Kisses with Dreams in Them A Love Song for Bethany Part 2 by Stephen K Bess - HTML preview

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I thought some more about my sermon, prayed, meditated, took a hot shower, then went to bed. The Lord woke me at 2:30. 2 Peter 1:10 was in my head. “Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall.” I opened my laptop and started writing. Normally I don’t read from a transcript; I know what I want to say and refer to notes or an outline. Now the Lord was pouring the sermon into me, word for word. What else could I do but write. The words were coming faster than I could type them. Thank God for spell check.

Today should be a breeze, I thought on my walk to the chapel. No last minute jitters about the words coming out right. Everything was already typed out. My cell phone rang. It was Bethany.

“Morning, Doll,” I said. “Feeling better?”

“No, I still hate you. But I want you to know I prayed for you and I know you’ll do great.”

“Thank you, Miss Pretty.”

“Dylan, Dylan, Dylan. What am I gonna do with you?”

I was surprised to find the chapel filled to capacity. There were troops there that I recognized, others I didn’t. I was glad for the attendance and hoped the message would touch them. I looked out on the congregation with assurance. 

“THAT IS NOT THE SERMON FOR TODAY,” resounded in my spirit.

The words hit me like a piercing arrow. The sermon I held in my hand was to remain there; perhaps to be spoken another day or maybe just for my eyes to read. I nervously eyed the crowd, knowing I was about to be announced but having no idea what to say. ‘Be still and know that I am God, Be still and know that I am God,’ I kept telling myself, as a PFC led us in prayer. Didn’t God say He would speak for Moses? (Exodus 4:11-16). I have to trust. I stepped to the podium. There was an uncomfortable impasse as I eyed the congregation and they eyed me. What to say? What to say?

“Good Morning Congregation,” I began trying to buy time. “Though we just had that eloquent prayer, I usually start my sermon with a prayer. This morning I won’t. There is a time to prayer and a time to teach on prayer. If you have your Bible with you, please turn to Colossians 1 starting at verse nine. It reads as follows:

“For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have endurance and patience and joyfully giving thanks to the Father who qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.” (Colossians 1:9-12)

“Paul wrote this letter to the church at Colosse to address heresies that were prominent in that church. Though he doesn’t mention the heresies by name, his letter is sprinkled with innuendos to combat their erroneous beliefs. That’s why he starts out by stating he’s praying they gain spiritual wisdom.  Let’s examine that statement. Paul prayed for the Colossians to gain wisdom. A heresy is a belief, a doctrine, which is contrary to the established and accepted belief. In essence, an opposition, an enemy. To this church, Paul doesn’t come out and say ‘stop doing it.’ Instead, he prays that God will give them the truth and an understanding of that truth. I know everyone in this chapel was taught a million and one ways to destroy those that don’t believe what we do. Did you ever think prayer may change their thinking so it doesn’t have to come to a physical confrontation?  I’m not saying go against what you learned in boot camp. I’m saying add prayer to your strategy. The results may surprise you. And I’m also not saying pray that all Muslims become Christians. I know that can be a common thing back home, but don’t forget as American troops we stand for freedom; religious freedom is included in that.

“You don’t have to look to others to find heresies. Sometime you find them in the resources of your own mind. I know you’re in church right now, but are there some thoughts in your head that go against the will of God? When was the last time you prayed for Godly wisdom and understanding? Read line 12 again: “And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please Him in every way bearing fruit in every good work,” There is something in not just praying for others, but for yourself. Why? Read on, “…growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power that you may have great endurance and patience…” We all need to grow in the knowledge of God, myself included. I pray for this daily in spite of all the degrees and experiences I have.

“I’m the new kid on the block. My uniform is still clean, so I should be the last one to say this. But endurance and patience are what we need to stand on. I know you miss your love ones. I know you are on your third or fourth tour. It can be lonely and frustrating. There are some situations that you won’t be delivered from for a while. You need not only wisdom to face them but Godly patience and endurance. The power of the Holy Spirit gives that to you. So pray that you have it, that you know it when you see it. We are here as Americans. That stands for something. We are here as Christians, that stands for something even greater.

