Acknowledgment
Essentially, there ain’t anything like a story. There are pieces of truths; when you join them, in certain specificity; story happens. Something has happened; Beyond that; something you wish, should have happened; you say that; story happens. Anyhow; heart gets soaked, filled up; story happens… Words become too heavy, like tears, they tumble down; story happens… The void and nothingness inside, begins to speak; story happens. Probabilities; in perfect nakedness; align with innocence of consciousness; they fall in love; romance happens; story happens…!
The emotions and expressions in this fictional eBook have not been planned. They probably couldn’t be. They happened; as story happens. If there could be a perception and cognition of reality; Beyond popular acceptances; this eBook may have the reflection of it. Often; reality seeds up, in the soil of unconscious; the subconscious nurtures them. Unawaringly; the seeds germinate, blossom up. The conscious only displays the flowers they bear to people and milieus. Reality happens; story happens. Writer is just a stupid media to showcase; with whatever little ability he or she has, what the reality and story engenders...
However; what has been planned and intended; in this fictional work, by this writer, is writing in ‘Woman-Centric’ sensitivities. For a man; probably; the primary ‘Beyond’ has to be the domain and dimension of womanlike cognition. Innately; everythingness; even Beyond, is dedicated to feminine grace, poise and purposes. May they lead sanity, system, sensitivities and Beyond. The nature; energies of evolution works this way…
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Thanks For Your Magnanimity; Beyond Begins To Shape Up Now...
The Orchestra Has Stopped. The symphony has been played out. All musicians have left the stage, one by one. Audience has cleared the aisle and on their way to parking. Lights are off. Only reflections of luminosity from outside have created the faint visibility of the stage. The audience area is darker. In the fullness of emptiness of darkness and vacuity, probability is gaining readiness. Rhythm is set to unleash; something catalytic; yet loaded with potentials of cataclysmic propensity.
The sole violinist, sitting on the floor of the stage, is still holding his instrument, clasping his hands around it, hugging to his heart. The warmth of the strings hasn’t faded yet. He looks up very casually, stares at the darkness of the hall. At the last row, on the farthest seat, there seems a shadow and it is not moving. It doesn’t matter to him…
Taking a last look at his violin, resting it for a while on the red satin; he smiles. Bowing down to the strings, he kisses the instrument gently. A hard bang on the concrete floor and the violin is smashed into pieces. The strings fly off and land beneath with one last sound of zing. He stands up. A heavy but low pitch humming sound follows into the high notes and he breaks into a song and sings it with his hands swaying up…
As he chooses to ignore the stage exit and steps down to walk towards the farthest exit meant for audience, he keeps singing but lowers his tone. The shadow on the farthest seat of the last row moves; claps twice, gently but firmly, as he makes his exit out of the hall…
***
Emancipation…! Is it the right expression? Is expression the true communication? Is communication the reality of actuality of emotions? Are they anyway needed? Nothingness; as it sways its ambience of musicality in every speck of beingness; is no emancipation! Is It? Emancipation is not even a probability; it is a mirage people chase, very much like life; never there, in substance but always standing tall, in front, in feel of expressions, communication; enticing somethingness; everythingness…!
The Big Bang was primeval emancipation…? May be…! Energies, matter, mustn’t be too heavy; too warped. Purpose, outcomes, reasons, eventualities; they are all too heavy and clumped realities. Big Bang has to happen; it must; to emancipate, free, release, unfetter, unleash, unwarp and unwind… It unchains the incarcerated; trapped-clumped energies and initiates the processes of probabilities to unleash dimensions of realities…
Big Bang has to happen… Galaxies have to happen; stars have to shape up, planets and lives have to acquire dimensionality. The cosmos has no purpose; but it probably has processes. The processes are innate, embedded, entrenched. The matter happens; anti-matter follows… Electron happens; positron follows… Black Hole happens; White Hole follows… Conflict and contradiction are processes. Attainment happens; emancipation must follow…
Probabilities need to journey novelty of pathways; in unreasoned and unpurposed causalities. Causalities too need be emancipated of outcomes; especially the preferred, benchmarked ones. Freedom, like life, seeks myriads of expressions to install its substantiality and then; the corruption and mediocrity of outcomes seed up. Processes pathway everything…
It takes so much time; billions of years. Journeying of probabilities is a long; very protracted one. Life is too fragile; too miniscule, ephemeral! Billion realities and their zillion probabilities line up for staging their symphonies within a few years of life; living! Every passing hour is squandering millions of probabilities. The slavery; fettered consciousness, itself inviting the diamond studded thick chains to clamp around existence!
