I woke up late this morning. That means I had a lot of time to sleep and rest. I should be well rested but I have been feeling groggy since I awoke. A bit out of sorts, anxious, I feel as if I am forgetting something important. I don’t think I am but maybe after my brain clears of this fog, I’ll remember something.
The fight I had with Misbah yesterday is probably what is making me feel this way. I hate fighting with him. Maybe I should call him … no, I’ll let him apologise first.
Meanwhile, I have a craving for sugar. I know it would be wrong, just wrong, to eat cookies for breakfast, especially if they were chocolate chip. Although, if I had some tea first, cookies would technically be the second thing I’m having this morning.
Misbah’s knack for eating junk food may be rubbing off on me. I smile to myself as I recall just how he goes through bags of chips one after the other.
Our fight comes to mind once again, and my rising mood takes a plunge. Pushing away the sad thought, I command my feet to move. I fill the kettle with water, and right when I am about to heat it, there is a knock.
An excited bump happens in my chest. So, Misbah has come to say sorry. Maybe I’ll let him sweat a little first.
On getting to the door, I reach for the latch. Something makes me remember Misbah’s lectures. Wanting to avoid another speech this morning, I pause and look through the peephole.
What is Eric doing here?
Disappointment replaces the anticipation. Guilt quickly follows it. I paste on a wide smile and open the door. ‘Eric! This is a surprise.’
‘A pleasant one, I hope.’ Handsome as always in a fitting dark shirt and Khaki slacks, Eric beams at me. ‘Hello, Dollface.’ His smile turns a little sheepish. ‘I hope you don’t mind me dropping in on you like this. It’s just …,’ Eric sighs in a way that makes him look endearing. ‘I enjoyed our time together yesterday and thought we could spend some more time together … without others present …’ He tilts his head gently.
Wow. I am such a terrible person.
‘I don’t mind, Eric. I enjoy spending time with you.’
His grin widens.
Wearing a bright smile, I turn to lead him into the living room.
Something makes me halt.
With a curious frown, I turn around. ‘Wait, how did you know my address?’
Eric’s face freezes. His smile drops, and then it becomes brighter than it was before. The hesitation was only about a second long, but that was one second too long.
Warning bells go off in my head. The wider Eric smiles, the louder the bells clang.
‘You must have mentioned it in conversation.’
‘No, I don’t believe I did.’ My head is pounding heavily, but I maintain a steady voice.
‘Well, you must have. How else would I know this?’ He blinks innocently.
Please tell me I did not pick another psycho.
Something in me must have known that something was off the instant I saw Eric’s face through the peephole. ‘I am hoping you’ll tell me.’
Eric stares at me. Perhaps he sees the knowledge on my face because his smile falters.
‘I would like you to leave, Eric.’ My face is now devoid of a smile.
Like a film in slow motion, I watch Eric’s face transform. His eyes lose their sparkle and turn hard. When he speaks, his voice comes out harsh. ‘How rude! Don’t you know you should entertain guests when they come to see you?’
Hoping to calm his anger, I attempt a smile that I’m sure does not reach my eyes. ‘I’m sorry, Eric. I am not in the mood to entertain this morning.’
‘Shut up!’
Shocked, I shut my mouth. Whatever I was going to say disappears from my mind entirely.
Still as if in a movie, Eric moves towards me in a stalking fashion.
With each step he takes forward, I take one in reverse till my back hits the wall. ‘Eric?’
‘Shh.’ He smiles again: an evil smile. He caresses my cheek lightly with the back of his hand.
My skin crawls.
‘I watched you at the party yesterday. I knew you wanted to be close to me. We wanted each other, didn’t we?’
I shake my head.
Eric flicks a finger against my cheek, making it sting. ‘Don’t lie, you’ll make me angry.’
Why can’t I move? I should defend myself. Why can’t I think clearly?
Eric grips my cheek with one hand. The grip is so hard that I fear my teeth might break from the pressure. His second hand covers a breast over my robe and squeezes hard.
