“I can't wait for tomorrow” I say to Sophia after work. I have been waiting all week for Saturday. “You're such a little girl” Sophia mocks me but I don't care I can't hide my excitement to go to the fair. “So Jake call me” now she is the one that is beaming. “You're such a girl” I mock her. She rolls her eyes “Shut up”. She blush “He wants to see me tomorrow”. They haven't seen each other since the day that we all went out. I actually thought that she wasn't interested in him no more. “That's great so are you going to see him after we come back from the fair?” I reach for the control.
She shift in her sit “About that,” I stare at her “I was hoping that you can keep Gabe distracted so I can hang with Jake”.
What does she mean keep him distracted? Now I am the one who shifts uncomfortable “I don't know Sophia”. I don't think going out with just Gabe is a good idea. Every time I'm around him I feel all weird inside. “Oh come on Jane pleasee,” she pouts “I really really like Jake”. She gives me her sad face that she knows I can't say no to. “Fine” I give in. She claps her hands “Thank you so much Jane I owe you one”.
She jumps up and runs to her room to call Jake. What have I gotten myself into? I throw my head back to stare at the ceiling I just hope he don't mind going with me. We haven't been alone since that night and I don't know how I'm going to act. I am laying in bed after my shower and decided to call Sammy.
“Hello” she picks up on the second ring.
“Hi Sam” I reply.
“What's up Ana?” Ana? Why she called me Ana? “Oh nothing here at my tio's house” she went on. She is at my father's house. After a minute of silence I finally ask “Is my dad there?” I feel nervous just knowing he might be around.
“Yeah I know right” she says.
“How is he?” I pick on the fabric.
“Don't worry about it everything is fine” she answers.
“Good I'm glad he is okay” I smile.
“Do you still want the recipe for the cake?” What is she talking about? “because I can put Nina on the phone and she can give you the recipe”.
“Oh my god really?” I jump up and down “Yes! Put her on”.
“Okay I'll go look for her”. I can't believe I am going to talk to Nina after what seems like for ever.
“Hello” I feel a knot in my throat hearing her voice.
“Ni-Nina” I choked out.
“Butterfly?” she ask. “Nina it's Ana she wants to ask you something” I hear Sam in the background.
“How are you?” she continues.
“I'm fine. I miss you so much you have no idea” I admit.
“You're never alone I'm always thinking and praying for you” she says.
“Thanks how is dad holding up?” I know she will tell me the truth. I know that if there is any one that truly knows my dad is her. She can see what he doesn't want any one else to see.
“I'm not going to lie to you butterfly he isn't doing well he acts like everything is fine but deep down he is devastated. I haven't seen him like this since your mom”. I knew Sammy was lying to me all along. “Nina what's for dinner?” I hear my father's voice and I freeze on the spot. He is there on the other side of the phone. I'm squeezing the phone so tight to my ear that I might just break it. Damn I wish I can talk to him and tell him how much I love him, that I'm sorry for all the pain I put him through, and that for the first time in my life I'm happy. “What ever you would like Sir” Nina answers.
“Surprise me who are you talking too?” my heart stops this is it. He is going to know it's me and he is going to trace the call. “Ana she wants to bake a cake” Nina lies. “I'll be in my office” that's the last thing I hear him say. “I have to go take care I love you” Nina hangs up leaving me a wreck. I drop the phone and sit in complete darkness. Every time I talk to them I always end up a mess. That's the reason why I don't call them every day. What kind of daughter am I? How can I live with myself knowing that I have broken my father's heart. What if he never forgives me? What if he never speaks to me again? Can I live knowing that my father hates me? I wish I had some one right now to tell me everything is going to be fine. I lay down and instantly the tears start falling I feel horrible. It hurts me to know that my father is hurting because of me meanwhile I'm here living my life. A few minutes later the door opens and I turn to my side “Sorry I need some cloths” Gabe enters. I pretend that I'm sleeping but my stuffy nose gives me away. “Are you getting sick?” I can feel him getting closer. “I'm fine” my voice comes out croaky. “What's wrong?” he asks. Oh god I don't want him to see me cry. I wipe my face “Nothing I have allergies”. I try to hide my sadness. “Allergies?” he questions “Are you allergic to the air or to me?”. I let out a small laugh leave it up to him to make me laugh. I hear his shoes hit the floor he is probably leaving. I feel the bed sink and then I feel his arms around me. I should probably push him away but I really need some one right now. He turns me around and I lay my head on his chest. “What's really wrong G.I Jane?” he brush my hair back and I let go out of the tears I was holding in. I hate crying around people but I can't control myself right now. I don't know what is it about him that makes me want to trust him. He makes me feel safe. “D-Do you think I'm a bad daughter?” I stutter. “What?” he lifts my chin up and looks confuse “Why would you think that?”. I lay my head back on his chest “I hurt my dad pretty bad by leaving”.
Every one thinks I left my father because he was strict but no one knows the real reason why I left. “You aren't the first and won't be the last daughter that leaves their parents and honesty I don't blame you for leaving with the way he is” he plays with my hair. Did I tell him the truth about my father?
“You know strict and all” he adds and I relax. “I think he hates me” I press my cheek into his chest. He smells so good.
