Myra followed Nadine’s instructions to the letter. She hadn’t said half a dozen words to Sara on the short trip. She helped her saddle Jade and got back in the Jeep. “Be careful, Sara and good luck. I hope he listens to you.” She disappeared in a cloud of rusty dust.
Sara mounted Jade. She sat for a while, pondering Nadine and Myra’s conversation.
‘Whatever future they have is based on decisions they make. We can’t steer them in the right direction for our own personal gain, and you know that.’
What did they know about her and Jared’s future? Did they even have one?
‘One wrong word – one wrong move is all it takes.’
Despite what Jared had said and believed, was his future with Eve or someone else? Was this what he was so afraid of that needed to play out? Sara thought about what he’d said to her in their moment of passion, the night she went out to watch the lightning.
‘Sara, we have to stop now! I won’t do this. I won’t risk having a baby with you.’
“That’s it!” she snorted. “Even the book tried to tell me. I’ve been so foolish!”
Regardless of what their future held, starting today, she was determined to get answers. She took out the map and compass and plotted her path into the desert. She wasn’t sure she could do this, but she had to try. Things couldn’t go on like this, and despite what she’d decided, she wasn’t prepared to call it quits. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Jared, that hadn’t changed. It would never change! Book or no book, destiny or chance, Sara would be sure this was what he wanted.
She patted Jade’s neck and gave her a gentle nudge in the flank. She trotted ahead with Angelstar galloping alongside her. Using landmarks as points of reference and checking her position on the map from time to time, Sara headed in the general direction Jared had taken her.
~ ~ ~
After a while, she decided she was hopeless as a tracker. “Who was I kidding, Jade? I’ll never find him. We’ve been going around in circles. Everything looks the same!”
Sara wasn’t lost, but she couldn’t find the damn line of cacti she remembered seeing before they’d reached Mother’s Mountain.
“I’m gonna get lost and dry up, like the ground beneath me. Maybe when I’m gone, Jared can find some peace. Maybe he can find his true dream girl, his perfect match.”
She leaned over Jade’s neck, closed her eyes and silently cried. “I’m so sorry, girl. I should’ve come alone. At least we’ll die together.”
Nadine’s words echoed through her mind.
‘Listen to your heart, and I’ll bet it’ll lead you straight to him.’
“OK, Nada, what’ve I gotta lose?” She dried her eyes, cleared her mind and turned Jade in the direction she felt impelled to go, further into the desert. “That’s it, I’m mad! I’ve lost all reason. The desert sun has baked my brain,” she said nudged Jade west.
~ ~ ~
Half an hour later, Sara was ready to give up. Tears of desperation streamed down her cheeks. She leaned over Jade’s neck again. “You’re wrong about me, Jared. Everyone else might have a Spirit Guide, but I don’t. Even Garfield would be nice now. All that’s gonna be remembered of Sara Foster is that she dried up in the Arizona desert.”
She wasn’t sure she could find her way back. She honestly didn’t care. She was ready to turn around when she spotted them. Straight ahead, standing like green giants. The row of cacti, she’d been looking for. She remembered what Jared had called them. She gave Jade a gentle nudge. Little Angelstar had to stay at full gallop to keep up.
~ ~ ~
Sara found the mountain, and at the foot, tethered to the same bush Jared had used before, was Satan, Myra’s horse. Nadine had been right. Her heart had led her to Jared.
She tied Jade and gave all three horses a drink in her hand from the canteen. She swung the strap over her shoulder, stuffed the map and compass in Jade’s saddlebag and headed up the path. Without Jared there to guide her, she wasn’t as sure of her footing as before. Her progress was much slower. This was the first time she’d braved the heights alone. She felt empty without him. She didn’t like that feeling. It frightened her. She pushed everything else aside and concentrated on the climb. It was hard enough, in itself.
~ ~ ~
Three times she’d rested and drank from her canteen before she reached the familiar ledge. Her Achilles heel, the overhang of stone where she had to jump up. She stretched as far as she could reach. Even on her tiptoes, she could barely feel the top of the overhang with the ends of her fingers. She forced her breath out. “That’s not gonna work. Now, what?”
