11. LaLa Lola
Dappled rays of sunlight filtered through the crack in the curtains, illuminating the sleeping form in the bed. Stuck in a half conscious, half unconscious state of mind Ben felt himself drift in and out of sleep, every time he felt like he was falling, falling into a state of oblivion he had no idea how to get out of, and every time he woke just before his fate could be realised as a hand, a slender, female hand became his saviour. Whose hand was it? Who was offering him this chance of salvation? Feeling his stomach jerk once more he knew he was falling, felt the sharp wind at his skin pinching as the depths grew wider, his eyes saw nothing but the morbid blankness till once again a hand, then a body then a… gasping he sat bolt upright in bed. Now he’d never know who the mysterious alias was.
As his heart gradually slowed down to a gentle beat he glanced around the room, saw nothing but Barney, swimming nonchalantly around his little tank, air bubbles piercing the picture perfect image. He waited till his heart stopped hammering before attempting to pull back the twisted covers, his muscles aching from his strenuous workout the night before. Staggering into the shower he let the warm flows of water wash the aches away, rubbing at the joints gingerly with his fingers he thought over the previous evening, remembered how close her face had been to his, the way she had looked at him. So why did she pull away? Did she like him or not? He didn’t really know but the truth was she had the chance to kiss him and she didn’t so obviously it was all a mistake, no surprises there then.
Sighing Ben languished in the last few seconds of the warming spray before getting ready for work.
Exhausted from a frantic, busy morning Ben wound down for his lunch break. Glancing over at José he caught his eye, nodded at the chrome timepiece on the wall.
“You ready for lunch mate?” Jose swiped at his brow. “Just about.” He grinned.
Grabbing their jackets from the back room the two men headed towards the local pub, an image of a cool, refreshing beer languishing seductively in their minds eye. Work might not have been finished yet but one beer wouldn’t hurt, and Ben for one was in serious need of a relaxant, a tasty beverage that would relax his languid body, unleash the confusing, mixed up images of the night before that he was dying to be rid of, yet didn’t know how.
“Soo…” Jose started, coming back with two pints of Guinness. Ben looked up, noted the inquisitive look on his friend’s face.
“What happened to you yesterday? You didn’t turn up for the evening shift or lockdown, you was lucky I was there or your shop would’ve been a free house for all the local thieves round these parts.”
A sheepish look crossed Ben’s face.
“Sorry…” he paused suddenly, as if deep in thought. “I just felt so down after that Francesca debacle that I spent all evening and night in the gym, I had to try and get rid of the fat that seems to describe my whole person.”
Jose shook his head, his eyes sad. Why did Ben think being overweight made a huge impact on people’s opinion of him? If they thought any less of him as a person just because of that they’re hardly worth knowing in the first place. If only he could see that. Noting the knowing look on Jose’s face Ben took a long gulp of his beer, felt the images of last night regurgitate themselves on his tongue.
“She was going to kiss me, I know she was. But she didn’t, she stopped, why?!” Ben muttered; his voice strained.
His eyebrows rising in shock José gasped in disbelief and puzzlement. “Who? Francesca?”
“No. The gym receptionist… Lola…”
His face aghast, his eyes wide and staring Jose’s whole demeanour screamed for an explanation. “Wow… you certainly made an impact on her then hey Ben!” Jose gasped.
“I don’t know… I don’t understand it myself, how it happened, it just did. I keep going over it in my mind and seeing her face inches from mine, her lips even closer and I’m thinking WHY? Why did it happen… but most of all… why didn’t she kiss me?” He trailed off, his voice sad.
Dipping his finger in his beer he traced his finger around the rim, his eyes down set and confused. Jose smiled, reached out for his friend, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder.
“Here it can only be a good thing you two coming so close to kissing. It doesn’t matter that she pulled away; maybe she just felt it was a wrong moment, you were upset and she didn’t want to take advantage. It’s nothing at all to do with you being hideous and her feeling sorry for you.”
His mood lifting with Jose’s words of optimism, Ben smiled and looked away from the beer.
“You know you are so right! I’m going to get out there and make the first move! Just you watch this space, this time tomorrow I’ll no longer be a single man!” Ben crowed triumphantly.
His once relinquished human spirit shining once more he downed his pint and threw back his chair, heading for the door. Jose stared bewilderingly at his friend’s rapidly retreated figure. How on earth had he gone from doom and gloom to ecstatic and happy in ten seconds flat? It didn’t seem human.
Realising he was unaware of the new and improved Ben’s intentions Jose grabbed his coat and followed in Ben’s wake.
His eyes sweeping the length of the narrow, tightly packed street Jose found his gaze settling on the large, gaily swaying figure in the distance.
“Hey Ben… Ben wait!!” Jose yelled, projecting his voice in front of him.
Aware of his name being called Ben stopped in his tracks, turned around and squinted curiously at the rapidly approaching Jose.
“Hello my friend.” Ben said happily. “What may I do you for?”
His overly joyful mood was as mystifying as it was pleasant.
“I was just wondering where you were off to so suddenly… and in such a lovely mood, when ten minutes ago you were on the brink of depression!” Jose said.
Ben winked.
“Ah, yes, well I heard what you were saying and realised you were so right. Why would Lola get so close to kissing me if she didn’t actually want to? Obviously like you said she was scared of making the first move so I thought if I do it then she’s got nothing to fear has she!”
Jose nodded hesitantly.
“Yeah sure but I don’t know, you’re not going to do anything silly now are you?”
Pulling his friend into a huge bear hug Ben pulled back and grinned, an impish look imprinted on his face.
“You know me Jose.”
“Yes only too well and I also know your relationship history. Ben if you and her have any future you don’t want to be going and scaring the poor girl off!” Jose insisted.
“Oh nonsense. She likes me and I’m just going to show her I like her, and I don’t care what you say, I’m going. Ta-ra.”
Furious at Jose’s pathetic attempts at reasoning Ben turned his back and stormed off into the distance. Whilst he had always managed to retain dignity and pride from shattered dreams of love, Fran’s betrayal of the one thing he had ever wanted – family - had really jeopardised any further chances of happiness. But now he had a hope, a tiny shining light in the distance that could soon be dazzling if only he let it. Lola was different, he knew she was and he was going to do everything in his power to show her this. Realising that you can only really learn from your mistakes Jose remained where he stood, hoping with all his being that this time it really wouldn’t be a mistake. He would truly hate trying to salvage the few remaining slivers of Ben’s broken heart…