowing beforehand that a syringe is going to drill your butt. Idle mind is devil’s workshop. Indeed! I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t stand. All I could do was fidget with my hands.
Her words kept echoing in my ears. I wouldn’t take ‘I haven’t thought of you that way’ this time. No sir, I wouldn’t. she’d have to be clear as a crystal. No diplomatic dilly-dallying this time around! For heaven’s sake, ‘the bell must have rung’, as the romanticists say, by now if there existed one. I had violins plying havoc in my mind! Tell me Shreya, if I am not the one. And I was afraid too. For a refusal this time could well mean the end of my innings. And I knew I could never be ‘just her friend’. Finally mademoiselle called. I got myself together.
“Hi”
“So, late again!”
“Sorry, but dad called up. So… what were you doing?” “Nothing, just came down to the park, so that I could talk with you peacefully. To be more specific, I was starting at the grass.” “Alright! Are there no girls in your park today?”
“No, not at this hour. People prefer to stay indoors at this extremely lethargic time of the day.”
“Right! Sad for you.”
“Not at all, sometimes I prefer to be in solitude with nature.” “Sorry for disturbing you, sir.”
“it’s okay. Shreya, I want to talk to you about something,” I came to the point straight away.
“Oh my God! What is it now?”
I wondered what to say and how to start.
“I don’t know if I am rushing into this or not, but all I know is that it’s very important for me to clear some things.”
“like?”
“You know like what, Shreya.”
“Still tell me,” she said slowly.
It was tough to say that again but she had forced me to say it, “About your feelings for me,” Shreya.”
There was that killing silence again. I closed my eyes and tried to cool myself. “Please Tejas, this will not be the end. There are other girls,” I said to myself . “But no one will be like her,” retorted another voice. “Please don’t say no, Shreya I know you like me,” I finally prayed.
“What do you think, Tejas?”
“Please don’t fool around, Shreya, I don’t know anything. Please tell me.”
“Okay, see you are a very good friend, Tejas…” I could see the axe coming in that so sweet and polite style. Sweet and polite, my foot! “…and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I get it, Shreya. I won’t ever ask you again…”
“Let me finish what I have to say firs. Promise me… you’ll remain my best friend forever. Promise me, Tejas.”
I tried to control m emotions. There was a lump in my throat. I could hold my tears as long as I didn’t say a word. I was angry with myself for being so sentimental.
“Promise me!” she repeated again. “I promise, bye for now,” I managed to say and a tear slipped down my cheek. So that was it. It was all over. She didn’t love me.
“Wait! Promise me another thing.”
“What?” I asked, trying to sound normal.
“Promise me you will always remain my best friend if I tell you that I love you.”
I don’t know if I’ll be able to put in words my feelings. It was so sudden and subtle, her declaration. Almost like a sudden shower on an oppressing day. And no, I did not smile for I wanted to be sure she had said that.
“What?”
“I love you, Tejas!”
“I love you, too.”
“I know that.”
Finally I wiped my eyes and decided to smile. An ever so small one.
“So… why didn’t you tell me?”
“Boys ask first, you dumbo.”
“But I did, last time.”
“Then I wasn’t sure but now that I was, I wanted you to ask me.” “Girls! A curious species indeed! I hope I understand you some day.”
“Best of luck!” she giggled.
“Thanks! But do tell me, what made you decide on me this time? I’ll try and remove the misconceptions.”
“Shut up! You still haven’t made the promise.”
“Oh! I’ll think about it.”
“What do you mean you’ll think about it?”
“I mean… it takes time to decide on matters of heart. Who knows better than you, your Highness?”
It was nice to be on top, for once.