Several search results came up for Gary Browne and D’Netics, but only one for Donna Rigden. Sara wasn’t interested in her accomplishments. She was searching for a picture, and boy did she find one. Her mouth gaped; her breath caught. To the side of an article about genetic research and heart disease, was a smiling face that could’ve been her own.
Her eyes lit with green fire. “This isn’t fair! He’s in love with me!” she said to Donna’s image. Jealousy soon changed to guilt, sadness, and then regret. The truth sank in. “Oh, God, that’s why he fell for me. It’s not meant to be me. It’s her! He’s supposed to be with her. But,” she drew out, “what if this is not, the right Donna Rigden? Yeah, right,” she snorted. “How much more black or white could it be, unless the information’s wrong. It could’ve been faked. I found him first! Don’t I deserve happiness?”
Sara had been in love before, or so she’d thought, but this felt different. “How can it feel this good and be wrong?” Her voice broke. “I’m so confused.”
She wanted Jared, but could she be that selfish? Could she live with herself, knowing she took what was truly Donna’s to begin with? Could she be strong and love him enough to let him go, so he could fulfill his destiny?
~ ~ ~
She paced the short distance from her bed to the opposite wall. She shoved a hand through her hair. He would expect some kind of response, when she saw him again. The question remained; when would she see him again? She glanced at the time on her phone. She’d been reading for an hour, and it seemed as if she just opened the diary. “Where did the time go?”
She went outside to get the mail. Steve’s head was under the hood of his Jeep. He was always fiddling with it. He slammed it and picked up a water hose. “Surely, he’s not gonna wash it again! Didn’t he wash it yesterday? He must wash that damn Jeep every day!”
Sara called out; Steve waved. She grabbed the handful of bills and flyers. Lucy was always sending off for free samples, and, of course, when they got her address they sent her junk mail. Sara had tried to warn her, but Lucy wouldn’t listen.
She tucked the stack under her arm and went back into the house. She tossed the mail on the table. An idea struck her. She made some sandwiches and hurried across the street.
------------
Steve aimed the water hose at her. “Unless you want a soggy sandwich - stop!”
He took the paper plate and frowned. “What’s this?”
“A sandwich - aren’t you hungry? I assumed, with all the work you’ve been doing, you’d be starving!”
He wiped his hands on his jeans and sat on the step of the front porch. “I was gonna order a pizza.”
“Where’s Carl?”
He stuffed a quarter of the sandwich in his mouth. “He worked today. I could still order us a pizza if you wanna chill,” he grinned. “I have a hearty appetite.”
“Not unless you want one,” she sighed.
“Depends on how long you’re staying,” he chuckled.
Sara softly smiled. “How long can you put up with me? Until Lucy gets home?”
“I might be able to stand you ’til then,” he laughed. “What’s up?”
“What do you mean?”
Steve arched an eyebrow. “Come on, Sara. You’re like Luce. When something’s bothering her, she always tries to feed me – not that I mind.” Like when Jared gave her the brush-off for his dream girl.
“Great minds think alike,” she softly chuckled. “I need a good listener, but you’ll have to keep it between us. You can’t tell a soul, not even Carl and especially, not Jared.”
He eyed her suspiciously. “Oh, gee! This sounds serious.” He pursed his lips and mulled it over. “Yeah, shoot. I can keep my trap shut. At least as long as you stuff food in it,” he smirked.
Sara punched him. “I’m serious, Steve.”
He grimaced and rubbed his arm. “I was kidding, Sara. I promise. I won’t tell a soul.”
“I feel guilty talking to you about it as it is. Maybe I shouldn’t. I promised I wouldn’t.”
“Come on, Sara. My lips are sealed. Let’s have it. Upon my last drop of blood and my last breath, I won’t tell.”
She studied his eyes. “How long have you and Jared been friends?”
Steve laughed. “Forever, it seems,” Steve laughed and finished his sandwich. “Lemme see, at least six or seven years, why?”
“Did he ever talk about me?”
“Oh, yeah, all the time. I’m so freaking jealous! He gets the looks. He gets the job. He gets the money, and now, he’s got the girl. It can’t be fair for him to have all the luck, especially the part about getting the girl.”
Sara gave him a tight smile, flattered, but she didn’t need flattery, she needed answers. She ignored his failed attempt at flirting with her. “What did he tell you?”
