Fret not, though, even if you are thinking of dating someone with kids, for that's just what we are here for – to give you useful, practical and workable tips for dating someone with kids! Take a look at the top 5 tips from our relationship management experts – and get your love-life grooving on the right track, too!
· Understand that the dating game is equally tough for singles as it for those with kids, if not more complex for the latter group since when there are kids in the picture, things can take a whole new perspective on what it means to go out, spend time alone or even do plan dates when it means to have the kids to take care of. So, a potential partner, if you are interested in someone with kids, you need to display sensitivity towards the issue of dating someone who has their responsibility on her/his head without making them feel you do not appreciate the situation. With time, effort and patience, dating someone with kids can be a great experience as long as you ensure their feelings are taken into consideration too.
· Not all romantic relationships involving children in the background need to end in failure; if handled maturely with the feelings of all considered, the relationship can teach new things about the relationship and the personalities of all people involved to everyone who plays an important role in the dating game. Arrange to meet your date's children at a suitable time, though not necessarily on the first date, but perhaps when you know things are progressing to another level for both of you and the children should be in the know, too. You may prefer the parent of the kid/s to disclose the dating scene to the kids as they may not take too well to the 'stranger' telling them something Mom or Dad should be allowing them in on.
· If things have gotten serious and marriage is being discussed, it is definitely time to let the kids in on the deal; do not rush into blurting out the decision to marry, but take time out to meet your partner’s kids, get to know them and make plans that include them as well in the arrangements as far as you can manage. This will take away from any feelings of hurt, helplessness or being side-lined as far as your partner's kids may well be experiencing for themselves.
· Work to eliminate any feelings of resentment, doubts and other negative emotions in the partner's kids with you being in the picture and reassure them you are not trying to usurp their natural parent's position (if missing due to divorce, death or other reasons) by that your partner (their parent) makes you happy and that's what you'd like to share with them too.
Do not attempt to take the place of the absent parent in your partner's life as the kids involved may resent this kind of intrusion or presumptuousness on your part when you are trying to bond with them. Instead, allow them to talk freely, share their feelings with you on the dating topic and others interests in their lives and clearly establish boundaries about mutual respect and love, discipline and how future decisions are to be made.