More than Okay
Hunter mutters a curse under his breath and pushes himself off me, storming down the corridor and jolting down the spiral staircase. I follow him on shaky legs. He flings the door open with an irritated, “What the fuck?!”
“Morning, Hunter. Isabel here?” I hear Max question. The memories from the night I had with Max overwhelm me. I jump away from the door and press myself against the wall next to it, sinking down into a crouching-position, praying he didn’t catch a glimpse of me.
“Why?” Hunter asks, his patience thinning very quickly.
“Falcon called. He’s worried. She didn’t come back last night. Rex told me she left his party with Hero. Checked with your mom, Hero’s there. She told me to check with you, thought Isabel might be here.”
“Called you or the station?”
“Me,” Max says as if offended that the thought ever crossed Hunter’s mind. “Everybody doesn’t need to know Isabel’s business.”
“She’s safe.”
“Is she here?”
“She’s safe,” Hunter repeats, refusing to answer him.
“Is she here, Hunter?” Max snaps.
Hunter’s spine straighten and his shoulders square. I stand, snatching my damp boots from the floor and sidestep Hunter. They don’t need to fight. Hunter doesn’t have the best record in the world, and he doesn’t need assaulting a police officer to the list. I force my gaze to the ground, unwilling to look Max in the face. I’m dressed in Hunter’s T-shirt and boxers while my hand was down Max’s boxers only a week ago. I clutch my boots to my chest, keeping my head down and stepping out the threshold of the door. “Yeah, I’m here.”
“Let me drive you to Falcon’s. They are delirious over there,” Max says, his voice super gentle. “Everyone is worried about you.”
“Okay.”
“Sure you want to leave with him, Isabel?” Hunter asks cautiously.
I keep my eyes on the wet ground and nod. I just confessed I loved him. I can’t afford to look at him yet and see nothing in return. “Yes. I’ll call you later.”
“Wait,” Hunter whispers. He briefly disappears in the house and comes back to put his gray jacket on me, zipping it all the way up to my neck.
“Thank you,” I mumble. Without another word, I dash to Max’s cruiser.
It’s silent as we pass the vast areas of wilderness. Cherry Creek is such a lovely place to live. Open fields, streams, and cherry trees that go on forever. The scenery takes my breath away.
I feel Max’s eyes bore into me. I think he’s upset with me; he has every right to hate me.
God, I’m such a fucking mess.
“Max…?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry…for everything.”
We stop at a red light and watch as a herd of wild deer gallop across the street and into the other part of the misty woods. “You know, Isabel, pain is a greedy and vengeful thing. It doesn’t care who it burns. The inferno you have within you will char people; some might not be able to endure the blaze. Just remember that when you feel like going off the deep end,” Max says, as if speaking from experience.
My throat tightens. “I’m so, so, sorr—”
“Enough,” he says firmly, cutting me off. “All is forgiven. I was worried about you when you disappeared from my house, thought you ran off to the nearest football player—” he teasingly wiggles his brows and I shake my head, smiling “—but Hunter stopped by and we had words.”
I lift a brow. “You had words?”
He nods, idly tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.
“Words, really?”
He glances over at me, his lips lifting up at the sides and an amused expression crosses his face. “He basically told me to stay away from you or he’d break my neck. Since Hunter is Hunter, I know that he’s very capable of doing it. But the way I see it, you’re worth more than a broken neck.”
The herd clears and we’re moving again, heading back into the inhabited part of town. “I don’t think I am,” I mumble sheepishly.
“You are,” he replies earnestly.
“I don’t know if you have noticed, Mr. Officer Man, but I’m really sick,” I say in a sugar sweet voice of innocence.
“Oh, I have no choice but to notice, Pumpkin. You’re terribly ill,” he teases.
“Possibly deranged,” I add, laughing.
“Certainly deranged, no doubt about it,” he jokes, laughing with me. His violet eyes twinkle when they meet mine and he smiles in a way the leaves me breathless.
My heart flutters. “I don’t get it, Max. You were such a jerk in high school. You’ve changed, drastically. What happened?”
“I was young and stupid, still young but a little less stupid,” he answers truthfully.
“I thought you hated me.”
“I did, or I thought I did,” he confesses matter-of-factly.
I sag back in the passenger seat, my brows snapping together. “What?”
He looks at me briefly, raises his brows. “I did, only because I wanted you and Hunter made sure I never had you. We fought so damn much back then. He protected you from every single guy, except Falcon. I think in his mind, he owed you Falcon if he couldn’t have you in that way. I was an ass and took out my frustrations on you. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“B-but I was there in the bathroom when you guys rushed in. He said I didn’t exist. I was invisible, I still am invisible.”