The purpose, outcomes; reasonability and attainments are so crippling and incarcerating. The audience; applause, encores and approvals are out to negate probabilities. The ever-culpable and failed romanticism with trepidation, apprehensions, unsettledness and a never-ceasing yearning for wearing, flaunting the jewelry of successes; especially the benchmarked populist ones, stands as the big bulky sentinel of self-validation, on the portals of novel-alternative probabilities of realities. Slavery is subconsciously purchased; at un-measurable costs. Journeys, however, need no approval; no applauses; not even benchmarking of successes. Journeys seek no expressions; no self-validation either. They happen; like life happens and they unchain, unfetter, unreason and emancipate. Processes pathway everything…
Emancipation is tough; that’s why required! To unleash…! Big Bang must always happen; in cyclicality and perpetuity. Potentials must never be baptized and assigned to ritualistic routines of righteousness, appropriates and successes. Why? Probably because, the very nomenclature and reality of ‘Must’ is a possible slavery! Why life ‘must’ happen? Why purpose ‘Must’ happen? Why success ‘Must’ happen. Even probabilities ‘Must’ not always happen! Mortality happens; even when everyone seeks, it ‘Must’ never happen…
Potentials are probabilities and they blossom in the innate milieus of honesty, innocence, affection and compassion. Freedom and liberty are not the right expressions. Compassion has the potential for emancipation. Emancipation also carries the burden of ritualism and egoism. Compassion also unconsciously seeks validation and commerce of bartered exchanges. Journeying is alighting, the burden and travel with bare basics. Journeying itself is a universe of causalities. Life itself is a cosmos of probabilities of causalities. Journeying and life need no external and cognitive causalities of human cultural commerce.
Nakedness is the causality; it does not require the external, cultural, expressional, ritualistic causality of ‘Without Clothes’. Causalities are not witnessed this way. Outcomes do not shape up the cause. Unclothing cannot define nakedness; should not. Innate cannot be shaped up by definitional ritualism of negation of synthetic realism. Nakedness cannot be seen from the perspective of fabrics and its negation. Negation cannot be emancipation…
Nakedness is not un-wearing. Emancipation from clothing is not nakedness. Nude is innate availability. Nothingness is not lack of somethingness or freedom from everythingness. Nothingness is innate availability. You do not do anything for nakedness of nothingness. It is what it has always been. Effort for attainment is enterprise in egoism and ritualism.
Culturally, unleashing has to begin with ritualism of egoism. Unleashing begins as an enterprise as, since childhood, every action and behavior have been trained to be energized by egoism of unconscious and subconscious. Emancipation; unleashing cannot escape the ritualism of egoism. The consciousness has to exercise its protagonistic attitudes to ensure emancipation. Nakedness has to be processed; un-wearing has to happen; consciously, clothes have to be put off. Consciousness, as a media, ‘Must’ at least announce; it intends unleashing! The ritualism of stage performance and encore must happen; habitually; procedurally.
Habituality is preferred slavery of humanity – unconscious, subconscious; even willfully conscious. Brain design is in deep infatuation with habituality. It is the primeval causality to optimize survival. But then, brain and mind consciousness is no way restricted to evolve and diversify love and look beyond habitual romance.
Life itself becomes a habit. The guardians of cultures tell you to make success as habit. You Must never be; naked and nothing. As a habit; some purpose and some occasion to ‘dress up’ is always present. We always wear so many purposes and very innately, the consciousness has a full and overflowing wardrobe; different shades and styles of marvelous fabrics, to suit all occasions. Successes and approvals; as habitual rituals; have to follow. Slavery is habitual; egoism seeks successes of slavery. Ritualism ensures; audiences never go home, before applauding…
***
… The Big Bang has happened. Emancipation was decided and it has begun to happen. The process is well at place. The probabilities are now waiting in the wings. So are the rituals of freedom and unfettered-ness. The smashed violin, late at night after his last performance, has been heard by all. As he slept the night in complete nakedness; the media worked in full might to dress it up with all probabilities of attributions and shades of meanings. As he shall wake up; the world shall also, with the heralding of the insinuations of his smashed violin. He however shall wake up to his own consciousness. He shall greet the dawn with nakedness of nothingness. He slept with this resolve. The rituals and probabilities however, he could not frame up. It shall unravel as the day shall progress. The Sun is preparing its march and shall be out in an hour.
