Next morning, while Lucy and Sara were sitting at the table having breakfast, Sara’s phone rang. She glanced at Lucy and blushed.
Lucy took a slow breath. “Is it him?” Of course, it’s him. Who else would call her this early in the morning? Unless it’s….
Sara nodded. “Hello, again.”
“I hardly got any sleep last night!”
“Oh, why’s that?” She fought to keep the smile from her voice.
“I couldn’t get you off my mind.”
“Sorry, if I disrupted your sleep.”
“Hey, I don’t mind. I’m headed to work, but I needed to hear your voice again. Think I’m obsessed?”
I know I am! “Probably. It’s nice to hear your voice again too. I had a really good time last night.”
Jared chuckled. “Listen, if the weather keeps, would you like to go for a bike ride with me? I have this secret place, I wanna show you.”
Sara glanced up and frowned. “Hang on. Lemme see what Lucy’s plans are.”
She stood to put her bowl in the dishwasher and sighed. I might as well look for a Chihuahua.
“Luce, did you have anything special planned? Jared wants to take me for a bike ride this evening after he gets off work.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Have a good time but be careful. If anything happened to you I’d never forgive myself, and your mother would murder me.” She slung her purse strap on her shoulder.
“I could tell him no and stay with you.”
She kissed the top of her head. “And I’d have to watch you mope around the house all evening? Not a chance. I gotta run. I’ll see you tonight, sometime.”
“Are you still there?”
He laughed. Like I’m gonna leave her! “Of course, I’m still here. I love the sound of your voice, even when you’re not talking to me. It reminds me of a sunny day. Go ahead and smile. I know you’re blushing.”
Sara could hear the smile in his voice. “OK, well, anyway, Lucy doesn’t have anything planned. Are you sure you wanna see me again this soon?”
“I’ll pick you up around four. Wear something old. It might be muddy, where we’re going.” His conversation became rushed. “Oh, and bring your digital camera or phone if you wanna take pictures. Listen, luv, I need to run. Got angry patients waiting for me. See you later.”
“Bye,” she said, but like last night, he was gone. She sat for a while and pondered on his last words. “Did he call me luv? Wow!”
~ ~ ~
For the rest of the day, Sara was so anxious she couldn’t sit still. Since Lucy wasn’t the best housekeeper in the world, after rearranging the furniture in her room, Sara did the rest. She wanted to listen to some music while she worked, but the CDs were so mixed up, it took forever to find something. Classical was mixed in with hip-hop. She reorganized them.
Later on in the day, she decided to watch a film. The DVDs were in worse shape than the music. She reorganized them, as well. When she’d finished, she categorized Lucy’s book collection according to the Dewey Decimal system. She would probably throw a fit, but Sara didn’t care. She needed something to do.
Lucy probably wouldn’t thank her, but Sara rearranged her desk, so she could work more efficiently. She figured Lucy would form a lynching party for her later, but she was so hyper, she couldn’t help it.
~ ~ ~
Time seemed to crawl. She tried everything to keep her mind off Jared, but his penetrating eyes kept sneaking into her thoughts. Every song she listened to reminded her of him. She shook her head and groaned. “What have you done to me, Jared?”
They had met yesterday, and already she felt lost without him. She’d never been so obsessed with anyone. Why did he have such a hold on her? Doubt seeped into her thoughts. She began to wonder if this was for real. Whether Jared was for real. Old feelings and fears weighted her down. “Am I reading too much into one date? Did last night count as a date?”
She’d been alone with him for a while, on two occasions. They’d kissed twice, no wait, three times. Did that make it a date? “This evening certainly would qualify as our official first date. Am I getting ahead of myself? Does he feel as strongly about me as I do about him?”
Maybe she was being impulsive. Maybe she’d assumed he’d felt the same. Sara desperately wanted to call him, send him a text, anything to form a connection with him.
“What if my feelings aren’t genuine? I’ve been wrong before.”
~ ~ ~
She sat down at Lucy’s upright piano, and played whatever felt right. Eventually, a melody took shape. She played through it a couple more times and smiled. She grabbed her laptop. Using her composer program, she made a recording of the piano part. She also made a quick harmony track of herself, singing backup.
She played her guitar and recorded it with the other two tracks. She made a recording of her voice and mixed all the tracks together. She used different effects to tweak the sound and copied the file to her USB key. She fastened it back to the strap around her neck so she could share it with Jared later if she got the chance. He might not even show up.
Thinking of him was a terrible mistake. Sara’s doubts and fears came flooding back, crashing her semi-happy mood. She didn’t have the heart to work anymore. She needed an escape, a way to express her feelings. The emptiness was like a cancer, slowly devouring her confidence. Only one song could express the pain she felt inside. Music was her way of coping and expressing feelings she was afraid to act upon, in the real world.
She worked through the chords progressions, grabbed her laptop and guitar and went outside, to the backyard. She leaned against a big tree and loaded her accompaniment program.
~ ~ ~
Sara closed her eyes and strummed her guitar. Soon she was in a world of her own. As always, she was so wrapped up in her music, she lost all track of time. She didn’t hear the doorbell. When she didn’t answer, Jared walked around and came through the side gate.