“You’re anything but invisible, Isabel. It’s all an illusion with Hunter. He wants you to see what he wants you to see. It’s a major game of deception, know the rules and play it the best you can.”
“So he wants me, or wanted me?”
“Positive.”
“Do you want me?”
He glances at me warily. “After the other night, I’d be lying if I say no.”
My stomach does a somersault. “I had no idea.”
His stunning eyes roam my face and he smiles. “Clueless looks cute on you.”
I smile back, but Derrick’s voice creeps from the corners of my mind.
“Everyone says that Max raped Lily and that’s why they’re not together anymore.”
Max pulls into Falcon’s driveway. He reaches for the switch on the main console to unlock the doors, but before he does, I blurt out, “Did you rape Lily, Max?”
His spine stiffens and he turns to look at me, his eyes narrowed and darkening. “Did, Hunter tell you that?”
The first initial emotion that surges through me is fear, fear because Max didn’t immediately deny it. “No,” I whisper, my hand reaching for the door handle. “Just forget I asked.”
He gives his head a slight shake, dragging his hand down his face and then sags back in the seat, staring straight-ahead with a faraway expression in his eyes. “I never meant to hurt Lily,” he murmurs almost too low to hear.
In shock I grip his knee. “Did you? Did you hurt her?”
His brows frown and his forehead creases with wrinkles. There’s a strong desperation and pleading in his eyes that turns my blood cold. “I did, but it’s more than what you think. She forgave me long ago. But still. After all this time, I can’t find the strength to forgive myself. I gave up college. I gave up football and I lived for football, but I didn’t deserve it, not after what I put her through.” He drops his head, shutting his eyes, his face contorting into a mask of pain.
I give his knee a supportive squeeze. “It’s okay. You don’t have to talk about it.”
He places his massive hand over mine, flicking his eyes open. “I feel like I can trust you.”
“You can,” I assure.
“Then you deserve to know. Maybe we can talk about it over lunch or coffee.”
“Dinner…at your house. Pick me up at nine?”
He jerks his head. “Isabel, maybe we should meet at a public place.”
“Why?”
“I want you to be comfortable around me. A public place will be better in case you aren’t.”
“Don’t be silly, Max. I am comfortable around you. If I remember correctly, I was the one that had my hand shoved down your pants.”
He grins and I grin too. “So nine?”
I nod, agreeing.
“What do you like?” he asks as he pushes down on the switch that unlocks the doors.
I shrug. “Doesn’t matter, surprise me.”
“Surprise you? I think you are a little loony, Isabel,” Max laughs, a sad and cheerless tone underneath it.
“Only a little?” I tease, opening the door and scooting out the seat.
My bare feet hit the wet, cold pavement and frigid morning air cuts right through Hunter’s jacket and boxers, leaving me chilled to the bone. I shiver and run up Falcon’s sidewalk that leads to his porch. I jog up the four steps but turn to wave at Max. “See you at nine!”
He gives me a small smile and a salute before he backs out and disappears down the road.
The doorknob turns before I can open it. Harmony swings open the door, her eyes puffy and red, dressed in her matching pink pajamas. She stalks out and slaps me clean across the face.
My eyes screw shut and my hand files to my stinging cheek. I blink the tears from my eyes, stunned and perplexed.
She releases a soul-shattering sob, a stream of wet flowing down her face. Harmony throws her arms around me, knocking my boots from my hand and sending them soaring in the air. I have to hold her up as her entire body trembles against mine. “Don’t ever do that shit again.”
I stroke her hair and then her back. “I’m sorry.”
“You ran, lovebird. I tried to follow you, but you didn’t leave a trail. There was nothing to follow. God, I was sick. I thought you…” she doesn’t finish her sentence as she stuffs her face in my neck and weeps.
Thought I killed myself.
Seeing her in so much pain and knowing I’m the sole cause of it, makes my soul ache. “I’m sorry, Harmmy. I got scared and bolted. I didn’t mean to hurt you. If you haven’t noticed lately, I’m sort of fucked in the head.”
She snorts and leans back, holding me at arm’s reach. “Are you okay? And I don’t want a bullshit answer. No rainbows and gumdrops.”
“But I like rainbows and gumdrops,” I joke.
She gives me a tight smile, wiping at the moisture on my cheeks.
“I’m okay, Harmmy. Really, I’m more than okay.”