Eventually after weeks of therapy and on evaluating my progress the doctor suggested to Aashi to take me to places where I went with Rahul. They were very clear that medicine would only help temporarily in relaxing my nerves and lowering my anxiety levels whereas natural therapy and talking with the psychologist would be slow but effective in the long run. I would hear everything but never respond because it seemed like a waste of energy.
But even now just the mention of Rahul would spark an interest and bring some life to my otherwise colourless existence.
Despite all the therapy and help I could not tell nor wanted to expose Rahul and his presence in my life. I felt he was always there by my side. Even during the session with the therapist, he would always sit by my side. It was because of his encouragement and pushing I started even with the monosyllabic responses. He would always say he wanted to hear me loud or push me to the extent that I had to answer.
Gradually and with lots of love, care and patience everyone was able to get me to start talking and responding a little to conversations. A lot of it was my little sister who was growing into such a smart wonderful woman. Once I even smiled at something Aashi mentioned, which bought tears to her eyes. The feeling of achievement and pride in her eyes made me feel good for the first time in ages.
Even though I had started reacting and responding to everyone there was no mention of Rahul and his death.
I know slowly and steadily I was coming back to life and 108
no one wanted a setback in my progress. But it did not matter even if they did not talk about him because even with all the therapy and talks I still felt Rahul’s presence and his love surrounding me all the time. I would always have him by my side holding my hand, talking to me. In fact we even fought this one time. Something about work and me becoming boring and a vegetable. But that was all good because I had him all the time with me so nothing mattered in the end.