Her eyes were still closed, lost to the real world. She became aware of another presence, a new vibration in the air around her. One of those urges, you simply can’t ignore. She swallowed hard and slowly opened her eyes.
He was standing there, perfectly still, not making a sound. His face was twisted in an odd expression, almost like pain.
Sara’s heart jumped to her throat. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. Oh, God! He’s changed his mind about me! He’s come to end it. He doesn’t wanna see me anymore! She waited for him to say something, do something, make a move of some kind.
Jared stared at her with an empty, lost look in his eyes. He knelt on one knee and brushed some loose hairs behind her ear.
She thought her heart would stop. The anticipation was killing her. His nearness was driving her mad. What are you doing? Why are you stalling? Oh, God! Why doesn’t he get it over with? She was dying inside. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes. Maybe this was what he wanted. “Just say it,” she whispered.
His lips lingered on her forehead. He frowned slightly. “What’s wrong, Sara?”
She blinked. “I’m not sure I wanna hear what you’re gonna say.”
His frown deepened. “What did you think, I was gonna say?”
Sara blinked; tears rolled down her cheek. “That you don’t want,” she broke off. “That you’ve thought about us, and you don’t,” she broke off again. This isn’t working. Just say it, coward! “That you don’t wanna see me anymore,” she blurted.
Jared smiled into her eyes. Nothing could be further from the truth! “I was gonna say, your song was beautiful, but I hope it wasn’t about me. If it was, I haven’t made my feelings clear. Sara, I can’t bear to be away from you.”
She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do, how to feel. She stared into his eyes, hoping a moment of inspiration would come out of the blue and eliminate her doubts. What am I supposed to do? How am I supposed to feel? Should I fall into his arms and kiss him? Where’s my silent muse when I need her?
There was a long pause while he patiently waited for her to find her voice. She kept her chin tucked; she wouldn’t look at him. “I’m scared Jared,” she said, barely above a whisper.
He lifted her chin with his index finger until their eyes met again. It wasn’t easy for her to hide her feelings from him. It was as if he was a part of her already. His penetrating gaze pierced her heart, straight to her soul.
He was surprised and hurt; his eyes glossed. “Scared? Of what, me? Of what I said?”
Sara sighed and sniffed. “I’m confused and overwhelmed. I’m not in control of my feelings anymore. I’m beginning to think I’m part of some elaborate plan that’s been weaving my life and pushing me in this direction. Pushing me closer… to you. I don’t know how to take this.” She sighed again. She desperately wanted to look away. She needed to focus. She needed to find clarity, but he wouldn’t let her look away.
“I’ve lived my life, mostly on absolutions, and logic,” she reluctantly continued. “What’s going on between us, well, it doesn’t fall under those categories.”
Jared’s eyes turned dark, serious, swirling with sorrow. “Am I, moving too fast for you? Do you want me, to back off?”
“No!” Sara answered quickly. “I don’t, and that’s what scares me. I’ve reached a point of no return. If this ends, if we end, I’m headed for one hell of a fall. I’m living in a fantasy world, and I’m not Cinderella. There won’t be a happy ending, not for me.”
“It’s not fantasy, Sara!” he smiled. “It’s real. I’ve spent the last two hours, cleaning my office. My desk is spotless. My office is spotless. My receptionist thinks I’m mad. It’s unusual for me to spring clean my desk or my office, but I needed something to do. Thirty minutes ago, I began feeling so lost and empty. If I’d given in to those feelings, I would’ve cried. I could think of only one thing that would make me feel this way. I had to know you were OK.”
He stroked her hair. “I left the clinic. I couldn’t get home fast enough. I showered and dressed so fast, I’m not even sure my socks match,” he snorted. “All I thought about was getting to you. Holding you in my arms and scaring away whatever made you feel this way. I jumped on my bike and rushed straight over here. I know I’m early, but I couldn’t stand it another second!”
Jared brushed the back of his fingers across her cheek. “What do I find when I get here?” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “Come here,” he said and held her. He kissed her neck and buried his face in her hair. “I’ve missed you, Sara. It’s been hours since we were together, but I’ve missed you!”
“I’ve missed you too! I can’t take this. It hurts like hell. I can’t breathe without you. I don’t want to breathe without you.”
“I feel the same. What are we gonna do?”
“I don’t know,” her voice trailed off.
He tightened his jaw. He held her so close she could hardly breathe. “I can’t be away from you! I don’t care what anyone thinks or says. I’ve gotta have you with me. One way or the other, I will have you with me.”
Sara’s eyes filled with tears. His words filled her with such warmth. Her heart was so full, she thought it might burst. “I don’t care either,” she finally whispered.
He put her guitar in its case. “Let’s get outta here. We’ll talk about this some more, when we get where we’re going. I’ll take your guitar. Meet me under the carport.”
~ ~ ~
She tossed her laptop on the foot of the bed and clipped her pen to the collar of her T-shirt. She sent Lucy a quick text, telling her she was with Jared, and probably wouldn’t be home for dinner. She stuffed a notepad into her back pocket, in case inspiration struck, and she needed to scribble down some song ideas and went outside. She locked the door and approached him.
