They finished at the coliseum and headed back to Wisteria Hall. Sara had never been so glad to be home, in all her life. She hated scratchy clothing. Her evening gowns had made her feel as though she’d fallen into a mound of fire ants. Jared chortled at how quickly she’d changed into her faded jeans and a ragged T-shirt. He’d showered and changed, as well, but his clothes were a little dressier than hers. They always were.
The band sat outside on the patio and drank iced tea while they enjoyed the sun. Steve and Carl stayed a short while and left. Lucy hung around for a couple more hours. She was as surprised as Sara that Kaye had agreed to come to the reunion gig. She’d expected James to come, but never Kaye.
Sara was both pleased and apprehensive; pleased her parents were finally taking an interest in her music, but apprehensive, her mother would corner her when they were alone. Kaye would use blatant logic on her to try and convince her to either leave Jared, and go back to Lucy’s or come home with her after the gig. Sara didn’t want to do either. She wanted to be with Jared for the rest of her life.
~ ~ ~
Jared and Sara walked Lucy to her car. She hugged them. “You better take care of my niece.”
He smiled at Sara. “With my last breath, Luce.”
She kissed Sara’s cheek and got into the car. “I love you, kid,” she said and drove off.
Jared pulled Sara into his arms and kissed her. He smiled wryly. “What do you wanna do now?”
“Promise not to laugh?”
He rolled his eyes. “I’ll try, but you know me. If it’s funny, I’m gonna laugh.”
“I just wanna do nothing.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Nothing? What do you mean by nothing?”
“I wanna take some music outside and dance with you in the gazebo. I wanna sit on the bench and talk about our future. I want us to sit on the grass by the pond and have a picnic while we watch the ducks play.”
Jared grinned. “Doesn’t sound bad so far.”
Sara held up a hand. “I’m not finished.”
He seductively nibbled the side of her neck. “I’m listening.”
“I wanna sit, wrapped in your arms while we watch the sunset. I wanna lie on my back and look up at the stars. I want you to take me upstairs, to our bedroom and make love to me, all night long.”
He pressed his lips to the top of her head and rubbed his palms up and down her arms. “In that order?” he asked in a rich, seductive voice.
“Not necessarily,” she smiled. “But I’d like to do all of them.”
He grinned slightly. “All in one night?”
“Is it a problem?” she countered and pulled him closer.
Jared traced the outline of her chin with his finger. “No, I’m just wondering how much time you’re devoting to the making-love-all-night part.”
“That depends on how long it takes to get through the rest.”
“The gazebo has its own sound system. You might’ve noticed the mesh down the poles.”
“I thought they were air vents.”
“They’re speakers.” He pointed. “See the lights along the edge of the roof, and in the center, above us? The controls are hidden in a cabinet, under the bench.”
Sara’s attention piqued. “Really?” He nodded. “We could be outside without any other lights on?” He nodded again. Sara smiled. “I like it, but Jared?”
“Hmm?”
“You said you tried to keep the house as near to its original state as possible.”
He smirked. “I used some modern technology to make some things a little more convenient, but if you want me to – I’ll put it all back. It would mean getting rid of the Navajo room, and the pool and the.…”
“Don’t you dare!” she broke in.
Jared laughed, put an arm around her waist and led her into the house. “So, do you wanna dance?” He was skeptical. Sara nodded. They crossed the entrance hall, through the living room to the kitchen.
“That is, unless….”
Jared arched an eyebrow and turned to face her. “Unless what?”
“You don’t wanna dance with me.”
He put his arm around her waist again and lifted her feet off the floor. He twirled her so fast her head spun. “I’ll dance with you, anywhere, anytime, to any kinda music you want.” He smiled.
“Really?” Sara arched an eyebrow. “Any kinda music?”
“Well, maybe not the rain dance and maybe not the sun dance,” he chuckled.
Sara laughed. “Why not?”
“I don’t particularly like dancing during a thunderstorm, and I’m not masochistic.”
Sara cocked her head. “Can you honestly make it rain by doing a dance?”
Jared laughed, set her on top of the counter and kissed her. “Silly, Sara.” He smiled and rubbed his hands together. “Now, what do you want for our picnic?”
------------
Steve helped Lucy into his Jeep. He switched on the radio and found a suitable country station. Lucy sniffed and frowned. “Steve,” she drew out, “are you wearing… cologne?”
His eyes widened. “Um, yeah, why?”
“You usually don’t wear it.”
He sighed and pulled onto the main road. “Yes, I do. You just never noticed.” You’re too busy chasing a Navajo brave. What is it about Louisiana women and Navajos? Are they programmed to be attracted to them? “Do you like it?”
“It’s not bad,” she said noncommittally. “So where are we going?”
“I thought we’d grab some hot dogs at Sonic and go for a boat ride out on Flag Lake. Is that alright with you?”
