CHAPTER 14
When I got down from the airport Martha was there to take me home. There again I had to face some reporters and one of them commented that I look as if I am in love. He asked me whether I have met somebody in Germany. I laughed....You see Paparazzi are so cunning they can read faces and minds too.
When I got back home Papa was there and he kissed me and said....
“You have done it again.”
He looked very happy as I have been successful.
Once I went back to my room Martha came and sorting out my cloths from the suitcases. First thing she took her to her hand was the jogging kit because it was on top of the suitcase.
“What is this Sarah my dear?”
I don't lie to Martha so I decided to tell her the truth.
“I met somebody in Germany and I took it from him as a souvenir.”
“Why Sarah dear it looks ugly and old.”
At once she noticed the change in my face and she added....
“May be it has a special value to you.”
Then she took out the Bible.
“From where did you get this Sarah love?”
“From the same person. Can you please keep it on my bed side table Martha?”
“Are you going to read it Sarah? Why all of a sudden you want to know about God? Are you going to follow your mother?”
Now this is news to me. I didn’t know that my mother used to read the Bible. I must know more about this than proceeding further.
“You mean to say that my mother used to read the Bible?”
“Of course my little girl your mother was a very strong believer. She believed that everything came from God. She believed that someday your father's business would prosper. Your father also used to believe in God but when your mother died his heart became hardened because he loved your mother so much”.
At once Jobs’ story came to my mind.
“I don't know whether I will read it or not but I got it as a present so I will keep it.”
I thought that I should talk to Papa about this matter. Suddenly I was tired only when I got into the bed only, that I realized that while taking a change, I have got in to Shane’s jogging suit.
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I was dreaming.... Shane is holding me tight and I was crying and I didn’t know why. I was asking Shane why I am crying....He was silent.
He is making me more and more sad by being silent. I feel the warmth of his body and I don’t want to leave that warmness. It was so pleasing and making me realize how different he is to the others. But I was crying and I wonder why?...
It was seven O'clock in the morning when I got up. I rang Martha for my coffee.
“You look lovely girl... specially today you look more beautiful than other days. Your cheeks have become rosy....”
“You are joking Martha. Can you make the bath ready... I have to be in the office by eight thirty.”
“It’s ready girl; if you need anything more call me.”
When I went into the bathroom the water was ready. I brushed my teeth quickly and got into the tub. If Shane is here with me how beautiful it could be! I was getting excited. But he is not the man for me; I should forget him.
There is no use of thinking about him anymore. He is not my style. Then I remembered his long throbbing shaft. I felt the wetness building up inside me. I have never seen a thing like that in my life so far other than in blue movies. I wonder how my pussy will take it; I can’t imagine a thing like that going inside me; I will die, I will surely die. Thinking of it made my hand going in between my thighs. I can feel the swollen lips of my pussy; ever ready to receive it. But it will never become reality. He won’t be mine. But still……. I want to have him at any cost.
If it is money I don't mind going up to ten million which is the limit on my credit card. I felt like writing to him and offering him whatever he wants just to get what I want. Today I shall buy him a jogging suit and should post it to him. At least he will think that I kept my promise.
Finally when I reached to the office it was nine thirty and I was late. When I walked in Peggy the telephone operator greeted me any said already there were about six calls for me and all the names are there on my desk.
When Emily was there my office always looked nice. She used to bring flowers and decorate my table. I have seen her even cleaning the room with a vacuum cleaner if she felt that it is not in order. I have seen her wiping my chair and table with a piece of cloth every day. Also she was never shy to keep my wash room clean though it was a duty of the house keeping department.
But she was there only a month and I had to fire her out because of her negligence. Her desk is empty. I wonder what she will be doing now at this moment. My table and chair is dusty as I was away for awhile and I had to clean it all by myself.