“Immerse yourself in the word of God. I say that only because I assume I’m talking to Christians. Why else would you be up early on your day of rest? If you’re not a Christian, but you came this morning to see what it’s all about, there is no better way to start your journey then reading the word of God. It’s often said by the atheist ‘I wish I met Christ before I met Christians.’ Meet Christ first, study Jesus and become like him. Prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit will give you all you need to become that person ‘worthy of the Lord.’ If you need someone to talk to in the natural I’m here to help.”

The past few nights they were whooping and hollering.  This morning they just sat there, the words touching their spirits, I hoped. Or maybe I just put them to sleep. All I know is I was on auto pilot.  I opened my mouth and those words came from my spirit.

“Rev Ramsey,” called a blonde-haired private after service.

“Hi, trooper,” I replied, extending my hand.

He accepted and said:

“Private First Class Franklin Ross. Is it possible to have lunch or coffee with you today?”

“Sure,” I replied. “I’m free right now.”

I shook a few more hands and prayed with a few more soldiers while Private Ross ran off to the DFAC.

I met with him about ten minutes later. Army food really wasn’t that bad. The Private had the Texas Breakfast (pancakes, fried eggs, sausage and bacon) I had coffee and a cheese Danish. I like to replenish myself after a sermon, but that was going to happen with a Swiss burger deluxe at an American café later that afternoon. I didn’t want to spoil my appetite or add to my waistline.

“That’s all you’re having, Rev. Ramsey?” Pvt. Ross said comparing his plate to mine. “I’ve seen pastors eat enough for the whole congregation after preaching.”

“I’ve seen pastors that weight three hundred pounds,” I replied. “I’ll get a Swiss Burger later. But you’ve been around preachers?”

“Full disclosure; my daddy pastor’s a church of about thirty-five hundred in Little Rock, AK. His daddy pastor’s a small Methodist church in Rogers, AK. It goes even further back. I say that to say I’m a PK. I was raised in the church.” 

“Good, I’ll come to you when I need help.”

“I wouldn’t bank on it. I know every Scripture, every hymn from old school Methodist to Hillsong. But it’s in my head, not my heart like my daddy and his daddy before him.”

“Which means…?”

“Which means, I don’t believe. As a kid that was all I knew. As an adult, I just don’t know. In fact, I’m at the point where I think it’s nothing more than a fairy tale.”

“Why is that?”

“It just is. I have no rhyme or reason. A few years ago I caught myself not believing the words I was saying in prayer; reading the Bible and not wondering but knowing it couldn’t be true. You might say ‘I saw the light.”

“Or the light dimmed.”

He chuckled.

“My daddy said the same thing but in much harsher words. Chrissy, my sweetie since middle school, left me cause she thinks it’s not right for believers to mix with non-believers. I still love and wanna marry her but you can’t want someone that doesn’t want you. I had to get away. Far, far away. So I joined the army and here I am in Germany.”

“…going to church service after church service. Sounds like you’re looking for something you’ve already found.”

“I don’t think so, Rev. Ramsey.”

“So why’d you ask me to breakfast on this fine Sunday morning, Pvt. Ross? You know I’m only gonna side with your daddy and his daddy before him. I don’t mind, we can talk anytime you like. But my conversation is going right back to Jesus.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk with you. Your sermon was so good. But you could have said a lot of those things without bringing God into it. We already have the power to choose how we think. It’s will power; positive thought, not prayer. The Holy Spirit and God just add a lot of unnecessary rules and regulations.”

“I was speaking to Christians---people who believe and want to hear about God and the Holy Spirit. We have to live in service to others whether it’s prayer or physically helping.”

“I believe that. Look at all the people that give to charity…help out when there’s a tornado or hurricane. You don’t need prayer for that.”