For the last 45 years of his life, since he landed on the cradle, he has been with this instrument. Applauds and standing ovations have been part of his life for the last 25 years as he remains the most acclaimed violinist of the world. Success has been a habit and approvals have been ritualistically available. Life however is always a mixed bag. People love his music. The critics and media have never spared a chance to find fault with his personal life-living and run him down for what they felt, he hasn’t achieved; therefore not to be a great as yet! The external perspective always finds the missing ‘Must’, which someone has not yet pocketed and therefore, is yet to sit settled on the pedestal of prominence.
The Big Bang was his staged ritualism for announcing his emancipation; not to the world but himself. Somehow, the 25 years of slavery of purposefulness had necessitated it. Necessity however, is not always the prime energy of actionability. Ultimately, something has to happen not because it is necessary to happen. It happens because consciousness becomes breathless and the suffocation of clumped energies themselves seeks emancipation. Nothing can happen in definitive certainty if consciousness is habitually in blissful drift of energies. The blocked, clumped energies smother consciousness and make it breathless. The Big Bang happens to emancipate consciousness from definitive death and smash away all suffocating energies of purposes to allow and invite novel probabilities. Nakedness of nothingness is the primary need; probabilities may not happen; they automatically rush in to fill in the void.
Dawn is not truly the beginning of the day. It may actually be an anticlimax of the initiation of the design of the night. Time is intuitively designed this way for human cognition. It is another slavery of habituality. Essentially, light is innately antagonistic to the reality of nakedness. The darkness and improbabilistic lap of night is true theatre of nakedness to unleash its beauty, grace, poise and purposelessness. Dawn and its golden lights are invite to dressing up of purposes. The wardrobe is full of them but tragically enough; all the dresses adorning the wardrobe is a gift by someone, expecting you to wear them to make you look what they thought you should. Nakedness is innate and wholly personal wardrobe. The skin we wear is no gift.
Nothing internal is easy to be attained if externalities are out in the open and in luminosity of the day, to barge in. Causalities are always neutral. They present equal and full faces of both utility and futility. It is about, which side of the information of reality, your consciousness aligns with. When externalities are exited, their habitual acoustics are subdued or fully unworn; the dimensions inside present alternatives. Nakedness ain’t ritual but initially; it has to be consciously manufactured to ensure freedom from externalities…
He still lies in his bed. Years back, he has understood and accepted the futility of enterprise to stop the brain. Slavery of milieus and its causalities is what brain is designed for. It simply cannot accept stoppages. The very emergent and incessantly actionable mind mechanism and its optionlessness, is what he has unraveled after loads of still and leisurely inactionability. He knows; it took him more than a decade to master his craft of musicality; especially the instrument he played; to align to his imagery of realities. He accepts; it shall take him long, before he innately masters the artistry of nakedness and nothingness. The mind consciousness may attain freedom overnight but its deep and habitual slavery shall go away only gradually and that too with conscious enterprise. He is in no hurry. He has at least witnessed the space beyond timeliness feel. He knows how to be on the better side of ritualism of time.
With his coffee mug in his hands, he sits watching the blue sky, which stretched from his window to infinity. He can see; there is probabilities beyond the sky intuitiveness. The wind, clouds, rains, light, dust, storms, etc, he has lived out for years. He intends to see, feel, live and sustain beyond them; into the vastness of probabilities of space. Within; the landscape of his consciousness and life-living; he has lived out tears, smiles, successes, failures, adulations, condemnations, awards, etc. He knows; there are probabilities; precarious though; and he is definitely journeying them; as he has unleashed the process of Emancipation. The rituals have to fall in place…
Probably, the primary ritual, he begins to think; should be emancipation from the sky and landscape of Time. Lighting a cigarette, inhaling thick cloud of smoke inside his chest; he asks himself – How do I actually feel the 45 years of my life? What exactly is the singular metaphor of 45? In music, he has always created metaphors for every single note he played. He created a mental imagery of how a specific note of music would look like, if it stood in front of him in flesh and blood. He asks, ‘How would 45, the feel of it, look, if it stood in front of me, in physicality and tangibility?’