She jumped again, harder this time. Her foot slipped on some rock fragments, and she nearly slipped off the edge. Her heart jumped to her throat. Out of sheer desperation, she began to cry. She wiped the tears with the back of her hand, which created dirt trails down her cheeks. She slumped to her knees and folded her feet under her. She’d failed. The only thing she could do was to call out and hope Jared heard her – if he were up there. He might’ve gone further up the mountain or followed a different path. If he had, he might’ve missed her. When he got to the bottom, he would see Jade and Angelstar beside Satan, and be infuriated with her for bringing the horses out in the noonday sun, with as little water as she had with her. What difference did it make? He was already furious with her. Maybe he’d show her mercy and toss her off the mountain. It would save them both a lot of trouble.
~ ~ ~
Using the last shred of common sense she had, Sara turned to retrace her steps. In her haste, she hadn’t been paying attention to her surroundings. She wasn’t alone on the ledge. She had company, the worst kind. On the other end, blocking her path was a pissed off rattlesnake. She could just hear fate laughing at her. She couldn’t go up, and now, she couldn’t go back down. Unless the rattlesnake magically appeared out of thin air, he must’ve been asleep when she’d stepped over him. Having been disturbed by a crazy human, it wasn’t at all happy, sharing its personal space with her.
Sara was in a fine fix this time for sure. Keeping an eye on the snake, she carefully took out her phone. No signal. Cautiously, she moved the few paces the scope of the ledge allowed her. No signal. She shoved the phone deep into her pocket so it wouldn’t fall out.
She searched the wall of stone in front of her, looking for a hole or crevice, anything she could use to boost herself up, but there was nothing. Sara sighed deeply. Silent tears rolled down her cheeks. This time, she didn’t bother wiping them off. It didn’t matter anyway.
She listened for a sign that Jared was up there. On the rare occasion, she thought she heard the faint sound of someone chanting. She sighed, relieved, at least someone was up there. Now if she could muster the courage to call for help. It wouldn’t be easy. She was genuinely embarrassed. She should’ve known better than to try something like this on her own. As before, when she’d run away from Jared, she wasn’t thinking straight now. Nadine had been right. Sara had listened to her heart, and it had led her to him, or at least that was what she told herself. The person chanting might be a stranger and might not appreciate her interrupting his personal meditation.
From pure reflex, she started screaming. “Jared! If you’re up there, please, help me!” She’d forgotten all about their fight.
“Sara! What in the name of all that’s good, are you doing up here?” Jared asked in a harsh voice.
She felt like a child, rebuked by its mother. But it wasn’t her mother who was rebuking her. It was the man she loved. “Trying to find you!” She was about to be bitten by a rattlesnake. She probably would die, and Jared was yelling at her. What a fitting end for such a failure.
“I thought you said all you needed to say last night. You said you didn’t love me. You said it was over. You threw me outta my - your bedroom. Sara, why did you follow me out here? Whose idea was this? Myra’s? Who told you where I’d be? Mother?”
“No! She didn’t know where you were. She told me to follow my heart, and it would lead me to you. Now I’m not sure this was a good idea. In fact, if this snake doesn’t kill me first, maybe I should step off. I’m sure that would work,” she said and moved closer to the edge.
“Stop!” he snapped in an infuriated animalistic growl. “Sara, don’t you dare!”
“What difference does it make? I’m not supposed to be in your future anyway, Jared.”
His eyes turned deep glowing crimson. His voice changed from anger to fear. “Don’t move, Sara! Don’t even breathe. I’ll be right back. Don’t move and don’t provoke it.”
“I wouldn’t dream of pissing it off any more than it already is.” She said in an exceptionally soft voice. The vibration in the air set off another volley of rattles from her reptilian roommate. She closed her eyes and held her breath. There was a loud bang. Showers of dust and rock fragments rained down on her. She screamed again. The snake rolled down the mountainside.