I sat down and returned all the calls and was finished in fifteen minutes. Then I called the office boy Andy and asked him to go to all the departments and find the missing file. Then I called Brady and asked him to take down some of the letters, which I have to send today, and dictated them. Then I told him to bring the Application file where you get so many people applying for jobs. From the file I selected about five names and I asked Brady to send letters calling them for interviews for the day after because I need a secretary very badly.
At about eleven Andy returned empty handed. So the file is missing. Then I thought it is better for me to go through my file cabinet and started looking for it. It took me around two hours to check whether the file is there but couldn’t find it. After a thorough search I was angry. I don’t know whether that bitch took it home. Don’t know whether she posted it to somebody thinking it as a letter. I have to find it fast because there is an outstanding of ninety thousand dollars to recover from this company and without details to put forward to my account department I can’t invoice them. I was deciding to leave office to go shopping when Jim phoned.
“Hey! Sarah how are you? So you have done it again Ah!”
“What are you talking about Jim?”
“Didn’t you see the papers? There is an article about you saying that you have got two of the biggest contracts for Harris cargo in Germany last week? Is it true?”
“Oh! you are talking about that.... It is my job no Jim, to survive we should do our job right.”
“Not that we should celebrate it. How about tonight? Are you free?”
“Yes I am free.”
“Then how about meeting at about seven? I’ll come and pick you up.”
“It's confirmed and see you at seven.”
Jim is not a bad lover. I have dated him several times and every time he was better than the last time. Tonight I’ll have him. It was about one month ago when I last made love to a man. He will make me forget about Shane and then I will be all right.
I got out the office at about one thirty and went shopping. It took me two hours to find a jogging suit for Shane. I simply bought the best for him. I will put it in to a post pack and will ask Martha to post it to him. I wanted to write a letter also to him but decided against as I want to forget about him as soon as possible.
Finally when I reached home it was five thirty and Papa was there. He asked me whether I will be there for dinner but I said no as I will be going out with Jim.
When Jim came to pick me up it was seven fifteen. He is a person who will never work on time. Always late.
“Sorry Sarah I got late.”
Everyday it’s the same story. We kissed each other as I got onto his car. Sholcky and Logus will be following. He silently drove into the Country Restaurant for dinner. Country restaurant is one of the best in NY and the specialty in them is the feature they have which is called prepared to order. Even a stake the customer could give the weight, how it should be done and the dressings he wants and so on…… and they will serve it exactly…….
While having dinner he asked me about my German trip and he said that I have become a genius in this cargo business. He is about thirty. Married and divorced. No kids. But working for the bank of New York and handling our account.
He says that he will never get married again. He wants to enjoy life. He had a two roomed apartment in the heart of the city with all the facilities. I knew that almost every day he had a girl to satisfy him in his apartment in the night. He is a ladies’ man. Any woman will fall into his trap like a mouse as he had a very special way with women. He could make any woman laugh and get friendly fast. He had mastered the cocky comedy with women perfectly.
In bed he is not bad at all. He tells me that so far I have been the best. He must be telling this to all the women he takes to his apartment. With me he always do it with the lights off and he says that I am too beautiful for him to look at and he is afraid that he will not be able to satisfy me. I still can remember, when we made love the first day with lights on in the room, he failed very badly.
When we finished a good bottle of champagne and a good dinner he asked me whether I would come to his place. I said yes. When I was entering his home suddenly I remembered Shane. I tried to put him away from my mind but I couldn’t.
We got undressed as usual and started making love. To my surprise I couldn’t get myself into the mood. My thing is dry as ever. It doesn’t respond to Jim’s touch or later to his tongue.
Jim was getting angry. I was in bad shape as I couldn’t get into the rhythm. He tried to put it in but I couldn’t take it in as I was dry as ever. All the time I was feeling very different.
“Why Sarah what’s wrong with you?”
Finally he asked me.
“Jim please forgive me; I am not in a mood today. I feel tired and I want to go home.”
I told him in one sentence.
