A few more weeks flew by and with that the April Autumn sneaked in. The air got decidedly colder that it was time for the big greatcoats, scarves, and gloves to get out of the closets. It was feared by most that the war was never going to end. There was no easing to the sea activity and every few days reports would come to the Radar Stations via Freddie that an Allie ship or a fishing vessel was sunk. With each incident, it was received by all with great sadness, the reality of the casualties of war penetrated very deeply. Prayers were constantly said for peace to reign, but Peggy’s broken heart was a stagnant puddle.
There were a few occasions or incidences that brought raucous laughter to the barracks, and these were thanks to the baboon raids for food. All would be peaceful and quiet; some people were sleeping, others reading, knitting or playing board games when in an instant it got rudely disrupted by the baboons flying through the windows of the ladies quarters and the kitchen. Chef threw pots, pans and anything else that was nearby at the perpetrators, who simply exposed their long sharp fangs, screeched back at Chef and continued to steal food. Whenever this happened, Chefs assistants or the officers ran to the pig pen to make sure Ham and Bacon were locked up in their pig pen and safely out of danger. The ladies usually were sent screaming from their quarters, in undesirable attire while the baboons ransacked their rooms. It was soon realized that if a portion of leftover or over-ripe food was left on the outskirts of the camp, the baboons left the barracks alone. Ham and Bacon, unfortunately, had to suffer the most as this was their food that was rationed but it was wartime, and everyone suffered; even pigs.
Lt. Mrs. Simpson called Peggy into her office one morning, and when Peggy entered immediately, she knew something was amiss. “Please sit Peggy.”
Peggy sat slowly hesitating at first. “What is wrong Vivien?”
Vivien waited a few seconds formulating her words she did not want to utter. “Peggy, um, as you know the Australian forces found Lt. Newsome’s body shortly after the crash.” She waited to see Peggy’s reaction before she proceeded with her information. Peggy sat solidly glued to her chair and merely nodded once. “Uhm, they, his ..” Vivien coughed her stutters away and bent under her desk coming back up with a box in her hands. “They returned this.” She handed the box to Peggy.
Peggy was as pale as a pillar. “What, what is it?”
“It was opened following military protocol, but I believe all the contents are intact.”
“Intact?” Peggy questioned as her eyes grew large looking at the broken seal of the box.
“You needn’t open it here, though, if you want to you may.” Lt. Mrs. Simpson’s concern for Peggy’s reaction was very obvious.
Peggy sat dead still, the box on the desk in front of her bore into her; she fiddled with the lid unsure as to whether she ought to open it with Lt. Mrs. Simpson for support or whether she’d prefer the privacy of the moment. “It’s a little heavy,” Peggy stated lifting the box and putting it on her lap holding the lids closed with her hands.
Peggy stood up. “Thank you, Vivien you are so generous and thoughtful.” Peggy held the box on her hip as if it were a baby, her free hand resting on the lids. “I think I shall open it in my quarters.”
“If you need me..” Lt. Mrs. Simpson knew she needn’t say any more, Peggy understood her meaning.
Peggy sat cross-legged on her bed and placed the box in front of her; she had moved back into her room at the women’s single quarters. She wanted so badly to see what the contents were but at the same time, she was sure she did not want to know. Taking a deep breath and cautiously lifting the lid Peggy peered inside the box. She saw the personal belongings of her darling husband and sucked in an attempt to burst out crying. Peggy removed his dog-tags and held them to her chest, clutching them in her fist tightly. She shut her eyes and prayed for strength to look at the rest of his belongings. With apprehension Peggy lifted out Harvey’s watch, his signet ring, and his wedding band; she gripped them in her hands tightly biting back her frustrated sorrow. Instinctively she loosened the chain with her cameo hanging on it from her neck and slipped the dog-tags, the signet ring, and Harvey’s wedding band onto it. She closed the clasped of the chain and let the gathering of her most sentimental belongings hang from her neck. She would eventually get used to the weight.
Peggy stared into the box; at the bottom of the box lay, neatly folded, Harvey’s uniform jacket. As Peggy pulled it out, she feared it would be stained bloody and dirty, but it wasn’t. It was a little dirty but well intact. Peggy lay the jacket out on the bed and rubbed her hands over the material. She could see Harvey standing proud and tall with the buttons and pins brightly shining. She could see his strong hands peeking out from the sleeve ends. Harvey’s smell still lingered on the jacket, and Peggy fell onto it hopelessly crying for what now could never be. All she had left of her husband were these few belongings, and she sobbed. She felt a lump in the jacket when she scrunched it up with her hands; quickly she unbuttoned it and looked at the inside. Her heart broke, and any little piece of it that was taped together now was shredded into a million pieces. She held the bow-style hairclip he had taken from her hair the very last time they were together; their very last goodbye, her very last touch of Harvey, their very last kiss. “Harvey, Harvey, oh my darling why, why? She cried and cried in heart-wrenching despair.
Audrey, Dorothy, and Maisy hurriedly entered Peggy’s room hearing her anguished cries from their rooms. Lt. Mrs. Simpson entered soon after. But what were they to do to ease Peggy’s suffering? Not a thing was to be done. Not a thing could get done, except to comfort and support Peggy’s broken soul but mostly to pray for God to strengthen and ease her pain.