When she first looked up, Sara thought she was dreaming. Jared was wearing nothing but a leather loincloth tied around his waist, which didn’t hide a lot. His chest was bare. His face and torso were covered with paint. His long hair stood out in the breeze, making him appear as a brave hero. Her head spun. She closed her eyes and took some slow deep breaths.
“Give me your hands, and I’ll pull you up!” Without hesitation, she reached out. He lifted her so fast her breath caught. The next thing she knew, he was pulling her into his arms. He led her a few paces from the edge of the rock, took her backpack off and flung it towards his camp.
The instant she was out of danger, her adrenaline rush left and her legs folded. Jared lifted her into his arms and laid her on a handwoven blanket, next to the fire, where he’d been sitting. He wet a cloth with water from his canteen, wiped her face and laid it on her forehead. Sara’s head was still spinning when she opened her eyes and sat up. She gasped in fright.
“Easy, it’s me, Sara. Are you OK? It didn’t bite you did it?” He anxiously examined her arms and legs.
“No,” she said in an unsteady voice.
He smiled and let his breath out. “What were you thinking? You could’ve been killed!”
Her eyes glossed. “Maybe I would’ve been better off. Please, don’t stop loving me. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I didn’t mean what I said last night.”
Jared cocked his head. “None of it?”
“No!”
“So why, have you been pulling away from me?”
“I thought it was what you wanted. Please don’t be mad at me. I was drunk last night. It wasn’t me talking.”
He half laughed and held her in his arms. “I’m not mad at you. I’m relieved you’re not hurt. I’m surprised you would think I could ever stop loving you.”
“Well, the way you left my room, I thought….”
“I wasn’t mad at you,” he snorted. “I was mad at myself, and hurt because you didn’t think you were good enough for me. And everything you said, about not wanting to push me, and backing away from me. I needed answers.”
She tucked her face against his chest. “Jared, I’m not good enough for you!”
He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. “Listen you stubborn little idiot!” he smiled. “You are good enough for me!” he enunciated.
She tried to hide her face again. He wouldn’t let her. “No, I’m not.”
“You are! And, I’ll prove it to you.” His kiss practically sucked the breath from her lungs. His hands were all over her, touching her, caressing her. Each kiss was deeper, longer and filled with more passion than the last.
He dropped to his knees and pulled her with him. He held her tightly against him and kissed her again. He undressed her with practiced ease – as if they’d been this far before.
Sara was burning up with desire. It didn’t matter what he did to her now. She was putty in his hands. The world disappeared. She forgot about everything but her and Jared.
He eased her onto the blanket, laid beside her and pulled her against his all but naked body. Sara groaned and moaned for the anticipated release. Jared showered her with kisses and caresses all over her body.
Her heart was pounding so fast, her breath so shallow, she thought she was dying. If this is death, lead the way.
With one firm tug, he tossed his loincloth aside. “Maybe now you’ll believe me when I say you’re good enough.” He kissed her long, hard and deep as he rolled on top of her.
Sara could feel him, hot and throbbing against her entrance. His body ached for hers as badly as hers ached for his. He lowered himself and pushed forward until her moistness closed tightly around him. “Ayóó'ánííníshní, Sara,” he whispered. “Ayóó'ánííníshní.” He eased forward, pressing deeper until he felt resistance, the end of her innocence. He closed his eyes and pushed harder.
Sara felt a sharp, stabbing pain. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes.
He kissed her and whispered words of encouragement as he gradually buried himself deep inside her body. He laid still, kissing her and breathing how much he loved her. He slowly moved. He picked up the pace, thrusting deeper and harder. Sara’s pain turned to pleasure.
An unfamiliar feeling built low in her stomach. “Oh, God, Jared!” she cried and tossed her head from side to side, writhing under him. She fought the spasms in her womb, involuntarily clamping her muscles around him.