Because of the time of the month, my breasts are sore already, making the resulting pain unbearable. Unbidden, a weak sound leaves my mouth. Tears roll down my face.
Eric gives a low cackle when he sees the tears.
To block out his face and the pain, I shut my eyes and will myself to fight.
There is a bang.
I open my eyes.
A few feet to my left, Misbah stands at the entrance with his mouth open, probably about to call my name.
Thank God he hasn’t learnt to knock. Thank God he remembered his key today.
Misbah stares at us with disbelief written on his face.
Eric’s hands go lax on my body parts.
When Misbah’s accusing gaze clashes with mine, he frowns and then his eyes go flat. Without a word, he marches forward.
Eric is slowly withdrawing his hand when Misbah reaches us.
He grabs Eric by the shirt collar and with a rough yank, pulls him away from me. At the same time, Misbah pulls back a fist and lands Eric an uppercut.
Fear grips me when Eric’s head snaps backward.
Misbah lands another punch on Eric’s face.
Eric’s eyes roll up in their sockets. His body sags.
Misbah throws Eric’s motionless body down and punches him yet again. Thereafter, he kicks him over and over and over.
My heart is beating faster and faster. This show of violence terrifies me to my bone marrow.
What Eric did was the worst but it numbed me. I could not feel anything, do anything.
What Misbah is doing deeply disturbs me in a way that I can’t explain. There’s blood all over Eric’s face but I don’t know where the blood is coming from.
‘Misbah, stop,’ I shout, surprised when the words actually leave my mouth. Grateful that I can speak once again, I call out, ‘please, M, that’s enough. You’re going to kill him.’
‘That would be no more than he deserves.’ Misbah grates out in a cold voice. He delivers another kick to Eric’s midriff.
Feeling completely exhausted, I slide down to the floor. I lean against the wall with my knees up. ‘Please, just stop.’
At last, Misbah stops. He eyes Eric with disgust, spits on him, and grabs the motionless body. Opening the front door, he hauls him outside. ‘Bastard!’ Then he shuts the door and turns the key. Misbah glares at me with some of the rage remaining in his eyes, ‘This is what you ditched me for?’
I open my mouth to say something, but my teeth chatter, making words impossible. Tears, hot tears stream down my cheeks. I try to stop the tears but I can’t stop them no matter how hard I try.
Misbah’s eyes soften and he squats in front of me. His tone gentles. ‘Hey. Hey. It’s okay. You’re okay now.’ With an audible sigh, Misbah lifts me. ‘Come on.’ Holding me close, he goes to the living room and places me on a sofa.
Before he straightens, I cling to him, burrowing my face against M’s neck. I’m not ready to be left alone, and his familiar scent calms me.
In silent understanding, M sits on the chair with me in his lap.
Wrapped around each other, we provide and receive comfort, until I drift off to sleep.
***
I don’t know what wakes me. Perhaps it’s the feeling of being watched. I open my eyes to find Misbah sitting on a short stool, watching me contemplatively.
‘Hey.’ Misbah’s mouth softens in a smile but his eyes look severe.
Determined not to fall apart again, I sit up. ‘Hey, back.’ I try a tentative smile and feel grateful when the smile comes easily. ‘How long have I been asleep?’
‘About an hour.’
Stretching my arms over my head, I lean against the chair rest. ‘Have you been watching me the whole time?’
‘Not the whole time.’
‘Just most of it.’ I smile again when Misbah stays silent. ‘M, I’m fine.’
‘That remains to be seen.’ He straightens. ‘I was going to carry you to the hospital, but I thought you should wake first.’
Huh? ‘You what?!’
‘Can you stand?’
‘I don’t need-’
‘We need to get one of those emergency contraceptive pills. Then we need Post-Exposure Prophylaxis; HIV is real. We also need to test for any other STDs. I know this is difficult for you, but we need to do these immediately, okay?’
He’s panicking. He looks calm on the surface, but he’s panicking inside.