Lucy glanced at him sidelong. What’s going on here? He’s dressed in jeans and a real shirt, and for once, he doesn’t smell like grease or motor oil.
“Luce,” he said slowly, “is that OK with you? We could go to a movie instead.”
“What? Oh, no. Hot dogs, and um – it sounds great.”
------------
Jared stopped in front of the gazebo. “Can I amend the order of your list slightly?”
“Sure, I’m flexible,” Sara said.
He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. “I have a feeling tonight’s gonna be special. Since you expect me to make love to you all night, which I have no problem with, I wanna use mood and atmosphere to my advantage.” He kissed her again.
Sara’s knees weakened. “I put myself in your capable hands.” She sensed if they didn’t slow down, they would be skipping to the last part of her requests without further motivation, not that she needed any. By the way, he was kissing her, neither did he.
~ ~ ~
They had their meal and spent about an hour or so at the pond. Sara doubted they would make it any further; she didn’t care. From the things Jared was doing to her body, she would’ve let him make love to her by the pond. As usual, determined, Jared pulled away at the right moment. He enjoyed leaving her breathless. He liked teasing her and building her anticipation.
He led her back to the gazebo, and they danced. As he pulled her into his arms and pressed the full length of his body against hers, Sara knew they wouldn’t make it to the part about watching the stars. She was so dazed with desire, she was already seeing stars. If they held out until sunset, they would be pushing their luck.
------------
Steve rowed the boat under one of the towering cypress trees near the edge of the bank and tied it to one of the lower limbs. He turned to Lucy. “Is this spot good enough for you?”
“It’s fine, Steve. So what did you wanna talk about?”
“I don’t think, I’m the one who needs to talk. Luce, how are you gonna deal with this thing with Jared?”
“There’s nothing to deal with. I throw myself at the man’s feet, and he cleans his boots on me. He’d rather have my teenage niece.”
“Luce, are you ever gonna get over him?”
She turned away; her eyes glossed. “I told you. I am over him,” she choked and began to cry. “I let him go.”
Steve cautiously made his way to her and held her. She buried her face in his neck. He stroked her long blonde hair. “You mean Jared let you go, baby.”
“I’m sorry, Steve. Sometimes I wanna scream at him, and other times,” she broke off. “What am I gonna do?”
He sighed and rested his head on hers. “I could help you forget about him if you’d only give me a chance.”
Lucy studied his eyes and frowned. “What are you saying, Steve?”
He rolled his eyes. “Ah, come on, honey. Do I have to spell it out for you? After all these years, haven’t you guessed?”
Lucy tucked her chin. “Steve.”
“Look, Luce. I know you still love him, and I know it’s gonna take time for you to get over that. I mean, you honestly don’t have a choice now.”
“Steve – don’t!”
“Please, Lucy, hear me out.” She lifted her head and studied his eyes again. “All I’m asking is for a chance. Just spend some time with me. Get to know me.”
“I’ve been riding in your Jeep for ten years,” she chuckled. “I think I know you.”
“You know what I mean,” he exhaled and leaned closer. “Get to know me.”
------------
To Sara’s surprise, when she thought she would burst into flames, Jared picked her up and carried her back by the pond. He laid her on her back on the blanket. His lips came down on hers, hard and demanding; a kiss which said he wanted everything she had to offer and more. As into the moment, as she was, she actually wanted to discuss their future.
“Jared,” she said, when he allowed her to breathe.
“Mmm?” was the only response she got from him.
“Where do you see our relationship going?”
He stared down at her. “What do you mean?”
“Will we always be like this?”
“What do you think?” he smirked.
“I’d like to think we will, but we never talk about, you know, our future. Do we have a future… together?”
Jared’s eyes dimmed from their natural golden glow. “I’m marrying you, Sara. Do you doubt my feelings for you?”
“I’m a little mystified by what happened in Arizona. How you changed and ran from me.”
“You ran from me!” he groaned.
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I know, but I was scared. I thought I was coming between you and your destiny. I don’t believe in that kind of thing, but you obviously do. I’d just like to know if there’s a possibility you’ll run again or will things stay the way they are now.”
Jared sighed, rolled onto his back and draped an arm over his eyes. Sara suspected it was because they were crimson again. It happened when he got upset or agitated with her. It wasn’t clear, whether Jared was angry yet, but he was getting agitated. She waited.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I thought we were past all this.”
“Well, we are. It’s just that, we’ve not been very careful, and I’d like to know, where I stand as far as, you know, that’s concerned.”
He moved his arm and stared up at the stars. His eyes were glowing. In the dark, they looked like two hot embers. “Are you frightened of the possibilities?”
“A little, I guess, but I’m ready for it, the whole family thing.”
Jared balled his hand into a tight fist and exhaled. “I think we should do something about that.”
