Character, however, is what’s underneath the surface personality. It’s about the quality of your spirituality, your integrity, and inner strength.
You could have a very flashy, bright personality, yet be weak in character. Or, someone could seem meek as a mouse, but have a steely tenacity.
To become attractive, you need to work on having a strong character. Think of it as the foundation of what makes you handsome or beautiful, even under harsh scrutiny or stress. Without a solid character, no matter how physically gorgeous or amiable you are, when the going gets tough you’ll crack and an ugly side of you will appear.
You need to develop both character and personality. A winning personality is what draws people initially to each other, and what makes them fall in love. And a strong and stable character is what will make people stay in love.
We’ve already discussed in the previous chapters about expanding your horizons. This is precisely what will help you develop a strong character and an interesting personality!
Character cannot be faked. It’s born out of the joy and pain of life, and the choices you make in dealing with that. On the other hand, personality can be tweaked somewhat, as far as you are willing to do it. (For instance, though you’re not particularly affectionate with little children, you can at least consciously be kind to them.) But you should never wholly manufacture” your personality. It should spring naturally
from your true character. Don’t be a loud flirt just for the sake of being the center of attention, for instance, when your true character is naturally cautious. You’ll just exhaust yourself, and in time the stress of trying to be who you’re not will wreak havoc on your health and appearance.
Where Poise Comes From
Strive to be at peace with who you are. In fact, be proud of who you are! The easy joy within you will create that je ne sais quoi appeal about you that people can’t quite put their finger on—but have a hard time resisting. And it’s going to be effortless on your part. If there’s one that can draw people in without you even lifting a finger, it’s self-confidence.
If you are self-confident, you have sex appeal. Confidence tends to inspire you to hold your head high, shoulders back, and move with poise. Self-confidence is what makes a woman move like she’s dancing. Self-confidence is what makes a man’s walk powerful and kingly. It’s that simple.
Move like that, and immediately it sends out a very sexy signal. You will be noticed immediately.
Ever seen how experienced theater actors or dancers walk into a room, in real life? They have this aura that seems to precede them, and yanks everyone else’s attention to their direction. It’s almost like they’re pretending a spotlight is always on them.
I’ll tell you a little secret: a lot of them are pretending that a spotlight is there. And they’ve been doing it for such a
long time that it’s become second nature to them; they no longer think about it. These actors know firsthand how realistically possible it is to create a magnetic personality for yourself.
One excellent example of someone who can create a magnetic personality with this method is actress Jodie Foster. She’s best known as an award-winning Hollywood actress, with a fiery and passionate presence on screen. But she’s not exactly someone people think of right away as a sex symbol. (People like Angelina Jolie or Catherine Zeta-Jones come to mind instead.) Though certainly attractive, she isn’t voluptuous or
particularly beautiful, or spectacularly stylish.
But she’s a very intelligent woman, with a great imagination for acting. It shows in her eyes, which are the most expressive part of her face. This is the reason why she has the uncanny ability to arrest everyone’s attention, whether on the big screen or in real life.
Case in point: during an AFI tribute to Robert de Niro, Jodie Foster was one of the presenters and she wore a very simple, asymmetrical slip of a dress in white satin, with no embellishments whatsoever. Yet, when she walked onstage, how she carried herself, combined with her physical fitness and intelligence, her appearance was so sexy that it stunned everyone. Some people in the audience gave her a standing ovation.