Myra wanted something to drink before they went back to the hospital, so they stopped by the house. While she made the drinks, Sara went upstairs and put her hundred-dollar book in a safe place; among her personal possessions. A place Jared wouldn’t look. He wouldn’t invade her privacy.
She closed the closet door and stood to leave. Piercing pain shot through her head. Bile rose to the back of her throat; the room blurred. Sara gasped and grabbed the bedpost. She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “Where did that come from?” She stood until the dizziness passed, swallowed a couple of Tylenol and went downstairs.
Myra was waiting for her. “Here’s your Coke. Are you ready? We need to leave.”
“Yeah. Thanks.” She followed Myra to the door. Sara sipped her drink and waited for it to settle her queasy stomach. It didn’t. The more she drank, the worse she felt. Things around her looked different. Colors were brighter and deeper in texture. The smooth leather of the seat felt raised and scaly, like a snake’s skin. She shook her head and took some slow deep breaths, but it didn’t help either.
~ ~ ~
On the drive back to the hospital, Myra wasn’t saying a lot. Her conversation had been brief and hadn’t included anything about her people or her grandfather’s book. The one she didn’t know Sara already had.
Myra’s phone rang. She pulled to the shoulder. “Hello?” She paused. “We’re about five minutes from Wickenburg. We stopped by the house to,” she broke off. “Why?” Her eyes glossed. “I will.” She swallowed hard and passed Sara the phone. “Answer that if it rings.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Make sure your seatbelt is fastened. We’ve gotta hurry!” She waited for a break in traffic and peeled down the highway. “That was Jared. Granddad’s dying.”
~ ~ ~
They ran from the elevator to the hospital room. Sara’s legs tingled with pins and needles. People and things around her looked strange, foreign.
Jared was by the bed, assisting David Whitefeather, but his grandfather was beyond help. Tom was in the corner, holding Nadine. Seconds later, it was over. George Thundercloud didn’t suffer or struggle for breath. His heart stopped and he slipped away. Jared or David couldn’t revive him.
Time of death was called; Jared pulled the sheet over his grandfather’s face. He hugged his parents and approached Sara. He stared into her eyes as if she might disappear. He took her into his arms and held her. Tears pooled in Sara’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, Jared.”
“I love you, Sara. Please don’t leave me,” he whispered.
“I’m not, Jared. I’ll stay as long as you need me.”
“You’d better plan on staying forever, then.”
Her knees gave way; Jared grabbed her. “Angel, you’re pale. Are you OK?”
“I’ve got a sick headache. I think the adrenaline and heat are getting to me. Before we left the house, I took some Tylenol.”
“Do you need something for your stomach?”
She held up a hand. “No. I’m fine. I just need to sit down. I wouldn’t object to a bottle of ginger ale, though. It usually helps to settle my stomach.” She forced a smile.
“Wait here, I’ll get you some.” He kissed her forehead.
Sara watched until he disappeared around the corner. With a sigh of relief, she relaxed. “Oh God! What’s wrong with me? Was it the sandwich at lunch? Surely not, Myra seems fine. It’s the adrenaline. You need to calm down. If you don’t, you won’t be of any use to Jared or his family. Breathe, Sara – just breathe.” She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall.
~ ~ ~
She heard the shuffle of feet and tried to look lively. From Jared’s worried look, she hadn’t been convincing. “Sip on this,” he said and wiped her face with a damp washcloth. She glanced at it and frowned. He softly smiled. “I borrowed it from one of the nurses.”
“That feels nice,” she sighed.
He pressed the back of his hand to her forehead and frowned. “You’re too warm, Sara. Did you drink plenty of water while you were out with Myra?”
“Yes,” she groaned. “Just lemme sit here a while. Go. Be with your family. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m not leaving you like this!”
“Jared, you need to be with your family!”
He sighed. “Alright, but I’m just gonna say goodbye, and then we’re leaving.”
~ ~ ~
Five minutes later, Sara was in agony. Nothing she tried did any good. Jared helped her to her feet. “Come on, let’s get outta here. Dad gave me his keys. He and Mother are riding to the funeral home with Myra.”
“Shouldn’t you go with them?”
“They can make the arrangements without me.” He held up a finger. “Don’t argue with me,” he warned and led her outside.
~ ~ ~
They drove to a nearby lake. He hadn’t said anything since they’d left the hospital. He led Sara down to the edge of the water. Her nausea was gone, but her head still hurt. Everything around her was surrounded by glowing glitter. She watched in amazement as Jared skipped some flattish stones across the surface of the water. To her, they moved in slow motion. She blinked and shook her head.
“How do you make them skip like that?”
He frowned. “Sara, we skipped stones on the river by Lucy’s house.” She watched as he explained. “You put a stone in your hand, pull your arm back, and flick your wrist like a slingshot.” He tossed another stone. “You don’t remember when we went for a walk, the day you moved in with Lucy?”
Sara cocked her head. “Did we?” Her voice trailed off as she watched the stone. It bounced across the water, leaving behind a faint bluish trail. She rubbed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Lemme try.”