Probably; he begins to think; the ritual of emancipation must commence with tearing apart and throwing away the ‘dresses’ and make the Time stand in perfect nakedness in front of him. He asks himself, ‘Why bother what 45 should look, if it stood in front of me. Better that I strip it nude and then visualize, how it should look up now and beyond.’ He smiles! Confronting your own stupidities and prejudices can do nothing but make you smile; if you have the courage to accept them…
He smiles as he knows; he has this preferred penchant for nakedness. Nakedness itself is a limiting sky for most. He was blessed; he could see and journey beyond this limitation. Nakedness for him was not an expression and communication of sensuality and sensuousness. Nakedness brings him skin close to his own eventuality, fragility, transience and mortality. Nakedness roots him; makes him feel real and true. The usual utility of nakedness and its blissfulness is always there to imbibe and be grateful to. He smiles; he decides, this ritualism may itself be against the very idea of emancipation. He cannot undress Time and stand it naked. He wishes to journey an un-trodden path.
He has to compose a novel ritual to create an alternative metaphor of Time, as he stands to visualize ‘45’ and; beyond. If Time is a stage, full of frills of extremities of successes and failures and love and hate; he visualizes it as a mathematical proposition of 5+40. First five years of his life; as formless and purposeless child; he distinctly remembers, could stand out as one Time sky. Rest of the 40 he feels is almost like a passing second; or a canvass painted only with one red color, with no undulations and dimensions. The ‘40’, after the first ‘5’ almost stands equal as two separate and solid block of time. The 5 was formless and probabilistic. The 40 was formidable but deterministically flat and definitive. Either he was a child or a musician. Time was two different persons; equally successful or failed; equally precious or redundant.
Both 5 and 40 succumbed to the externalities of realities. The five surrendered to slavery of his father’s determination to make him a great musician. The 40 remained enslaved to public expectations, critics’ insinuations and worst; the domineering diktats of the musicality itself. He hates to see 5+40 = 45 into an imagery of a person in chains but wearing a long golden robe, bowing happily to applauding people; with his mind already beyond; on the next morning newspapers’ reviews. He, for sure, needs a fresh, novel and alternative imagery of 45…
Elements of causality have to be understood and unraveled. Suffocation has to be understood to unravel the existential probabilities of Emancipation. This 5+40=45 reality seems like an expression of suffocation, which has percolated deep down his consciousness. The suffocation of 45 is probably about a mathematical impropriety he is unconsciously feeling. Mathematically; this 45 should have looked 45 ‘ones’, in a row, standing one after another. What he however is seeing is 45 as just two ‘ones’ – one 5; another 40. This 5 = 40 = 1; this mathematical loss of actuality is suffocation?
May be; it is not suffocation but plainly consternation. Suffocation probably is more emergent and evolving realization like his own consciousness. There is a conflation of more elements in this causality of suffocation. He seeks to unravel it. Emancipation can wait!
This mathematics; the calculative instinct; this perpetual promptness to arrive at and remain with the equation of ‘pluses’ of personal profitability; may be causalities of suffocation. Mathematics is probably embedded in consciousness. Mind is constantly working mathematics of self-sustainability and self-validation. Even physics validates its veracity in mathematical metaphors of sustainability.
He probably is unable and unwilling to see and accept different dimensions of his mathematical calculations. He probably is accepting the volumes of 45 in two probable forms of 5 and 40 but unconsciously ignoring the mass of the two volumes. The 5 and 40 may feel equal in volumes but cannot be the same in mass. He probably was not willing to accept his mass-fullness of life-living as ‘40’ and counting it only as one volume. This happens with mathematical perspectives. Mathematics, often than necessary, may also be metaphors of human cognitive conflations.
