Kisses with Dreams in Them A Love Song for Bethany Part 2 by Stephen K Bess - HTML preview

“Right now we’ll just do the preliminary work; cleaning, necessary repairs. We’ll check out sound equipment online, but I think your voice will carry from the pulpit to the people. And let God lead. When people start coming they’ll see what needs to be done. They’ll tithe, and people can sow into projects. There will be more than enough money.”

“True. I just never ran a church before.”

“You were the Team Leader on mission trips. You had a budget, right? It’s the same thing only on a larger scale. And I’m a business major. It’s all set in place.”

“The next part of our journey,” I added.

“That sandwich looks good. Let me get a piece.”

“There’s one for you.”

“I want yours.”

She took a huge bit. Then another, leaving me with a small corner.

“This is really good!” she said. “You said you made one for me?”

“Yeah, but after eating mine I should take your.”

“You can have a small bite.”

I reached in the bag and handed her the sandwich. I pulled out a large brand muffin and a jar of peanut butter. She watched as I cut it in half and spread peanut butter over it.

“I didn’t know you brought that,” Bethany said.

“Peanut butter is just as good as trail mix.”

“Lemme get half.”

“Bethany!”

“I know, I know I’m getting fat! But all this hiking will work off the calories.”

The Doll’s beautiful body in cut off shorts and boots were getting to me. Her legs and shoulders glisten from the humid day making her more appetizing.

“I know something else that will work off calories.”

I pulled a towel from the bag and carefully laid it out. Bethany just smiled shaking her head.

“Dylan, I’m taking my time and enjoying my lunch,” she said sensually taking a bite of the sandwich, then captured a drop of mayonnaise with the tip of her tongue.

I laid down on the towel, leaving enough room for her.

“Take your time, enjoy your lunch,” I said smoothing out her side. “Then I’m going to take my time and enjoy you.”

I let Bethany take her time with her lunch, then indeed...

Bethany’s top was actually a swimsuit. She waded in the brook; I remained on the towel enjoying her from afar. I had rolled up the cuffs to my jeans and joined her, but the land and the towel was better for me. My soaking wet Doll walked out of the water and layed on top of me laughing.

“Bethany!” I said, her knowing I didn’t want to walk home wet.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me passionately.

“Dylan, I just love you,” she said with breathy passion. “You’re so unpredictable.”

“Me? I’m not the one who walked out the water soaking wet and jumped all over me.”

She kissed me again the rested her head on my chest.

“You know, Doll, I thought you would give me a thousand and one reasons not to make love out her. But not a word. Talk about unpredictable.”

A small smile spread across her pouty lips.

“I think I surprised myself,” she said. “I never had a second thought about it. I was kinda hopin’ we would. Not because it’s out here, but because it seemed so right. Just like every time we touch. Your kissed have dreams in them. Dreams for us, our lives, everything we do. Wow! Did I just say that?”

“Yeah.”

A perplexed look came over her face. I answered for her.

“Your theology is expanding. A few years ago you may have thought making love outdoors was against God’s will. Now you know it isn’t. You have no guilt, no shame…”

“Yeah,” she replied, finding it a little hard to admit. “The Bible says ‘there is no new condemnation for those who are in Christ.’ (Romans 8:1) I forget the rest.”

“…‘because through Christ Jesus the law of life set me free from the law of sin and death.’

“And what’s the part about the Holy Spirit?”

“‘You are controlled not by a sinful nature but by the Spirit, if the Spirit of God lives in you.’ It goes on, I can’t remember the rest.”

“I wish I had my tablet, I wanna read the rest.”

“This is our nature walk. Can’t you leave all that for a few hours?”

“No!” she defiantly joked. 

“The Holy Spirit convicts your heart when you’re going against God’s will. Guilt and condemnation come from religion. That’s why I don’t preach religion but relationships. He’ll tell you what’s right or wrong.”

“That’s so simple, and it’s been preached for a while. So why am I just understanding it?”

“A Christian walk is a process, a journey,” I continued. “The bolder the steps we take the more we understand and receive the message and promises of God. And speaking of process and journey, let’s start heading back. I’m hungry.”

“Me too. You know what would really be nice; a barbecue. Burgers, ribs.”

“Just the two of us?”

“For today, yeah. We could have one later with the Fellowship.”

“Let’s do it. We have all the stuff at the house.”

“We do, a grill, charcoal?”

“Yeah, I brought it a few months ago for such a time as this.”

“Always the theologian.”