“One of the things I tried to instill is a Christian has to do it. A follower of Christ has to show love. There is no excuse.”

“But they don’t. I could tell you stories…”

“So could I---that’s why I preached that sermon. Question; why do you keep going to service? If you really don’t believe, why don’t you just go about your business?”

“I don’t know,” Private Ross said staring into space.

“Let me make a suggestion---Let God talk to you instead of you doing all the talking to Him. You know what your questions are---be still and let God answer them.”

“I don’t believe that’s possible. I don’t believe God talks to people. Bottom line, Rev. Ramsey, I don’t believe in God.”

“Yes, you do or else you wouldn’t be sitting with me right now.”

Franklin smiled and shook his head. His mind rejected my words but his spirit knew they were true.

“No disrespect,” he began, “but all you guys sound the same.”

“That’s because we hear the same thing. What are you looking for?”

“The truth, if there is any.”

“When did you stop believing?”

“I’m not sure I ever believed. Like I said--- it was all I knew.”

“But when did you begin to think everybody was wrong?”

“I didn’t think that.”

“You had to. Your whole world was Christian. Now you’ve become the light in this world of darkness. The voice of reason. What happened?”

“Rev. Ramsey, did you ever think about becoming a trial attorney? You sure have a way of twisting people’s words around.”

“Did I? I think I spoke the truth. Now, what was your revelation?”

He paused before he began his words.

“Cable TV.”

“Huh?”

“Cable TV. My Daddy wouldn’t allow it in the house---said there was too much nudity and profanity. He broke down when he found out about sports packages. My Mom said if he can get sports, she can get the news, He’s into sports, she’s into politics and education. With her channels came the History Channel and Smithsonian. They had all these shows about other religions and the Lost Books of Christianity. There was a whole world out there I knew nothing about. So how do I know Christianity is right?”

“Faith.”

“Faith?”

“That’s the only answer. You don’t have to watch TV to learn about other beliefs. Talk to people, visit other lands, Native American Reservations, you’ll find flood stories comparable to Noah, creation stories, formation of the earth, the universe. Why are they any truer than what is found in the Bible? They’re not. It’s faith.”

“If all of it is true then none of it is true,” Franklin said taking the final bite of his breakfast.

“Tell me, with all your questions about Christianity and all you’ve seen on TV, have you ever had a one on one with Jesus---asked Him for something and gotten it?”

“Yeah.”

“So what more do you need?”

“I don’t know.”

“Again I go back to my original advice, let God do the talking. You accepted His son Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. That makes you His child and gives you the right to ask Him anything. Seek and you will find. Just seek in the right direction.”

“You ready for that Swiss burger?”

“You treating, Pvt. Ross? You couldn’t still be hungry?”

“No, I was just asking. I’ve kept you long enough. If you need to go, please don’t let me stop you.”

He was politely asking me to leave. You can’t fight the truth. Eventually, it wins. You either accept it or keep running.

“The Swiss burger can wait,” I said. “I eat when I’m hungry. Maybe if I shower, change, take a long walk, I’ll be ready for it.”

“Everything in God’s time,” he joked.

“Yeah,” I said in all seriousness.  

Got a text from Bethany: Happy Day of Your Birth, Handsome!  An animated cake with glowing candles, floating balloons and streamers surrounded it. There was a link. I click on it and found a picture of Bethany holding a tiny puppy. I text back thanking her for the holiday greeting and asked if the dog was hers. No, belonged to a friend, but she wanted to show me something nice, make me smile on my birthday. My Doll in a bathing suit would have been more to my liking, but I appreciated the thought. Some things men and women will never agree on.

I kept my birthday off the radar. Though I shouldn’t be, I was surprised Bethany remembered. She didn’t say anything leading up to it and I never mentioned it. I had a few hours to myself so I wandered off base looking for a bookstore. I wanted to treat myself to a book I could only purchase in Germany. I found the bookstore but didn’t find any books I wanted. I found my way to the Swiss burger joint. That was my birthday celebration.