This realization brings me some comfort, strangely. ‘We are not going to the hospital, M.’
Misbah holds my hands. ‘Reana, please, this is not something to be shy about. When there has been sexual assault like this-’
‘There was no sexual assault.’
M tilts his head in confusion. ‘I thought … he did not force himself on you?’
‘He tried to. What you saw was the extent of it.’
Visible relief comes over Misbah’s face. ‘He had just started. Okay. I thought he … it seemed ... And when I saw your face ... you looked like you …’
He frowns, ‘you were—are—in your robe.’
‘He arrived just as I woke up.’
Misbah’s frown deepens. ‘I thought your date was last night.’
I recall my words to M on the phone last night.
Sometimes, my mouth …
‘Actually, that was a bit of a lie. We did not have a date.’
Misbah nods slowly. ‘So, what was he doing in your house?’
‘He just showed up. I let him in. Then I asked him how he knew my address because I am sure I did not give Eric my address. He got angry and attacked me.’
Misbah’s eyes fire. ‘He stalked you then?’
I shrug, ‘probably.’
Misbah nods slowly. It’s as if he’s cataloguing these details. ‘Are you sure you’re fine, Reana? Don’t hide anything from me.’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Do you need to talk to someone?’
‘M,’ I attempt another reassuring smile. ‘It’s fine, I promise. I froze, and then I fell apart. It was great that you came when you did, and I am glad that you remembered your key today.’
M chuckles, making me feel just a little bit better.
‘I don’t need to see anyone. But,’ I raise a finger when M opens his mouth. ‘If I need to talk about it some more, I’ll let you know. Deal?’
Misbah nods slowly. ‘Deal.’ He gives my hands a final squeeze and rises with a heavy sigh. ‘I checked outside earlier but he was already gone.’ He twists his head back and forth as though stretching his neck. ‘Ha! Hm! I am going to find that bastard, and I am going to mess him up. By the time I’m through with him, he’ll wish he never met you.’
The look in M’s eyes reminds me of the look on his face when he was beating Eric. It scares me. ‘M, I need you to promise me something.’
‘Anything.’
‘Promise me you won’t go after Eric.’
He looks shocked, obviously not expecting this. ‘Excuse me?’
‘Promise me you won’t go after Eric.’
‘Is this a joke?’ He tilts his head and his eyes harden anew.
I swallow. ‘I don’t want to visit you in prison for the rest of our lives.’
‘So, you want him to go scot-free? A rapist?’
I understand what he is trying to say. If M hadn’t come when he did, Eric might very well have done worse.
I avert my gaze. ‘Not scot-free. I’ll go to the police. I’ll file charges against him.’
M remains silent, staring me down with those eyes.
‘Maybe a restraining order?’ I add, grasping.’
‘Ree, you can’t seriously expect me to leave this … this-’
‘I do.’
M does not seem to be softening. He sits down again, leans forward and speaks in a flat tone. ‘Ree, if he had attacked anyone at all, I would have wanted to bash in his head. But, he went after you. That means I want to finish him. Don’t worry, I won’t kill him, I’ll just make him sorry.’
‘Can’t you let the authorities deal with him?’
‘No!’ Misbah snaps. ‘I’ll deal with him myself.’
‘Your mulishness is showing again, Misbah. Can’t you understand? I want him out of our lives completely. I don’t want to traumatize myself any further by having anything to do with him.’
‘I won’t involve you,’ Misbah insists.
‘So, you’ll add that to the list of things you’re keeping from me?’
M’s expression becomes guilty.
Got you!
‘Listen, I get how you feel, M. I also know it takes strength, the kind of strength I know you have, to let something like this go. I’m asking you to let it go for me.’
Misbah’s tone is softer now. ‘Reana, you should understand that I am doing this for you.’
‘In that case, you should do what I want and not what you want, don’t you think?’
His headshake is slow. ‘I know people like that, Ree. He’ll be back. If we do nothing, he’ll return. I may not be around the next time he does.’
