Seams are Unraveling
The first hour and a half, I had to listen to Falcon thoroughly scold me in front of Harmony and Victor. I felt embarrassed and slightly humiliated, but I knew it was necessary, to keep the peace around here. Harmony and Falcon threatened to call the hospital and put me on involuntary psychiatric hold if I don’t get myself “together” and acknowledge the “common sense” I was born with. They also told me that I have one more time to behave “ridiculously” and that after that I would be in a padded room with real loonies, and that was enough to shock my system. Being held against my will in a mental intuition while some psychologist probes my brain is not a part of my objective to catch my brother’s murderer. There’s nothing like raw and unadulterated fear to keep you from crossing a boundary. So, for the most part, the intervention is a successful one.
I now slouch in one of Falcon’s cushiony large armchairs, dressed in snug jeans, a faded green jacket, and Converses. My hair is unruly and spills down my shoulders and back. It has grown so much; I probably can benefit from a trim.
Harmony, Victor, and Falcon chat amongst one another about the town’s Winter Ball as an old Christmas movie plays on the screen, unwatched. Nuzzling my nose in Tyler’s bear, I watch the second hand of the antique German wall clock sluggishly tick by. It’s 9:45 P.M. Max hasn’t shown up yet. Maybe he’s the one that isn’t comfortable with me. Or maybe something more important came up and he didn’t have time to cancel. I don’t think he has my number, because I definitely don’t have his. When Hunter recovered my phone from Max, Hunter deleted all their messages from the text and call war they were involved in the night I was at Max’s. Hunter also deleted Max’s number from my phone.
Hunter hasn’t texted or called me either, but this doesn’t come as a surprise. I honestly don’t know what his motives are when it comes to me. I mean, what does he really want? Maybe I should just ask him the next time I get the chance.
I’m still unsure about the identity of GreenFrog.
Who could it be?
It could be anyone within this small-town of Cherry Creek, North Carolina.
Maybe it’s Max!
Or Hunter!
Or both!
I laugh a little and Harmony and Falcon swing there gazes towards me, giving me an odd look. I shake my head and stare at the TV screen.
Hunter and Max together?
No, certainly not both; I don’t think they can tolerate each other long enough to pull something that elaborate off.
Vic’s eyes land on my face and he frowns. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“I don’t think Max is coming,” I mumble into Tyler’s teddy.
“Why are you going out with him, anyway? To piss Hunter off?” Falcon questions suspiciously, his eyes narrowing.
“No! Max is really nice and he’s easy to talk to. We’re just hanging out,” I say nonchalantly.
“Hanging out?” Harmony questions, smiling impishly.
“Yeah, hanging out,” I confirm.
She looks at Falcon and their eyes lock for the longest moment in speculation. He grins and her smile broadens.
“What?” I ask, sort of annoyed that I don’t get the inside joke.
“Max had a thing for you all throughout high school,” Falcon adds.
“Yeah, so? He told me. I had no idea.”
“He still has a thing for you, everyone knows it but you,” Falcon educates. “Max is probably fighting back nerves, not to mention a boner every time he’s in your presence.”
My eyes widened in disbelief. “What?”
“Don’t be so naïve. Think about it, Izzy. You’re the girl he wanted since high school. He fought Hunter and me because he desperately wanted a taste of you and couldn’t. Now, he’s going to have you at his place, alone. Izzy, Max hit the fucking jackpot,” Falcon pronounces.
“So he wants more than to just hang out?” I ask, feeling an unhealthy amount of excitement pumping through my veins.
They all nod, including Vic.
My face contorts into pure confusion, but before I can reply the doorbell rings. I rush to the door with everyone on my heel. I fling it open and see Max, dressed in casual clothes with a friendly smile on his face.
The ride to his house was silent. He picked me up in his black Suburban and we listened to some kind of sounds of nature CD. I pressed my lips together and had to stifle laughter when crickets actually started chirping smoothly through the speakers. He glanced and me and laughed for the both of us.
I’m relaxed into his soft couch, watching him play a game from the Call of Duty franchise. He’s sitting on the floor; his back is slumped against the couch and the controller is between his legs. Max made tacos and hot coco for dinner. He had my mug overflowing with puffy white marshmallows. Max remembered just how I liked my coco. That was something I didn’t expect from him, and it oddly had my heart beating a little faster. The tacos were pretty good, the meat was sort of dry and burnt but I still ate it. I didn’t want to be rude.
“Are my tacos that gross?” he asks, his eyes glued to the mega screen as Max blows a zombie’s head off.
“What?” I laugh, it’s like he can read minds, too.