He begins to think; is it the visceral mathematics embedded in layers of consciousness, he needs to unlearn and weed out, to initiate the process of emancipation? What does it matter, whichever way the 45 stands? The trouble probably is not in ‘45’ itself but in the mathematics of its equation vis-à-vis the optimal availability of 80. He understands and accepts; it is only one life of 80 fruitful years and once life is over; it is absolute nothingness. He asks himself, ‘If I cease to think about this mathematics; if I discount the juxtaposition of 45 vis-à-vis 80; can the suffocation go away? There cannot be a beyond after this life. Can there be a possibility of beyond, if I unlearn Time?’
He understands and accepts; there is an absolute limitation to journeying beyond. There is no beyond life. There is no journey beyond existence. There probably cannot be a beyond, in linear dimension of Time. The mathematics, the metaphors of physics probably can be amenable to a ‘beyond’ journeying but; consciousness cannot go beyond Time as it is synced with body and mind. There is nothing beyond life, after death and there probably is nothing beyond the Time dimension of ‘Present’. Consciousness cannot go beyond, in reverse Time of past; nor it can journey beyond in Time that is waiting to arrive at the dimension of present.
He begins to think; may be, there is nothing like 45 or for that matter 80. Every Time reality is only ‘one’. Time is only one. Many ones may be made to stand in linearity and ‘plused’ but its dimension shall always be expression of ‘One’. If Time is one dimensional; how can one go beyond? He begins to think, emancipation must seek a journey of beyond in realities, which have multidimensionality. What is that?
He begins to think; probably; only consciousness is multidimensional; rest of all realities are single dimensional. It is probably the multidimensionality of consciousness, which adds and extends its own dimensions into all realities. The physics and mathematics may also be expressions of the consciousness in its innate ability to engender dimensions. Consciousness probably is the singular probabilistic reality. It lends its probabilistic dimensionalities to all realities, which otherwise is singular or two-dimensional. Then probably; it is the consciousness, which is the sole and singular causalities of all probabilities of realities. It somehow is the Media of this Suffocation. It is also the media of the desirability of Emancipation. Can he be better off if he unlearns consciousness and go beyond it? Can he go beyond consciousness? How?
***
Self is the worst tool of mystery and mysticism. The reality manifests itself through this stupid yet infinitely powerful media of self. I or Me; the whole reality of externalities – the culture, civilization, different human systems, faith mechanisms and value-systems, etc are mesmerizing yet mystical expressions of reality, as processed and presented by this precarious media of self or I. He knows it; deep down, from his own thoughtfulness and life-living experiences; he cannot proceed further, let alone journeying beyond, before he arrives at the finality of ‘I’.
He begins to ask – Even the body, I say ‘Me’, is not mine. If anything in this ephemeral world I could seek to own and possess, it would first be my own body. But, it is impossible. My body I cannot possess and own. It is owned and possessed by mechanisms and processes beyond the control of me. Almost 98 percent is unconscious and subconscious. Only 2 percent is conscious, which I may stupidly call me. Its processes are beyond me and my controls. It is journeying its own decided pathways and I just cannot do anything. If this is the truth; if my body is not mine, how can its successes or failures be mine? How can the probabilities, the self engenders, be mine? If these probabilities are not mine; how and which way ‘I’ can ever disown or own them and even think of going beyond…?
He begins to think, if there is anything, which I may ever call ‘Mine’, is what I consciously and willfully make happen, definitively against the forceful causalities of my own body-brain, as well as the external purposes the cultures and milieus heap on me. But; can I go beyond and against my own body and mind? How? It seems; for this to be a possibility; there has to be two ‘I’s – one in favor and other against any positioning of life-living. But; both are I or Me. My yes or no; both are me and I. May be, if I do not align with either of the two; neither in favor and nor against; and just witness both extreme probabilities, without any attachments; may be, then, is it what I may call and stand to be in true possession of I or Me and therefore ‘Mine’…?
… But; even neutrality and witness is I – my own body and mine and it is still not Me! How actually then I can be beyond? How can I have emancipation from ‘I’ and unfetter ‘Me’ to journey probabilities, as beyond I? It essentially is a ‘something’ witnessing ‘nothingness’ and standing as neutral. Can ‘something’ truly and really witness ‘nothing’ and still arrive at it, without carrying along the shadow and perceptionability of ‘something’? If no, how can this ever be neutral? Even this nothingness then shall have weeds of unwanted somethingness. If yes; then how…?