“Of course Sarah I will take you back, but today you are so different. I do not understand and please forgive me for starting this today. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Ok we will meet again on another day…….You should have told me earlier. To me you are the best, but today the worst. Any way I will drop you home. Let’s go...”
I got up from the bed and got dressed quickly. Then Jim dropped me home. He didn’t even bother to kiss me good night. May be he was thinking if not for me, he would have had another lady to warm his bed.
I was happy to be home. When I went into the bedroom I saw Shane’s jogging suit washed, ironed and neatly laid on my bed by Martha. I quickly took a body wash and climbed on to the bed. Normally I go to sleep without any cloths but after I got the jogging suit from Shane it has become a necessity. Though it gave me a different scent I didn’t want to forget that it is Shane’s, and I will keep it.
Though I tried my best to sleep I couldn’t. I still remember what Jim told me, when he said that other days I am the best but today the worst. I don’t know whether I could face Jim again or whether he will date me again. Finally at about one in the morning I took two sleeping pills to get some sleep.
“Have you started reading it?”
Shane asked me.
“Why?”
I asked him.
“On the day of judgment I want to see you on the right hand side of Jesus Christ with me.”
“What do you mean by the day of judgment?”
I asked him again. He started talking and it never end and I can’t remember the things he said.... After explaining the day of judgment he said that he wants to see me saved with the precious blood of Jesus Christ and he kissed me. Then I woke up and my whole body was trembling. It took about ten minutes for me to feel normal and then the time was nine in the morning and I am already late for office.
When I walked into the office it was ten thirty and I had to return about fifteen calls. Then I realized that my office table is in a mess and started clearing it. After finishing that I thought that I should clear my drawers also. When I came to the bottom drawer I felt shit....
The missing file was there. Then I remembered when I put it there. It was a Wednesday and I had to wait until six to get a call from these people at C.B.S and when Emily left the office I took the file from the cabinet personally and got ready to answer the call. After talking with them I put it in the bottom drawer as I was in a hurry to go home.
I took the file into my hand and saw Emily’s face on the cover. She was wishing me good luck and asking God’s blessings while leaving her job. I kicked her off. She paid for one of my mistakes. I could remember Shane telling me that whenever we do something wrong to somebody we should be able to say sorry to that person without feeling bad about it.
She was a good girl with a very good heart. I can remember the things she used to do to make my office beautiful. I could remember her wishing me God’s blessings before she left the office. Suddenly I felt tears filling my eyes. I must find her. I must say sorry to her. I must give her job back with a pay rise. I thought that she is suitable to be my best friend. Now I will do anything for her. I want her back and I will make it up to her, today itself. Tomorrow will be too late because those five will be coming for interviews and before that I must find her.
I rang the bell for Andy and asked him to find the personal file of Emily Christie. I have never had a close relationship with another young girl after leaving school. It was always men. I wonder how it will be to have Emily as my girl friend. She will be like Shane, believing same God the same way....
When Andy brought the file I went through it and found the address of her. In the evening I must go there and find her. I was really upset about what I did to Emily. I felt the emptiness in the office very much so I decided to go home early. When Emily was there, there was something special in the office. But today only emptiness prevails.
When I went home Martha noticed my face and asked me whether I am sick. I must have looked terrible. I buzzed Sholcky and informed him that I will be going to see Emily tonight at seven and he said that they would be ready to go with me. Martha told me that she posted the jogging suit to Germany; I felt that I should have written to him. But it is high time that I forget about him.
When I reached the area where Emily lived I knew that she was a poor girl. This particular area is full of the poor in New York. I felt even sad to have chased her out. I got down from the car and reached her apartment building. It was a three storied old building which needed a face lift very badly. I walked up to the second floor and tapped on her door. To my surprise an old black lady opened it.
“Yes young lady what do you want?”
“Could you kindly tell me whether this is Miss Emily Christie's apartment?”
“Apartment?...... I think you are new to this place lady. We have only rooms here the bath and the toilette is common and it is down the corner. This is my room and I moved in about ten days ago. I don’t know anybody here and it is better that you speak to the janitor. He is in room number seven ground floor.”
