Part 5:
We now come to the fifth and final sense: touch.
Touch is the most powerful of all tools. Touch your dream mate in the right way, and he or she will start desiring you, wanting to be completely attached to you—physically, spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. It’s literally the “final touch” to your plan of seduction.
But as with the other senses, for the “final touch” to work, you have to provide your dream mate with strong and meaningful tactile experiences.
Take a minute to think about what a strong and meaningful tactile experience means. You’ll realize that part of making such an experience means: 1.) giving your dream mate plenty of highly pleasant things to touch or feel, and 2.) touching your dream mate tenderly and passionately, at the right time.
Start with tactile details
Giving your dream mate lots of pleasant tactile sensations starts with your own body and clothes. You’ll need to pay attention to details, and have a little imagination to see how you can extend the joy of such experiences.
Is your hair interesting to behold and touch—not greasy to the touch, but something clean and smooth that your dream mate would love to ruffle with his or her fingers? What about your face, hands and skin, do they look clean and clear enough to invite someone’s fingers (or lips!) to dwell there? (Hopefully you do your best to make the answers to all these questions a “yes”.)
What about your clothes? Or the upholstery of your car, furniture, and other personal items? Does the cleanliness and texture of the fabrics you use subconsciously invite your dream mate to look and touch them? Perhaps, even snuggle a little closer to you?
Don’t overlook such details, because the pleasure of touching comfortable or luxurious fabrics is a subconscious memory we all have from childhood.
For example: Children—both male and female—are powerfully reminded of their mother’s love whenever they touch satin or any other fabric they associate with their mother’s lingerie. Or, the warmth and feel of beautifully-worn leather is often associated with calm, kind but strong masculinity.
We still carry such touch associations into adulthood. If you wear something that your dream mate might possibly associate strongly with the positive or lovable figures in their own lives, you can be sure that their mind will therefore associate the same pleasant or happy feeling they generate, with you!
The same goes for the venues you and your dream mate go to for dates. There are an infinite beautiful and pleasurable touch experiences out there! Everything from beach sand, water, grass, snow and wind, to sunlight, sun-warmed wood, fireplaces, pillows, carpets, dry autumn leaves, lovable pets’ furs, silks, or air-dried cotton laundry. Just imagine how so many pleasant sensations, when associated with you, can help make your dream mate smile and fall deeply in love with you.
Touching your dream mate
We now come to the most important aspect of seduction: actually touching your dream mate.
Physically touching your perfect mate is the most direct way of penetrating his or her soul. But you need to know when and how to do it.
Knowing your dream mate first
The art of touching is based on knowing who your dream mate is. Knowing who your dream mate means you’ve taken the time to observe him or her—using the rest of your four senses.
Who is your dream mate, and what is he or her like? What does she or he like? What will he or she consider OK and not OK, too conservative or very exciting, when it comes to physical intimacy? Have you been observing your dream mate’s every move? Have you identified the simple signs or actions that tell you who your dream mate really is?
If you still can’t give straight and clear answers to the questions above, be patient. Give it a bit more time, and try your best to observe and understand your dream mate.
Once you think you know what he or she is like, try to analyze in your mind what sort of “touch” he or she would enjoy from you, and in which situation.
Excited yet comfortable
People can fall in love with someone outside their comfort zone who excites them and makes them deliriously in love. On the other hand, they can also fall in love with someone who just makes them feel comfortable, the way a familiar face or old sweater does.
But if you want to achieve a really deep seduction, you will have to make your dream mate feel both excited and comfortable with you.
To achieve this, you need to 1.) create an atmosphere of trust and comfort for your dream mate, and 2.) put the promise of unbridled passion and deep meaning to every touch you make.
Comfort and trust
Some people need a friendly, warm hug to feel safe and secure. If you handle this right and allow a person to get completely comfortable with you, you can later on unleash a passionate lion when the proper time comes! If you’re too hasty and rush your dream mate to physical intimacy, you will surely lose him or her.
First, your dream mate needs to feel comfortable. This always starts with a gentle, respectful hug. The more you make your potential mate comfortable at first, the more they are going to want to do a lot more with you later. The right kind of touch is what will get your dream mate coming back for more. And when you finally get into your first sensual, sexual experience with your dream mate, touch means everything.
