6. Fashion Sense
Clothes make the man (or woman)—at least, within the first few moments that people meet you.
Who you are and how you carry yourself should be echoed by your clothes. You need to wear what appeals to you and flatters your physical appearance. Clothes do more than just clothe you. They can speak volumes about you to people you’ve just met, even before you open your mouth to speak. Your clothes can give non-verbal commands to other people to respect you or warm up to you. Clothes are tools powerful and persuasive enough to make people do what you want!
So it’s essential that you build your wardrobe carefully. Here are a few “rules” about building one, regardless of who you are:
• Work within your budget. Don’t rack up a large credit card bill which will get you in trouble, just for clothes. Try to buy clothes that can be worn different ways, and in tandem with other pieces, to create different looks.
• Focus more on quality and style, and not so much on the clothes label. There is always a way of dressing yourself like a million bucks, without spending a million bucks.
• Study well the principles behind what makes clothes stylish, or what makes an ensemble work. Ask yourself: is it the quality of the fabric, and how it’s been cut and sewn together? Is it how the colors and textures come together? Does it work because it seems to create a clear
shape or “silhouette”? Is it more like how the wearer carries it? Do I detect a few little rules, like “always match this shirt with this for a particular occasion”, or are there no rules? What kind of reaction from people do particular suits or outfits generate?
• Wear what’s appropriate to your age and personality. Just because you’re 25 doesn’t mean you have to wear
something “youthful” all the time. If you have an assertive personality, you can express this subtly through clothes that radiate power as well as youth. And just because you’re 40 doesn’t mean you should wear something a bit more “matronly” or straight-laced; if you have an
exuberant personality you can mix-and-match clothing pieces that are associated with people your age, and those that are athletic or rugged.
• Don’t be a slave to fashion. Be its master. Don’t follow every single fashion trend just because everyone else is into it, because a lot of it is silly. Don’t be so averse to following fashion, either, that you miss the opportunity to try something new that designers have created which (surprise!) pleases and flatters your appearance. The key to staying in fashion without becoming a fashion victim is to stick primarily to classic clothes, while watching out for “new classic” designs that can stand the test of time just as well. Examples of old classics: the little black dress (for women), the pin-striped suit (for men), a turtleneck
shirt or sweater, straight-cut jeans, and the leather bomber jacket. Examples of newer designs that will stay fresh for years to come: asymmetrical one-shoulder strap dresses (for women), trench coats with a military cut and an unusual priest-like Roman collar (for men).
• Wear clothes that communicate understated, undeniable sexiness at any age. You never lose your sexuality, ever, even as you age. Why should you hide it by wearing sloppy clothing?
• Try to wear clothes that are both comfortable and sexy. (This is a new rule that’s particularly true for women.) Remember, you’re supposed to look sexy all the time. If you can be sexy without suffering, why suffer? Unlike in years past, when people had to resort to old designs, layers of sculpted clothing, corsets, and (gasp) shoulder pads, today’s modern designs and a myriad of combination fabrics available allow you to achieve any sexy look and
shape you want, without feeling restricted. Note: the more physically fit you are, the more you can get away with wearing stuff that’s both comfortable and sexy. When you’re not physically fit, you tend to wear “demanding” clothes that try to hide or reshape what’s there—much to your discomfort!
• Choose your shoes wisely and carefully, for maximum use and versatility. When it comes to shoes, things are still pretty much in the category of “suffering for beauty/power”. The sexiest of women’s shoes still tend to be uncomfortable high-heeled affairs. But at least they can still find cheap sexy footwear. Men, on the other hand, have to suffer high shoe prices; and the more attractive-looking or comfortable their shoes are, the harder they are on the wallet.
And most important, above all else: Do you feel sexy? No matter what it is you wear, if you want someone to view you as sexy, you better view yourself as sexy. Remember internalization? You wear the clothes, and not the other way around. Always have your head up and shoulders back. How you hold yourself together is huge. It shows the world that you mean business, and are here to shine.