Thirty Six
"Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?"
Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.
I never stopped loving you, Aria Georgia Morgan. I never will.
I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.
"You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t want to spend this life without you for another second. Aria, baby will you marry me?"
Christ, I had planned to wait for the perfect moment to ask her, but seeing the fear of rejection in her eyes and seeing the unyielding love in those eyes of hers brings to home how close we came to losing each other. I could have missed the chance to taste her French toast again. I could have missed the chance to love her, to cherish and treasure her for the rest of our days.
Aria gasps audibly and her beautiful eyes fill with joy and doubt. I reach up and take her hand in mine. Bringing it down to my mouth, I kiss her gently before reaching into the side pocket of the sweater I’m wearing for the small box I’ve saved for this exact moment. It’s been with me, either in a pocket or my desk ever since I walked away from her three frustratingly long months ago. I bought it that day, as if it was a promise to her that I wasn’t letting her go. I was simply giving her the time she asked of me. As Aria stands in front of me, I feel her begin to shake with hope of what I’m taking out of my pocket and when I look up into her face again, the smile she gives me is filled with affection and I can see how happy she is. I open the box and rest it in the palm of her hand.
"Aria Georgia Morgan, will you let me make you breakfast for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?"
Those bright, lightened eyes that I fell for on a summer day in downtown Chicago fill with what I know are tears of joy and she nods fervently.
"Gavin." She pulls me up to stand with her and throws her slender arms around my neck as she wraps her legs around my waist, not letting me move a muscle.
"I never stopped loving you. You are everything to me, too, and I would be honored to be your wife." Fuck, those have to be the best words I’ve ever heard come from her lips. I press my hands to her lower back, pushing her even closer to me and kiss her.
On a soft sigh, her lips part and I slip my tongue into her mouth just as hers sneaks into mine and we pour every ounce of love and regret and relief into our kiss that we can muster. I kiss her as if she has the last breath on earth and I have to take it from her. She kisses me as if we were never apart. I take her lower lip in between both of mine and suck, knowing the response it’ll elicit when a soft, desire filled moan comes from her lips and into my mouth. It’s only when she pulls away with a soft laugh and presses her forehead against mine that I realize we’re missing something.
"Wait, baby. I forgot one thing."
I gently set her feet on the floor again and dip to my knees once more. I am going to do this right; this beautiful girl deserves it to be perfect.
"You are mine, Beautiful," I whisper just as I slip the princess cut diamond on the ring finger of her left hand. Aria laughs softly again, one filled with joy and slides her fingers into my hair like so many times before.
"Forever?" She asks, her voice breathy from our kiss as I stand and smile wide, so filled with happiness I think I may burst.
"This is forever, Beautiful."
Then, I scoop her up in my arms and carry her into our bedroom to show her just how much I’ve missed her these past months.
The moment I set her down in the doorway of our bedroom I see the surprise flicker in her wide eyes. Turning her towards me, I take her hand and squeeze gently.
"I don't want you to live in fear ever again. He replicated our bedroom and I can’t change that no matter how hard I try. So I had my interior designer come in. Her name is Ivy and she's very talented. Now we can make new memories in a new room, this room. Do you like it, baby?"
Her mouth drops open and then closes, when a wide smile lightens up her face, I know her answer already.
"It's amazing, Gavin. Thank you so much."
I lift her hand to my lips and kiss her palm. As I lead my girl to our bed, I lean forward and whisper in her ear, sending my breath up her neck.
"Wait here."
She nods and I swiftly go to retrieve a small note I saved for the moment I would ask her to marry me. I want to make it special for her. For both of us. As I place the card of paper in her hand, Aria smiles for me, then crawls off my lap and on to the bed. I watch her and see the happy tears fill her emerald green eyes as she reads my words to her.
Aria,
I feel like my love for you grows each and every day. From now on, this is my promise. No more tears for us, only happy memories, baby. I'm going to give you my whole world, and then some. So, tonight is for you, I hope to always make you as happy as you make me every single day.