***

Life on the base was pretty routine. There wasn’t as much counseling as I thought. I imagined my day to day life as conversations on killing vs. God’s command. Instead, troops asked for prayer, for blessings. That’s a good thing. I just like a challenge. There was a service the night before Thanksgiving where I was the speaker. The theme of appreciation kept running through my head. How could I preach appreciation and thanksgiving when these troops were thousands of miles away from home just waiting to be dispatched to terrorist hotspots? I put on my military issued trench coat, turned my collar to the cold and damp, and took a walk in the midnight air. There is nothing like walking and praying. The movement keeps your mind from wandering. The night air spoke to me. I thought how great it would be to have Bethany at my side. I thought about being in Germany and how my prayer of military chaplaincy was answered and how empty a night can be when you’re all alone. All these thoughts but no sermon. I praised God and thanked Him for all He had given me. True I wanted to be in a warm bed with my warm Doll. But I was glad I was on this mission; that God had enough confidence in me to allow me to travel the world to bring His word. All this, but no word for tomorrow.

“What’s the word?” asked Rev. Jenkins as I sat in the mess hall, sipping a cup of strong coffee.”

“I wish I knew,” I replied.

“I’ve been there. Don’t worry it will come.”

He passed without another word.

The chapel was filled to capacity with troops and family members. Nothing like the holidays to bring out a crowd. The clergy was all in attendance. The only thing that wasn’t filled was my IPad with notes on tonight’s sermon. In the words of Yogi Berra it’s ‘Deja vu all over again.’ Crowded sanctuary, all eyes looking at me, not a word to say.

‘God take this thorn from my side!’  I thought. Wait that’s it!

“Turn in your Bibles to 2 Corinthians 12:7-10,” I said once behind the podium. “It reads as follows:

“To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations there was given to me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness so that Christ power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ sake. I delight in weakness, in insults, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

“Due to the constrictions of time, I won’t fully exegete this text. If you read the opening of this chapter, the writer Paul tells of a great revelation given to him by Christ. His point for this passage is he was given a great revelation but at the same time he is afflicted, a thorn in his side he calls it. We don’t know what that is exactly, but we do know Paul was in such pain he pleaded with God on a number of occasions to take it away. Paul realizes he can’t get conceited for all is given through Christ.

“I want to focus on God’s statement to Paul, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so tonight’s message should be one of what we are thankful for. Here in Germany, in the cold, away from family, friends, one might ask ‘what do I have to be thankful for?’ A preacher could get up and say ‘we should give thanks that the Lord woke us up this morning, that you have food on your table, the sun is shining, you have a loving spouse, beautiful children.’ I could say all that, and it is true. But what about reality. Yes, you are a child of God, but you’re not in the most comfortable place in the world. I know it’s a volunteer army, but face it, some of you may not want to be here. It’s one thing to be sitting at a big table surrounded by friends and family in America. That is something to celebrate, something to be thankful for. But the reality is you’re away from home, doing a job that can go from routine to mundane to boring, to life threating. So do I say ‘be thankful for what you have today for tomorrow is unknown?’ I could. But I say be thankful for God and what His power can do for you; His grace.

“Well preacher, that all sounds well and good, but in reality, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Like Paul, you have something to celebrate; grace. Grace is God’s gift to you. He didn’t have to give it, He did it because of His love for us. But also like Paul we have discomfort in our lives. There are two ways to look at this; Paul, like you, was picked for a specific assignment which God knew he was capable of handling.  Stateside, my message is always one of finding the call or gift God has given you. Today, I happen to be speaking to a group of men and women who have found one of their callings; the military. God has created you for this task, just like He creates some to teach special education, or to be an architect, or a symphonic conductor. Only they can do that. All roles come with blessings, yet they also come with struggles. Paul’s struggle was so bad he said it was from a messenger of satan. I can only imagine what that was. But God designed you to handle all that was placed in your path. That is what you have to be thankful for. He told Paul, His grace was sufficient for all situations.  The same is true for you.