It takes me a moment to get over the fear. ‘I’ll report him. I’ll make sure he’s locked up. If he does return, then I, myself, will ask you to treat him as you wish.’
M watches me silently for a long moment. ‘We’ll regret this.’
Not as much as we’d regret it if you accidentally killed someone.
‘Maybe, maybe not, but, this is what I want for now.’
Misbah shakes his head in resignation. ‘You are the most infuriatingly stubborn human being I have ever met, Reana. Do you know that?’
I smirk and lean back in my chair, knowing I’ve won this one. ‘I know nothing of the sort, sir. Have you met yourself?’
M does not laugh at my cheeky reply. He watches me silently. I can’t read him in this mood, but if I were to guess, I’d say he’s thinking. Well, whatever he’s planning, we’ll know soon enough.
‘I owe you for this, M.’
He replies absently, still in his thoughts. ‘There are no scores between friends.’ Misbah shakes his head with finality, showing that he has completed his thinking slash planning. ‘Have you eaten yet?’
‘Uh-uh. I was about to make something when he arrived.’
‘Hm. You know, I should be angry with you for leaving like you did yesterday. If you’d stayed at my place, maybe-’
‘M, please, not now. By the way, I forgive you.’ Sitting up, I peer at him. ‘You came to apologise, did you not?’
Misbah looks as if he might deny this but then he nods.
‘Thank you.’ I get up. ‘Let me go and put something together. You’ll eat too, I imagine?’
‘It’s okay. Get dressed and get your stuff. I’ll buy you a late breakfast on the way.’ Rising from his perched position, Misbah slips his hands into his trouser pockets.
With a slight frown, I pause. ‘Get my stuff? Where am I going?’
‘Back to my place. You live there from today.’
And there’s his plan.
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Yes, you do. You want me to stay away from your rapist boyfriend, I will. You don’t live here alone anymore for now.’
‘He’s not my boyfriend and I can handle myself.’
‘Right,’ Misbah smirks.
‘Don’t be a jerk. Also, why do I have to be the one to move? You could move in here instead. I’ll even buy a box of toothbrushes.’
M chuckles, ‘you know that’s never happening.’ He sobers. ‘Look, Ree, on a more serious note, letting you stay here alone is not an option. We need to be cautious. I need you to trust me on this, okay?’
I guess he’s right. ‘I suppose living in a mansion where I don’t have to do any chores isn’t much of a hardship.’
‘That’s the spirit.’
‘How long am I staying?’
M shrugs, ‘until he gets convicted, at least. In addition, I need to know where you are at all times. In fact, try not to go anywhere without me.’
‘Aren’t we getting a little carried away here?’
‘Not really. Come on now. I’ll take you to Indulgence.’
My eyes widen when I hear the name of my favorite restaurant.
Seeing the reaction, Misbah smiles, pushes. ‘I’ll take you to Indulgence if you get ready in twenty minutes.’
‘Thirty.’
‘You have twenty five.’
Remembering something, I rise sharply, ignoring the twinges in my belly and the stiffness in my joints. ‘I have to clean the corridor first. Eric’s blood must be all over the place.’ I cringe, just thinking of what I am going to see.
‘Don’t worry about it,’ Misbah responds. ‘I’ve cleaned it.’
Oh.
‘Really?’
Misbah nods.
My heart swells.
M can be really amazing sometimes.
‘Thank you, M,’ I breathe, smiling.
Feeling lighter, I take a few steps away when Misbah says, ‘oh, and you might want to do something about that stain.’
In a panic, I pull my white robe forward to check for the stain behind. I don’t see anything there. Confused, I look back only to watch Misbah dissolve into laughter. ‘You think this is funny?’ I pin him with a look.
‘Oh, yes. You should have seen the look on your face.’ He laughs again. ‘I should prank you more often.’
Idiot.
I head to the bedroom.
‘Twenty minutes more.’
With a bang, I shut the door on the sound of the accompanying laughter.