Sara’s eyes revealed more than she’d intended them to. “Really?”
He forced his breath out again. “We need to get you some protection, so we don’t have any accidents.”
“I see,” she said, dejectedly. That had cut to the core.
“Well, what did you think, Sara? You’re too young!”
She frowned. “I am?” She hadn’t expected a response, and it was a worthwhile thing too. He wasn’t prepared to give her one; his mood darkened. She wasn’t prepared to let it go either. She cautiously pressed the issue. “When do you think I won’t be, as you put it, too young?”
He walked to the edge of the water and stared into the night. “I don’t know – someday – maybe.”
Sara stared up at his back for a long while. The evening was taking a turn, and she didn’t like its direction. If she didn’t do something fast, the mood would be ruined. This kind of conversation could drive another wedge between them.
------------
“Steve… what are you?” Before she could say anything, his lips were on hers. His kiss was warm and soft. Not rushed or demanding, but clearly not meant to be a friendly kiss. Lucy kissed him back.
Steve kissed the side of her neck and worked his way back to her lips. This time he deepened the kiss and pulled her closer. She was lost in the moment. Her heart pounded, her head spun. She jerked away, moved to the other end of the boat and turned her back to him. “This was a mistake, Steve. Why did you have to do that?” Silent tears slipped down her cheeks.
His eyes clouded with rejection. A lump rose in his throat. He reached out to her. “Luce, I,” his voice trailed off.
She didn’t know how to respond. What’s happening? What am I feeling? Why did it seem right? It shouldn’t feel this way. What am I doing? “I think we should go back now. I’m not looking for charity, Steve. Just because I can’t be with Jared.”
“Lucy, I’m sorry,” he frowned. “It’s not like that. I shouldn’t have moved so fast. It’s just that, well, I’ve been,” he hesitated. “You were in my arms, and I.” He groaned, exasperated with himself. “I didn’t wanna hurt you. I wanted to help you, and I’m botching this up!”
“Who do you think you are? The love doctor? Do you think I’m a love sick puppy that needs your special therapy? That I’m some kinda broken china doll, and you’re the glue to put me together again? Did you honestly think you could compare to…?”
Steve’s eyes turned to ice. Is that what she thinks this is? That I don’t compare to her brave Navajo warrior? The mighty Jared! God, I’ve been such a fool. “You know what, Lucy? You’re right. This was a mistake. I should’ve known my love wouldn’t be good enough for you. Forgive me. I’ve wasted my heart, for the last ten years, on the wrong woman! Now that you’ve set me straight, maybe I can move on!”
------------
Sara approached Jared from behind and put her arms around his waist. She pressed her cheek against his back. “It doesn’t matter, not right now, anyway. We can talk about our future another time. You’ve given me everything on my list but that. I suppose I can let you by this time.” She turned him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “That is – if you don’t deny me anything else.”
He caressed the back of her head. “Sara, I don’t think we should be quite so, zealous until I can get you on some contraceptives.” His tone was final. He wasn’t giving her a choice. He’d already decided not to take the risk. That hurt her. There was logic behind it, but there were other ways.
“I hope you’re not suggesting I take the pill!” Her voice was a little harsher than she’d intended. She’d read horror stories about women developing cancer, and not being able to conceive, after taking it for an extended period. True, she didn’t want children now, but she wanted to leave her options open for the future.
“I don’t want you to use an IUD. There are too many risks involved with that, and diaphragms are about as reliable as condoms. All in all, the pill is safest unless we consider a more permanent solution. I could get a vasectomy, and we’d never have to worry.”
“What!” Sara growled. “Are you saying you never wanna have a baby with me? What if something happened to me and you remarried? Would that be fair to you? To her?”
Jared looked away and back at her. His eyes were cold and set, glowing crimson with rage. “I never said I didn’t want to have children with you. You’re twisting my words, and making it harder on both of us. Besides, when something happens,” he paused and closed his eyes before finishing his statement. “If anything happened to you,” he continued and softened his voice. “I wouldn’t even try. You’re my perfect match, Sara. There will never be another, after you.”
“What do you mean?” she frowned, trying to keep her anger in check. “Jared, it’s fantasy to think we can live our lives on the assumption that nothing will ever happen to either of us. It’s a fact! We live with it, and move on. If I died, trust me, you would find someone else. In fact, you could have your pick.” One person immediately comes to mind.
“No, I wouldn’t! I don’t want anyone else. I don’t wanna risk losing you, that’s all. Too many women die in childbirth, even today. I want you, Sara, not a part of you, and not a memory that’ll fade over time.”
He pulled her close and held her as if she would disappear. “I’m not stupid. If there’s anyone who knows we can’t steer or control our destiny, it’s me. And that’s the reason I’m gonna do everything in my power to keep you as long as I can - even if it means never having children with you. We could always adopt.”