“With grace comes the power of Christ, the power of the Holy Spirit. You truly can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. What you think you lack, Jesus comes in to pick up the slack. That’s why HIS power is made perfect in your weakness. God knew you could handle all the situations that would come your way; either through your own volition or the power of the Holy Spirit. As a child of the risen savior, you will come through no matter. That is what you have to be thankful for. You are more than conquerors.

“So tomorrow when you enjoy that drumstick, that dressing, the fellowship with your colleagues, know that you have everything to be thankful for; the seen and the unseen. Know that His grace is sufficient!”

***

I gave Bethany a quick call on Thanksgiving morning. She was with her fellowship about to leave for the family shelter. I told her about the dinner I was attending with the troops.

“Any Presidents, Secretary of States there?” she jokingly asked.

“No, I didn’t see any advance teams. I think it’s just us this time. How ‘bout you? Any local news teams comin’? Who knows, you might be seen on TV, discovered and whisked off to Hollywood.”

“Yeah right!”

“Beauty like yours is rare. The whole world is just waiting to see it.”

“I rather they see my brain.”

“They need that too. But first things first.”

“A transcontinental pig.”

“A degree earning brat,” I said then brought the conversation back to reality. “I’m at the mess hall and gotta go. I love you, Doll; brains, beauty and all.”

I could hear her smiling.

“Love you too, Dylan,” she replied. “You’re the best!”

There was a joyous spirit in the dining facility. It was 1:30 and already troops were enjoying their Thanksgiving meal. Many of my colleagues were also in place; some seated fellowshipping with the troops, others donning apron and chefs’ hat, serving spoon in hand. I opted for the latter. I found myself behind a large tray of mac and cheese, serving each troop with a smile.

“Did you pray over this, Chappie?” asked one trooper.

He said it with a smile so I didn’t know if he was serious or condescending. This comment caught me off guard. As a chaplain I guess I was expected to do this. I hadn’t and didn’t want to lie to the young man so I gave a little prayer over the food. I have to admit I rarely pray over my own food.  Though practically all Christians say ‘grace’ I never found it in the Bible so I don’t do it. Jesus was reprimanded by the Pharisees for not following the tradition of ceremonial washing of hands before eating. (Matthew 15:1-10, Mark 7:1-14).  Jesus, in turn, reprimands them, “You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men.” (Mark 7:8) Jesus goes on to say the Pharisees were more concern with being clean on the outside while remaining unclean within their hearts. All in all, I don’t see the necessity of saying ‘grace’. Am I thanking God for the food, for it tasting good, that the cook didn’t try and poison me, that I don’t choke to death on it? One should always give thanks to God but not let tradition take the place of the word of God.

I served for two hours. Everything looked and smelled so good I had to take a quick break and sample the wares. A plate was prepared for me. My mother had an expression, ‘Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.’ In this case, she was right, but I didn’t care. I had the servers pile on the mac and cheese, turkey, dressing, gravy, mashed potatoes. My tray felt like it weighed three or four pounds as I walked over to Rev. Dale’s table. I found him to be extremely interesting. He had a genuine spirit and love for Christ that one could sense a mile away. The only book he read was the Bible. When he wasn’t in prayer he was emailing or on his cell with his wife.  I joined him and found a very attractive female trooper stared into his eyes, hanging on his every word. The young Dale was oblivious to young woman’s attraction. I took a seat to his right, the trooper on his left. Her eyes never left his as she toyed with her vanilla ice cream.

“Hey, Rev. Dylan!” Rev Dale exclaimed with great enthusiasm. “Sgt. Yvonne, this is Rev Dylan, Rev Dylan Sgt. Yvonne.”

Sgt. Yvonne removed her eyes long enough to give me a fake ‘hello’ then returned to Rev. Dale.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation,” I began. “Go on, I’ll just tend to this great Thanksgiving dinner.”