Always Yours,
Gavin
"Gavin, I love you so much." The words are music to my ears and the light that was gone from her eyes these last months is back in the shining emerald greens that stare up at me. I part her ivory white thighs and clasp her face gently with my hands.
"Forever," I vow. And as I make love to my beautiful girl, I thank God for bringing her back to me.
My girl.
My love.
My everything.
***
"You’re here."
I smile, though his eyes are still closed.
"I’m here," I whisper.
After a few minutes, I realize he must still be asleep because he doesn’t respond after those few words. So, I rest my head next to his and drift once again into a deep sleep.
"Mom? Mom?" I hear a sweet voice call me and know who it must be. I stop chopping vegetables at the kitchen counter, vaguely finding my surroundings weird as the kitchen in our home never had ceramic counter tops.
I shake the thought off as I enter a small room off the kitchen, it is painted a soft pink color and Tessa Lynn, looking much more like a teenager than a child, is sitting up in her bed as I enter.
"It’s OK, Mom," she whispers and I take a step closer to her, confused at her words. What was OK?
"It’s OK, Mom. You don’t have to miss me anymore."
I sit down next to her and kiss her on the forehead.
"I don’t miss you, Sweetie. You’re here with me."
Her eyes seem to lighten somehow as she gets up from the bed and goes towards her bedroom door. Opening it slowly, her face shows such love and sadness, it confuses me completely. What is going on? Is she going somewhere?
"I had to leave you and Daddy, Mom. But it’s OK. I’ll be with you in your heart and I’ll see you be happy like I know you are with Daddy. He told me he loves you so much. He misses you. You don’t have to stay anymore, you can be happy, Mom."
Suddenly it feels like everything is out of focus and I struggle to gain my balance.
"What do you mean? I want to stay with you."
Tessa walks over to me and crawls into my lap, resting one hand across my chest to feel my heart. All I can remember is-God, I love her more than anything.
"Daddy needs you, they all need you. Go, Mom. It’s OK to be happy again."
Her words are fierce with hope and sorrow and I hear the truth in them.
We’d lost her. I’d lost myself, but living again was the one thing I could do to honor our daughter. I had to, for her at least.
"I love you, Tessa."
I whisper, kissing her for the last time and watch as her beautiful face disappears before me.
"Aria? Wake up, I think you’re having a nightmare."
Gavin’s smooth voice breaks through my haze of unconsciousness and I reach out my hand to him to calm him. My eyes slide open and they immediately catch Gavin’s worried face above mine. I bring my hand up to his cheek and the corners of my mouth lift to reassure him.
"Not a nightmare, baby. I dreamed about her. She told me it was OK to be happy again." As I say that, I know in my heart it truly is OK. It still hurts. God, it will probably always hurt, the loss we’ve suffered, but the fact was that we had each other. Gavin had me and I had him and someday, maybe we’ll have children and when that time comes, I’ll want them to know about Tessa and how much she meant to both of us.
Gavin skims his hand down my shoulder and to my chest where my heart is beating.
"We’ll miss her every day and some days, it may be too much to cope with and when those days come, you’ll have me. Our daughter will stay in our hearts always. We won’t forget, baby. We can’t." As his blue gray eyes melt into mine, I wonder how I ever got so lucky to have a man like him fall in love with me. I pushed him away when he needed me most and though I know it was what I had to do, I regret ever causing him more pain than we’d already suffered. I never meant to hurt him.
"Thank you so much for never giving up on me-on us, Gavin."
I whisper, cradling the side of his face in my hand. My touch was tender, my love for him so transparent in my eyes. I see his blue gray’s heat with promise and the ever present love clouds the blue in them.
"I never gave you up. I won’t ever let you go, baby."
The fierceness in his voice makes me remember a part of my dream and it warms my still healing heart. I watch as the man I love pauses, clasps my left hand and kisses the ring on my third finger, the beautiful princess styled diamond that still takes my breath away. His eyes are tender upon mine as he speaks again.
"Please come home."
I smile wide, joy at those words courses through me. As if I want to be anywhere else?
"Happily."