My eighteenth birthday is a big deal. Trojan goes out of my way to make it special. In fact, he books out a section of Danes and I get to invite whoever I want to. And I do. Everyone is thrilled to be there and once again, I’m elevated to celebrity status in the eyes of my peers.
To my delight, many are envious too. About time someone got envious of me, I say and revel in it.
Nick is a problem. I approach him and try to handle this party thing with diplomacy.
“Hey, Nick.”
“Hey,” he says, a wary look in his eyes.
“I’d like you to come to my party. After all, we’re still friends.”
“No, thanks, I want nothing to do with that asshole.”
“Nick, it’s my party. He’s just throwing it for me. C’mon, you’re my friend and just think how many racist and politically incorrect jokes you can draw from the party. It’ll keep you going till the end of the year.”
“No.”
“Okay, okay. Why you mad at me, Nick? What have I done to you?”
Like you don’t know! “You ruined Brody’s life, Burn.”
“That’s not true! I cared so much about him and I left him when I realized just how much your family stood to lose if he dated me. I thought I did the right thing.”
“Well, things haven’t been the same because of you. Brody’s miserable now. But I can see you’re happy these days, very happy, in fact, so I guess all well then, right?”
“But isn’t he with Alicia?”
“No, they broke up long before he left.”
“But she was at your house the day…”
“They’re friends, Burn. That’s what friends do, they hang around.”
I fall silent.
He glances several times at me. What?
I shake my head slowly. “I miss him, you know.”
Join the club.
“Does he know about …you know, Trojan and …”
“No! Why rub his nose in it?”
I nod slowly. “If you change your mind, I would love you to come to my party. And Trojan – he’s not a bad guy, Nick. He’s helped me a lot. When Angel was taken away, he was my rock.”
“He’s a thug, Burn. You just don’t see it. Guys like that don’t give you anything without expecting something in return. Has he ..?”
“No!”
“He will. Wait and see. You’ve made a pact with Satan. ” He stands up. “Anyway, I gotta go.”
****
My birthday is on a Thursday, so my party at Danes is that Saturday. Trojan calls it my Birthday Week.
On the day of my birthday, Trojan takes us all to a restaurant -- Emily, Michael, Grover, Sofia, and of course, Angel and Riann.
I get on very well with Grover. He’s a cool, mature guy who is very different from Trojan – he’s calmer and levelheaded. He’s also in the music industry. Our dinner is loud and noisy and fun.
Trojan arranges everything and pays for it all, so I can just kick back and have a great time. He presents me with a beautiful diamond pendant on a white gold chain.
I’m stunned at how beautiful it is. I give him a hug and a kiss. With tongue.
“Now you can throw away this one,” he says and removes Brody’s thin gold chain from around my neck. I’ve never told him that it was Brody’s chain, but he’s probably figured it out.
With a smile, I pocket Brody’s chain and then play with the one around my neck.
“You’re eighteen now,” he whispers.
I grin. “I’m eighteen now,” I say.
We giggle and I look at the ground.
He lifts up my chin so he can look into my eyes. “Soon,” he says and wriggles his eyebrows.
I nod. He has no idea that I’m already taking contraceptives in anticipation of this big day.
“It’s gonna be special.”
I nod again and slide my arms around his neck to kiss him again. As I do, I feel a kind of lump behind Trojan’s neck.
“What is this?” I ask.
“Nothing,” he says and continues kisses me.
“What is it?”
“It’s a scar, Burn.”
“From what? Gunshot?”
“Knife wound.”
I jerk back, my eyes wide with astonishment. “A knife wound from who?”
He sighs and sits back. “It’s nothing. Why ya tripping?”
“Tell me.”
He sighs and sits back. “On the street – I was thirteen and I wouldn’t give up my sleeping spot to some bigger kid. He stabbed me, I stabbed him back and I got a scar.”
My hands fly to my mouth. “Ohmigod! What happened to him?”
He runs his hand slowly over his mouth.
“You killed him!” My voice is a whisper. “Ohmigod!”
“That’s the way it was, Burn. Kill or be killed. I’m not proud of what I did. I killed a kid.”
I look at him with my jaw hanging.
“So what now? You gonna stay away from me?” His eyes scan my face.
My response is to take him in my arms and hold him to me. “It must have been scary being stabbed.”
“It was. I was scared. It changed me.”
“You’ve been through so much, Trojan.” I hold his face with both my hands. “I wish I was there to help you.”
He snakes his arms around me and holds me really close and for a while we don’t talk – we just bask in each other.
****
My party at Danes is boozy and fantastic – like nothing I’ve ever experienced in my life. Everyone is there – all my friends and family – Carlene, fuckface Bobby, Lanie, Matt, Daisy, Foster, Emily and Michael, Lisa and James Farrell and all my school mates. Even Glenda Washington, the social worker is there. We’ve become friends.
Trojan runs up a tab so all drinks are on him. I get a ton of presents and I get drunk as a skunk with all the shots I take with everyone. We stagger out of the club around four the next morning.
One of Trojan’s guys drive us home, so Trojan and I cuddle in the backseat of the car.
“I’m ready to cash in,” he whispers and slides his hand up my skirt to grab my ass. “The day has come, baby. Come home with me.”
I giggle and grab his arm. ‘You want me sober, so not tonight. Tomorrow?”
He thinks about it and slowly removes his hand. “Monday. I’ll give you a chance to hangover in peace.”
“Date,” I say and we make out like crazy before he tears himself away.
I stumble inside and almost crawl into my bed.