“I mean, you took a nibble, a tiny nibble at that. Didn’t touch your plate afterwards.”
“I had cereal before you came.”
“It’s alright, Isabel. You can tell me the truth. You think my tacos suck ass,” he announces, a smile on his face.
I watch as he switches his firearm to a blowtorch to annihilate more zombies. “The meat was dry and burnt. They were still good, though. But seriously, I ate half a box of Lucky Charms not even an hour ago.”
He snorts and gives his head a slight shake. “Lucky Charms?”
“I love Lucky Charms,” I say, pretending to be offended. “I can basically live off them. But I pick out the cereal and leave the delicious marshmallows.”
His brows lift in amusement. “So you’re telling me that you can live off dehydrated marshmallows?”
“Mmmm, for the rest of my life. They’re good.”
He scrunches up his nose, poking out his tongue in distaste.
“Hey don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it,” I warn, laughing. “Maybe, if you’re nice to me, I can treat you to that delicacy on our second date.”
Max pauses the game and turns his neck to the side and stares at me. His eyes are wide but he’s smiling a sweet, shy smile that I feel in my belly.
“What?” I ask, smiling too.
“Our second date?” he prompts, his smile broadening.
“Well, um…I was just—” I can never stop my word vomit. At times, I have no filter.
“Relax, Isabel. I’m teasing,” he laughs, cutting me off and resuming his game. His eyes revert back to the screen, a playful smile still playing on his lips. “Yeah, you can treat me to dehydrated marshmallows on our second date, because I plan to be nothing but sweet to you. I swear.” Though he’s joking, his last words sound more like a serious vow of some kind.
I dramatically fan myself with my hands. “Ooo, Max. You really know how to make a girl feel special.”
“You’re a goof, Isabel,” he mutters, grinning.
I nod and throw my legs on the couch, curling into a ball and sinking my body into the comfortable cushions.
“Grew up with chefs. My culinary skills are more than undeveloped and very basic. I burn water. You said surprise you and I wanted to cook for you. Always wanted to make tacos, never had a good reason to do so until tonight. Went to the store and bought groceries, I Googled instructions and everything. Managed the toppings that were already prepared, all I had to do was pop open sour cream and salsa containers and rip open bags of sprinkled cheese and shredded lettuce. But when it came to the actual cooking, I got in over my head and burned the beef. Everything seemed to be a disaster. Nerves got to me and I was debating on bailing on you and not showing up at all, but decided against it. That’s why I was late.”
“That’s sweet,” I coo, because it is. “Why am I causing you so much stress?”
Max being sweet to me doesn’t make sense, unless he’s trying to overcompensate about feeling guilty about something…something like murder?
No.
That doesn’t sound right.
Max didn’t really know Tyler.
He has no motive…
“Honestly, I just like you, always had.” Max’s soft voice pulls me from my thoughts. “Every time I saw you, you were either laughing, or smiling, or sometimes a weird but cute combination of both. But you still looked so sad. It was more than your looks and, let me tell you, Isabel, you’re sexy as fuck. I was drawn to a pretty face, but there was a more complex reason beyond my attraction to you.” He stops the game again, turning his head to gaze directly into my wide eyes. “It was in your eyes, they’re very captivating in a dark, tortured, fathomless sort of way. They are beautiful, flecks of emerald green and hazel brown, but also cheerless. I think, as bizarre as this may sound, I wanted to soothe your misery and anguish away. I wanted to be the one who gave you that.”
Speechless, my breath catches in my throat.
Soothe my misery away?
Hunter never said anything like that to me.
We stare at one another in complete silence for the longest time until Max smiles and sighs, scrubbing his hand over his face. “You must think I’m a psycho-freak-stalker slash rapist. I’m not. I’m just…” he trails off exhaling deeply.
“Sweet,” I murmur, finishing his sentence for him.
His eyes drift over to me and his face softens. “You think I’m sweet?”
“Yeah, kind too,” I whisper, licking my dry lips.
His eyes drop to my mouth and back up, but I witness them darken before that happens. “There are others who disagree. But that’s a nice thing to say, Pumpkin.”
My heart beats noisily against my ribs. “Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why would people disagree with me?”
His eyes briefly search mine, then he smiles, slow and beguiling. “You really want to know?” he asks as if a dare.
I nod, eagerly.
He pats his leg, gesturing for me to lower myself down on the floor. I slide to the carpet and sit next to him, my side pressing into his. “Closer, Isabel.”
I scoot closer.
“Closer,” he whispers, causing me to shudder from the huskiness of his voice.
I lean in an inch.