Alone moments got the worst from Peggy. She hated them; she hated being alone; she hated the silence, and she hated the road her thoughts always traveled. Those thoughts were filled with bitterness and a revenge of any kind. Peggy wanted to fill her thoughts with every happy second she spent with Harvey, and yet the heaviness of her heart wrenched her mind into turmoil instead.
In her insensible sleep, Peggy and Harvey walked along in companionable silence; her hand rested lightly on his crooked elbow. Peggy looked at her husband; he stared straight ahead of him deep in thought. “What keeps your thoughts so quiet?” Peggy asked Harvey still gazing upon his strong profile. Harvey shook his head and gave Peggy a harried look. He frowned and returned his attention to the gravity and space in front of him. “Harvey, is something the matter?” Peggy asked insistently. Harvey swung his head around to face Peggy his eyes were cruel, evil and full of Satan’s hatred. “Peggy!” Harvey groaned with lust intent, his downward smile bit into his words and the detestable tone of his voice slithered off his tongue. “Peggy.” He called her once more, and Peggy released her hand from his arm and ran as fast as her legs carried her. Harvey caught her up in seconds grabbing her arm and flinging her to the ground. Harvey ravished her body with his grotesque yellow eyes, and Peggy screamed. She hollowed out for help but the more she screamed, the more he hurt her, and the more he mocked her name.
Peggy shot up like a dart sweating her throat dry and hoarse. “These dreams have to stop. Oh, why can’t I remember my beautiful Harvey as he was, so perfect and handsome; so gentle and kind. He had so much love to give. He loved me so much; he would’ve loved our children so much. Oh Lord, why must I keep having these nightmares, please, please Lord remove them from my heart? Remove them from my mind and let me treasure my Harvey for all my days on this earth with joy and love and happiness. Please, Lord, Help me. Help me.” Peggy prayed on her knees beside her bed still breathing heavily and sweating. When she had finished praying, Peggy remained on her knees slowly bringing her breathing back under control. Not wanting to go back to sleep she very carefully opened the door and tip-toed to the end of the porch and sat on the wooden floor boards. The sun would soon be rising; the early morning air was wrapped up in a blanket of crickets’ song. “Lord, please help me?” Peggy pleaded looking up to the shadows of a new day emerging in the skies.
Since Peggy’s shift only began at 6 pm, she had a whole day to contend with. The beach was always the best place for solitude and reflection, but Peggy sought company for the first time since Harvey’s death. She looked up at the mountains and at the Hangklip Radar station plugged like a little box on the mountain side. “Hmm,” Peggy said to herself and stood up returning to her room. She changed into her hiking clothes, closed the door without a sound, stuck a note on her door informing her friends of her whereabouts and took a slow comfortable hike to the Hangklip Radar Station. Having done the hike several times, Peggy remembered where to walk and what to avoid. By the time she reached the Tech-hut the sun had just sneaked over the tip of the mountains. Jan, Curtis, and Burt nearly died of a heart attack when the door swung open, and Peggy stood at its entrance. “Peggy!” They all exclaimed simultaneously. “What are you doing here? Is something wrong? Are you okay?” Burt questioned in a hurry.
“I’m sorry. I just want some company. Do you mind if I sit here for awhile?” Peggy replied and asked sheepishly.
“We don’t mind, but I dare say Cpt. Vogel will object most strongly.” Curtis replied.
“Why didn’t you visit your Tech-hut? It certainly is a lot closer, and you’re permitted there without any issues.” Jan asked. The men clearly were surprised and confused at Peggy’s presence.
“I’m aware of all of that, but I just needed different scenery, different walls, something anything away from the norm. Do you understand?”
The men nodded, and Curtis offered Peggy a chair by the window with an awesome view of the ocean. He brought her a hot cup of cocoa; Peggy silently prayed that he had cleaned the cup out first before she took a sip. “Did you leave a note or message that you were here. All you need is for Vivien to send out a search party for you.” Curtis asked sitting down at his desk.
“That will be the end of your military days.” Burt offered shaking his head.
“I left a note. I’m sorry perhaps this was not such a good idea. I should go.” Peggy stood, but Burt quickly interrupted her.
“No, stay, if Max and Vivien throw the paperwork at you, well then you know you cannot do it again, but if all you get is a smack on the hand well, the doors are open anytime you feel like a change of scenery.” He smiled at Peggy reassuringly.
“Thank you.” Peggy sat in her chair by the window again and sighed. “It really is a most spectacular view.”
The men went on with their business constantly watching Peggy out of the corner of their eyes; while Peggy sat in the chair and gazed out the window as if she were an apparition. The phone rang and Peggy vaguely heard Curtis answering who she presumed was Cpt. Vogel. “Yes, Captain she is here.” “No she is fine, she just wanted company.” “Yes, we told her that too.” And then he laughed. Peggy felt a sigh relief run through her at the sound of Curtis’s laughter. She felt highly relieved when Curtis put the phone down and informed her, “Vivien wants to see you. They are not upset only concerned, so it looks like you can visit again.” He smiled a mischievous grin. “But next time you make the cocoa.” Peggy gave a small chuckle, thanked them for their hospitality and kindness and shut the door behind her. On her way to Lt. Mrs. Simpson’s office she was happy that when it got tough at Silversands, she had a place of comfort to go to.