Jared’s breath caught; he strained for control. There was confusion in her eyes. “It’s alright, angel. Let go, Sara. Don’t fight it. Let it happen,” he panted in her ear and moved faster, pushing her to the edge of her first orgasm. Excitement and urgency grew between them.
Raw energy surged through every nerve ending in her body. She lifted her hips to meet his, digging her nails into his back and pulling him closer, burying him deeper inside her.
Jared let out a loud groan and lay still, trembling on top of her. Jerking inside her and filling her with his warmth. His heart was pounding as fast and as loud as hers. Riding a wave of lover’s reward, they collapsed in each other’s arms, hot, sweaty, spent and sated.
~ ~ ~
After a while, he rose on an elbow and stared down at her. “Now do you understand,” he whispered and covered her mouth with his again in a slow, deep, lingering kiss. “Now do you believe I love you, and you’re everything, I ever wanted or needed?”
All she could do was nod. She didn’t want to move. She wanted to stay like this forever, lost in the afterglow of their lovemaking. There were no doubts in her mind. He loved her, and she was hopelessly in love with him. This was how it was intended to be; two lovers tangled together like a pair of wisteria vines.
He rolled onto his back; Sara settled next to him and laid her head on his chest. Thank goodness, the sun was behind the mountain or they would’ve had the worst case of sunburn in their lives.
~ ~ ~
She didn’t know what time it was when they woke up, but the sky was turning dark. Jared snickered. “You know, you don’t look half bad, smeared with my warpaint.”
Sara looked down. “Oh, my, God!” she gasped. Her body was covered with streaks of color mingled with mud.
“You look beautiful, Sara,” he laughed.
“Have you looked down?” she giggled.
Jared laughed louder. His body looked like a twisted, smeared rainbow. “Hmm.”
“What are we gonna do? We can’t put our clothes back on like this!”
“We don’t have a choice, I’m afraid.”
“But if we go back, looking like,” she broke off, “and they see us, they’ll.…”
“Not say a word,” he finished. “My people don’t frown upon extramarital sex as you do. Our wedding ceremonies are so brief, you probably wouldn’t think we’d had one.” He pulled her multicolored body next to his and kissed her. “My family won’t say anything.”
“Are you sure?”
“Trust me,” he said and kissed her again. “Besides, if you don’t get your clothes on, I might give you a repeat performance. Then we’d really be getting home late. I didn’t bring a tent. I know this mountain, like the back of my hand, but I still don’t wanna climb down it in the dark.”
Sara’s eyes lit. She smirked. Jared eyed her suspiciously, unable to keep from smiling. “What are you smiling about?”
She tucked her chin. “We don’t have to leave,” her voice trailed off.
“Oh, are you suggesting you wanna brave the desert night, with nothing, but the heat of my body to keep you warm?”
“I’m sure we wouldn’t get cold. But before I left, your mother put two sleeping bags in my backpack. I don’t think your mother was expecting us back until morning.”
He threw his head back and sighed, knowingly. “I should’ve guessed. Not that I’m complaining, but, did she put you up to this?”
“No! I wanted to come. Nada convinced me I’d made the right decision.”
Jared pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. “As appealing as the idea sounds, I’d rather get it right the next time.”
She blinked in disbelief. Get it right? If what he did with her was wrong, if he ever got it right, she would die. She’d never felt such pain and pleasure and ecstasy. “That was wrong?”
“The ground was a little hard,” he smirked. “I didn’t wanna hurt you.” He sat up. “Besides, don’t you wanna wash off?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” she sighed and gathered her clothes.
~ ~ ~
Jared packed everything, and they made their way down the mountain. As they approached, the horses neighed nervously. They were glad to see them. They were thirsty, and the howling coyotes had put them on edge. They drank what was left of Sara’s canteen, and half of Jared’s.
He tied Jade to Satan, mounted him and held out a hand to Sara. She settled in behind him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and rested her multicolored cheek against his shoulder. Jared turned, kissed her and clicked his teeth. In a hurry to get out of the desert before dark, he nudged Satan and took off at full gallop.