“You’ll be tending to that for a long time,” Rev Dale joked. “You need to borrow my hiking boots to get over that mountain of turkey and potatoes?”

“It looked delicious and the price was right,” I shot back. 

“It was good. I can’t lie---I went back for seconds and thinking about going for thir---”

“You were telling me about your church in St. Louis,” Sgt. Yvonne interrupted, turning her full attention to guess who.

“Yeah, Rev. Dylan I was just saying how my church started small but I’m beginning to see some growth, praise God.”

“Yes, praise Him,” Sgt. Yvonne echoed.

“What do you attribute the growth to?” I asked after a swallow of spinach.

“Everything in God’s time. He calls the people He wants when He wants. I have no control over that.”

I had to agree.

“That’s true,” Sgt. Yvonne stated. “God always put the people you need in your life when you need them.”

“Everything has a season,” he added.

“Did you have a plan for your church?” I asked. “You know, world missions, help in the community?”

“No, I never did. I let God order my steps. I’m just a vessel. ‘Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.’ (Proverbs 19:21) So why bother make plans.”

Sgt. Yvonne nodded in agreement.

“Yes,” she added, “just like God called him to leave his wife and church to be here and serve us.”

“Wait, He didn’t tell me to leave my church and especially not to leave my wife,” Rev Dale corrected with a smile. “Jesus said, ‘Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.’ (Matthew 19:29) That’s what I’m doing. My wife’s the Associate Pastor so she’s in charge now. And we went over a list of speakers to preach when needed. I’m coming back. This is for a season. Jesus has a reason for every season. I just have to hold on to His unchanging hand and everything will be all right. ‘Trust in the Lord with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.’ (Proverbs 3:5-6)

“I love the way you can quote Scripture like that,” Sgt. Yvonne admired. “I go to church and I read my Bible, but I can never come up with the right Scripture at the right time.”

“I’m the same way,” I confessed. “I can live out what I read, but I can’t quote it. Sometimes I have to look it up to get the reference.”

I don’t think Sgt. Yvonne heard a word I said. Her thoughts were filled with Rev. Dale.

“It comes through study,” Rev Dale said. “That’s all I do, study the Bible. I don’t read other books unless they’re Bible related; the only TV and movies I watch are faith based. I don’t read the newspaper. All I need is the Bible. That teaches me everything I know.”

“Is your wife the same way?” I asked.

“She has a blog, her dad coaches a college basketball team so she likes sports. I don’t have time for that. I let her do her thing, she lets me do mine. That’s what keeps a marriage together.”

“See, if it were me I would be reading the Bible with you.”

“They have cheesecake,” I said. “Can I get either of you a piece?”

“Rev Dylan, you still can’t be hungry,” Rev Dale said. “You didn’t even finish your dinner and you’re talking about desert?”

“I heard the cheesecake was donated by a local bakery and they only have so much. I know who’s first shall be last and who’s last shall be first. (paraphrased Matthew 19:30) But I’m getting a slice before it comes to that.”

“You’re funny, Rev Dylan,” Rev Dale said as I rose from my seat. “Yeah, get me a piece.”

“I don’t think it’s funny,” Sgt. Yvonne said. “Using the Bible for your own purpose.”

“That’s the only way I know how,” I said leaving her with an even more perplexed look than before.

I returned almost immediately, after all, I left my dinner at the table. There was more then enough cheesecake so they gave me two humongous pieces.

“Man, you can’t tell me you’re not blessed, Rev Dylan,” Rev Dale said as I placed his slice in front of him. “Everything you do is overflowing. Your cup runneth over.”

“They have toppings back there. I didn’t know if you wanted any.”

“I wouldn’t say no to some strawberries and chocolate sauce.”

“They got it,” I said. “Go for it.”

“Yes indeedie,” he said rising.

“I’ll get it for you, Rev Dale,” Sgt. Yvonne said. “You work hard. Relax.”

“No, my sister. You work even harder. I’m here to serve you. Last chance, cheesecake? You have not, cause y