The week saw Bethany going back to her studies, me going back to the church with mop, pail, broom, cleanser, lawn mower and gardening tools. I prayed with each push of the broom, every swab of the floor. Members of the fellowship would help out on Saturday. It was cathartic to work, pray and meditate for hours. My message for Wed night's Bible study was more than prepared.

“This word might be piggybacking off last weeks’,” I began. “Go to Roman’s chapter 12 verse 2, ‘Do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, the pleasing and perfect will.’

“Last week we talked about becoming the sermons you’ve heard. I said all those sermons were building you up to everything God created you to be. This Scripture is one you always have to carry in your heart. It talks about the power of the mind. Yeah everyone can scream, ‘I have the mind of Christ.’ (1st Corinthians 2:16), but do you keep it consistently? Yes, you have the power of the Holy Spirit in you, yes, sermons about God creating you as a unique individual with gifts exclusive to you are true. But none of that means anything unless you believe it and your mind is fixated on the mission God has bestowed on you. Don’t get caught up in bad news about the economy, unemployment, the shrinking job market. ‘Whose report do you believe?’ (Isaiah 53:1) is a frequently preached sermon topic. Once again I say, ‘become that sermon.’

“How do you transform your mind? How do you keep fixated on His will? One word; fellowship. Fellowship has two aspects. At times you might be leaning more toward one than the other, both are equally important. First, fellowship with the body of Christ. Whether it’s in church on Sunday’s or prayer with others or a weekly Bible study, you have to be with Bible-based Christians.  You have to share your knowledge and hear what others have to say. Being with like-minded people only strengths what you already believe.

‘Second, you have to fellowship with people that are successful in your area of expertise. Whatever God has placed in your heart you have to become a master at it. Study, read, go to lectures, get a mentor, but become absorbed in that field. Be with successful people; people, whether Christian or not, who believe that all is possible. This way your mind is always saturated with success. The most successful people in the world have failed a few times. And they will tell you that didn’t stop them. They went on. Stay far away from negative people. That includes Christians.

“One of the first things they instill in you in the military is, ‘follow the last order you received.’ If you receive one order and a whole platoon of colleagues and subordinates come along and say otherwise, you still hold to the word you were given until a higher authority gives you another. You have your orders from God, others may say ‘that will never happen, you’re too young to do that, women can’t do that, real men don’t go into that area, you don’t have enough money.’ Successful people have successful thoughts. No matter what the obstacle, no matter how many setbacks; defeat is not an option. You have to be in the company of achievers.

“That’s the message for tonight. I know it was short. I hope you got something out of it. Any questions?”

A few hands shot up. I took the first question from Robbie.

“Doesn’t the Bible say not to fellowship with non-believers?” he asked.

“Paul’s letter to the church at Corinth. 2 Corinthians 6:14,” I started. “At that church people of various beliefs were gathering. Paul didn’t want Gnostic teachings and other doctrines taught in a Christian meeting. So that scripture doesn’t mean not to have friends, associates or mentors that aren’t Christians. I would go even further and say we have to be with non-believers.  Corruption and other evils are prevalent in all industry. We have to be in the midst of them and retain Christian integrity. We have to go outside the walls of the church.”

“My question was the same,” said Sallie.

“To clarify,” I continued, “when you’re being mentored, you’re just learning about the subject at hand; you’re not discussing religion, political issues, lifestyles. You don’t adapt your lifestyle to theirs.  You gathering information, so you can be your best, to help change the world.”

“Change the world?” exclaimed Jimmy Preminger, a classmate of Bethany’s. His head seemed to be spinning at that remark. “I never thought about that. You think big, don’t you?”

“I get that from Bethany.”

She smiled at the compliment before shouting back:

“No, I get that from you.”

Now I smiled.

“We’re a team,” I continued. “That’s what I mean by fellowship. People working together. But all of you should think big. When I say change the world, I don’t mean you have to be on the world’s stage like the president or a famous entertainer. There’s a saying that all politics is local. That’s where real change starts; right in your own community. If it’s your call to be on the world stage do it. But if it’s your calling to run a daycare center, manage a restaurant, be an auto mechanic, a plumber, be the best you can be. You must be the seed of change.”

A few applauded, some nodded their heads in agreement, others were in contemplative silent thought. I looked over to Bethany. She fell in the latter category.

“Always keep in mind,” I added, “you were created to do it. If God placed it in your heart, He’ll give you everything you need to accomplish His goal. You’re just the instrument, the jar of clay. He’s the potter.”

“It’s scary,” said Sallie.