“Thank you very much and I will see him.”
“Ok.”
She banged the door on my face.
When I went downstairs and knocked on housekeeper’s door I heard him shouting and cursing while approaching the door.
“You people! Can’t you just leave this man alone for a moment? One of these days you will break this door by banging on to it so much. Bloody shit!”
I knew that I have to get ready to face him or otherwise I will never get the information that I needed so badly. So I took a ten dollar bill to my hand.
“What the hell is now?”
While telling that he opened the door.
Before talking to him I gave him the ten dollar bill.
“I need some information.”
“I am really sorry madam. I beg your forgiveness; because of these rascals I have become rude to the visitors also. Tell me madam, how can be of help to you?”
The ten dollar bill had done the trick.
“I am searching for Emily Christie who was living in this apartment and room number 34. Can you tell me where she is now?”
“Oh!... you are talking about that Christian lady who tried her best to change the lives of these crazy people around this place. The last we heard of her was that she got caught stealing from the cash box in her working place. The people who got changed because of her preaching are now cursing her. She got fired and she had no money to pay the rent so she had to leave.”
When I heard what he said I felt his words stabbing my heart deep and the next moment I was crying.
“Hey lady now straighten your self up. Is that your sister? No it can’t be because you are white and she is half black or is she your lover?”
“I am her boss and she was working for me. For somebody else’s mistake I fired her thinking that she was to be blamed. It has got nothing to do with any kind of stealing.”
“Now wait a minute lady....She was working for Harris Cargo You mean to say that you are the daughter of?...”
“Yes I am.”
“Oh! my lady pardon me thousand times. Why don’t you come inside. What an honor for me to talk to you today. Can I get you something to drink?”
I went inside and sat on the only chair that was there in the room. This black man looks about seventy years old. Any way I don’t have to worry about him as Sholcky and Logus will be giving me the best security that I could ever think of.
“Find me where she is now.”
“Yes my lady if you give me a minute I can remember that she gave me a forwarding address before she left. I will find it for you.”
It took about ten minutes for him to find the address.
“My lady can you do me a small favour? My only son is 25 years old and he was never good in school. I was thinking of sending him on sailing. I think God sent you here. Can you help him?”
“Yes I will help him.... But on one condition. Do you know all the people Emily spoke to regarding Jesus when she was here?”
“Of course lady, I know everybody who listened to her words of God. She even spoke to me also. She was very powerful with the word. Well read, and very convincing and was very kind. When she was working she even fed the poor little brats in this building with candies and sweet stuff where they won’t get a chance of seeing them even. When she lost the job everybody was sad but the rumor was that she stole from the cash box.”
“Do you know and believe the truth about her now?”
“Of course lady you told me that was a misunderstanding.”
“Ok... clear her name before tomorrow morning and your son will start sailing from day after. Now the time is nine O’clock, you have twelve hours until tomorrow morning nine O’clock.
Can you do it?”
“Most certainly my lady. Even if I have to wake them up in the night, still I will do it and I will convey the truth before tomorrow morning.”
“Before tomorrow evening I will be checking to find out whether you have done a good job or not, if not, don’t bother to send your son to my office the day after.”
“Don't worry lady it will be done before day light.”
I gave him one of my business cards and asked him to send his son along with that.
When I reached Emily’s new address it was nine thirty but I was determined to find her and talk to her today. This area is even worse but for my mistake I will even go to hell today to find her. I went and tapped the door to her room but there was no answer. Then I saw an old man coming towards me and I asked him about Emily.
“Oh! ... You are trying to find the Christian lady.... At this hour she will be teaching down the hall below. She is a new light to this place and she is a wonderful lady, with a lot of understanding and courage. She is poor but she has a very big heart. If you want I can ask her to come but anyway she will be finishing in half an hour.”
“Alright I will wait. Don't disturb her.”