Jared passed her a couple of the stones. She watched them bounce across the lake. The more she watched, the more intrigued she became. The trails changed to different colors of the spectrum, some not visible to the naked eye. She threw the ones he’d given her and picked up some more. “That’s so cool!”
He watched her with curious eyes. “What’s so cool?”
She tossed a couple more. Now, the lake was changing colors, as well. Each time the rock hit, the water changed to different shapes and hues, like a kaleidoscope.
Sara tired of watching the stones. The swirling mixture of conflicting colors made her dizzy and nauseated. “Why don’t you want me to know about your people?”
“You don’t need to, yet,” he snorted.
“What do you mean by yet? Do I have to pass some kinda test before you’ll let me in?”
Jared tightened his jaw. “You are in, Sara!”
“No, I’m not! You’re keeping things from me. What dark family secret are you hiding? Are you like the characters in ‘Twilight’? Are you a vampire or are you gonna change into a werewolf, and try and eat me?” Sara was being satirical.
He didn’t respond. He kept his eyes closed. His face tensed. Sara stepped in front of him. “You’re not, are you?”
He took a couple of deep breaths and slowly opened his eyes. “I’m not a vampire, and I’m not a werewolf,” he said, seriously.
She vaguely waved her hands. “Why do I sense there’s a ‘but’ in there somewhere?”
Jared snorted, closed his eyes again and looked away. “Why do you think that?”
“Because of the way you’re acting. Is it because of me? Will being with me gonna get you into trouble? Have I disappointed you in some way? Is that it? You can’t be with me because it goes against tribal law or something, can you?”
“You have not disappointed me,” he pushed through his teeth. “If anything, you’ve surpassed my expectations. Being with you is as natural as breathing. It always has been. It doesn’t go against any of our laws.” He pulled her into his arms. “Do you honestly believe it would matter to me?”
“I don’t know, does it?”
Jared lowered his head and kissed her, soft and long. Sara’s knees buckled. He supported her weight. “No,” he drew out.
“Sara,” he groaned.
“If you won’t tell me, I’ll ask Myra.”
He pushed her back and moved away. He clenched his fists. “Myra will not tell you anything. I have forbidden her!”
She snorted. “And what makes you think she’ll listen to you?”
“She has to!” he said confidently.
“Why?” she scowled.
He glanced at her sidelong and slung a stone so hard it went to the other side of the lake, where it slammed into a pine, with a whack. The eagle resting on top took to the air in alarm. Sara gasped and jumped. Jared took a slow breath and regained his control. “When I was a boy, Granddad used to bring me fishing here,” he said and changed the subject. “He tried to share our stories and legends with me,” he sighed. “I told him he was scaring the fish.”
“You were a child! It wasn’t your fault.”
He glanced at her sidelong again. “When I turned thirteen, he brought me here for one of our little talks. He tried to tell me the things I needed to do to be a good Navajo. How to prepare for the day that I would find you. I called him a stupid old man. Now, when I want to know these things, he’s gone, and I can’t ask him. I was such a stupid fool!” He kicked a loose rock.
Her eyes glossed. What could she say to ease his pain? The only thing that came to mind was something prosaic. She swallowed hard and softly smiled. “At that age, we’re all stubborn, Jared. We don’t want people telling us what to do because we already know it all, or at least we think we do.”
“Yeah, well, I should’ve paid more attention to him. I wanna be what I should be for you, Sara. I don’t know what to do, how to explain things, without chasing you away.”
She frowned again. “What could you possibly say to chase me away?”
Jared shut his eyes again. He angrily brushed his tears away. “I shouldn’t be weak like this!” he snorted. “I’m supposed to be strong, but I’m not. I knew this was coming. I knew he was getting old. I was too busy building a future that I let my past slip right through my fingers. I’m a failure at what I am!”
“You’re not a failure! Look at everything you’ve done, all you’ve accomplished with your life. How can you possibly think of yourself as a failure?”
“Because I run from what scares me or causes me pain. I can’t face my future. I run from it. I’ve been running from it for years now. I even ran from you. One person in my life, I should’ve run to, I ran from. Don’t you see?”
“How can I see anything, Jared? You keep sheltering me from something – something. I don’t know - I guess you think I’m too,” she broke off and shook her head. “Why won’t you tell me what you’re talking about? Stop speaking in riddles! I need truth, Jared! All I want is for you to be honest with me, to trust me!”
He glared at her with contempt. “How can you speak to me about trust and honesty?”
She stared at him. Her lips parted, shocked by the harshness in his voice. His word cut like daggers. She blinked to clear her vision. Why is he mad at me? What did I do? What does it all mean?
Sara wondered what was happening. She wanted to laugh. Everything was so unexpectedly funny. Why? This was no time to laugh. He’d just lost his grandfather, a man he’d apparently been extremely close to. Jared and his family were grieving. She’d lied and betrayed him, but how could she tell him?