“Of course it is,” I shot back. “God wants you to leave your comfort zone. Do a search and find out how many times God or Jesus says, “Fear not.” It’s only natural to fear, but God tells us not to. Fear is not of God. (2 Timothy 1:7) ‘Without faith it is impossible to please God.’ (Hebrews 11:6) You have to rely on God cause He is taking you to the place He wants you to be; where you can only succeed through Him. So you have to have faith in Him. ‘With man this is impossible. With God all things are possible.’”

“Rev Ramsey,” began James Burke, “I saw on TV this preacher and he said that’s what the Scripture ‘I come in division not peace,’ means. (paraphrase Matthew 10:34, Luke 12:51). Jesus came to take us to higher heights. When you do that you might have to leave family and friends, they might disagree with your decisions. But if you know it’s from God you have to do it. Life won’t always be peaceful.”

“That’s good preaching,” I stated. “I always wondered what that Scripture meant. That makes a lot of sense. Glad I came to Bible study. I learned something new.”

The kids laughed but I really meant it. That’s the purpose of fellowship; everyone learns from each other.

“So when is the church opening?” Sallie asked.

“A week from Sunday. Everything should be ready for inspection this weekend. The inspector is coming on Tuesday. Once he gives us the okay we’re in business. So that Sunday is opening day!”

I was surprised at how large the congregation was. There were students from campus, a few neighbors and people I recognized from the shops and mall around town. Even unadvertised we at about ninety percent capacity. Unlike those times during the Program, sitting before this congregation I was prepared. I had my message and I knew in my spirit it was the right one. The whole service was outlined; decency and order prepared by God.

Bethany surprised me by singing a solo with the student choir. My Doll had the voice of an angel. I thought about making a joke about casting couch hiring --- well it’s written ‘the tongue no man can tame’ (James 3:8). Luckily, it can be bitten.

“If you have a Bible,” I began, “please turn to the Gospel of John chapter five starting with verse one:

‘Sometime later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for a feast of the Jews. Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie--- the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

The Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.’ (NIV)

“I would like to talk to you for a moment or two on the topic ‘On the Brink.’ You may have read this Scripture or heard it preached a thousand times.  I’ve preached from it. But with time, experience, going through different situations or just age, you see things differently. It’s the same Word, the same passage but now you see a new meaning. That’s what happened to me and this Scripture. When it’s preached you normally get the idea the invalid man is a loser. He’s right at the brink of healing; his dream is just a few steps away. But he stops; never taking the extra effort to achieve his goal. It’s often implied he gave up.  But what if it was the circumstances that kept him there; the reality of the situation. On TV I saw a story about a man who was laid off and having trouble getting a new job. He was determined and did everything he could, he learned new software, was the first one on line at job fair after job fair, sent out resume after resume, knew all the job websites, but all he heard was ‘no.’ Weeks turned into months, months into a year, a year into a year and a half. One day his little daughter said to him, ‘Don’t you want a new job?’

“Sometimes the outside circumstances don’t tell the inside story. Sometimes you do everything possible to win and still lose. The man did everything he could to get a job and the invalid made it to the edge of the healing pool but no success. So when the daughter or Jesus come along questioning, the answer isn’t an excuse but a reality. It’s not a pity party but ‘I’ve been doing everything I can and more but still nothing.’ 

“And Rev. Dylan, how did you arrive at this monumentous conclusion? To begin with, when preachers want to draw the conclusion that the man was a loser, they read from the NIV, what I just read from. In most other translation there is more to the story. The New King James:

“Now there is in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew, Bethesda, having five porches.  In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for the moving of the water.  For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had.  Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”

 The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.”

From this you can tell there is more to the man’s plight. It’s not that all he has to do is get to the pool. No, once there he had to wait for ‘a certain time’ when the healing occurs. There is no indication of when that ‘certain time’ is. Is it every hour, every day, or only when the angel feels like it? In other words, you have no idea. You just have to wait. And not just a lofty wait, like you’re sitting in an airport waiting to board your flight.  But an on your marks, get ready then stand there, for no one knows when that certain time is. And when it does occur, no matter how many are standing there, only the first one in gets healed.

“‘Do you want to be made well?’ The man’s answer isn’t a list of complaints but a list of realities. There are things in life that we are on the brink of, but racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, unexpected occurrences, rear their ugly heads to try and halt us. I’m not using this sermon as an excuse for not doing the leg work. I’m not talking to the person who sits on the couch all day and dreams lofty dreams; never starting on any of them for fear he can’t succeed. No, I’m talking to the person that has done everything possible. Not the person who is told ‘you have to go back and fill out his form,’ or ‘when you become more proficient in this software give me a call.’ No, everything on your part is done. Every T is crossed, every i is dotted. The only thing missing is someone has to say ‘yes.’ ‘Yes you got the job,’ ‘yes we accept your proposal,’ ‘Mom, Dad, I dropped the gang lifestyle and I’m going back to school.’  That’s something you have no control over. There are no lone wolves when dealing with success. It takes a team to achieve a dream.

