Chapter 24 Jane
“Hey baby where were you all day?” Raul ask Sam as soon as we arrived. I should of known this was her hurry to get home. The whole ride home she was lost in her thoughts I try making conversation with her but she wasn't having it. I wonder what she was thinking about? “Out with Jane” she answers dryly. This is new I've never seen her act like that towards him before. He looks over to me and eyes me from head to toe it feels like a million of bugs are crawling over me it takes all I have not to shiver under his stare. “Nice to see you Jane” he licks his lips. For the first time today I actually feel naked the way he is staring at me makes me sick to my stomach. I need to get away from him. “Wish I could say the same,” I walked pass him “actually I don't” I correct myself as I climb up the stairs. Sammy shakes her head in disapproval but I really don't care. I'm not going to pretend to like him because I know she wouldn't either. Raul chuckles behind me and it takes all my strength not to turn around and kick him in his balls.
Just a few more days and I will never have to see him again. I can't wait to get back to my life where I wake up to Gabe. Now that I think about it I'm going to have to look for a new job since my old boss turned out to be a fucking madman. I hope Sophia hasn't rented my room out because than I would have to look for a place to live. If she did it's totally understandable I've been gone for a few months. I wonder how she has been coming up with my side of the rent. I'll just figure it all out when I get back right now all I want is to take a shower. I need to get rid of this sand in my hair and in my butt. I reach for my robe and hit the shower.
After making sure I wash every last bit of sand off me I finally hop out the shower. My lips are still swollen due to Gabe's kiss I can still feel his lips against mine. I run my fingers down my lips picturing his. Just a few more days and all of this is over. I hear my room door open and close again it must be Sammy. She is probably going to ride me about Raul. “I'll be out in a sec Sam” I yell as I comb my hair. I tie my stash around my robe to make sure I don't flash Sammy. “Okay what's up?” I walk into my room.
I feel the little hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I see Mark standing there instead of Sam. What in the world is he doing in my room? He knows damn well he isn't allowed in here. He hasn't step one foot in here since the day he dragged me downstairs. I personality made sure my dad made it clear to him. “What the hell are you doing in here?” I tighten the robe around me. He is standing right in front of the door so even if I tried running I wouldn't be able to pass him. I could go back to the bathroom but that would give me no place to run. “I herd you're leaving to New York” he sounds devastated. “What the hell is it to you? Get the fuck out!” I yell. Why the hell does he care if I'm leaving and how the hell did he find out?
I search around the room looking for something I can use as a weapon to defend myself and that's when I notice the door isn't lock. I have to find a way to move Mark away from the door and then make a run for it. Mark follows my stare of line until he notice the same thing I did “I just want to talk” he says as he locks it. My heart starts to pound louder than before. He wouldn't try to do anything to me knowing that my father is under the same roof would he? “Then why did you lock the door?” I step back carefully. I need to put more distance between us just in case I have to run for my life. “Because I know you would run” he leans back into the door. I feel bats in my stomach and my hands are sweating. Why didn't I lock my damn door in the first place? My knuckles are turning white due to how hard I'm holding onto my robe I really need to get dress. “Fine but can I get dress first?” I ask with an attitude. I know giving him attitude isn't going to help my case but come on I'm doing the best I can. His eyes pop out as if he just realized I'm wearing nothing but a robe “Sure”.
I walk to my closet and grab the first thing I touch, which happens to be Gabe's black shirt and yoga pants. I don't even bother with a bra or underwear I just want to get dress. Besides the shirt fits big enough to cover my body shape and it gives me room to move around freely if I need to. I wrap my hair up in a bun just in case I need to kick his ass. Mark is still standing in the same spot where I left him. “What do you want to talk about?” I walk over to sit on my bed but I can't get comfortable so I sit on the rocking chair instead. “Why him?” he ask so bluntly. My heart drops to my stomach does he know Gabe is alive? Oh god if he knows about Gabe that means my dad knows and if my dad knows... “What did you see in him that you can't see in me?” he ask more specifically. He said did, as in past tense, so he doesn't know he is alive. I take in a big breath trying to calm myself down “Mark I don't want to get into this right now”.