Maybe he was right. How could she expect truth or honesty from him after what she’d done? Her throat closed. She couldn’t respond. She didn’t feel worthy to be in his presence. She’d destroyed her one shot at happiness because Jared was happiness. She turned to leave. “I’m sorry.”
He took her hand. “Don’t go,” he whispered in a voice, so small she barely heard it. Jared stared at her, his eyes radiated love so staggering it disarmed her. “I need you. Don’t leave me. Don’t turn away and run from me. I’m sorry.”
Sara touched his face. “So what happens now? Will he have a funeral or is there some kinda special ceremony or rite you have to perform?” She tried to keep the sarcasm from her voice, but she wanted to laugh. She shook her head. This wasn’t right. This was a precious, private moment between them, and she found it funny? What the hell is wrong with me? She turned so he couldn’t see the confusion on her face.
Jared groaned. “He’ll be put in a regular coffin and have a funeral like everyone else.”
She softly laughed. “That’s it? I was expecting something dramatic and old worldly.”
“No!” he growled and glared at her. “His body will be taken to the sacred burial grounds, where it’ll be burned to release his spirit,” he snorted, sensing her unusual mood. “We’re not gonna dress up in warpaint and feathers, and dance around him like you’ve seen in the movies. We won’t grind his bones and make tea with them either!”
Sara rolled her eyes. “I didn’t expect you to. I was curious. You’re so secretive,” she laughed. “I guess if I wanna know, I’ll have to read,” she broke off, remembering what Myra had told her.
Jared turned to her and clenched his teeth. “What book?”
She felt like a trapped animal. Now what? You’ve backed yourself into a corner. Either tell him and deal with his anger or lie to him. “I, um, I bought some books at a Specialties bookstore.” She fished in her back pocket. “Which reminds me – here!” She thrust the credit card at him. “I forgot to give this back,” she simpered.
He snatched the card and shoved it into his back pocket. “Thanks!” he said curtly and stepped closer.
Sara’s eyes widened. Until now, she’d never been afraid of him. He glanced down at her trembling hands and back into her eyes, unmoved, still seething. She’d managed to steer clear of subjects she’d rather not discuss, but he wasn’t letting this pass.
Jared took another step. “Now, what books did you buy?” He enunciated. The muscles in his face all but quivered.
She swallowed hard and stepped back. “Just some books, Jared, nothing special.” She turned away again. She couldn’t look him in the eye. It wasn’t a bold-face lie, but neither was it solely the truth.
He put his hands on her arms and turned her. “Which books? What are they about? Sara?” he asked in a low obstinate voice.
Her breath caught, dumbfounded by his constant badgering. “Books about your people – alright! I wanted to know more about you, so I thought maybe I could find out from some reference books.”
“Reference books?” he sneered.
“I wanted to find out from you, but you won’t let me in!”
“You won’t find the truth you seek in their books. You won’t find any truth about us in books. You could learn more by watching ‘Dances With Wolves’ than in those books, and we’re not even Sioux!”
Sara glared at him. “Would you say the same thing about your grandfather?” She hadn’t intended on saying that out loud, but something had loosened her tongue and given her unfounded courage. She felt different – exhilarated.
“What do you mean, Sara?” he asked, snappishly.
He was angrier than she had ever seen him. He frightened her. She didn’t know what to say. She reasoned it must be what Myra had warned her about. Not getting on his bad side. He had one. His eyes glowed amber, like a traffic light.
Sara gasped and brought her hand to her mouth; her wide eyes filled with tears. “Why are you so upset with me, Jared? You’re scaring me!” She whirled and ran. She was so frightened, she didn’t know where to go, but with him acting as he was, anywhere was better than there.
“Sara, wait!” he called out and ran after. “Angel, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry!”
She saw the world through a fisheye lens. She glanced over her shoulder and screamed. What she saw wasn’t Jared. It wasn’t even human. She panicked and ran faster, but her legs moved in slow motion.
“Sara, please stop!”
She glanced from side to side. “Are you crazy?” She couldn’t decide which way to go. The lead she’d built up disappeared in an instant. One second he was fifty yards behind her, the next she crashed into his arms. His chest was so robust she bounced against him like a rubber ball. Jared closed his arms around her. “Let go of me!”
“No! Not until you listen to me,” he sighed. “Calm down. Save your strength,” he smirked. He knew she couldn’t break his hold. Sara struggled in vain. Finally, she stopped fighting and sighed, impotently. He smiled. He was himself again, at least for the moment. “Are you gonna calm down now?”
She nodded. He loosened his hold on her. It didn’t matter. She couldn’t run anymore. She was out of breath, and the world shimmered. “What happened to your – eyes? And you – you literally growled at me, Jared! You said you weren’t a werewolf!”
He sat on the grass and pulled her with him. “I’m not,” he exhaled.
Sara began to shake again. “Oh, God! You’re a vampire!” She could see it; chalk-white face, glowing crimson eyes, even his skin, cold as stone against hers, glistened like glitter.
Jared cocked his head and regarded her. “I’m not that either.”
“Then what the hell are you?” Sara demanded in a high-pitched voice and moved away from him.