“It’s interesting how we limit ourselves; even our relationship with Jesus. It’s often taught ‘with Jesus you need to plant a seed to fulfill a need.’ ‘You need to do this or that in order for Jesus to bless you.’ ‘You’re not getting the answer to your prayers cause you don’t have the right motives.’ ‘Jesus knows what’s in your heart.’ Even the Bible tells us that Jesus couldn’t perform many miracles in his home town because of their lack of faith. It’s often the belief that God isn’t going to do anything for us unless we first do something for Him.

“But what happens in our Scripture? Jesus asks the man a direct question, ‘Do you want to be made well?’ The man doesn’t say yes or no. He doesn’t recognize the divinity of Jesus and say, ‘You’re Jesus of Nazareth; just say the word and I’ll be healed,’ He doesn’t recognize the humanity of Jesus and say ‘You’re a big, strong, young man. Can you help me into the water?’ He doesn’t ask anything of Jesus. But what does Jesus do? He heals him. For all the talk of systematic theology, church doctrine, ‘you have to do this before Jesus does that,’ Jesus just did what he felt like. The bottom line is God’s gonna do what God’s gonna do. Sometimes there are no guidelines.  I would also submit to you that Jesus’s saying ‘Do you want to be made well?’ isn’t a sarcastic remark. No, it’s a declaration of help. I believe Jesus knew all the work the man had put into getting healed, and though odds were against him in the natural, Jesus was the supernatural answer. Jesus didn’t even put him in the pool. He just healed him.

“And knowing Jesus is gonna do what Jesus is gonna do, shouldn’t we approach Him without limitations? Doesn’t the Bible tell us to ‘go boldly before the throne.’ (paraphrased Hebrews 4:16) Anyone who knows me, and Bethany will attest to this, knows I love old movies.  I remember the first time I saw A Star is Born. If you’re not familiar with this film, Judy Garland plays Esther Blodgett, a singer in a small time traveling band. She meets Norman Maine, the biggest actor of that time. He recognizes that Esther has one of the greatest singing voices he has ever heard and wonders why she is wasting her time, her gift, playing small clubs in even smaller towns. He asks; ‘What are your dreams?’ She replies, one night while singing in one of these clubs, a talent scout will come in, discover her and she will make hit record after hit record. She will be famous. He tells her ‘there is one thing wrong with her dream.’ ‘I know,’ she agrees, ‘it won’t happen.  Then Norman Maine says something that surprised me. He says, ‘No, it might easily happen. Only the dream isn’t big enough.’ For the longest time, I had trouble with his statement. To me her dream was the dream of any performer, or anyone with ambition; someone in your profession will recognize your talent and open doors that allow you to live your dream. To me it seemed her dream was perfect.

“It wasn’t until I saw another movie that I got it.  I love 50’s science fiction. People today think of science fiction as computer generated special effects, green screen technology, but I’m talking about old school black and white science fiction. You know, the ones where you can almost see the zipper on the costume of the two headed monster; someone throws a pie plate in front of a picture of the White House and everyone screams, ‘Martians are invading America.’ They throw that same pie plate in front of the Eiffel Tower or the Tower of London and now the Martians have taken over the whole earth.  It was one of those films; I can’t even recall the name; that made me realize what Norman Maine was talking about. In this film aliens captured three American astronauts. They are lambasting the earthlings, saying ‘we are superior to you. We beat you in space travel, in technology, you earthlings are nothing compared to us.’ One astronaut puffs up his chest and says to the alien one of the most important lines in the history of the American cinema. He declares, ‘I am as big as the God I pray to!’ This low budget, black and white, long forgotten film, just summed our relationship with God. I am as big as the God I pray to. We are as big as the God we pray to. 

“If this is true, then going back to Esther Blodgett, her dream is small. Norman Maine is right; anybody can be discovered and be a famous. In fact, it does happen all the time. The question is what do you do after you attained that dream?  That is what we need to ask ourselves. What is our dream? Do we believe that God can fulfil it? What is the dream beyond that dream? We bring God down to our level of thought and accomplishment when we should be thinking on His’. A level where there are no rules, no systematic theology. Whatever God says, goes. He does what He wants. The only reason those big dreams are in your head is because God put them there in the first place. So go after it with all you got! Even if you think you’re falling short, just make it to the brink. Whether he puts you in the healing pool or just heals you Himself, if you don’t give up, God will bring you to victory!

