10. Keeping it together
A fleeted glance out of the corner of his eye brought a dismal, pitched darkness, one lacking the illumination of a friendly moon – pretty stars. Diverting his gaze to his watch Ben saw the time, almost 11pm, practically closing time. He couldn’t stop though, he needed to keep working up a sweat, lose all the disgusting stones of fat clinging onto his meaty frame. If that’s what it took to get a girl it was the only way, no matter how tired and dehydrated he felt; he had to deny himself the luxuries of life if he ever wanted to find love.
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Making the last, customary checks of the night Lola walked around the gym making sure there wasn’t any late night enthusiasts lurking away in a cupboard somewhere. Walking wearily into the darkened gym she was surprised to hear the frenzied pace of a machine working in the corner. Her eyes allured by the noise followed it through the sea of desertion to a large figure slumped over one of the bicycle machines. She recognised it immediately as Ben, after all who would be able to forget his accident- prone persona.
“Hey Ben it’s lights out time. Better get your stuff and get on your way yeah?” Lola called out.
In response to Lola Ben’s hands grasped the handles of the bike firmer, his feet pounding away at the pedals. Didn’t she see? He needed to lose this weight; he didn’t need people like her demanding he get on his way.
“Didn’t you hear me?? I said its lights out time!” Lola repeated; her voice slightly irritated.
Ben gritted his teeth in determination, inside his mind he felt the same words revolving repeatedly round and round like a corkscrew, pounding at his temples, clawing at his sanity. Fat, fat, fat, again and again, it was all he heard. So many paths he could’ve walked down but they were all blocked, blocked by a disgusting, blubber ridden river of fatness. Only he could change that, and getting fit was the only way. Infuriated by his rudeness Lola stormed over to Ben, her mind intent on planting a ban on him for refusing to vacate the premises when asked.
“She said I’d have a family one day you know…people who loved me.” Ben said suddenly.
She stopped in her tracks. Suddenly exhausted from hours of non-stop exercising Ben stopped, climbed off the bike and with shaky steps fell to the floor.
Lola glanced down at him, aghast to see such a chirpy fellow look so crestfallen and lost, his face dripping with sweat looked hot and contorted with strain. Emerald green eyes stared up at her, full of an emotion she couldn’t recognise – pain, hurt – desolation? Maybe it was all three.
“Who said that?” she asked gently.
“Francesca… this girl I knew, I thought she liked me, wanted me. But the whole time she had a family of her own, was just using me, to see what it was like to be single again she said. Typical hey, a scapegoat as usual, that’s all I’m really useful for.”
“Hey don’t say that.” Lola said.
Ben rolled his eyes, a smirk in the shape of a lopsided grin falling on his lips.
“Why not? It’s what I am, all girls think so anyway. Because I look this way they never see inside, to see the person I am.”
Unconsciously her eyes fell from his gaze; trailed over the circumference of his face, fell on his lips. “What’s wrong with you?”
The smirk dissolved into a sarcastic sneer, his eyebrows raised in scorn.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know just to spare my feelings, I’m sure a girl like you sees it just as much as every other girl.”
“No… enlighten me?”
“I’m fat!! Look at the size of me!” he yelled indignantly, his hands roughly gripping onto mounds of flesh.
A chortle escaping her lips she just grinned at Ben, her eyes smiling.
The irony lost on him his face demanded an explanation, he was pouring his heart out to her and she just laughed?! Lowering her body to his level she stepped nearer to Ben, so near he could hear her heartbeat, feel the warm trickle of her breath on his neck. Her hair fell playfully over her face framing her pretty eyes, her cute nose, he’d found her attractive before but this close she really was a picture, no picture wouldn’t do her justice, she was a masterpiece…
Astounded by her closeness his breath caught in his throat as she silently lifted her hand, her gold charm bracelet catching his eye as her fingers swept gently over the scorned tears that fell down his cheek. It seemed such a feminine, tender emotion, one of such depths he’d never experienced it before.
“No I don’t see that… what I see is those eyes of yours, so green they could rival a ocean. Or even one of the prettiest gems in the world. Now if no one else can see that they’re not worth the ground they stand on are they…” she whispered, her voice inches from Ben’s ears.
They say the eyes are the insight to the soul and at that moment Ben’s certainly were. His feelings of fatness washed over him as such a genuine; heart given comment took their place. A grateful smile engulfed his face, beaming at the benefactor of happiness. She smiled back; suddenly aware her lips were inches from his. As the tension increased Lola remembered her duty, backed off suddenly from a flabbergasted Ben.
“Hey I really think it is time to go now, yeah. I hope you’re okay now but I’ll probably lose my job if we don’t get out of here soon.”
“Okay, thanks. For everything.” Ben muttered. “Anytime.” She grinned.
That night, that near kiss… it paved the slave for everything.