This conversation is pointless just like every other conversation we've had so far. “I need to know Jane” he yells causing me to flinch. Who the hell does he think he is talking to like that? I've been trying to keep my calm but if he wants to be disrespectful than two can play that game. “First off watch the way you talk to me,” I stand just in case he comes at me I can get a better hit. “I'm sorry” he says softly “I just want to know”. I can't help but to feel bad for this poor hopeless man. If I can help him move on by simply answering his questions than I'll tell him. I need him to get over that ridiculous idea of him being in love with me. “Mark,” I let out a small breath out of frustration “I wish I can tell you but I can't because I don't know how it happen it just did”. Isn't that the truth. God knows that I tried my best not to like him but it happen anyways.
“But maybe now that he is dead you can give me a chance” he walks towards me. I try my best not to laugh at how ridiculous that sounds. Even if Gabe was dead I would never fall for the man that killed him. I walk over to the window to put more space in between us. I stare out the window at the beautiful view before me. It's funny how different the view looks now since the first time I saw it. But yet again it's not the view that change is me who looks at things differently now. “Mark it doesn't matter if he isn't here my feeling towards him don't change” I say which is true. My feelings for Gabe don't change no matter where we are. “Plus I only see you as a friend, well I did” I clarified.
I know it's a little harsh but he needs to hear the truth. He needs to know what he destroyed by betraying me. “Do you think you can forgive me with time?” he whisper so low I barley heard him. “I wish I can forgive you but I don't know” I answer truthfully. Even tho technically he didn't kill Gabe he still tried to and that is something I don't know if I can forgive. I can't forget the pain I was in thinking he was dead. Mark might of thought he killed Gabe but in reality he killed me. I need to ask him the one question that I've been dying to ask. I turn to face him “Why did you pull the trigger?”.
He already had me we could of gotten away with out him shooting Gabe. He runs his hand through his hair “Do you know how hard it was for me to see you with him? To watch you fall for him? To watch how he made you smile just by being around you? To see him touching you or kissing you when ever he wanted too?” his voice cracks “When it should of been me? I met you first Jane. Yes I know that it wasn't in the best circumstances but I still met you first. I was the first one to lay eyes on you. I was the first one to see how brave, strong, and beautiful you were even with all the crying you still was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen”.
I can't help but laugh as I remember how crazy I must of seem that day. “For weeks I looked after you Jane to make sure you were safe but I also saw how you slipped out of my hands into his. Damn Jane I wanted to be the guy you fell in love with, I wanted to be the one you snuggled with every night, the one you woke up to every morning, I wanted to be the reason your eyes light up but no he came and took that away from me” he spits with so much hatred.
How didn't I see what was going on? I was so caught up in my own drama that I didn't realized what was right under my nose. Did I lead him on? Did I ever give him a reason to believed that I wanted more than his friendship? My eyes are burning with tears that I'm fighting back it hurts to hear him say all of these things. “I did it because I was jealous,” he reach for my arm and I let him pull me into him. He needs this he needs closure to move on that's the least I can do for him. “I wasn't in a good state of mind I swear if I can go back in time I would do things differently” he says with tears in his eyes, with actual tears “I really am sorry Jane for everything” he pulls me in for a hug. For the first time I believe he truly means it. It pains me to see him in so much pain. “I accept your apologize” I wrap my arms around him.
He isn't the only one that needs closure I need it too. I've never really got the chance to say goodbye to my friend. The guy that greeted me on the airplane, the one that gave me a job. He pulls back pushing me at arms length to get a better view of me. “Thank you Jane,” he cups my face in between his hands “I wish you nothing but happiness in New York”. Before I can thank him he leans in and gives me a small peck on the lips.
“Mark,” I pull back slapping his arms off me. What the hell is wrong with him? This is not going how I attend it to go. “I know I just had to kiss you at least one time sorry not sorry,” he winks and walks towards the door. Asshole. I don't think I should mention this to Gabe he already hates Mark as it is. He opens the door and looks back “Not everything is as it seems sometimes the truth is more devastating than the lie” and with that he walks out leaving me even more confuse than before. What the hell did he mean by that? What truth was he referring to? Well that was something weird to say. I hope he got his closure because he'll never get another chance. I feel so exhausted it has been a long and weird day. I make sure my door is lock before jumping into bed.