“Don't be silly no one can hate you especially not your father” he says. I don't let the no one can hate you part go unnoticed. I lift my head up to look at him “You really think so?”. He runs his thumb under my eye wiping my tears “I know so”. I hope he is right because I can't live knowing that my father hates me. “You know,” he snaps me out my thought “even with mascara running down your face you still look pretty” he gives me a half smile. Damn I hate mascara. It brings out your eyelashes but damn it's hard to take that shit out. I sit up and look away from him “I look crazy don't I?”. He sits up and takes of his shirt and hands it over to me “Here use this to wipe it off”. I clean my face and I sniff it really quick before he sees me. He pulls me back down and I lay down on his bare chest. His skin is so smooth and warm against my cheek. “You got a tattoo?” I trace the letters that are written on his right side of his chest. How did I miss it last time when I was staring at him I don't know.
“God never gives you anything you can't handle that's what it says” he says. “Powerful words” I whisper. “Indeed they are but they are also true” he strokes my arm. “I like, when did you get it?” I rest my chin on the back of my hand to face him. He brings one hand to the back of his neck he looks like he is modeling for some kind of magazine. “I was 17 and I was going through a rough time you can say I had so much on my plate that I didn't ask for. I was the man of the house so I had to make sure everything was running right,” he looks down to meet my eyes. I can see so much emotions in his dark green eyes. “I was so stress juggling school, work, home, and taking care of Sophia. I felt like I couldn't handle it. I started to drink and smoke you know getting into trouble here and there. My grades drop and I almost drop out of school if that wasn't bad enough I almost lost my job. Until one day an old lady that lived around the corner from me came by the store and as we were talking she said to me 'God never gives you anything you can't handle' and those words spoke to me in a way that I can't explain” he says. Now I understand why he always worry about Sophia he has been taking care of her his whole life. I smile and without thinking give him a kiss on his chest “That's amazing”. He chuckles “Thanks”. I lay back down and he strokes my hair.
The room is so quite all you can hear is our breathing. I can hear his heartbeat it's so strong. “I think your dad should be proud of you” he breaks the silence. I laugh “Why?”. He is crazy if he thinks my dad should be proud of me. I got up and left him. “It takes a brave person to leave everything they know and love behind to start a new life some where else by themselves”. I doubt my dad sees it that way I let out a small yawn. “You should get some sleep” he tries to get up but I pin him down. “Can you sleep with me tonight?” I ask. I don't want to be alone right now. He looks down at me with doubt in his eyes “You won't rape me?”. I laugh “You wish”. I don't know how he always finds a way to make me laugh. “One can only hope can I take a shower first?” he ask. “Yea you kind of stink” I lie he smells great. “Yeah I have all your boogers and tears on me” he tease. “Good point” I sit up and let him roll off. As I lay in bed waiting for Gabe all I can think about is how big and empty my bed feels maybe I should buy a smaller bed. Gabe walks in and my heart skips a beat his hair is damp and he is only wearing pajamas bottom . I found myself in awe of his hard lean frame. My eyes travels over his smooth hard chest down to is six pack which is well define every single line. Then I move down to the V-shape of his hips that I didn't see yesterday. Seriously how can some one be that good looking? “Beautiful” I say under my breath. “What was that?” Gabe rubs the towel through his hair. “I didn't say anything” I move over to make room for him. “That's funny I could of sworn I herd you say something I must be hearing things” he walks towards me. I can't believe I said that out loud and got caught like always how embarrassing. “You should go to the doctor and get that check because you are to young to be hearing things” I say.
Thank god it's dark and he can't see me blushing. “Mmm” he hums and pushes me down as he rolls on top of me “You think?”. I can smell his body wash and it smells so good.
“Yes” I press my lips against each other trying not to laugh.
He pins my arms above my head and slowly runs one hand down my side leaving a burning sensation behind. “Are you sure I herd wrong?” his voice comes out husky. I swallow and nod my head because I can't even talk. I'm to focus on his hand on my body. He starts to tickle me and I start kicking and laughing “Stop!” I cry out. I'm laughing so hard that my chest and stomach hurts. “Please stop!” I can't take it no more. He stops and lands right next to me. I take a minute to recover from my attack. “Now that's better” he smiles.
“What?” I turn to face him. “Seeing you laughing instead of crying” he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and I quiver.
“Really?” I run my hand through his still wet hair “I thought I had the whole looking like-a-dying-clown down”. I trace his perfect eyebrow. “I said that to make you feel better but you kind of looked like death” he whisper. I punch him in his chest “Asshole”. He rolls over on top of me grabbing his chest “It hurts”. I try to push him off but don't move him one bit “For some one with an amazing body you are sure heaver than a cow” I say. “Beautiful” he mumbles. “What?” I act like I didn't hear him. “An amazing beautiful body” he looks up and winks. I laugh “What ever you say crazy”. We stare at each other for a what seems for ever. I can get lost in his eyes all my life and never realize it. “We should get some sleep we have a big day tomorrow” he kissed my forehead and rolls off me. I take in a big breath “Yeah goodnight” I turn to my side and hugged my pillow. He pulls me towards him and I snuggle in to his arms. There is no other place I rather be then in his arms feeling safe and warm. “Night Muffin” he gives me a small kiss on my shoulder. I fight the shiver that wants to break out. This is going to be a good night.