“With this church we are on the brink of something great for the community---perhaps the world. You’re on the brink of a breakthrough, just do everything the Lord is telling you to do; cover all your bases. You will see the desires result. The church used to sing a song--- ‘He didn’t bring me this far to leave me.’ I’m saying the same thing.

***

Bethany looked like an angel as she slept; soft, beautiful beyond perfection.  I gently pressed my forehead against hers.

“I love you, Doll,” I whispered.

She smiled in her sleep. I continued to speak; again she smiled then put her finger to my lips to silence me. I took a peck. She removed it and allowed her full lips to touch mine. It wasn’t a kiss---just another way for our bodies to be as one and to keep me quiet.

I awoke with the birds. Bethany was already on the pouch, favorite coffee cup in one hand, her Bible the other. I retrieved my Bible from the night table, and then went downstairs to join her.

“Is the bed on fire?” Bethany asked as I slipped into the seat next to her. “You never get up with the dawn.”

“Get up with the dawn? That sounds poetic. I’m the writer. And do you have to be a brat first thing in the morning?”

She chuckled to herself.

“For once you might be right,” the Doll said. “I like it when we pray together. Have a cup of coffee with me. That would be nice.”

I saw Bethany didn’t need a refill then went to the kitchen to get a cup for myself. I returned to my wicker chair and enjoyed the greenery before me.

“Is there a waterfall around here?” I asked hearing the churning of water in the distance.

“You’re the one that does all the walking. I surprised you don’t know. It sounds like one, doesn’t it” she replied never looking up from her Bible.

While she read I returned to the scenery.

“Silent meditation?” Bethany asked after a time, noticing I hadn’t opened my Bible.

“I’m letting the morning speak to me.”

“You do that a lot; looking up at the stars, staring at the lake. I could never do that. I need to read, hear a praise song…”

“Ever hear of Muscle Shoals, AL?”

“A few people from school come from there. They talk about the food. What’s up with it?”

“The food? What about the music? That place is just as prolific as Nashville or Detroit. Some of the greatest music came from studios down there. But it’s the landscape---the Native Americans say the river sings to them. The rocks cry out to Him.  I believe the trees and the mountains speak to me. Not words, but I see and hear God in them just as much as if I were reading the Bible.”

“Really? I like the solitude in the mountains, but I do all the talking.”

“One day, when you’re ready, try it. Let nature speak to you.”

“How do I know it’s God and not some Native America spirit-thingie?” Bethany asked still immersed in her Bible.

“Beautiful things come from beautiful things. And if it was some Native America spirit thingie it might still speak of beauty, wisdom, you might learn something new.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. Anything that is good only leads right back to God. Ever read Thoreau, Emerson? They don’t mention a Christian God but some things they say is very Biblical.”

“They wrote Nature and Walden. The other day while I was waiting for my study group in the library, there was a book of Thoreau’s on the table. I skimmed through it. It was pretty good.”

“The land was blessed by God. Of course He speaks to me in it.”

“But a land can be cursed. The Bible and Native Americans speak about that.”

“True. But if you’re Spirit-filled you would know the difference. If the land says to you ‘you could bury bodies here and no one would ever find them’ you know it’s not God.”

I looked at Bethany. If she were texting it would read SMH.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing. Just thinking. I went on a youth retreat once. I was about 14-15. My pastor said for a half hours we should go off by ourselves, don’t take anything, a Bible, a tablet, no music, no talking to friends; just let the sounds of nature speak to you. I wasn’t a hyperactive kid but I couldn’t do it. Just thirty minutes and I was going nuts.”

“It’s like fasting. It’s a discipline.”

“I wonder if I’ll ever have it.”

 “You never know. Maybe that type of meditation isn’t for you and never will be. Of maybe one day you will appreciate it. We grow, we change.”

“Did you hear it over there? Or were bombs and bullets whizzing past your head.”

“I didn’t hear it in Afghanistan.  I would be sitting in the middle of the desert and hear nothing. It was still nature, still created by God. With no street lights, I could see every constellation in the sky---but nothing, no spiritual voice.”

“Why?”

“A nickel and dime explanation; there was no growth, no movement. Here the grass and trees are growing, the water is flowing. Sand doesn’t move.”

“But it’s still created by God.”

“You got me there. But I still didn’t hear anything.” I took a sip of my coffee. “Did you ever read Hesse---Siddhartha?”

“Siddhartha was never on the reading lists of the schools I went to.”

“Like I said all good just brings me back to God. It’s like a runner swimming laps to build up endurance or a football player taking ballet for balance and coordinat