“That’s not a fair question, Sara. What he tells me is private too. You know, it’s the guy thing.”
“OK, let me try again. Did he say anything about me before I moved to Shreveport?”
Steve forced air between his lips. “I don’t know if he was talking about you. He did have this one girl, but even when they were together, he kept talking about a girl he’d seen in his dreams.”
“Did he mention her name?”
“No. She wouldn’t tell him, said she wasn’t supposed to. He was crazy about her though. I thought he was a little fruity, but you know how Indian legends go. Had something to do with finding his perfect match.”
“Has he forgotten her now?”
He looked up at her and laughed again. “With you being around - yes! He’s pretty into you if you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do. I hope I’m not coming between them.”
“Who? Him and his dream girl? Nope! Jared does his own thing. I don’t think he would let a dream determine his future.” He laughed. “Who knows? If there’s anything to his dreams, you might be her. If not, I wouldn’t let it bother me. Since you came along, he doesn’t talk about her anymore.”
Sara knew differently. It was written in his diary, how he’d felt about this mystery girl, and she wasn’t her.
“I’d like to believe I’m the girl from his dreams, but what if I’m not? What if I’m holding him back? All I want is for him to be happy, even if it’s with someone else.”
“Sara, you’re too noble,” he snorted. “If I was Jared, and you looked at me the way you look at him, I wouldn’t waste my time on dreams. I’d hang on to what’s in front of me, something real. I think I know him well enough to say, he feels the same.”
“It doesn’t matter anyway. He probably doesn’t wanna see me again.”
“My, God! What did you do? Try to castrate him?”
“No,” she smiled. “I guess I’m just the wrong girl asking the wrong questions.” She stood.
Steve shot to his feet. “Wait a minute! I thought you were gonna chill with me ’til Luce got home.”
Sara sighed. “No offense Steve, but I wanna be alone. I might go for a drive or something.”
Oh, no! Oh, shit! Think of something fast. Stop her! “Hang on! Did you and Jared have a fight?” That’s good, Steve. Keep her talking. Maybe she’ll change her mind.
“No. I could’ve handled that. Silence is what I can’t stand. I’ll see you later. Do me a favor? Tell Lucy I might not be back, but I’ll call her and let her know I’m alright?”
His eyes widened. Oh, shit! I can’t let her leave like this! “You’re not leaving Shreveport, are you? You just got here! What about Raging Storm? It won’t be the same without you!”
Sara’s eyes glossed. “Yeah, I know, and I honestly liked it here, but I can’t stay, not knowing my being here’s gonna mess things up for Jared. Will you tell Lucy for me?”
Steve exhaled and swallowed hard. “Sure, but what happens if Jared wants to know where you are. What do I tell him?”
“Tell him I finished his book, and he needs to keep looking.”
“Huh?” he frowned again.
“Just tell him,” she snorted. “He’ll understand.”
He watched her leave. “Oh, man! What am I gonna do? If anything happens to her it’s gonna be my fault, and Jared will literally kill me!”
------------
Sara crossed the street and got into her car. She made sure her phone was off. She didn’t want anyone calling her, especially, not Jared. He would try and follow her. She turned her music up loud, to drown out the voice screaming in her head.
This is a mistake, Sara. Your biggest one yet!
She couldn’t afford to listen to her weakened will. Walking away was hard, but it was right. She had to do it. She needed to put some distance between her and Jared. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she refused to stand in his way. “How am I gonna deal with this?”
The voice in her head got louder; she turned her music up louder still and pushed down on the accelerator. Shreveport’s skyline got smaller, in her rearview mirror.
~ ~ ~
For two hours, she’s driven without watching where she’d been going. She should’ve paid more attention; her car was low on gas. That little mistake took care of itself when it cut out near the top of a steep hill. She pumped the accelerator, coached the car up the hill and onto the shoulder.
Sara swallowed hard and glanced at the gas gauge - empty. She hadn’t bought gas since she’d left Crooked Creek, three days ago. When she’d left Shreveport, buying something sensible, like gas or bottled water hadn’t crossed her mind.
She forced her breath out. “Sara, you’re so stupid and irresponsible! Cars won’t go without gas.” She sighed again. “At least I remembered my phone.” She swiped it and waited. “No signal? OK,” she groaned and rested her forehead on the steering wheel, “a bad situation just got worse!”