Cecil, the tall skinny, gentle and kind soul that he was became a pillar of strength for Peggy’s rattled faith. He counseled with her every evening, privately encouraging her to accept God’s greater plan. He challenged Peggy’s desire to run from everyone that knew her; her desire to give up on God and her faith. Slowly her questions lessened, and slowly she placed pieces of her shattered heart back together, not with glue but with fragile tape. The tape often broke, but there were always her trusted friends to replace the tape and each time the tape got a little stronger.
No one minded when Peggy excused herself from their company and sat in Harvey’s favorite chair at the fireplace in the Rec. room. No one minded if Peggy slumped into a daze of inner reflections or shut out her surroundings and the people in it. No one minded her momentary lapses of reason. Everyone minded the one goal, to help her recover.
Two weeks after Harvey’s death the personnel of Silversands and Hangklip Barracks held a memorial service on the small intimate parade ground of the Silversands Barracks. The parade ground stood against a backdrop of the ocean; the waves crashed in stern objection against the rocks. The waves bellowed their anger at the injustice of the war and washed back the pain of Peggy’s heart. Harvey’s parents and sister, Agnes attended the service, meeting Peggy for the first time. Meeting under such circumstances was almost too much for Peggy, but she pulled up strong to say goodbye to her beloved.
In the front row of chairs facing the flag sat Harvey’s family, Peggy, and Lt. Mrs. Simpson. Every officer, including Peggy, wore their full dress uniforms. Their uniforms, not worn for some time, were polished and ironed until they were deserved of respect to honor Harvey. Audrey, Dorothy, and Maisy the good friends that they were ensured that Peggy did not have to worry about these matters. Desmond was given permission to attend even though he was not supposed to be on the premises, but it was Desmond, he was part of the SSS family, and Peggy was very appreciative of his presence.
Cpt. Vogel, Cecil, Frank and several of the men gave eulogies praising the man that Harvey was; kind, generous, honest and very much loved seemed to be the consensus of them all. What they emphatically emphasized was Harvey’s love for Peggy. “Peggy, he loved you like a flower loves the dew drops.” Frank had said. “I have never seen a man love a woman as deeply and purely as Harvey loved you, Peggy. Gosh, he loved you so much.” Walter admitted, and Peggy gave up fighting her collision of tears. Her shoulders shook as the painful sorrow came flooding out from the pit of her heart. Lt. Mrs. Simpson wrapped her arm around Peggy’s shoulders knowing it would not stop Peggy’s overflow of emotions, but it was all she could do to show Peggy that they were there for her to lean on.
The flag, flying at half mast was lowered and removed with fine and precise military procedure by Cecil and Walter as Claude blew out the tune of “The Last Post” from his bugle. The wailing sound of the bugle clutched the cords of everyone’s hearts it was so sad and made them ache for their friend. No one felt any shame to shed their tears, to express their grief at the loss of a great man. The bugle cried out to close the day, to close the last chapter of the life of Lt. Harvey Newsome. The bugle sang out the last note of the saddest song it knew to an audience that left not a dry eye in its wake. Claude placed the bugle at his side; his eyes too were damp with tears. Cecil and Walter both drenched in sad wet eyes handed the correctly and neatly folded flag to Cpt. Vogel who stood at attention in front of the flag pole. They saluted the flag and Cpt. Vogel marched to Peggy. He stood before her; he knew he had to give the military spiel that on behalf of the South African Defense Force and South Africa they present her with the flag, etc., but he remained rigidly silent. He knew uttering those words would mean absolutely nothing to Peggy except to indicate a finality she did not readily accept. Those meaningless words would probably only anger Peggy rather than appease her and besides Cpt. Vogel was unable to speak. His heart was clogged in his throat. He looked at Peggy’s face of despair. Peggy looked at his face, so contrite and anguished she knew he was suffering in his duty as Captain. She nodded to Cpt. Vogel acknowledging the offering and what it represented. Cpt. Vogel leaned forward and held out the folded flag to Peggy. Her arms reached out slowly vividly shaking. Cpt. Vogel placed the flag on her arms, and she dropped them to her lap. The flag lay on her lap; the emblem faced Peggy, and amongst her shattered thoughts she wondered what she was meant to do with the flag. It was never going to bring her Harvey back. It was never going to remove her pain. She lifted her arms up with the flag still balancing on them and gestured to Cpt. Vogel to take it back. He looked at her astonished not knowing what to do or what Peggy was going to do. He took the flag after Peggy repeatedly gestured for him to do so. “Pl .. Please give the flag to Harvey’s father.” Peggy whispered in a stutter.
Cpt. Vogel straightened up and took two steps to the side and faced Mr. Newsome. This time, he uttered the military words of God and country, presented the flag to Mr. Newsome and saluted. Mr. and Mrs. Newsome were overwrought with a sense of pride and loss for their son. They had never dreamed that their son was so well respected and loved. The South African flag meant more to Mr. Newsome than Peggy would know or have imagined.
Chef and her staff prepared a reception lunch in the function room. After the service everyone, gathered and reminisced on Harvey’s life and what he meant to them; everyone except Peggy. Harvey’s parents and his sister Agnes after accepting numerous sincere, warm condolences took a walk to the beach. They found Peggy on her favorite rock watching the infuriated waves peacefully calming her. Soundlessly they sat beside her, and they too were mesmerized into a calm drug by the waves. Mr. Newsome broke the silence, “Peggy, thank you for the flag dear.” He wanted to say more, however, chose to leave the conversation there. Peggy nodded. After a while, the waves coaxed them into sharing their hearts and opinions on Harvey. The waves bonded a union between them in the absence of their cherished Harvey.
Peggy walked with Harvey’s parents and Agnes to their car when it was time for them to leave. They stood by the car doors hesitating to open them and separate their lives forever. Agnes took Peggy in an armful hug and promising to remain in touch even if it seemed futile to do so. Peggy promised her the same in return. Mrs. Newsome said nothing, hugged Peggy, wept without ceasing, kissed Peggy on the cheek and got into the car. Mr. Newsome looked at the magnificence of the mountains, then at the floor and then un-wantonly at Peggy. “Thank you, Peggy dear for making my son so happy. You were all he ever spoke about since the day he met you. He truly loved you.” Mr. Newsome took a staggered breath of air to encourage his voice to continue. “I hope you will not lose your faith and trust God to reveal His plan out of this tragedy for you. Please stay in touch with us.” Mr. Newsome wiped his eyes, he leaned forward and kissed Peggy on her cheek and got into the car. Peggy stood motionlessly nodding throughout the greetings wanting so badly to scream at the world and to beg Harvey’s family to remain. At least with them around her, a little part of Harvey remained too.
When the Newsome’s car was out of sight, Peggy turned around, hugged her waist with both arms and went to her room. She threw herself on her bed and convulsed into a tidal wave of despair, begging God to help her understand and to accept her life without Harvey. Her mouth hung open as she gasped for air through her choked up throat and lungs. Her spit that ran out from her mouth mingled with her cloud burst of tears; the combination soaked her sheets. “Harvey, Harvey, Harvey.” Peggy cried and called out over and over. “Come back.” “Why? Why? Why?” She asked and begged endlessly until her stomach hurt so incessantly from the guttural motions of sobbing she was forced to say no more. She lay on her bed tearfully, emotionally and beseechingly until she gave into exhaustion and fell asleep still in her Military dress uniform.