He begins to ask; even nakedness is body specific reality. Can body and mind ever witness true, real and pure nakedness? Can I ever witness and sit in judgment of ‘I’? How can then it lead a journey beyond I, Me and Mine? Body is not mine and me; its probabilities are also not me and mine. If beyond is impossible, what is the justification of this emancipation journey? It seems; it is simply about which side of I or Me, ‘I’ stand and align with. If neutrality or witness is not beyond; then what is actually different being with or aligning with either of the two extremities of successes-failures and not aligning? Both are the same; though seemingly different only in their dimensionality? If all dimensions are only Me and Mine; where and how can there be a ‘Beyondness’…?
He begins to accept; this whole plexus of question and answers is the outcome of this dualistically cyclic causality of ‘I’ seeing I; ‘Me’ witnessing Me and ‘Self’ deciphering Self. He begins to accept that emancipation may actually never happen if he fails to unravel this mystical Causality and its Dualism. Freedom, unfettering and nakedness cannot have any meaning if this cyclicality or dualism of causality is not broken. The slavery is all within this mechanism and process of cyclicality of causality. This causality is what emancipation must first address. I must first emancipate itself from the causalities of ‘I’. But; he understands and accepts; he has no idea how this can ever happen…
He is, however, very determined. He has decided that the Big Bang has to happen inside this black hole of Causality of Dualism. He begins to understand and accept; probably, nothingness or nakedness is only for detachment from externalities. Nothingness probably cannot journey inside the black hole of Causality of Dualism. There probably cannot be any tool other than the ‘I’ itself, which can decipher and unravel the mysticism of I. The media alone can journey beyond causalities of information as the media is the sole processor of all information. Nothingness of media is impossible. Absolute nakedness of media is possible only through the enterprise of media itself. Who can undress ‘Me’ and look at my own nakedness other than me?
He begins to accept; the journey beyond is not about emancipation of somethingness and attainment of nothingness. The journey of beyond is probably about true and real owning of somethingness of ‘I’ so that this novel and alternative ‘I’ itself could be the potent tool to arrive at the everythingness of ‘I’. He accepts; he has to unlearn his old music grammar and learn novel and alternative notes to arrive at the melody and rhythm of the ‘I’, which he must at least understand in entirety; if not own and possess. Ownership is rather a subject top on the list of unlearning schedule…
There is no definitive me; only probabilistic ‘I’. It seems so. This ‘I’ in its holism and entirety is like a mound of clay. It is huge heap of Information. The linearity of Time; its manifestations in milieus, add water, make it a dough of clay. Then; as the demand and situation of milieus determine; different sizes, shapes and forms of ceramic toys and potteries are made out of the clay dough. A toy or a pottery made, and in retrospection of Time linearity, is definitive ‘I’. But, this transformation of probabilistic ‘I’ into a definitive ‘I’ happens only when Time changes dimensions and leads it into definitiveness of form. The ceramic toys and potteries are the memories of experiences, stacked and stored in brain states, available for profitable commerce to the ‘owner’ called consciousness.
Raw clay is always probabilistic; ceramic however, is definitiveness and an irreversible linearity. The ‘purpose’, which the consciousness opts, transforms the clay into ceramic. Information as clay is transformed into tangibility and definitude of reality, only when a purpose of water is added into it to change its form to exactitude. It seems like a destined journey of inevitability – the clay of information and its probabilistic multi-dimensionability seems innately aligned and synced to causality of Time linearity, which in turn unleashes the probabilities of ceramic definitiveness, as water of purposes are added. The toys and potteries happen. It is inevitable.
Does it mean; more, varied and amenable mound of clay of information is invite to larger and better probabilities? However, there is this critical element of ‘art and artistry’, to create definitiveness of ‘forms’ of ceramic reality, out of raw clay. There is a science of life-living, waiting for art and artistry to happen, to diversify it into multidimensionality. Information as probabilistic precariousness is of little use if there is no art and artistry to use it aesthetically and with commercial viability. Does this mean; consciousness as information processing media is useless, until ‘I’ or Self has this artistry to transform it into meaningfulness? If consciousness is science, what exactly is