He smiled, pulled her into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. He handed her the extra helmet he’d brought. Using a bungee strap, he secured her guitar to the back and crawled on his bike.
She slipped in behind him and wrapped her arms, tightly around his waist. She wondered how they would communicate with their helmets on.
As if reading her mind, Jared fiddled with a dial on his bike, and her helmet hissed. “Can you hear me alright?”
“Yes, but how?”
“The helmets are voice-activated. They’re connected directly to my radio.”
“Wow! This’s neat.”
“It’s kind of a long trip. I wanted us to be able to talk.” He kick-started the bike and revved the engine. “Ready?”
“I think so.”
“You don’t sound too confident,” he chuckled.
“I’m fine. I love being with you.”
“Hang on tight. We’re gonna fly!”
Sara squeezed him. His body reacted to her touch. “Oh, angel, be careful there! I could get used to this.”
She sighed contentedly and rested her head against his back. “I could too.”
He turned the bike around. “Steve’s outside. I’ll get his attention. Wave as we go by. I wanna make sure he understands you’re mine.”
She frowned. “I think he knows.”
“Yeah, but I like rubbing it in.”
Jared whistled. Steve looked up, smiled, shook his head and waved back.
~ ~ ~
He pulled onto the main highway and headed out of the city, toward the hills. “Wanna listen to some music or just talk?”
“Can’t we do both?”
“Sure, I can adjust the music and the helmet volume separately. What do you wanna listen to? I noticed you were wearing a flash drive around your neck. It wouldn’t happen to have music on it, would it?”
“Yes,” Sara smiled. “Do you want it?”
“No!” he answered quickly. “Wait ’til I stop.”
Jared pulled onto the shoulder and left the engine idling. He reached back. “I’ll take it now.” He put it in his radio and adjusted the volume. “Can you still hear me alright?”
“Yes.” She loved the sound of his voice. It made her all tingly inside.
“Is the music loud enough?”
“It’s fine.”
“Is this you? It sounds like the same song you were singing outside.”
“I wish,” Sara laughed. “It’s the same song, but this is by the original artist. It’s called ‘My Immortal’ by Evanescence.”
“Honestly, Sara, I thought it was you. Do you have any of your songs on here?”
“Yeah – one, something I worked on earlier today.”
“If it’s not too late, when we get back, I want us to try the Evanescence song.”
“I love singing with you,” she smiled.
“Oh, no! I’ll help you with the chorus like I did with ‘The Rose’, but I want you to do this one on your own. I’m just gonna play the piano.”
“Why?”
“As sad as the song is, it’s still beautiful. It suits your voice. I think it would sound better as a solo.”
“OK,” Sara drew out, skeptically.
“Hang on tight. I’d never forgive myself if you got hurt. You don’t act as if you’ve done this before.”
“That’s because I haven’t. Jeff, my former, well, anyway. He offered me a ride on his bike. I refused.”
“Really? Why?”
Sara squeezed her arms around him. “I didn’t trust him.”
Jared chuckled, revved the engine and pulled back onto the highway. “And you trust me?”
“Completely,” she sighed.
“Good.” The next song started; ‘Super Massive Black Hole’ by Muse came on. “Looks like someone else listens to different music too.”
Sara frowned. “Excuse me?”
“I write, play and sing country, but I listen to different genres of music.”
“It usually depends on how I feel, at the time.”
Jared smirked. “So how are you feeling now?”
“Happy, safe, peaceful and a little dangerous. This song always makes me feel a little wild. I like to listen to it, when I’m driving. I play it over and over. I think they used it on ‘Twilight’. I haven’t seen it yet, and I understand the second of the series is coming out soon.”
Wow! She was talking to him, and she wasn’t tripping over her tongue. She usually did when she talked to someone she was interested in, but she’d stopped feeling nervous around him. Why, she wondered.
“I can help you there. I have the DVD and the books, all of them. I saw the movie after I bought the book set. I read all four volumes in less than a week. I couldn’t put them down. I guess they kinda reminded me of us. We’ll go see the second movie, and all the others, together.”
“How could they remind you of us? You didn’t know me then. You’re not a vampire, are you?” she teased.
Jared snorted. “No vampire here. So, do you wanna see the other movies with me?” he asked, abruptly changing the subject.
“Yes.”
“It’s a date then, but I’m not gonna stay away from you between now and then.”
“I wouldn’t like that.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not! You’ll be lucky if I let you outta my sight. Do you enjoy living in Shreveport?”
Sara smiled at his evasiveness. “I do now.”
Jared took his left hand off the handlebar and squeezed her arm; he smiled. “I’m glad.”
The next song started. “This is the one I did this morning.”
“Really?” He didn’t say anything else until the song finished. “Did Lucy work today?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Who played the piano and sang backup for you?”
“I did,” she laughed.
“You didn’t say you played piano!”
She laughed again. “You never asked. I don’t play it, per se. I can read notes, but I play by ear.”
“I could teach you if you wanna learn.”
I’m sure you can. Sara smiled. “We’ll see.”