He shakes his head, his eyes on me and clearly displeased. Max taps his upper thigh. “I want you here.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and move into his lap. He smells rich and musky and his masculine body feels too amazing against mine, because of this I settle, wrapping an arm around his neck, my free hand curl in his short hair. It’s soft, almost as soft as Hunter’s.
He hooks an arm around my back; his other hand draws invisible patterns on the fabric of my jeans at my knees. “She was my life. We were together my senior year of high school throughout college, but the last three years of our relationship was bitter.” He drops his head, shutting his eyes. My fingers massage his scalp. “Before I lay all this shit on you, you have to know and understand that I love her, Isabel.” His head lifts and he holds my eyes steadily in such an intense way that all I can do is nod, barely breathing. “My freshman year of college I joined a frat. Most of the things they made us do in the beginning were harmless, stupid hazing shit, harmless. But the last thing we had to do before we were fully accepted was to have sex with a intoxicated girl while another member watched or listened to prove you did indeed do the deed. This wasn’t a problem for most guys. Drunken girls were easy lays, sloppy but easy. Lily and I were together back then. She was a senior at Cherry High, and Cherry High is a long way from UND. But I knew when I called her and told her I needed her here that she’d make the trip to me. Lily loved me with everything she had. It was pure, unconditional love, a love I’ve never known before. So it was effortless for me to scheme and get her up to me in no time.”
He hauls me closer, nestling his face in the side of my neck. His lips begin to move against the sensitive skin there as he finishes, causing me to shiver.
“I got her trashed, so many shots on top of drinks. She could get drunk after a single shot, one shot and she was stumbling. Took her back to my apartment, got her in my room while a member stood against the wall and openly watched. I should have used my fucking brain, but I was sort of out of it myself, high off my own reflection. I was the new champion of the team; the state’s fucking hero and made sure everyone knew it. I thought they were lucky to have me. Can you believe that shit? I thought an entire university was lucky to have me. Selfishness. I was blinded by the game. Being in the public like that is a different world; people gladly and willingly throw themselves at you. Anything I wanted, anything I craved was thrown right at my feet without so much of a second thought. But I’ve had a taste of that here, in Cherry Creek and it only fed the monster and made me more conceited, more arrogant, vainer. Honestly, I didn’t think much of someone else watching us, if anything I could teach him something. Lily was on the bed…” he trails off, hesitating.
My fingers thread through his hair.
“She was on the bed,” his voice drops a notch lower, “giggling and being the happy drunk she is. I was on top of her, feeling her up. She cupped my face and looked me straight in the eyes and told me she loved me. I told her to show me how much she loved me. I never said that to her before because she always showed me. But when I said that, something changed in her eyes. Pure terror. She was frightened of me. Lily told me she wasn’t in the mood anymore. She told me to stop. Her body was shaking. She was so scared. I never saw her like that before. It pissed me off.” He pauses, squeezing my knee.
My heart beats erratically in my throat and I feel a little faint.
“I didn’t get off her. My anger, it took over me. She was thrashing around and I used my hands, the same hands I use to wipe her tears away, to hold her down. Lily was frantic, pushing grunting and whispering, ‘Please no. please, please, please not again.’” He inhales deeply, releasing it in a shuddered whisper against my neck.
“Petrified, I let her go as if her skin was hot iron,” Max mumbles. “By that time the member was already gone. Self-preservation, I guess. She cried for hours. I sat on the edge of the bed, my mind blank. I was empty. Lily moved close and hugged my back. She told me what happened to her. She told me everything. Do you remember Earl?”
“Lily’s oldest brother?” I whisper, confused.
He nods numbly.
“The one who jumped off The Suicide Bridge?”
Max nods again. “He molested her throughout her childhood.” His voice is dead and flat.
My heart plummets to my stomach. I knew Earl, never hung around him. But still. Everyone couldn’t help but know Earl. He was very kind. But I guess the ugliest of monsters smile too. “It started when she was ten and ended when she turned sixteen, the night he took his life. I had no idea. None. Do you know how many times me and Earl were around each other? Lily was suffering and I didn’t have a clue.”
My hand runs the length of his spine, attempting to comfort him. “It isn’t your fault.”
Wetness touches the inside of my neck from his thick lashes. “It is. I could have stopped him.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“He hurt Lily.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I was about to hurt her.”
“You didn’t. It’s not your fault,” I repeat, my throat burning from unshed tears.
“She loved me. She trusted me. I was going to hurt her,” he whispers emotionless.
I grab his face with both hands and stare into his eyes. “It’s not your fault.” His face becomes blurry from my tears.
We hold each other as we cry.
This lasts a while.
“I think I want to get drunk now,” he whispers into my hair.