Create a feeling of a security blanket around you and your dream mate. Make sure he or she feels comfortable, to the point of not wanting to leave your arms. Your dream mate should feel like you are everything he or she needs to keep safe; and with your arms around them, nothing can get to them. By doing this, you will create a comfortable setting that your dream mate will soon want to explore with you.
Be careful about putting initial boundaries or invisible touching “rules” between you. It’s not just about courtesy and safety. It’s also a way of “psyching up” or exciting your potential mate!
Deep down, every person, young or old, are like innocent little children for whom you initially define boundaries between what’s “safe” and “not so safe” or dangerous. When a small child begins to be aware that there are safety boundaries, they often try to explore what’s beyond the baby gates you’ve put up at the threshold of a flight of stairs. Eventually they try to crawl over or pull them down. Only when you feel the child is ready and strong enough to explore without danger do you remove the gates. The same logic applies to your adult dream mate. Simply hug your dream mate and make him or her feel safe and secure, and soon they’ll want to do a lot more than hug.
When someone feels you can be trusted—because you respected their personal space, schedule and their sensibilities—and didn’t press or rush them into what you want, you will soon be in for a wonderful long-term relationship with them. You will connect at new, previously unknown levels with that person. Soon, the way you physically touch one another will be a sensual experience that penetrates both your souls.
A promise of excitement with every touch
While matching whatever mood you are trying to create with one another, touching your dream mate should also always be done respectfully. Only if you’re sure you both feel like tearing your clothes off can touching one another be more bold or assertive. You need to make sure that when you touch your dream mate, you not only keep his or her interest at all times but penetrate his or her soul. This is true at whatever level of physical intimacy you might be at, whether you’re merely hugging or holding hands, or having sex.
Sex is easy for anyone to do at any time, but to move someone in the deepest part of his or her soul, you’ll need to make sure to change the way you think before you touch your dream mate. This way every move, every touch means something: a sincere gesture of intimate, passionate love.
If you pay attention to the way you touch, and how touch should reflect your passion and sincerity, you will see your entire life change before your eyes. Love will come naturally into your life, and life becomes a lot easier, and far more enjoyable.
When you and your dream mate start becoming physically more intimate, try to be creative in how you touch him or her. What I mean by this is you need to find ways to express your passion through touch. I don’t mean acting like a crass sex maniac every time you and your dream mate meet—I am talking about depth and finesse here!
The way you touch someone should spring from truly knowing and accepting what will make that person happy. It’s not about what will bring you (and only you) pleasure or happiness. So instead of simply being all over your dream mate like crazy from the word go, check yourself first to see if every move you make—literally—is motivated by your desire to give your dream mate pleasure or happiness. Because if not, you’re probably thinking more of your own definition of pleasure and happiness—which may not by in sync or even suit your dream mate.
Ask yourself: how do I make the experience of being with me a wonderful touch experience for my dream mate? How do I make sure he or she stays, and won’t run away? How does touching come into play?
You need to base all your actions on this kind of thinking. It’s the simplest way of knowing how to touch your dream mate. It’s even better than precisely mapping out seductive moves in your head. If you focus on what your attitude and thinking should be, how you physically touch your dream mate will be more in tune with the other person’s psyche, and be more spontaneous rather than planned. A dream mate can tell if you’ve been planning your physical moves in detail (e.g. Week 1 – dating; Week 2 – kissing; Week 3 – “first base”). While some form of imaginative planning is needed, seductive over– planning can backfire because you may come across as a person filled with guile, rather than love or sincerity.
Be sincere! Be in tune with your dream mate! Allow some spontaneity when it comes to touching your dream mate. You can afford to relax and let go of any sexual insecurities, if you meet your dream mate well-prepared and focused on understanding his or her character.
And don’t worry too much about how “seductive” or sophisticated you ought to be when you seduce your dream mate. It’s not about knowing a slew of sexy moves or touches. It’s all about understanding who your dream mate is. Once you have this depth of understanding, you’ll automatically have the right instinct and confidence to touch your dream mate in the right way, at the right time.