I was surprised when Lena started taking such an interest in me. She actually seemed genuinely surprised to learn that I had worked for everything I have and she seemed moved when she learned that I made sure my parents were looked after. I also made sure my grandmother was looked after and I gave a ton of money to charity too but I didn’t want Lena to think I was just blowing my own trumpet by pointing all of that out.

There was no need for Lena to be putting the act on because there was only me and her there from our group and other times when it had been just the two of us, she hadn’t bothered with the act. So that meant I had to believe, no matter how far fetched it seemed, that Lena wasn’t all bad. In fact, when she let her guard down a little bit, she was actually quite a nice person. This reminded me of my earlier thought about how she had always seemed to be cold to me, even before she had time to know she didn’t like me and I decided that while things were going well, I was going to ask her about that.

I went back to the table with our drinks, and I sat down. I gave Lena her drink and she thanked me. I held my glass up.

“To old enemies becoming new friends,” I said, hoping I hadn’t read the situation wrong after all, because if I had, I was going to look awfully stupid with that toast.

Lena smiled and clinked her glass against mine.

“To old enemies becoming new friends,” she repeated and then she smiled at me again and took a drink from her glass.

“So, you’ve asked me loads of questions about me and my life tonight. Let me ask you one,” I said.

Lena nodded for me to go on.

“When I first met you, I thought you were one of those trophy wife type women. Hot but miserable, like the idea of smiling would make your face crack and you would marry someone hot and rich and you would both live unhappily ever after,” I said.

“Oh my God no,” Lena said, laughing. “That couldn’t be further from the truth. I would much rather be single than in an unhappy relationship.”

“Well, I have started to think that I might have been wrong about you. I’ve saw the mask slip a few times this week and underneath it all, you’re not as much of an ice queen as you’d like me to believe you are. So, here’s my question; why are you so cold and unapproachable with me? And don’t say it’s because you don’t like me because you were like that before you had a chance to get me know enough to know whether or not you liked me,” I said.

“I wouldn’t say I was cold to you,” Lena said but she looked away, refusing to meet my eyes as she said it.

“Right,” I said. “And I suppose the chill blains I used to get in the office whenever you looked at me weren’t because of you then huh?”

Lena snorted out a short laugh but then she shook her head, and she did look at me when she spoke again.

“It’s nothing personal,” she said. “It’s not just you I keep at arm’s length. Other than my immediate family and Callie, who has been my best friend since as long as I can remember, I don’t let anyone get close and I find if I am nice to people, they want to get close. So, I am cold. Civil, polite, but cold.”

“But why Lena? I don’t get it. You’re a nice person when you let yourself be. Why don’t you want people to like you?” I asked her.

“It’s not so much that I don’t want people to like me. I have just accepted that a side effect of being cold and civil is that most people don’t like you. I made my peace with it but it’s not really my end goal,” Lena said.

“So, what is your end goal?” I asked, well and truly confused now.

“I don’t want to let anyone get close because I don’t want to become dependent on anyone. I don’t want to like anyone enough that them not being around anymore will bother me,” she said.

“Oh Lena,” I said. “Isn’t that an awfully lonely way to live?”

She shrugged her shoulders.

“I suppose in a way it is yeah, but it’s better than the alternative,” she said.

“What? Having friends and people who care about you?” I pushed her.

“No. It’s … not like that,” she said. She sighed and carried on talking without me having to push her this time. “A good few years ago, I met who I thought was the love of my life, my soul mate, whatever you want to call it. We were so happy together. Everything was amazing. I should have known it was too good to be true.”

She paused and I saw the unshed tears shining in her eyes. I was interested in where this was going but at the same time, I hadn’t meant to upset her, and I was starting to regret asking her about this.

“I … He was my whole world and then he died in a car accident and I have never felt pain like it. I genuinely don’t know how I got through it. But I know that I could never ever live through pain like that again. And the best way to make sure I never have to is to never get close enough to anyone to care one way or the other about them,” she said.

I moved to the seat beside hers and took her hand in mine and squeezed it.

“I’m so sorry Lena,” I said. “I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you, especially when you were so young.”

She sniffed and tried to smile but her bottom lip wobbled slightly, and she picked her drink up and took a big gulp from it to hide her pain. It didn’t work. I could see her pain as clearly as if it was written in the air between us.

“I don’t mean this to sound rude, and feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but do you really think that’s what you’re doing is a healthy way to cope with your grief? I mean have you considered therapy or something instead?” I asked.

Lena laughed at that, and I relaxed slightly. I could see beneath the laughter she was still upset but she didn’t look quite as devastated as she had only seconds ago.

“I thought I was handling it the best way I could and for a long time, that was true. It was working for me, but now, well now not so much,” she said.

“And why’s that?” I asked.

She gave me another sad smile.

“Because I met someone who managed to get over the wall,” she said.

A fat tear spilled from her eye as she said it and I reached up and used my thumb to wipe it away from her cheek. She looked at me as I touched her, and I looked back and then our lips were on each other’s, and we were kissing.

While there was passion in the way we held each other as we kissed, the kiss itself was filled with more than just lust. It was deep and passionate, but it was also tender and full of emotion. When we broke apart, I could see the surprise I felt mirrored back to me on Lena’s face.

“I’m not going anywhere, Lena,” I said, my voice coming out low and husky.

She didn’t reply. She just stood up, took my hand, and led me back to our room. I had a feeling that whatever happened next, I wouldn’t be spending the night on the couch.