“I don’t wanna adopt. I want your baby, something that’s part of both of us. I don’t want it right now, but someday. Don’t you want that?”
“Yes, more than anything, but not enough to risk losing you! Don’t you understand what you mean to me? Do you have any idea how many long, lonely nights I’ve spent, wishing you were with me? Sara, I used to go to sleep early and get up late, for the chance that you might visit me in my dreams. And when you did, I didn’t want to wake up. I had decided if it were the only way I could have you, I would’ve happily chosen to die in my sleep. Now you’re here, in my arms. I’d walk through the fires of hell before I gave you up – even for a baby.”
“Jared, how many times have we made love without any protection?”
“I never should’ve done that,” he groaned. “I should’ve waited until we had protection, but you’re so irresistible, dangerously irresistible,” he said and kissed her. “You’re dangerous to me and to yourself. Still, I’m a doctor. I knew the odds, I should’ve taken precautions. I’m sorry for putting your life at risk, Sara.”
“You’re making it sound like I didn’t have a part in this,” she laughed. “I love you, Jared. I wanted you, all of you. I didn’t want an imitation barrier between us. I still don’t. I don’t want you to do something stupid, and make it so we’re never able to have children or so you can’t ever have them with someone else if I died.”
He stepped away from her again and stared into space. She stood in front of him, determined to get to the bottom of this. “You’re not gonna die,” he said through clenched teeth, his eyes as burning crimson orbs.
“Lemme ask you something else. Suppose I’m pregnant already. You feel so strongly against our having a baby, what do we do if we find out I’m pregnant?”
“Stop it before it’s too late,” he said.
------------
Carl heard Steve’s Jeep when it pulled into the drive and came to a screeching halt.
Lucy couldn’t get the door open fast enough. She was almost to the end of his driveway. Steve groaned, slammed his arms against the steering wheel and ran after her. He grabbed her arm. “Lucy, stop! Please.”
“Let go of me!” she warned with wide eyes and swallowed bitter tears.
“No! I’m not gonna let go until you listen to me.”
“Steve - I said - let go of me!”
“On one condition, let me apologize.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for. Just let go of me, and let me go home.”
“Lucy, do you feel anything for me?”
“I did! We were good friends. I depended on you. I could talk to you when I couldn’t talk to anyone else. Now you’ve ruined that. And why now, Steve? Just when Raging Storm was about to go somewhere. Why did you choose now to reveal this pining love you’ve had for me? How did you expect me to react?”
He sighed and rolled his eyes. Ah, screw this! He crushed his lips to hers, kissing her, holding her until she stopped fighting and kissed him back. It wasn’t as before. This kiss was demanding and full of passion. Lucy was losing it again. She shoved him away.
Steve narrowed his eyes and smirked. “Now, go home! And when you think Jared’s the only man good enough for you, remember that kiss!”
Lucy stared at him, tightened her jaw and slapped his cheek, hard. “Bastard!” she spat and stormed across the street.
“No, Lucy. I’m not a bastard. I’m a crazy bastard!” he yelled back and stormed into the house.
Carl was on the sofa, watching a late movie. “How did it go? Did you tell her?”
He marched into the kitchen. Took out a bottle of Jack Daniels, from a cabinet and filled a tumbler. Carl stood at the door. Steve gulped down a third of his drink and refilled it. “Yeah, I fuckin’ told her.” He took another giant gulp and kicked the snack bar. “Shit! Damn! Fuck!”
Carl grimaced. “I guess it didn’t turn out the way you’d planned.”
Steve glared at him and nursed his throbbing foot. “Don’t fuckin’ ask!”
------------
Sara stared at Jared in disbelief. Her eyes glossed. He simply would stop it; make it go away as though it had never happened! “Did you say you would ask me to…?” Her voice was a whisper; she couldn’t say the words. She was so hurt and angry, she didn’t know what to think. “I won’t do it, Jared! I’ll run away. I’ll leave! I won’t let you do it!”
“Angel, we’ll do a test to make sure, and we’ll get you started on the pill. Despite what some people believe it’s not easy for a woman to conceive.”
“No, but it is possible!”
“Yes!” he sighed, sounding exasperated. “Yes, Sara - it is possible, but not probable.” He pulled her into his arms and held her close again.
When he’d said he would take precautions, Sara wasn’t sure what he’d meant until he made love to her that night. It was different. He pleasured her but kept his passion at bay. Instead of taking the risk, at the right moment, Jared withdrew from her body. She felt cheated that he hadn’t got as much satisfaction out of it.
He lay on his back and positioned her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her. Despite how frustrated he might’ve been, he was determined they were going to sleep now. Why? Why was he holding back? Sara had drifted off to sleep with the question floating around in her head.