The Companion
Faith relaxed on a couch as she watched Nathan pacing back and forth in the kitchen, seemingly stressed over something. Wearing a worn pair of blue jeans and a plaid button-down shirt with long sleeves, he appeared somewhat similar to an old farmer. He loved plaid. The salt and pepper hairs on his head were thinly scattered about, contrasting the thick texture of his matching beard and mustache. Faith studied him, wondering what was bothering him. He picked up a phone and dialed a number, yet never spoke. The person he was calling didn’t answer, likely due to the early morning hour. He grumbled as he put the phone down on the kitchen counter and resumed his pacing.
The home in which Nathan and Faith lived was similar to the others and Faith appreciated both the home and its natural surroundings. She also appreciated its large picture windows and expansive views. Outdoor living in Orange Bay was very pleasurable, given its balmy, year-round temperatures.
“I need help, man,” Nathan said as he looked over at Faith. She was sitting on the couch in the family room next to the open kitchen, feeling very sorry for him.
“I’m out of my pain meds. Ran through them too quickly. My head is killing me. Massive migraine.”
He clenched his fists and banged his right hand on the kitchen countertop.
“Death is knocking at my door, Faith. Knocking like a thief in the night. Sometimes I wish I could answer the door and end it all. Would be so much easier than this life. Way too much pain in this life. I’m ready to meet my maker.”
He picked up the phone again and dialed a number.
“Uh, hello. This is Nathan Wagner. Can I get an appointment for later this afternoon?”
Faith studied him as he paced about the kitchen, holding the phone nervously to his ear. She loved that man and wanted him to be pain free. He deserved a nice life, devoid of such pain.
“How about tomorrow?” Nathan asked, and then waited for a reply.
“I’ll see you then.” He hung up the phone and looked at Faith as he walked from the kitchen and into the family room.
“Sometimes I wish I would just die, Faith, but I’m not ready to leave you. You’re what keeps me on this earth. My sweet companion. What do you say we get some fresh air and head outside for a walk?”
He grabbed a bag of stale bread from the pantry and walked towards the front door. Faith got up and followed him.
Moments later, Nathan and Faith were strolling outside, heading towards the woodlands behind their home along an old familiar pathway. The day was pleasant with a slightly cool breeze, and Faith soaked in the warmth of the Florida sun as they wandered along. Birds whisked by them in the air and squirrels scampered past them, occasionally offering some entertainment and a little whimsy. Being outside was good for Nathan. It helped to clear his mind of much negativity and stress. His many tours of duty had taken a toll on him and he was still suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder.
When they came to a fork in the path they were on, they turned off into the woods, and followed a different path towards the pond. The morning sun shone through the pine and mossy oak trees that surrounded them, reflecting its brilliant light from the trees’ green leaves. Faith could see the pond off in the distance. Its glassy water was always covered in lily pads and stocked with bass, carp, and catfish. That’s where they would spend the next hour while Nathan fed the crumbs of stale bread that he had carried with them to the hungry group of fish.
Their time together was always enjoyable and relaxing, especially when they were outside immersed in their surroundings. She was happy to be a part of Nathan’s life. Though they had only been together for six months, it seemed as if she had known him forever and wanted to be with him for the rest of her life.
***
After returning from their walk, the two headed into the family room of their home. Nathan headed straight for his favorite reclining Lazy-boy style of a chair, where he plopped down and relaxed. He picked up the channel changer and flipped the channels until he came upon a sports show. Watching sports was his favorite pastime and he sometimes spent almost all of the hours of the day perched in his favorite chair watching sports.
Empty bottles of soda hovered over a crumb-covered paper plate on a table next to him. A sticky dollop of ketchup was aging on that plate, but probably would still taste good. Ketchup tastes great on everything. Nathan was a big fan of paper plates and utensils. Cleaning dishes wasn’t something he enjoyed, so just about every meal was consumed on a paper plate.
Faith fell in and out of sleep as she sat across from Nathan in front of the television. Sports and television always bored her and caused her to doze off. Hours passed.
Nathan’s sister Debbie arrived at the house like a breath of fresh air. After knocking on the garage door to her signature “shave and a haircut” tune, she yelled, “two bits” as she let herself into the house.
“What a great day!” She announced in her husky voice as she strode into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face and a big white bucket with a picture of a crab on it in her hand.
“Sure, great day,” Nathan echoed in a flat voice, while keeping his eyes pinned to the television.
“Hope you’ve had a chance to go outside. It’s sunny with blue skies, Nathan, just like the color of this room. So, how’s it going?”
Debbie’s comment reminded Faith of the time when Debbie came over to decorate Nathan’s kitchen and family room. The rooms were decorated in a beachy sort of a way, painted in a pale shade of blue. She told Nathan that the pale blue would be calming and that he needed to be in a calm and restful environment.
“It’s going,” Nathan answered. He turned his head towards her and feigned a slight smile. Faith could tell that he was doing his best to be pleasant, despite his pain and his inner demons. She hoped that Debbie would be able to break that spell.
Debbie plopped the plastic bucket she was carrying onto the kitchen counter, causing the ice inside of the bucket to shake and make a lot of noise. Faith knew what was inside of the bucket, as Debbie had shown up with similar buckets in the past, and she looked forward to helping Nathan and Debbie consume its contents.
“Stone crabs are in season. Hungry? I’ve got a whole bucket here and man, are they scrumptious!”
“You know I love stone crabs. Thanks, Sis!”
Nathan stood up and grew a much more genuine sort of a smile. He headed into the kitchen, followed by Faith, and grabbed the paper plates, paper towels, crab crackers, and splitters. Time for a feast.
After eating a couple of crab legs, Debbie said, “Nathan, I hate to say this, but it’s kind of musty and depressing in here. Smells like stinky socks and needs a good cleaning. You should get a maid. It’s not like you can’t afford one.”
“Maybe I will.”
“Are you still taking your meds?”
“Depression meds? Yup. But they don’t help much. The pain meds don’t help either. Nothing gets rid of the nightmares, Deb. They’re killing me. I’m getting to the point where I’m afraid to go to sleep. Afraid I’ll wake up in a deep sweat or I won’t wake up at all. It’s the demons, Deb. They’re pounding me.”
“Are you still seeing your counselor?”
“Yeah. That helps a little.”
“You should get out more, Nathan. Maybe volunteer. When I was driving here, I saw the Collins Foster Home and it made me think of an opportunity for you. You should go over there and help those kids. I’ll bet that they would love to meet a war hero.”
“Hero? Right,” he said. “I’m no hero. If I were a hero, Skidmore would still be alive. I had the opportunity, Deb. I could have saved him, but I wimped out and blew it.”
“You’ve got to get over that, Nathan. Skidmore is in a much better place now,” Debbie said.
“Can’t, Deb. Just can’t get over it.”
“Just give it a shot, Nathan. You need something to live for now. You and Faith live a very lonely existence out here.”
“Maybe, Deb. Maybe I’ll give volunteering a shot. Got any of that mustard sauce?”
“Of course!”
“Let’s eat.”
Faith watched Nathan as he scarfed down a good number of crab legs. She pitied him and the difficulties he was having, but was glad he had his sister to help him. Debbie was always there for Nathan, always bringing joy and happiness.
Yet Faith knew of an even greater joy, one which was eternal. If only she could express herself to Nathan, she would be able to tell him she had the key to his eternal joy. But she couldn’t say a word. She didn’t have the ability to speak.